Tickling a friend

[TicklishRocker]

Hey everybody. So I'm going to be spending some time with a good friend later this week and a couple days ago I found out that her feet are ticklish. My dilemma: I would kinda like to tickler her feet somehow while we're together this Friday..but I don't want her to start thinking I'm really weird or something..any thoughts??

 

[TicklesFemales]

My first question is how did you find out that she had ticklish feet? If she told you then maybe she wants you to tickle them. In any case I wish you luck my friend. Let us know how it turns out.

 

[TicklishRocker]

Well I kind weaseled my way into finding that out.. I asked her but told her it was someone else that wanted to know (and that it was the only reason I was asking)

 

[Studious_Hustler]

My advice is don't push it, because if you're patient then the perfect opportunity will come around.

 

[voided9]

Make it as casual as possible, don't be creepy, and keep it fun. It kind of depends on how close you are with her and how comfortable she is with you. Tickling is REALLY common in flirting so as long as you don't do it too much she probably won't think twice about it. =]

 

[WorkInProgress]

Do only what feels natural and right, and don't restrain her feet to tickle them. If a woman doesn't actually tell you that she likes to be tickled and invite you to tickle her, you can't safely do the kind of tickling that actually goes on for any real period of time.

 

[rhiannon]

Don't push it and don't be creepy and sneaky about it. Kinda like the question if her feet were ticklish and that someone else wanted to know. That was awkward! Do not force a situation to happen.

 

[TicklesFemales]

Yes don't force it, but a playful tickle if the opportunity presents itself for maybe a second or two would be okay. Just see how she responds. But tying her up and tickling her at this point is out of the question. Unless she brings it up. Just take it slow and easy.

 

[jc10113]

This what I do with flirtatious female friends. When it's just us alone I play truth or dare. I know what you're all thinking, "You dare her to let you tickle her feet." That is a negative my friends. Most of the time people pick truth until they're comfortable with you to choose a dare. So for truth you ask them, what is one "weird" aspect about themselves. Most likely when it's your turn for a truth they will ask you the same question. All you tell her is that you have a fetish and nothing else. This gets them intrigued because 9 times out of ten they really want to know. All you tell them is that it's nothing really out there and people think it's cute. Then you leave the subject alone because I guarantee they'll bring it up again. That's when you inform her that the only people who know are the ones that I play with. They'll ask you if it's safe and not anything which would hurt them. You inform them it's safe and it doesn't hurt, which it normally doesn't, and she'll most likely agree to play.

Hope you have a fun time with your friend regardless of the fact though. Don't make it all about tickling and let things come natural.

 

[Hypnoticklish]

Don't mean to sound rude, but if you don't know how to do it smoothly, you probably shouldn't go for it unless you're satisfied with something brief in a candid situation that requires no set up from you. If she's lying on the couch barefoot or something, give the sole a quick stroke, and she won't discover some big secret or anything. However, you're probably not going to get anything prolonged or exciting. A quick twitch maybe. If there was a way you could hold someone down and tickle them and they'd be okay with it, you would've gotten the manual the day you signed up here.

 

[ShinyFurret]

I'll echo the two most important sentiments mentioned in this thread:

- Don't make it a big deal
- Don't try to tickle for much more than a few seconds (unless of course she tells you to!)

If you're not confident that you can pull this off "innocently", then you're probably better off not trying. In that case, maybe test the water with some other "flirty" activities that you're not so awkward about so you don't have the same pressures on your mind about her identifying a fetish. As for the tickling, well, it needs to seem fun and casual, so, for example, if you sit on the sofa and she decides to lie across it, with her feet near to you (or in your lap, I guess, but that might be a side effect of reading too much fiction) then you could get in a quick tickle, but after a few seconds, you'll need to let go before it crosses into awkward territory.

In my experience, a good way to get into this is to be "annoying" in a fun way, although this possibly doesn't work all that well for guys. A bit of teasing, some flirty prodding and poking and then you might be able to get into a bit of rib tickling if you're lucky. I'd say that, generally speaking, the only "safe" places are the ribs and feet, anywhere else (underarms, thighs etc.) is going a bit beyond casual and can automatically seem a little too weird. Either way, good luck!

 

[Wesker28]

Why is it so hard for some people? Just casually tickle the girl by provoking her to poke you, and judge how she reacts. She will either giggle or she'll say stop it! It is not rocket science but as for asking if she is ticklish and then saying someone else wanted to know?! Women are very inquistive creatures she will probably be wondering who would ask such a thing.

 

[jc10113]

Why not just tell her about the fetish? No one should be afraid of their friends finding out. Your fetish isn't a dirty secret, it's who you are. If your friend is freaked out by it then guess what, find a friend who wouldn't be. A vast majority of my female friends know about my fetish because it's who I am. Granted I'm not going around tickling all of them either because I like to keep my tickling in the bedroom, but they don't judge me for it nor do they make me feel alienated when we playfully tickle. It seems like you enjoy her company in a more than friends way so don't be afraid. I'm not saying that you're a coward, because I used to think I was different because of my fetish until I came to the realization that I don't care what people think. I can always make a new friend or get a different girlfriend. It's time for us to stop hiding in the shadows and be with everyone else because they are no different than us.

 

[shiftdown]

JC i simply could not agree with you more, i hope to read about the response about, how it broke * down * soon

 

[TicklishRocker]

Wow jc, I think that was the best paragraph I've read in a long time. You certainly have a great point, why should we have to feel/act like we're different than everybody else just because of a fetish? For one, there are plenty of worse fetishes out there than ours. Also, I Think everybody has a fetish of some kind whether they wanna admit it or not. I'm not sure I've quite come to terms with myself as a fetishist yet. I'm so afraid of losing friends over them thinking I'm super weird or something because of my fetish. I guess in reality though, any real friend would accept you for who you are fetish or not. If someone wants to quit being my friend or a girlfriend wants to leave me over a fetish, I guess they weren't a real friend to begin with. Thanks jc.

 

[rhiannon]

The thing is, if you want to tickle a friend that is nothing but a friend, you better avoid the word "fetish", because they more than likely will make sure you don't touch them that way then. Better say you "like" doing it! If you aren't interested in actually tickling that friend, then it really doesn't matter.

 

[jc10113]

The thing is, if you want to tickle a friend that is nothing but a friend, you better avoid the word "fetish", because they more than likely will make sure you don't touch them that way then. Better say you "like" doing it! If you aren't interested in actually tickling that friend, then it really doesn't matter.

I would highly disagree with you because tonight I was with a friend and I told her about my fetish for the first time. I used the word "fetish" and she wasn't appalled at all. I explained to her the dynamics behind it and she completely understood. After the explanation I grabbed her shoes, took them off, including her socks and tickled her feet. The only thing she responded with was, "If you tickle me there any longer it won't tickle anymore. Maybe you should tickle somewhere else." This is living proof that if you are honest from the beginning then you would have nothing to be worried about down the line. We should be liberated from the views of normality because it's nothing more than a social construct which we reinforce by staying in the shadows.

 

[rhiannon]

Then you were lucky and it is a sign that your friend is into you for more than just friendship.

 

[deadlywiffeathr]

1. Don't take Jc's advice. You cant just cut people out of your life because they are taken aback by your fetish.
2. Play hard to get. If you make her want to tickle you, the chances of you tickling her in return will sky rocket.
3. Enjoy her company! If you spend the whole day thinking about how you're going to tickle her feet, or how much you want to tickle her you'll end up wasting both her time and your's. Lay the groundwork first. In reality it may take you half a dozen hang outs for her to be comfortable enought to let you tickle her, even for a few seconds.

You just gotta be patient man. But good luck!

 

[jc10113]

1. Don't take Jc's advice. You cant just cut people out of your life because they are taken aback by your fetish.
2. Play hard to get. If you make her want to tickle you, the chances of you tickling her in return will sky rocket.
3. Enjoy her company! If you spend the whole day thinking about how you're going to tickle her feet, or how much you want to tickle her you'll end up wasting both her time and your's. Lay the groundwork first. In reality it may take you half a dozen hang outs for her to be comfortable enought to let you tickle her, even for a few seconds.

You just gotta be patient man. But good luck!

1. Why would you want a friend who looks down upon you because what you enjoy isn't part of the "norm"?
2. Playing games leads to nowhere fast, besides tricking your friend into your fetish is morally wrong.
3. Your friend isn't a conquest, I truly hope you don't treat the friendship as such.
4. My advice is sound but you may do what you want with it. I hope you have a flourishing friendship with her.

 

[voided9]

Oh man... I see where this is going.

 

[C.A.B.]

Oh man... I see where this is going.

*pull chair up next to Brandi

 

[jc10113]

I think there's a lot of idealism being spouted here. Tickling isn't my only kink (it's only my latest haha) but I've learned in the past that whilst the very best of friends will accept unusual traits, otherwise "good" friends won't, and I don't think it's fair to assume that someone will. There are plenty of people that I consider to be friends because I work/worked with them, and we hang out together, but I wouldn't tell them my secrets, nor would I expect them to tell me theirs.

If you can afford to throw away anyone that isn't a "close" friend, then fine, but for me, I'd rather not tell everyone and anyone about my kinks because it makes my life a lot easier, and I like some of those people. I may not entirely trust them, but they're fun to spend time with.

However, I do agree entirely that "tricking" someone into indulging your fetish is a horribly bad idea. Arguably, it's worse if they enjoy it, because then there might come a time when the subject comes up again, and you could be forced to admit that you deceived them into it. I've no idea what that's like, but I can't imagine it goes too well. However, a little playful teasing/tickling isn't in the same boat as tricking them into a full-blown session, and for me, as someone that's only developed a tickling kink since the start of the year, I would have freely prodded, poked and tickled people until the cows came home last year if the mood took me because I wasn't so self-conscious about it.

Having a kink doesn't make you a freak, but obsessing over it and creeping about it does. Much like how there's a line between being "confident" and being "arrogant" about how good you are at something, where it's open to your own actions, and the interpretation of those actions by other people. It's not something to be ashamed of (and certainly not something you need to be "cured" of) but it's something that you need to be careful with, because other people aren't always tolerant. Even on kink sites, people aren't very tolerant of fetishes that they don't share, so sitting someone down and saying "I have a tickling fetish and would like to tickle you" can be pretty intimidating for the other person. Of course, it can work, but it does seem like jumping in right at the deepest end possible, and you're much better off building up to it instead.

I agree with many of the points which you've shed light upon, yet there is a key issue about your fetish as a "secret" which is bothersome. My reasoning behind this will touch on one aspect, I shouldn't have to hide the fact that I have a fetish. Now I don't go around telling every individual I meet but if a conversation about fetish comes into play I would gladly talk about my fetish, regardless if I'm in the presence of strangers or close friends. The fact that so many of us feel the need to bury our fetish in the closet is an atrocity because we as a society condone our own persecution by not speaking up. What if we are the norm without even realizing it? Fear mongering and indoctrinations into a preconceived cast system is what is preventing us from feeling "normal". I will step off my soapbox now. I actually truly enjoy delving into the sociological and psychological aspects on our own thought process behind our actions as a community. I love you all =D

 

[rhiannon]

I shouldn't have to hide the fact that I have a fetish

Why would you go around telling people who you don't want to have a sexual relationship with about your fetish? IMHO, it's TMI what floats my friends' boats. I really don't care, and am pretty sure they don't care about my likes and dislikes in the sleeping room as well. I don't really understand why people here often seem to feel the need that they have to spill the beans to just about everybody who knows their birthdate!

 

[jc10113]

Why would you go around telling people who you don't want to have a sexual relationship with about your fetish? IMHO, it's TMI what floats my friends' boats. I really don't care, and am pretty sure they don't care about my likes and dislikes in the sleeping room as well. I don't really understand why people here often seem to feel the need that they have to spill the beans to just about everybody who knows their birthdate!

Do you enjoy taking quotes out of context to make a point, or is it the sole fact that you want to be heard? You're assuming that it's a regular occurrence in my case. You're assuming I "spill the beans" for the sake of doing so. How about you read all the posts I've made and don't be an ass. I don't understand why you even care in this instance. Why are you concerned with what I do with my friends? Who are you to presume their thought process with regards to what I tell them? Who are you to assume what my friendship with them is actually like? You aren't in any position to do so. Yet you take that privilege regardless. I guarantee you'd care about your friend's "likes" and "dislikes" in the bedroom if they were your sexual preference, attractive, and asked you to tickle them. I bet you'd read a whole book on those subjects.