The parents of poor girl purchased to it for birthday mobile telephone in credit. Alicia very happy and bore a valuable gift in school. Local queen of beauty Britney took away a telephone and trampled it the fancy shoes. Revenge Alicia must be the very special.
Родители бедной девушки купили ей на день рождения мобильный телефон в кредит. Alicia очень обрадовалась и понесла ценный подарок в школу. Местная королева красоты Britney отобрала телефон и растоптала его своими туфельками. Месть Alicia должна быть очень специальной.
I think it's pretty clear. Babelfish (or whatever) must have just deleted the grammar. Here's what's going on:
Alicia is a poor girl. Her parents purchase for her birthday an expensive cell phone, using a credit card. Alicia is very happy and brings the cell phone to school.
Britney, a local Beauty Queen, takes the phone from Alicia and tramples it under her expensive shoes.
Alicia decides to have a very special revenge on Britney, on her feet and shoes. ( Presumably, tickling the former and destroying the latter.)
* * * * *
Though, Russians being the wacky people that they are, maybe she cuts and scratches the feet, and tickles the shoes. She swills the last of her wodka, and the next scene shows her standing in the snow, barefoot on a bridge in the middle of winter. Everyone speaks about how things were better 100 years ago. There is much remembering about some victory at Stalingrad. Borcsht is eaten. An umbrella is opened.
The next chapter inexplicably open 350 years in the past, something about the Mongol Hordes. This is never mentioned in any of the following chapters, or explained again.
next chapter, it is 20 years in the future. Britney is dead, and Alicia has run off to Paris to hide her baby daughter from the Count. A man named Pnin loses his dentures while thinking about his ex-wife. We are inside the mind of an ant as it scuttles along the ground. In the background, a fiddler plays on a roof. There is much more remembering about the war in Dneproptrovsk.
This goes on for 900 more pages.
***
That's as close as I could get to ever deciphering the plot of a Russian story. I hope it helps any wannabe writers! I'm pretty sure at least one of these two is close to what the original poster had in mind.
