My Father Wants To Join The TMF!

[Mitchell]

Before everyone's eyes pop out of their heads, let me explain exactly what happened.

Obviously, I did NOT tell my father I belong to this forum, or that I like tickling and feet. Simply put, its none of his fucking business.. or.. as my friend Barney says, he doesnt need to know.

He does know that I've belonged to a chatroom for a long time.. supposedly on Yahoo, where you have to be 18 to join, because topics of sex come up. He also knows there are mods, if people get too rowdy. I did tell him that everyone was very supportive when my mom was sick and died.

Had this been me, especially considering the closed, hidden person he is, I would never have probed further. Of course, since he always has to butt into my business, he wanted to know how he could join! I said something like.. "Its mostly for younger adults and middle aged people. People your age arent on here"

Sigh and GRRRR! I got so fucking pissed after he did this, that I said to him "I really have rreservations about getting involved, or married. If you dont like the girl I'm involved with, you'll make my life miserable". He said something like "That's the chance you take".

Everything is power and control. He knows many lawyers, and last month when I got here, I sent him detailed plans for the business I want to do, and told him I want to focus on business now, get my head together, and look for a job in Sept. Today he was like "Send me a resume for you, and let's discuss what job you want" GRRRRR again! I'm not taking any money from him, and made the decision to focus on a business first, and job later.

I have to go to the eye Dr on Wed, and so I'll be having dinner with Cheryl and him. Joy! We'll see what shit comes out of their mouths then.

My mom was taken away, and I'm left with this. I will know things are better when my business is successful, and I can tell him. "Now, you either respect my feelings, or I throw you the fuck out of my life.. permanently.".

Sorry for the rant. He makes me crazy., I predict that if I do get a job or business I'm successful at, and ,meet someone, he will either be a very minimal part of my life, or not at all. He just doesnt get it, and never will.

Mitch

 

[maniactickler]

If he joins, he will probably snoop around at all your posts.

 

[paracarl44]

Exactly how did he find out about this forum?

 

[Mitchell]

He didnt. All he knows is that I've belonged to a social chatroom, for a long time, where you have to be 18 to join, because topics of sex and adult matter are discussed. All he asked is how he would go about finding the chatroom. I'm saying I dont want him to find out, because he doesnt know about my fetishes, and also because I've discussed him on here.

Unless he unexpectedly goes on my computer and into the history, he cant find out. My rl friends know about this forum, but they also know how he treats me, and would never betray me by telling him about it.

Mitch

 

[kurchatovium]

Invest in some privacy software I think my friend. So you can erase browser histories and encrypt files. Just a thought.

 

[Mitchell]

Sounds like a good idea. Thanks, kurch.

Mitch

 

[Leo tickles]

Maybe he's just trying to be a part of your life more? And yes, marrying a girl that a parent doesn't like is always a chance you take.

If you do your job, he won't be able to ruin your life when/if you settle down.

 

[Mitchell]

Leo, I dont think he wants to be a part of my life more. He likes to probe me.

Yes, I know if I do my job thst he cant ruin my life. I have my plans of what I'm going to do. Hopefully it will work out.

Mitch

 

[paracarl44]

Delete your history, if he has access to your computer.

 

[ticklebrowse26]

Step 1) Delete your history.

Step 2) Join a NASCAR or cat-show-enthusiast or gardening forum. Post a few things.

Step 3) Send him Step 2's link.

It's none of his business, really.

 

[chicago]

Dude, how old are you?

Do you not have the power to like... I don't know ... tell your dad you're a grown ass man and to fuck off?

Not to mention, I think you're overreacting. You must have mentioned something to him about this place, however vague, over the years and he showed some interest. He doesn't seem to know what the TMF is and it doesn't seem like he's actually going to join unless he goes about it all sneaky like.

Relax.

 

[Mitchell]

Mairead, go look at my profile. I'm 42.

Uh, no, I didnt mention to him about this place over the years, ever. All he knows, as I stated previously, very clearly, is that I belong to a chatroom where sexual topics do come up, and you have to be 18 to join. He knows people were supportive when my mom died, period. He doesnt know anything about feet, tickling, etc.

He wont be able to find this place unless he goes on my computer, which he doesnt.

I just found it.. weird is all. Chances are, he'll never find out. He basically knows very little about me, which is how I hope to keep it.

Mitch

 

[Enderman]

Hmm. I think this calls for craftiness. He knows you browse a site, but knows nothing about this site itself... Find something really nasty, like say, Gurochan (do NOT look this up at work, or really any time you're not alone) and tell him that's where you've been lurking online. Gross him into leaving you alone.

Yeah, I know, I have issues. But I'm only half-joking when I suggest it.

 

[Mitchell]

LOL thanks.

I work at home now, I'm an antiques dealer at the moment, but will probably be getting another type of job soon, so web browsing isnt an issue for me now.

I like your idea. I will think about it.

Mitch

 

[kis123]

I'm sorry Mitch, but I'm hysterically laughing at your expense right now

I think Annie has a point; you are overreacting and you're still very sensitive.

I think the reason he wants to join is to get to know you better. Hey you've only been estranged most of your lives and now he has the opportunity to learn more about you now that your mother is gone. I think it's a wierd way of doing it similar to father and son strip club dates, but......I'm sorry, it's just funny to me!

Please don't be offended, but it's just how I see it. Besides I've had a rough 9 days and it's time something made me laugh.

Oh, privacy check the hell out of your computer..........or you're gonna' have some problems. Just quit over analyzing his motives; he's just trying to get to know you better. Besides, you'll date and marry whoever you want to just like he did.

 

[Mitchell]

kis, I'm not offended. I know that you have always been honest with me. I'm sorry to hear about your rough time. I hope things get better.

Maybe you're right that he did want to get to know me better. The whole thing just made me feel uncomfortable. I do know this much.. If he did know about my fetishes, he would likely make fun of me, or say something like "you might have to accept that you may meet a girl who wont want you to tickle her, or play with her feet". To which my reply would be. "I wouldnt date such a girl".

Hopefully all this is hypothetical.

Mitch

 

[Leo tickles]

kis, I'm not offended. I know that you have always been honest with me. I'm sorry to hear about your rough time. I hope things get better.

Maybe you're right that he did want to get to know me better. The whole thing just made me feel uncomfortable. I do know this much.. If he did know about my fetishes, he would likely make fun of me, or say something like "you might have to accept that you may meet a girl who wont want you to tickle her, or play with her feet". To which my reply would be. "I wouldnt date such a girl".

Hopefully all this is hypothetical.

Mitch

But.. I.. said... AAAAH FUGETABOUIT!

 

[WorkInProgress]

I don't think Yahoo has chats anymore, the way it used to. In any event, I agree with your interpretation of his behavior--if he just wants to get to know you better the way to do it is by spending more time with you without the help of a computer--but given your history, I'm surprised that you told him as much as you did. He's better off now knowing even that much. And for God's sake don't leave history traces on a computer that he has access to. (If he really persists, then you may want to find some chat room that fits the description, make some posts in it--and ideally it won't display your number of posts for everyone to see--and give him the link to that one.)

 

[WorkInProgress]

Leo: Lovely signature.

 

[Leo tickles]

Leo: Lovely signature.

Thank you.

 

[GQguy]

The advice is coming from a good place....but come on guys.....who of you would delete your posts, history or join decoy sites to throw your father off? Sure, when we were teens but not as adults. What would you guys REALLY do in this situation?

 

[TMF Jeff]

What would I really do? I'd tell my father, thanks for the thought but I'm not comfortable with that.

If he tried to insist, I'd firmly tell him to back off, and make it stick.

But I think Mitch just doesn't have that in him and may need to find some kind of non-confrontational way of dealing with this.

 

[Mitchell]

Jeff. thanks for your advice.

While he hasnt mentioned joining recently, I like what you said, and will try it, in the more milder version, simply because hes helping me in ways he hasnt before.

Everyone here knows that I've told him to back off, and fuck off, many times. I was estranged from him for six years at one point. This time, it isnt so easy.

If it comes up again, I'm going to tell him that I really dont want him to join, and that I need privacy with some things.

Thanks again. I'll see what happens with this situation.

Mitch

 

[Cif]

You should download Tor and use their browser with the private browsing function. I tend to use it as it offers the highest levels of online privacy currently available.