Reactions to the fetish

[deadlywiffeathr]

Ok, so we're always speculating here about how people in our lives would react to us telling them about our fetish. But it got me wondering, how would WE react to someone (say a friend or lover) revealing a fetish of their own to us? Tickling or otherwise.

Do you think we'd have the same nervous/shocked reaction that most vanilla people have? Would it depend on what they were into? Do you think we'd be more accepting straight off the bat because we 'understand' them?

This is what a psych major does to my brain

 

[cue]

I would say it depends on the fetish. There are some freaky things out there. I know a friend of mine told me a couple weeks ago that she likes being spanked. Now to some that wouldn't bother them, or else they would have 'vanilla' reaction. But to me, I hear spanking and my mind instantly flips back to when I was in an abusive relationship. Obviously I know the two are very different things. But in my mind, hitting is hitting is hitting. When she told me that she liked being spanked, I told her I liked being tickled. She even admitted to liking it, too. My reaction was, "Really?"

 

[SadCuzNotTcklsh]

I think it all starts with their reaction to word fetish itself...

 

[theteam]

The thing is, whether someone is into something as simple as tickling or something more hardcore, the fact is they still have a fetish for something. I dont see why it would be weird or Id judge them for it, its just something that they enjoy and is a turn on for them. Just because it may not be something Id enjoy or like to do, doesnt make it wrong for them to enjoy it.

Having been on Fetlife for a number of years now and having been to many munches and play events, its quite interesting learning about all different kinks out there

 

[Amanda Cortez]

Well, I don't talk much about my sex life with my friends, but the few friends who know that I love getting tickled think that it's really cute. So I can say that the people tolerate it. Haha.
And for me counts the same. Almost everybody has a kinda fetish and I accept it. It doesn't mean that I like it, but it's cool for me. ^_^

 

[JoePTickle]

I've become a pretty open-minded person, so I think I'd be supportive of it. Whether that meant (in the case of a lover) partaking of it would be different, like cue said. Foot fetish, balloon fetish, etc... sure. Smoking, pain-oriented, etc., nah.

 

[Comfort Eagle]

It's usually more a case of not expecting certain people being into certain things for me. I've known people into bondage that I wasn't surprised to find out dug that, but have known other people end up being furries and being surprised.

 

[chicago]

Everyone has a different experience with this.

Personally, every vanilla person I have told about this interest has responded positively. Some might chalk that up to my being a female and a 'lee, believing that males are less close-minded when it comes to sex than females and also that it's easier to ask someone else to do the torturing versus put up with being tortured.

I've also dated people into all kinds of things like age play, flogging, etc. I have a few hard limits, but aside from those, I will usually try anything once or twice.

That said, responses also depend on how open-minded a person is. And your approach to bringing the subject up. I feel that if you bring up 'tickling' in a nervous, ashamed way that it will lead to the conversation being negative and awkward.

Alternately, I've found that people here are HIGHLY judgmental of other fetishes (aside from bondage and maybe a bit of BDSM) - even if that fetish involves two consenting adults. They are even judgmental of people that have the same fetish.

So, all in all, it's hard to really say if we as a community would be more likely to accept someone that was into something aside from tickling. I mean, the consensus on the idea of Fetlife in general from the members here is that it's kind of intimidating and intense because the people there are typically more kinky than the average member here.

 

[Redmage]

No problem at all here. Most of my friends are kinky. I wouldn't mind if it turned out that one more is.

 

[FeatherEndeavor]

I have a friend who recently told me that she's a furry. I really didn't expect that from her but I'm O.K. with it. I've even been to a few of her furry meets. Even if people don't look like someone that you think would be kinky you never know, they might be. I think as long as you accept the fact that anyone could be kinky it lessens the suprise if they tell you they are. Less of a suprise leads to a better reaction.

 

[daturaskiss]

I'd be excited to talk about kink and happy I might have one more person to discuss this sort of thing with...even if I didn't share their particular fetish. There might be a couple exceptions to that, and like Cue expressed, I have had abuse in the past that makes me triggered by certain things. I have found myself worried about a friend's safety, because I heard she was letting a male dom do some hardcore stuff. But I hope I didn't let that show, other than to let her know I am here if she needs me, and that I want her to be safe. The kink doesn't bother me, but I do get a little concerned if they aren't taking precautions. That would go for my own kinks as well.

 

[SadCuzNotTcklsh]

Am I the only one who think it's easier for females to come out with a fetish, than it is for guys?

 

[Redmage]

I suppose it depends on the fetish, but I haven't observed that myself. I've found that many women hesitate to come out because they're supposed to be "nice girls," and being kinky means they're "sluts."

 

[chicago]

I suppose it depends on the fetish, but I haven't observed that myself. I've found that many women hesitate to come out because they're supposed to be "nice girls," and being kinky means they're "sluts."

This.

Everyone thinks the grass is greener on the other side and whatnot, but, to play Devil's advocate a little, men are commonly viewed as the more sexual of the genders and thus being into various kinks may be more acceptable than women. #boyswillbeboys

(Just making a point. Not necessarily my personal opinion.)

 

[CaptainValiant]

Fetishes don't deserve a coming out moment, imo. Even a diaper fetish doesn't deserve it. I think you'd have better reception tossing a box of Huggies into your partner's lap and saying "let's try something", rather than asking them to sit down and have a taaaaalk. Don't be ashamed of anything, but don't wear it on your sleeve like an asshole either. (I remember someone a while back wanted to make t-shirts that said "I'm a ticklephile" or something.)

I'd be honored if someone revealed a dark secret to me. I love secrets!

 

[Mitchell]

It would depend.

The BDSM site I used to belong to.. which I believe has since closed, was very open to all kinds of fetishes.

I'm a very open person, as I'm sure that my foot, tickling, and seeing women stand barefoot on ladder "interests", are certainly "odd" to some.

I would have no problem with say, spanking, discipline, etc. That being said, I am definitely not into blood fetishes, or bathroom fetishes, as some in the BDSM world are. If that is what works for them, fine, but I find those a turn off.

I'd never judge anyone for whatever fetish they had. If it didn't appeal to me, my reaction would be as it usually is. "That's cool if you're into (Whatever), but such doesn't turn me on". Different strokes for different folks.

 

[GenericUsername]

Fetishes don't deserve a coming out moment, imo. Even a diaper fetish doesn't deserve it. I think you'd have better reception tossing a box of Huggies into your partner's lap and saying "let's try something", rather than asking them to sit down and have a taaaaalk. Don't be ashamed of anything, but don't wear it on your sleeve like an asshole either. (I remember someone a while back wanted to make t-shirts that said "I'm a ticklephile" or something.)

I'd be honored if someone revealed a dark secret to me. I love secrets!

You, sir, speak my language!

Fair enough, it's a big deal to a lot of people, and I both understand and respect that, but to run with the hypothetical of the OP, I would react a lot better if my partner just ran with it. If they sat me down to "have a talk" then I would prepare myself for something immensely bad, and that might risk souring my reaction first of all, but on the other hand it could also mean I'd have a reaction on the completely opposite end of the spectrum if the whole reveal was something anticlimactic like "I think I might like bondage."

Now I imagine there may be GOOD ways to sit down and talk about it too, but in the stereotypical scenario I instantly imagine, most people will be setting their partner up either to be anxious, or disappointed, and believe me, as bad as the "WTF?" reaction might be, you do NOT want the "is that it?" reaction. It might not sound it, but it gets equally underwhelming for you, and it gets especially bad if your partner thinks you chickened out at the last second and never revealed the ACTUAL fetish you're making a big deal out of... not, you know, that I'm speaking from experience, or anything...

 

[rhiannon]

If a friend revealed a fetish to me, I wouldn't give a crap because I wouldn't be involved in any way. Whatever floats their boat! If it was my partner, it depends what kind of fetish it was.

 

[Cavum]

I don't give a flying fuck what people think of me. If they don't like the fact that I'm a fetishist, it's not a person I want in my life anyway. I found out it's better to just get it over with and tell em
But again...places are different. Here in Norway people seem more open minded of things. There is of course a big group that thing I'm a sick freak etc, but they are people I'm not talking to anyway
After what I have read on the forum I see that people (from america for example) are more narrow minded when it comes to being "special". I dunno if this is because of religion or anything else.

But my opinion is: If you want this person to be a big part of your life (friend, girl/boyfriend...what ever), just tell em right away. What's the point of being "someone else" when you are with close ones?

 

[MistressMia]

These are very good questions, Deadlywiffeathr.

Before knowing about fetishes, I would have been a little shocked. However, not much shocks me now but more so intrigues me. Most things I'll accept, but some things I will not endorse such as blood play or anything that pierces the skin.

Even if the fetish is something I personally don't like or accept, I would still want to know "why" said person is "wired" that way and how they discovered that about themselves. As I said before, it's the intrigue.

 

[Bradhadair]

I am a kinkster myself. Tickling is a BIG kink for me, but not even close to my only kink. I am on fetlife and have moderated a Munch. So if people reveal kinks to me, I'm usually like, "Hey sweet." even if it's not my thing. It means we have one more thing in common; being kinky.