This is a subject I’ve been contemplating a bit recently. Some people have fetishes (or, if you dislike the word, substitute kinks, interests, etc.) that manifest themselves largely or primarily in regards to themselves. Corsets, rubber, and leather would be obvious ones.
I personally have sometimes said I have a clothes fetish, but I think it’s more accurate to call it an appearance fetish, because it extends beyond clothing to include make-up at times. And it’s pretty much entirely directed towards myself. Whenever I go to kink clubs, I don’t have any specific style I stick with. I go from shirt and tie, to vintage (meaning anything from 1950s to Victorian), to goth, to glam rock, to more typical fetish wear. Sometimes I use make-up to consciously mess with androgyny, other times I wear none (typically I just put on a little eyeliner and nothing else). I’m sure at least some of this is a product of the fact that I cut my teeth in kink clubs and not private dungeons, and there was always a bigger emphasis on fashion, and also some of it was absorbed by osmosis from one of the individuals who helped with my BDSM education who’s got a similar interest. And I’m not really sure it’s even accurate to call it a fetish per se, as it’s not that doing this gets my rocks off or turns me on. But it does amuse me a great deal, as if I’m sharing some inside joke with myself and nobody else, if that makes sense.
This isn’t something I fully understand, and I may never, but I’d like to cast the net out a bit more. I guess my question is what drives this sort of thing in those who have it (whatever your kink may be)? Does anyone out there have a kink that’s primarily (or entirely) self-directed? Is it just simple egotism, or something deeper? Does it even matter what drives it?
I personally have sometimes said I have a clothes fetish, but I think it’s more accurate to call it an appearance fetish, because it extends beyond clothing to include make-up at times. And it’s pretty much entirely directed towards myself. Whenever I go to kink clubs, I don’t have any specific style I stick with. I go from shirt and tie, to vintage (meaning anything from 1950s to Victorian), to goth, to glam rock, to more typical fetish wear. Sometimes I use make-up to consciously mess with androgyny, other times I wear none (typically I just put on a little eyeliner and nothing else). I’m sure at least some of this is a product of the fact that I cut my teeth in kink clubs and not private dungeons, and there was always a bigger emphasis on fashion, and also some of it was absorbed by osmosis from one of the individuals who helped with my BDSM education who’s got a similar interest. And I’m not really sure it’s even accurate to call it a fetish per se, as it’s not that doing this gets my rocks off or turns me on. But it does amuse me a great deal, as if I’m sharing some inside joke with myself and nobody else, if that makes sense.
This isn’t something I fully understand, and I may never, but I’d like to cast the net out a bit more. I guess my question is what drives this sort of thing in those who have it (whatever your kink may be)? Does anyone out there have a kink that’s primarily (or entirely) self-directed? Is it just simple egotism, or something deeper? Does it even matter what drives it?
