Sick of all those email surveys

[maverick83]

I am tired of getting email surveys and messages that tell me to forward it to so many people for luck and so on...I came up with this one...

The Anti-Survey

Hello, I am a preppy bitch, and feel the need to pry into your personal life. If you have no life and nothing to do, please fill it out and I will share it with my preppy bitch friends. We will laugh at your answers and call you stupid names.

What day is it now?
What time is it?
Why does it matter?
What is the square root of 1024?
Boxers or briefs?
Paper or plastic?
What is the meaning of life?
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
How many stupid surveys have you repsonded to in the last two months?

Have you ever:
Masturbated?
Milked a cow?
Drank from an open sewer?
Been so drunk you weren’t sober?
Accomplished a goal and realized how far it set you back?
Been abducted by aliens?
Been abducted by illegal aliens?
Danced naked?
Fit an entire banana into your mouth? If yes, what is your phone number?
Gotten an STD while you were asleep?

Are you annoyed yet?
Can you see me at your window, looking at you with my binoculars?
Are you naked?
Am I naked?
Who is naked?
Where are you right now?
Where am I?
If I were to kill you right now, would anyone hear you scream?

Are you afraid of:
Bunny Rabbits?
Kittens?
Ghosts?
Zombies?
Al Gore?
That FBI warning at the beginning of a movie?


Favorites:
Porno movie:
Place to stash dead bodies:
Place to burn evidence:
Drug Dealer:
Drug:
STD:

What time is it now?
Do you really care how long this survey took you?
Do you think anyone else will care?
Is this a contest?
How many questions am I still going to ask you?
Why is water wet?
How many years are there in forever?
Where did I put the TV remote?

Now make a wish. Write it on a small piece of paper. Forward this to as many people as you can. If you send it to…

10 people…your wish will not come true

20 people…you will waste a lot of time for 20 people, and your wish will still not come true

100 people…Congradulations. You’ve sent it to enough people. Now take the paper with your wish on it. Fold it up, really small, and stick it up your ass. Do I look like a genie to you?

 

[TicklingDuo]

EXCELLENT!!!

That is SO good, Mav! I HATE those stupid things! The worst (IMHO)are when they tell you that sending a novena prayer to a certain number of people with get your "wish" granted. The Church never has and never will teach that prayer is magic (which is what that advocates). I don't know where these people come up with this stuff!

Ann

 

[Daumantas]

Listen, I don't like where this is going...don't you DARE interfere with my thriving online penis-enlargement business.

 

[duo_maxwell]

since Maverick doesn't feel like answering these anymore...

...I'll answer this one for him

The Anti-Survey

Hello, I am a preppy bitch, and feel the need to pry into your personal life. If you have no life and nothing to do, please fill it out and I will share it with my preppy bitch friends. We will laugh at your answers and call you stupid names.

What day is it now?
Friday, I think

What time is it?
daytime

Why does it matter?
well, you wouldn't have asked about it if it didn't...would you?

What is the square root of 1024?
32.....for some reason, I knew that off the top of my head...don't ask me how

Boxers or briefs?
whichever isn't in the hamper(being clean isn't necessarily a factor)

Paper or plastic?
umm...paper...no wait...plastic...then again...I better come back to this one later

What is the meaning of life?
hey...one of my high school teachers actually put that question on a test?

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
However much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood

How many stupid surveys have you repsonded to in the last two months?
obviously not enough to learn my lesson...

Have you ever:

Masturbated?
well, umm.........*looks around*....maybe

Milked a cow?
nah...I'd be afraid that I'd be pulling the wrong thing...

Drank from an open sewer?
sort of...but how was I to know that somehow the pipes from the bathroom at school somehow got croossed with the piipes to the water fountain?

Been so drunk you weren’t sober?
I don't think so...but I'm forgetful when I drink

Accomplished a goal and realized how far it set you back?
nope...accomplishing things isn't very high on my list of things to accomplish...

Been abducted by aliens?
perhaps...that would explain what I'm doing here on this strange planet...

Been abducted by illegal aliens?
aliens are illegal?.....oh well..you'd never rat e out, would you?

Danced naked?
...hold on, give a sec....ok, now I have

Fit an entire banana into your mouth? If yes, what is your phone number?
I would never try...eating bananas attract mosquitos, which are a real problem where I live(bet you didn't expect to read an actual fact in this post, now did you?)

Gotten an STD while you were asleep?
no, but if I did, I'd have alot to say to skank in my dreams who gave it to me(who the hell were you with when I was awake, tramp?)

Are you annoyed yet?
as a matter of fact, I'm rather enjoying this...

Can you see me at your window, looking at you with my binoculars?
I think so...but are you the one in that house next door, or the guy hiding in the tree?

Are you naked?
he he....you tell me...

Am I naked?
well..the guy in the tree is...is that one you?

Who is naked?
wait....now I'm confused...

Where are you right now?
here

Where am I?
there

If I were to kill you right now, would anyone hear you scream?
I suppose it depends on how you kill me, now doesn't it?

Are you afraid of:

Bunny Rabbits?
only one: the Easter Bunny! (a rabbit who lays eggs.....*shudders*)

Kittens?
only if you know a kitten that lays eggs...

Ghosts?
only if it's the ghost of someone I've killed...:evilha

Zombies?
uh...zombies eat brains...so why would I be afraid of them? duh

Al Gore?
don't be silly...robots are our friends...

That FBI warning at the beginning of a movie?
I fear no authority.....except when I'm driving a nice car at night in the "wrong neighborhood" without a freind who owns a video camera...

Favorites:

Porno movie:
I'd tell you, but it was a bootleg, and the title was too scrambled for me to read...

Place to stash dead bodies:
if I tell you, I'd end up stashing you there:

Place to burn evidence:
in the kitchen....in there, burning things is my speciality.....

Drug Dealer:
drug dealer...why would I know a drug dealer...I get high on life....

Drug:
I don't need drugs...I get high on life...now where have I heard that before.....

STD:
whichever ones I don't have

What time is it now?
still daytime...time flys when you're having fun...I

Do you really care how long this survey took you?
only if this survey is a waste of time...you wouldn't send me a waste of time, would you?

Do you think anyone else will care?
*snickers* of course..*heh heh*..everyone knows how "important" this survey is....*Bwa hah ha hah*

Is this a contest?
If I say yes, do I win?

How many questions am I still going to ask you?
uhh...by my count, three

Why is water wet?
cause it must be too hot for it to be solid, but too cold for it too be gas

How many years are there in forever?
I'm not sure...let me count ...1...2...3...4...5...hmmm...this may take awhile....I'll email this answer to you when I finish...

Where did I put the TV remote?
you mean you had it last? no wonder I couldn't find the darn thing...



P.S. 50 posts!! A novice at last........