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People with fake profiles ...I don't like you.

24hourphil

24hourphil

TMF Poster
Joined
Mar 28, 2007
Messages
87
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I've been a member on here for a pretty long time and I'd have to say this is my number one complaint. It seems out of the hands of moderation however, can't something be done? I honestly don't "chat it up" aka getting my hopes up, unless she can add me on facebook ...skype ..personalized photo.. not all of these things, but at least SOMETHING to keep me from heading down that slippery slope of frustration and discouragement. I'm curious what others think.

Another note: I wish the TMF had a "search by city" option ...it's 2012 and whyyyy?!?! lol


Anyway, I rant like this bc it feels pretty good.
 
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24hourphil said:
I wish the TMF had a "search by city" option ...
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No, we don't need one. That's just stalker fuel...

Want my advice, bro? Just wade through the fakes. Sure it's a pain in the ass, but think of the relation/friendships you can forge with real people.
 
24hourphil said:
I wish the TMF had a "search by city" option ...
Click to expand...

No, we don't need one. That's just stalker fuel...

Want my advice, bro? Just wade through the fakes. Sure it's a pain in the ass, but think of the relation/friendships you can forge with real people.
 
The search function is not designed to allow for searching by city. Many members do not provide one also, making the ability pretty spotty even if we could offer it. Sorry.

As for taking action against fake profiles, There is no way to deal with this issue other then going to hand verification of each person that asks to join the forum. This involves me doing an interview, asking for a active webcam, and/or photographic proof that cannot be quickly faked. It takes time. Doing things this way would in effect choke off new members from joining, and be step one to the forums death. Not a path we choose.

Myriads
 
By fake profiles, I'm assuming you mean dudes pretending to be girls? That's definitely a sensitive issue around here, and for good reason. It's dishonest and sometimes creepy. I understand your frustration in trying to meet someone, but are wary because they may be "fake." That's a totally legit concern. However, in all of the discussions I've read on the topic I've never seen a particular aspect of it brought up. So I may as well, and I'll probably catch some heat for it.


Maybe for some people gender is a fluid issue. I remember in Psychology classes reading about people who describe themselves as a woman stuck in a male body and vice versa. This has to be somewhat prevalent, given the fact that there are people who have sex changes. Perhaps by creating a fake profile, they are finding some sort of outlet for their uncertainty. We tend to be really harsh on suspected "fakes" and I often find myself being really judgmental towards ones I'm suspicious of. But we are after all, a forum that is geared towards people exploring a fetish that isn't quite "mainstream." While we don't have to agree with their methods we can at least try to have some understanding for their situation. Just a thought.
 
Revenant said:
No, we don't need one. That's just stalker fuel...
Click to expand...

Yep. I can't see Myraids or Jeff adding that feature.

Want my advice, bro? Just wade through the fakes. Sure it's a pain in the ass, but think of the relation/friendships you can forge with real people.
Click to expand...

Indeed. I've been burned a few times, it's the nature of the beast. You chalk it up to experience and move on. The few phonies are nothing compared to all the great people I've gotten to know here.
 
Unfortunately it is difficult to distinguish reaI profiles from fake ones, even though something similar might happen in life when you thought you knew somebody but found out they had one or more pretty dark personality traits, saying or doing something you would have never expected from him or her.

I could imagine if there were a search option, people might start adding a wrong city to their profile so their true place won't be discovered by everyone, unless of course members could choose to add themselves to the location search if meeting people nearby is what they are here for.
 
It is frustrating, yet also comes with the vast territory known as "Internet".

This is a sexual forum where all are welcome. This can also include the unstable. Many would like to keep their anonymity unless their mind changes, and with whom they choose to divulge to.

I can only advise you on how I've dealt with this myself: and that is to meet people at gatherings. You can't get any more real than that. You will not only see who is male and female, but you will also be able to strike up conversation and get a TRUE feel for who someone is. The internet and chatting over messengers tends to hide...a lot. Even on skype! Because you don't get to see how they interact with anyone but you.
 
Wait I have to talk to people on here?

That's what I've been doing wrong all of these years. That and my energetic personality.
 
How much of a problem is the fake profile issue anyway?

One possible solution is for people to provide a salute. Years ago when I was on a picture rating website, a person could take a picture of themself holding a card with their username written on it, as a means of stating that their picture really was a picture of them. It was entirely optional. Could that work here?
 
Myriads said:
The search function is not designed to allow for searching by city. Many members do not provide one also, making the ability pretty spotty even if we could offer it. Sorry.
Click to expand...

Yes, if you volunteer your city, you take that risk...

As for taking action against fake profiles, There is no way to deal with this issue other then going to hand verification of each person that asks to join the forum. This involves me doing an interview, asking for a active webcam, and/or photographic proof that cannot be quickly faked. It takes time. Doing things this way would in effect choke off new members from joining, and be step one to the forums death. Not a path we choose.
Click to expand...

This is not the 1980's anymore, you get what you sacrifice...
 
JohnM87 said:
How much of a problem is the fake profile issue anyway?

One possible solution is for people to provide a salute. Years ago when I was on a picture rating website, a person could take a picture of themself holding a card with their username written on it, as a means of stating that their picture really was a picture of them. It was entirely optional. Could that work here?
Click to expand...

Once again, people love privacy! What if I am a famous person, and if this website divulges, "who I am" - it will destroy my main source of income? This is the problem with egalitarianism; I could be Brad Pitt, and you make me, "open up!"

What about my fan-base that hates tickling? I lose income, or will be out of future jobs! Actually, he is rich, and his rich wife hates tickling! Now, you have a potential divorce... What will happen with their adopted kids?



The whole point is privacy!
 
Jagermeistered said:
Yes, if you volunteer your city, you take that risk...
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Yes it would be ones own risk. But my point is that the search function which sucks as it stands is coded in such a way as to be impossible to adapt to searching on a profile element. VB has shown no desire to even fix the broken search feature, let alone improve it.

We can't offer it. Sorry.


Jagermeistered said:
This is not the 1980's anymore, you get what you sacrifice...
Click to expand...

I have no clue what you meant by this. It makes no sense.

I think you mean we are not willing to make the sacrifices needed to provide you with a more 'honest' member profile section.

There is no sacrifice. If I went to manual registration I'd need to hand verify every person via a web interview process. It would be slow as shit, and take hours out of every day for me, or a person I assigned to it. AND they could never keep up with the flow. It's not a possibility. I and none of my staff here make a cent for all the time we put in now, and I will never ask people to start putting in 8 hour work days verifying people for nothing. It's not a possibility.

To the user who suggested card verification, that works in a real time situation where one gives the person a phrase and they write and show it on a cam right them. It fails when time is allowed, as Photoshop allows people to do damned good fakes. Or take a image of a person with a card and change the words. So it's not a reliable tool to verify with unless it's real time.

Myriads
 
Myriads said:
Yes it would be ones own risk. But my point is that the search function which sucks as it stands is coded in such a way as to be impossible to adapt to searching on a profile element. VB has shown no desire to even fix the broken search feature, let alone improve it.

We can't offer it. Sorry.




I have no clue what you meant by this. It makes no sense.

I think you mean we are not willing to make the sacrifices needed to provide you with a more 'honest' member profile section.

There is no sacrifice. If I went to manual registration I'd need to hand verify every person via a web interview process. It would be slow as shit, and take hours out of every day for me, or a person I assigned to it. AND they could never keep up with the flow. It's not a possibility. I and none of my staff here make a cent for all the time we put in now, and I will never ask people to start putting in 8 hour work days verifying people for nothing. It's not a possibility.

To the user who suggested card verification, that works in a real time situation where one gives the person a phrase and they write and show it on a cam right them. It fails when time is allowed, as Photoshop allows people to do damned good fakes. Or take a image of a person with a card and change the words. So it's not a reliable tool to verify with unless it's real time.

Myriads
Click to expand...

I was not arguing against you, but perpetuating a fact that you displayed: in my own twisted way. :p
 
When I chat I tend to talk to girls and guys the same way. So it really doesn't bother me. I feel if the person is lying to me. I will find out eventually. I never get my hopes up for anything. She may be a real girl but she could also be married playing off as single or vise versa just to avoid a collage of PMs. Guys may say they are independantly wealthy and still live with there parents. you never really know until you meet face to face.
 
My advice to the OP is to attend a gathering. The people who were only screen names become real. And they can vouch for some others they know who aren't at that gathering.
 
I didn't even put my real city. A lot of people just put other things instead, also.
 
I know what you mean. I do not share many personal details because I cannot be sure who I am actually talking with.
 
I know what you're saying. I've been trying to hook up with Drew Barrymore here for three years now, and they all turn out to be Ben.
 
Personally, the right to anonymity is the greatest gift the internet has ever provided. Taking that away just seems... wrong.

I understand where you're coming from, which is why I don't use this as a dating site. And, if I do happen upon a girl on here that I'm interested in, a looooooong and tiring vetting process over a period of months will pre-date any seriousness.

The best advice by far has been to go to a gathering. There is no better way to put a face to a name.
 
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