Playful tickling with YOUR children

[Tickleman100]

I looked through many prior posts but couldn't find anything answering this particular question....if I'm wrong I apologize. This question is directed to the members with children and whose spouse or significant other know of their fetish. At the moment I do not have any kids but have often wondered how you would incorporate playful tickling with your children, especially if your spouse knows the depth of the fetish. When I was growing up I would often get into playful "tickle fights" with my parents before tickling ever became sexual for me. I think it is a good way to show physical affection on a scale different from sexual intimacy with your children. Did your spouse or SO think it was weird after having tickling used for sexual purposes? My concerns are more with older kids (teenagers) and particularly with those of the opposite gender. This question is not meant to be taken as far as being sexually attracted to your children.... I am just curious as to how members and their spouses or SO handled this situation and if it was even a problem. Any answers would be appreciated.

 

[Myriads]

Note to all posters:

This is a valid topic that can be discussed within our rule structure.
That said, do not turn the thread into a 'There was this one time..' story telling thread. Keep focused on the the topic.

With respect to the OP, this is a difficult question for many in the community, given that tickling is sexual for many members, they are very mindful of who they interact with respect to it. For many it's a non-starter and the idea will simply offend. Some replies that you see will reflect that, and come from that place of strong emotion.

Myriads

 

[Cosmo_ac]

Personally, I don't believe tickling has to be sexual, even if a person enjoys tickling on a sexual level. The two can be seperate, and intent is a big part of it. If your tickling a person with the intent of getting aroused that is one thing. If your tickling for the fun of it, it's another.

 

[StevePerry4Ever]

^ Agreed. For me personally, they become completely separated. If tickling is happening to a girl I'm interested in or attracted to, it's definitely sexual, but when I'm tickling my little cousin, my friends' kids, it isn't at all. I suppose it's similar to kissing. You can affectionately or endearingly kiss someone, but when you kiss your spouse/girlfriend it's more than that.

That said, I'm sure there are those out there who can't "turn it off" and well, they simply shouldn't be going around tickling children. Hopefully they have someone close that knows about their fetish who can keep them accountable in those situations, since most of us are pretty hush hush with out fetish.

 

[TickleMyFancy]

There's a huge difference (for me, and most other fetishists, I'm assuming) between me tickling my partner and me tickling my child. It just shouldn't be an issue.

It's like kissing or hugging your kids. There are obvious boundaries that shouldn't be crossed, but they're blatant and it shouldn't be an issue.

 

[Justboy]

I have been pondering this same question for a while now! Especially as I'm telling my girlfriend (whom I've been with a while now) more and more about both my foot and tickle fetish.

 

[Emishticklish]

Like everyone has said; There is a difference and boundaries.

 

[WorkInProgress]

I would just say this: if playful tickling arouses you, then you should not tickle your children. In any case, you should not tickle them at length, as I know some parents have loved to do. But if you are able to do it a little bit, playfully, without getting aroused, then it may be okay. In such matters it works best to err on the side of caution.

 

[tommytikl]

Actually, what I have noticed is that I am highly aware of tickling "going to far" with children. A child being "tortured" who will then hate the whole idea of tickling is what I am defending. Knowing that many ladies(people in general) hate tickling because of experiences as a kid.

 

[MaleTickleeDC]

If I ever have children, which is a big "if," I won't be tickling them. First, there's the reality that tickling is sexual to me, and it would just be too uncomfortable to try to "compartmentalize" different types of tickling. I figure why even try? It's not like the kids are going to benefit from being tickled by their parents.

And that goes to my second point. What if my kids inherit the tickle-fetish gene? I wouldn't want their memories of tickling to be of their parents tickling them. I'd want them to be able to enjoy tickling with their girlfriends and boyfriends when they start dating. And with their spouses thereafter. Can't really find a lot of good reasons to tickle any theoretical children that I may father at some point.

 

[Marquis De Sade]

Lucky for me I can separate playful tickling from sexual tickling. And, lucky for me I find anything sexual involving children utterly repulsive so. Yeah.

 

[robmic]

^^^What he said!

 

[Skipadeedoodah]

I get the separating playful tickling and sexual tickling and drawing boundaries and all that, but I think that I kind of get what the OP is saying and how it might be uncomfortable.

First of all, I don't have any kids, but through family there are other young kids around me, and I babysat quite a bit growing up, so I've had my fair share of kids close to me in my life.

I've never felt weird playfully and affectionately tickling a kid - but I'm not a ler. If any kid (or family member, for that matter...or almost any girl, really) tried to playfully tickle me, it always has really grossed me out, and I imagine it always will. If lering and leeing made me feel the same way, I probably would avoid tickling kids, too.

 

[MaleTickleeDC]

All the people who have triumphantly announced their ability to separate sexuality from tickling have yet to explain what would be the POINT of tickling their children. Why not just let the kids grow up to explore tickling with persons of their choosing instead of forcing it on them as a parent?

 

[Skipadeedoodah]

All the people who have triumphantly announced their ability to separate sexuality from tickling have yet to explain what would be the POINT of tickling their children. Why not just let the kids grow up to explore tickling with persons of their choosing instead of forcing it on them as a parent?

I'm not sure how basic you're trying to get, but the point of tickling, in general, is showing physical affection and bonding. Parents and other adults and older children start tickling kids when they're infants. You can't really bond with them yet. You can't make them feel good or happy in very many ways. Tickling is a chance to communicate to them that you want that for them before you can actually tell them. When they're older, it's just another way to communicate the same things.

Responding to your earlier post, I have a ton of memories of my dad tickling me. It doesn't weird me out or make me feel any type of negative way. I don't see the harm. Of course, I would never try to say that your decision to avoid tickling any kids you might have is wrong. I'm just saying that there is a social purpose, and I don't think that there's anything wrong with it in general.

 

[giggle-maker]

I'm gonna reverse it for just a second. My daughter is 10 and she tries to tickle me every now and then. Although I don't tell her why, I make her stop because it most definitley weirds me out being tickled by her. Her mother has said things to the effect of "daddy only lets me tickle him", but I won't go into details with her because I also don't want to kill her enjoyment of it should she want to explore this with a boyfriend later on.

 

[Tickleman100]

Thanks for the answers so far everyone!

 

[ali32]

Good question. I will be becoming a parent in about a month and have thought about this too. I don't see that there is any kind of problem however, because as a ler, I have playfully tickled the children of friends and family lots of times before, and its just not the same. It's not sexual in the least, and it doesn't satisfy my fetish in any way. It's probably very much an individual thing, but if it is weird in any way, don't do it.

And as for parents forcing it on their children - I don't believe that occasional playful tickling is forcing anything on anyone. It is a completely normal type of parent-child interaction, and some kids enjoy it more than others. You just need to use a bit of common sense and be guided by the child in question.

Just my 2 cents worth.

ali32

 

[Mane'o]

Touching another person whether it is a tickle or a hug or a kiss or a caress can be sexual or nonsexual. If an individual can't separate the two, then there will be problems in interactions with others, and in the case of this question, kids in particular. Then there is also the case with children, even if the tickle is nonsexual, of too much tickling by an adult of a child who is no physical match and that too can lead to problems. Both of these are viewed as inappropriate behavior by just about everyone and our laws and moral codes reflect that. Most people can separate the acceptable and unacceptable behaviors and stay in bounds. Having raised my own kids and with numerous nieces and nephews, I am not speaking from a hypothetical standpoint. And as with most things there is a wide spectrum of behavior here within those acceptable boundaries. There are families who are "touchy-feely" and families who rarely touch.

 

[rhiannon]

I've never felt weird playfully and affectionately tickling a kid - but I'm not a ler. If any kid (or family member, for that matter...or almost any girl, really) tried to playfully tickle me, it always has really grossed me out, and I imagine it always will. If lering and leeing made me feel the same way, I probably would avoid tickling kids, too.

This, completely.

All the people who have triumphantly announced their ability to separate sexuality from tickling have yet to explain what would be the POINT of tickling their children.

Uhm....well, what's the point of hugging and kissing their children?

 

[goddess_nemesis]

Tickling is a good way for people to bond: parent/child, friends, siblings, boyfriend/girlfriend. I've tickled my younger cousins, my friends' kids, and it's always been a silly thing to get them laughing, to have fun, and to show affection. I've never gone overboard; I certainly don't want to traumatize a kid by torturing him or her.

I can understand how someone with the fetish or the partner of someone with the fetish could find it weird. And if you do, then go with your instincts. And it should certainly be something the parents should discuss to see how the other feels.

 

[kcantankerous]

Note to all posters:

This is a valid topic that can be discussed within our rule structure.
That said, do not turn the thread into a 'There was this one time..' story telling thread. Keep focused on the the topic.

With respect to the OP, this is a difficult question for many in the community, given that tickling is sexual for many members, they are very mindful of who they interact with respect to it. For many it's a non-starter and the idea will simply offend. Some replies that you see will reflect that, and come from that place of strong emotion.

Myriads

I cannot touch this thread but I want to give a shout out to Myriads for the great post above.Tickleman100 this is a great topic, and I hope the responses have been civil and to the point. As I can separate the fun and sexual aspect and as TickleMyFancy pointed out it's just two separate things. Having said that if a friend or spouse/girlfriend new of my fetish, I would avoid tickling situations with the under aged when said person is around, especially if the said individual doesn't fully understand that there is a divided. Hope that makes sense.

Thanks
K

 

[FLBowler]

I can determine if it's gonna be sexual of not, I mean if you have ever read parenting books or any sociology books, tickling with your child has actually proven to be a bonding technique.

 

[DimpleToes]

Tickling a child is a no brainer for me, so innocent. IT is the same as a friendly tickle with a friend, there is no sexuality at all. Yes, tickling can be sensual but that is only with your partner. If one is not able to have the oppropriate thoughts or inteactions with children, then go with your basic instincts and don't do it.

 

[desperado_flare]

Stepping outside of the community for a moment, you have to realize that this is tickling we're talking about here. You aren't thinking about feeling a kid up, you aren't conflicted about wanting to have sex with a child, you're thinking about tickling them. I fail to see what the moral dilemma is.

Tickling is only sexual to me when you actually want to have sex with the person you're tickling. As long as you keep it to tickling and only tickling, there can't possibly be anything wrong with it.