Recent thought - separating tickling from sex

[ticklehound]

Hello everyone.

So over the last few weeks, I've had this recurring thought that was unique to me. I was wondering if others had similar feelings.

For as long as I can remember, tickling has always associated with sexual arousal. However, lately, if I meet a woman, either at work or in public, I've had this thought, "Hmm, she's really cute. I'd like to tickle her really badly, but I wouldn't want to have sex with her." Now I do find these women physically and even emotionally attractive. Now they're not my ideal type, but still cute. Some are tall, short, thin/athletic, curvaceous, black/white/hispanic/south, east asian/etc. .

I still get aroused when I tickle or being tickled, and I still use tickling videos for self-pleasure. But it's kinda weird for me to have separated the two lately.

Has anyone ever felt like this?

 

[a7hgsir4h3jk]

Kind of, except I completely lack the sexual component! Whenever I develop a romantic crush, or if I like the look/personality of a guy, pretty much the only thing I want to do is tickle him senseless. I don't think I've ever felt sexually attracted to anyone, just... tickle-attracted? There needs to be a word for this, lol.

 

[knicks255]

I mean, I think it's fairly natural to be attracted to someone without that automatically meaning you want to have sex with them. Like, you can find somebody attractive and just think "Hey, I want to spend more time around you." and not "Let's bone IMMEDIATELY." So I think wanting to tickle someone can be on that scale as well, if you find it arousing, but not to the same degree as something like just straight up sex.

 

[duderino84]

Well, I guess I'll admit as well, I don't really think about penetration when I'm "liking" someone. ....I kind of just want to tickle, hear some laughing, let it have it's average physical effect (a hard-on) and hope somebody wants something to do with it later on.

Kind of a flaw, if you ask me, and I guess I'm the only one in my circle that gets it, because I've resigned from dating lately.

 

[Wolf]

Well, I guess I'll admit as well, I don't really think about penetration when I'm "liking" someone. ....I kind of just want to tickle, hear some laughing, let it have it's average physical effect (a hard-on) and hope somebody wants something to do with it later on.
Kind of a flaw, if you ask me, and I guess I'm the only one in my circle that gets it, because I've resigned from dating lately.

I wouldn't call it a flaw, but it's kind of difficult to have a physical relationship if you're not offering anything in return for your own jollies, you know?

 

[duderino84]

I wouldn't call it a flaw, but it's kind of difficult to have a physical relationship if you're not offering anything in return for your own jollies, you know?

Oh I get it. ....I try to offer other pleasures but the specific thing is I just don't "fuck."

I've tried to offer a good piece of myself but when I think about the whole ordeal of trial and error this song comes into my head

https://youtu.be/UyJPFjn-WNw

 

[FLTickling2013]

And just to add my two cents worth: while tickling and sexual attraction aren't identical, I do think there is a considerable amount of overlap.

 

[kcantankerous]

It is the overlap that makes it impossible for me to engage with my female friends. As opposed to pure fun, it is just inappropriate because of the arousal factor. Hence the line, "you just need to find that girl that shares your interests." Translation, find you a tickle obsessed girlfriend to get your rocks off with.

K

 

[Wolf]

It is the overlap that makes it impossible for me to engage with my female friends. As opposed to pure fun, it is just inappropriate because of the arousal factor. Hence the line, "you just need to find that girl that shares your interests." Translation, find you a tickle obsessed girlfriend to get your rocks off with. K

Why does she have to be obsessed? Can't she just like it?
Lots of girls like it.

 

[duderino84]

Why does she have to be obsessed? Can't she just like it?
Lots of girls like it.

uh lots of girls love attention, that doesn't really mean they love tickling. I mean, I've gotten my "short term" fixes with those kinds of relationships... They didn't really become long lasting great experiences. They were like "you know I'm doing this for you because I like you and I see potential in you, right?" relationships.

But then again I'm the goldmine of ticklefail. So.

 

[Wolf]

uh lots of girls love attention, that doesn't really mean they love tickling. I mean, I've gotten my "short term" fixes with those kinds of relationships... They didn't really become long lasting great experiences. They were like "you know I'm doing this for you because I like you and I see potential in you, right?" relationships.
But then again I'm the goldmine of ticklefail. So.

That's kind of a sad outlook, man.

 

[duderino84]

That's kind of a sad outlook, man.

But the truth is like the rain.

Maybe I'm selfish for seeking fulfillment. You never know.

 

[Wolf]

But the truth is like the rain.
Maybe I'm selfish for seeking fulfillment. You never know.

Not at all. I think it's the negative presumptions you're making that might be tripping you up.

 

[duderino84]

Not at all. I think it's the negative presumptions you're making that might be tripping you up.

To some degree. I'm going to have to figure out ways to deal with my anxiety as far as people go, yes. But the relationship crap, actually happened, and worse variations leading up to the crap with other people have happened. But you're not telling me that girls look forward to being tickled in everyday vanilla life. Most people avoid it like the plague, frenchtickling (and multiple producers off the top of my head) produces videos in which a lot of girls don't know if they actually dislike being tickled and come away hating it. There's being optimistic and then there's real. Yea, you can, if you play the game right, influence a woman to like being tickled. But 3/4 of the time, to them, it's just an affectionate torture.

 

[Wolf]

To some degree. I'm going to have to figure out ways to deal with my anxiety as far as people go, yes. But the relationship crap, actually happened, and worse variations leading up to the crap with other people have happened. But you're not telling me that girls look forward to being tickled in everyday vanilla life. Most people avoid it like the plague, frenchtickling (and multiple producers off the top of my head) produces videos in which a lot of girls don't know if they actually dislike being tickled and come away hating it. There's being optimistic and then there's real. Yea, you can, if you play the game right, influence a woman to like being tickled. But 3/4 of the time, to them, it's just an affectionate torture.

It's not about influencing someone to like something; that's equating people to dogs that can be conditioned.
So, if 75% of the woman think it's affectionate torture, what do the other 25% think?

 

[duderino84]

You don't think humans are animalistic anyhow? People are conditioned to factors in life. Tickling I would think is an acquired taste of sensation.

I'd imagine the remaining 25 find it pleasureable.

The point I was trying to make is this fetish is extreme for vanilla people who don't get side tracked by turnons and just have sex.

 

[Wolf]

You don't think humans are animalistic anyhow? People are conditioned to factors in life. Tickling I would think is an acquired taste of sensation.
I'd imagine the remaining 25 find it pleasureable.
The point I was trying to make is this fetish is extreme for vanilla people who don't get side tracked by turnons and just have sex.

25% isn't a bad percentage of the population, you know that, right?

 

[duderino84]

Depends on what population you're referring to. The country? County? The local bar? A percentage is only beneficial if you're working with a large enough population.

 

[Wolf]

Depends on what population you're referring to. The country? County? The local bar? A percentage is only beneficial if you're working with a large enough population.

Like, the population of New Jersey? I'm not being a smartass, but if you break it down, there's about 1.5 million women in NJ between 20-44.
Let's play it safe, and say half are unmarried. That's 750,000
Even safer, half are "in a relationship"--- That's 375,000
Let's say you're discerning....only ten percent of those are attractive to you. That's 37,500.
25%, by your reckoning, would find tickling pleasurable.... That's 9,375.

By your own estimation.....they're out there.

 

[duderino84]

Like, the population of New Jersey? I'm not being a smartass, but if you break it down, there's about 1.5 million women in NJ between 20-44.
Let's play it safe, and say half are unmarried. That's 750,000
Even safer, half are "in a relationship"--- That's 375,000
Let's say you're discerning....only ten percent of those are attractive to you. That's 37,500.
25%, by your reckoning, would find tickling pleasurable.... That's 9,375.

By your own estimation.....they're out there.

The population census per weekend claims we have around 9 million people in the state. I've spent most of my years in the north Central area of the state. ...results have been mediocre. Adventurous, sure, but probably not considered stellar.
Let's also factor in women that would find us equally as attractive. ....that's a combination of looks and hobbies. Then factor in people rebounding from failed relationships (like single moms, I'm trying to be polite about it).

So ya, I get that they're out there, but I'm working between people who are equally as picky as me, and then I have to figure out how to balance out with what I can only really sum up as the social impeding my fetishes/lack of quality relationship experience has caused.

It's just a mess.

 

[teamtickleguy]

Tickling and sex have always been separate arousals for me.

Yes, I have enhanced sex by way of introducing tickling...but I could never enhance tickling with the addition of sex.

Tickling will nearly always produce arousal in me, but the arousal is very different to the arousal I get when I have sexual intentions towards someone - for that to happen, I need to know someone a bit more and have developed a two-way chemistry with them and when I do, I usually crave a good old-fashioned passionate kiss before I even consider attempting a tickle, or indeed progressing to sex

Whereas with tickling, the arousal can be brought about by the idea (or action) of tickling a friend, partner, complete stranger, fictional character etc - basically, they just have to display some sort of characteristic that I find endearing (or in some cases repugnant) which then renders them tickleable - there is no requirement for me to be sexually attracted to that person - and because I am aware of all this, there is never any awkward misunderstanding between ler/lee that the act of tickling them (if things progress from the initial thought to the actual tickle) means that sex is expected to take place at a later date.

Smeg used the phrase 'tickle-attracted', which is spot on.

I look back on my Uni days and remember times in the pub sat around with the lads talking about the girls in our year - one of my friends might say "phwoar, that Mel is sooo fit, I'd like to bang her"..... well, I'd always be thinking "Mel's really nice, I'd sooooo tickle her"!


For me, when I'm a lee, the link between being tickled and sex is also a bit cloudy - the arousal will usually still be there when I'm tickled - which is why I sometimes fear being tickled by a ler who is not familiar with tickling as a fetish, or in vanilla terms, someone I do not wish to associate sexual arousal with.

If the ler is someone I do have sexual intentions towards, I don't mind so much, but it does have to be on my terms somewhat and often depends on what mood I'm in etc - rather like sex I suppose... if you're not in the mood, you're just not in the mood!

That all make sense?

Cheers
TTG

 

[kucheeku]

Hello everyone.

So over the last few weeks, I've had this recurring thought that was unique to me. I was wondering if others had similar feelings.

For as long as I can remember, tickling has always associated with sexual arousal. However, lately, if I meet a woman, either at work or in public, I've had this thought, "Hmm, she's really cute. I'd like to tickle her really badly, but I wouldn't want to have sex with her." Now I do find these women physically and even emotionally attractive. Now they're not my ideal type, but still cute. Some are tall, short, thin/athletic, curvaceous, black/white/hispanic/south, east asian/etc. .

I still get aroused when I tickle or being tickled, and I still use tickling videos for self-pleasure. But it's kinda weird for me to have separated the two lately.

Has anyone ever felt like this?

I have always felt like this and have no problem with it.

I'm openly gay and love m/m tickling. However, it doesn't mean that I have sex with every guy I tickle. I don't want to.

For me, tickling is an activity I can enjoy on its own. Despite the fact that overlap (as discussed in this thread) may be a factor, what you do with that overlap is key. Erections can occur during many things: cuddling, massages, hugging, kissing, even riding on a bus for some guys. It's going to be up to each individual guy as to what to do once the boner kicks in.

I prefer to tickle guys without the expectation that he's going to have an orgasm. It puts less demand on me for "performance" and more of a relaxed attitude towards concentrating on tickling.

Also, I've used casual tickling as a way to enhance the friendships of my male friends for whom I have no interest in sex whatsoever. I truly believe that males don't share physical compassion towards each other enough in this society. Casual tickling, I believe, helps with that.

Tickling with the intent of a more sexual outcome (which I refer to as tickling sessions) are more demanding of trust, negotiation, consent and agreed limits.

For me, understanding what's necessary for casual tickling and tickling sessions has helped me to separate the two and enjoy both on their own levels. Being able to process both is crucial to having male ticklees trust me and develop true friendships I like to nurture.

 

[kcantankerous]

I too see a separation between tickling and sex. I could look at a woman and say, "I would love to tickle her" without thinking about sex. In fact, as I go through my slow revealing process to close female friends I have discovered this phenomena more and more. My gymnast friend for decades posted a pick of herself down a complicated yoga maneuver. I have often thought about if and or where she might be ticklish at various junctures in us knowing each other. At one point, the thought dominated my mind so much that I decided to reveal my fetishes and ask her point blank. She answered in the affirmative for her belly and sides, but sadly not her feet.

The point is that in this situation, I was only interested in asking her from a tickle perspective. It wasn't for arousal purposes. She is in fantastic shape, and she has pretty feet. However, she is a happily married mother. Therefore, that may factor in to my non arousal - which I am perfectly fine with. My available friends, may be another story. I can't determine whether or not I would eventually get aroused by tickling the ones I find attractive. I am assuming I would not, but I am tickle starved at present.

If an attractive woman tickles me though, it will lead to my arousal even though I am only slightly ticklish.

K