My new GF is ticklish but she hates it :( how do you fight the urge?

[moose]

So my somewhat GF not sure what we are at the moment. but her and me were hanging out a few times and I found out that she has very ticklish feet and is ticklish on her sides and ribs. She cannot stand to be tickled tho she has already yelled at me twice for it lol so how do you fight the urge to not do it when you know you really want to?

 

[Sandrock74]

Leave her and get a new "somewhat girlfriend". You'll never be happy with this one.

 

[iloveddub]

You just can't. My husband is very ticklish in a few places, but he hates it. There is no reward in "playing" if they're not...unless you're a sadist. Maybe find someone else to hang out with.

 

[robmic]

I took a quick peek at your profile and you stated that you're more a 'lee than a 'ler. So, does she have any interest in tickling you? I not, then I agree with the others here.... bail now! It's not worth the frustration. If you like being tickled yourself, it shouldn't be too hard to find someone that would let you tickle them if you are letting them tickle you more. that sounds like a win win situation for all involved.

 

[voided9]

Good advice all around. If she's willing to be a 'ler with you, then you may have some common ground... if not, and she absolutely doesn't want to be tickled, you would be better off finding someone else. You won't truly be happy with someone who won't indulge your fetish.

 

[maniactickler]

Time to move on.

 

[marcusb]

BTDT. Usually ended quickly.

 

[ticklehound]

First of all, are you at all serious with her?? If not, then I don't see what the problem is... Move on!

I'd explore the 'lee angle like robmic says. I can't imagine a woman who wouldn't at least be curious about tickling their ticklish partner. If she won't even touch you like that... Move on!

Now, if you really like this woman, I would advice you to tell her how much you like tickling her... be honest. If it were me, I'd comment how I love her smile, her laugh, how much you like the way she moves, how her skin feels... HELL, how it turns ME on! If she changes her tune & is willing to indulge - great. If not, see above & Move on!

 

[Dandy Jack]

A few times I think you should grab her and give her the tickling of he life... She might like it...

It is not the general view, but once helpless in ticklish laughter you might have a great tickle partner...

I assume that if she cannot get away from your tickle torture that she may change her view.

Many women change their minds. Try it and see... when she can't stop laughing... Her view could easily

change..

If she asks you to do it again sometime...

You have made progress...

Make sure to tease her while exploring her ticklish spots.

All ticklish people do not volunteer to be tickled.

Those are my thoughts...

When I was tickled off guard I liked it the most...

Your almost girlfriend my like it too!

Dandy Jack

 

[voided9]

Please do not follow Dandy Jack's advice; if she truly does not like being tickled, then you tickling her will make her extremely uncomfortable, possibly piss her off and you could potentially ruin a friendship.

 

[Dandy Jack]

My advice may help him... Stranger things have happened...

The Status Quo does not always know best!

The choice is his.

I am just giving my opinion.

God forbid we all think the same...

Dandy Jack!

 

[WorkInProgress]

A number of the responses in this thread follow a pattern all too common here at TMF: people telling you definitively and authoritatively that tickling has to be the all-important, deal-breaking factor in your relationship. But really, only you can decide that. How important is it for you to be able to tickle somebody? Can you be happy without it? Can you have a fulfilling love life and sex life without it? If you can't, then you're best off being realistic about that now, but nobody knows your needs better than you do. If the relationship is serious and promising in other ways, then you may at some point want to tell her about it and see how she reacts; then again you may not. Whatever you do, these are the questions you have to explore, and you should ignore anybody here who suggests that there's a single right answer.

 

[WorkInProgress]

After note: I absolutely do not recommend what Dandy Jack thinks you should do. In worst case scenario, it could make for a police incident. In second worst case scenario, it could make for an angry breakup. There is, of course, a best case scenario, but I really wouldn't bet on that happening. Maybe stranger things have happened, but by definition, strange things are what usually don't happen.

 

[jhop220]

If you care for this woman at all, then respect her wishes about it. Tickling should never be the defining factor in a relationship. Once you two become more comfortable with each other, perhaps you can be up front with your likes and see what happens. Until then, don't do anything that makes her feel uncomfortable.

 

[Barlow]

She might be open to it if you give her whatever she wants. In my opinion good communication is the key.

 

[Jagermeistered]

A few times I think you should grab her and give her the tickling of he life... She might like it...

It is not the general view, but once helpless in ticklish laughter you might have a great tickle partner...

I assume that if she cannot get away from your tickle torture that she may change her view.

Many women change their minds. Try it and see... when she can't stop laughing... Her view could easily

change..

If she asks you to do it again sometime...

You have made progress...

Make sure to tease her while exploring her ticklish spots.

All ticklish people do not volunteer to be tickled.

Those are my thoughts...

When I was tickled off guard I liked it the most...

Your almost girlfriend my like it too!

Dandy Jack

Is this imaginary or a blowup doll? I am hoping for one of the two.

 

[moose]

well tbh she didnt yell like she was mad she said it in a playful way and we known each other for a year and only been together couple of weeks

 

[voided9]

That's not too bad, moose. Just gotta be careful and respectful. Maybe you could be more up front and actually ask her if she minds being tickled?

 

[Jagermeistered]

I think tickling can be used as a flirtatious, foreplay, and/or even sex-tool. But, you first need that physical attraction. Do not jump in with all fingers and tools! Like some others...

 

[Dandy Jack]

Get rid of her or tickle her!!! How you do it is up to you. You are the master of your own destiny!

If you want her then you must find a way to bring her to your way of thinking!

The other option is to

stay with her and never indulge your fetish...

that way the miserable one can just be you.

A lot of women can live with that! I think...

There has to be a compromise somewhere.

Remember in a lot of relationships with women... It's all about them!

Not always but I am not that far off the mark!

Balance the options Sir!

Dandy Jack!

 

[Sodahead]

A few times I think you should grab her and give her the tickling of he life... She might like it...

This is an awful idea. Look at it this way. I know a girl who I would like to have sex with. Right now I'm not sure that the feeling is mutual. If I were to try to have sex with her without her consent, that would be attempted rape. Since I a) am not a rapist and b) care about this person, this approach is not an option. Since tickling is sexual for you, and clearly isn't for her, it would be similar to rape or at least molestation to attempt tickling her against her will.

So how do you fight the urge? I guess you have to put her need to be comfortable above your sexual needs. Especially if you really like her.

 

[Jagermeistered]

Get rid of her or tickle her!!! How you do it is up to you. You are the master of your own destiny!

If you want her then you must find a way to bring her to your way of thinking!

I agree with the first sentence, but the second, is tyrannical...

The other option is to

stay with her and never indulge your fetish... (or, you are way too obsessed)?

that way the miserable one can just be you. (and, she is the only one that exists)...

A lot of women can live with that! I think... (I can't get laid; because, the chick thinks!)

There has to be a compromise somewhere. (Tell that to everybody!)

Remember in a lot of relationships with women... It's all about them!

So, chicks are its?

Not always but I am not that far off the mark!

Balance the options Sir!

Dandy Jack!

 

[devioustickler]

If you can see a future and know you can love her than you jus learn to deal with it. Tickling doesn't make a relationship. My first gf was SUPER ticklish but HATED being tickled cuz as a kid, her bors would tickle her till she peed. We were together for 5 years and she didn't mind a poke here but she knew I loved tickling and feet and when I was good and deserved it she wld let me tickle her and play with her feet but it was every once in awhile... I didn't mind too much cuz I jus loved her soo much. If you feel you NEED tickling than do what you wanna do and if that means leave then so be it, but if you feel you care more about her than getting your tickle on, than give it time and you will see tickling isnst everything.

 

[tickle_viking]

I think you simplify too much Moose. Your question states that you don´t have any other option but choosing between this girl and your love for tickling. It´s just not that simple.

If there is one thing I have learned in my life it is that all relations is based on the ability to communicate and compromise. That said I admit it´s not easy to do. Especially when it comes to something as intimate as sexual preferences. But if you don´t have a talk with this girl and just discard her for her initial feelings towards tickling, you would be really unfair to her.

So talk to her about it. Tell her about how important tickling is to you and try to find a compromise. Promise to do the dishes or watch desperate housewives after you tickled her or what not. The important thing is that she understands what makes you happy and that you are willing to to make her happy. Then it´s up to her to decide if she accept to do what you ask.

In a relationship sometimes you will be forced to do things you don´t want to satisfy your partner, and your partner will have to do it for you. But you both must have the right to put your own limits on these sacrifices.

I´ll give Dandy Jack right in one thing: You are the master of your destiny! Well she´s the master in hers. So be respectful and give eachother all the facts you need to reach a common decision.

It may turn out good or it may turn out bad. Either way you will be one experience richer and a better person if you learn from it.

What you should not do is letting a third party (this forum) be the master of your destiny. Because you MUST make this decision yourself to feel comfortable with it.

I wish you good luck!

 

[Dandy Jack]

Moose ask flying squirrel what he would do...

Trying to add humor!

Dandy Jack!