Not good enough?

[negrosaki]

Some background...

Today I was honored as 9th in my class at a dinner at school. Once home, I called my girlfriend, and about 45 minutes into our talk, she mentioned that she had been thinking during work, and she had come to the conclusion that she didn't think she was good enough for me, since she's 28th (out of 62). I assured her this was not the case, but I don't think I convinced her. The thing is, I really, truly love her, and I know she's more than good enough for me. How can I prove this to her? I have a feeling most conventional methods won't work on this one.

 

[Azrael]

I Hate to Say This...

...But...

If your girlfriend is seriously trying to end things, and this is the reason she's giving, then there is something else going on behind the scenes. I don't mean, "she's cheating," I mean, "she has another reason she's been broading on for a while, and she either doesn't necessarily quite know why she wants to end things, or she simply doesn't want to let you in on the reason."

Now, I'm not a guru of any sort, by any means, but I do know two things; one, is that something so (no offense intended) meaningless in the greater, self-worth "scheme of things" as "class standing" is not a reason to end a relationship. Put bluntly, anybody with sensibilities advanced beyond the elementary school level is going to realize that there is an awful lot more to a person than this particular factor.

The other thing I know, from a sad quantity of personal experience, is that "I'm not good enough for you" is typically a cover.

Again, I could be completely wrong. She may honestly feel that she is not good enough for you because there's a gap in your class standing. This, however, strikes me as being Twilight Zone bizarre.

 

[Mistress Aura]

With all due respect, it sounds like she's feeling insecure and wanted you to reassure her with a bit of "hoop-jumping". (I was a pro at that myself when I was a teenager and on into my 20s, so those dance steps look a little familiar.)

Get alpha about it without getting neanderthal. Tell her that, while you appreciate how highly she obviously thinks of you to suddenly feel like you might deserve "better", you're perfectly capable of making that kind of decision on your own and have every intention of doing so. Tell her you love her, you're not going anyplace and if she's saying it because she really wants to bail, now's the time to talk about it. If she wasn't looking for an excuse to leave, then tell her the subject needs to be closed. Yes, she may get p*ssed off if you actually are calling her bluff, but start playing the "prove-you-really-love-me" game now and I promise you, it will never, ever end.

Mistress Aura