Tickling - fetish versus fixation

[areenactor]

i think my comment called for!

no fyi i was never molested as a kid or anytime in my life. and that was definitely uncalled for. im only asking perhaps we can do something that does not arouse suspicion that tickling is some sort of perversion (even if you guys think it is) and an example of that is when using the term "phile" in "ticklephile" it could be like the impression to someone oh he's a pedophile or something crazy shit like that.

hey i know to you guys this is porn but im asking where is the main subject? This is the "Tickling" Media Forum. wheres the tickling? WTF? even though you can just simply ignore all the nudity and whatnot but its kind of hard to ignore the main interest is going away which is Tickling! in fact to me its very hard to see that you see porn and virtually little to no tickling or the tickling looks like some rape or rubbish. go by someone and scratch them. thats not tickling. i dont mind the porn but i do mind that it seems that tickling which the forum is named after is not treated like if it were the main subject. instead it seemed to be treated as a feature and oh yeah "additional bonus".

you keep refering to pedophiles!
what's your problem?!?! tickphile is someone who likes tickling! you are one!
you keep trying to label us perverts, we're not! we are people who enjoy the grown up veriety of tickling.
deal with it, or go home!

 

[GuldenVleugel]

To me tickling surely is a sexual act, but I AM able to enjoy sex without it. Whenever I practice tickling on a girl, she never gets to hear I'm a fetishist. I rather tell her details how I love her reaction and such, without literally calling it something "scary" as a fetish. The meaning of the word "fetish" is after all, object of whorship. I CAN'T however, hold out with a girl who hates tickling.
I'm just a ticklelover and that gets a more positive reaction. Just like I find a particular girl's feet gorgious. You can make it clear without saying you have that fetish.

It's also an unromantic thing to be too literal. Use body language and you'll get further.

You won't see me typing things like: "I would love to lick her soles" or "I would mercilesly want to tickle this celebrity" too often. Just because on other forums pictures of hot babes neither get such reactions. That makes us collectively seem like hopeless perverts. Unless I'm in a very arroused state and the girl in question IS in the porn business. I don't mind being that perv.

P.S.: I prefer knismolagnia over ticklephilia in a term.

 

[GuldenVleugel]

What also disturbs me greatly of people on tickling forums is the voyeuristic habit of sending pictures of myspace feet. That already has received a negative reaction from our Papi and Meka, and I guess that tendency luckily is no more.

People like FootPatrol, who clearly have a voyeurism fetish, also leave me with double feelings. I have reacted positively on one of his threads, so I won't attack him.

 

[The Last Laugh]

People like FootPatrol, who clearly have a voyeurism fetish, also leave me with double feelings.

I understand what you mean. I do think the guy has a lot of guts. But at the same time, I have to wonder about the ethics of his activities. He doesn't get the women's permission to film them most of the time. In fact, according to him, several don't notice him at all, and some are rather pissed when they do notice what he's doing.

It that were all there was to it, if he did it only for himself, well, it would still be iffy, but it wouldn't be the end of the world. But the fact is that he distributes the material on fetish forums. Not only that, he actually sells it. It's quite obviously illegal. And frankly, I think it's just plain wrong.

You absolutely need the model's explicit permission to do what you intend to do with such material (ideally in writing), and you need it before you film. He should not only ask them if he can film their feet, but also specify what he intends to do with the footage, including the commercial aspect. If they're willing after he's been perfectly clear about his intentions (which would seriously surprise me if he doesn't pay them), then it's ok.

While he's not one of the worst example of a person doing inappropriate things because of his "fetish", he's also far from a positive example. If more people realized what he was doing, he'd really be giving us a bad image.

I know that many people on the MousePad and the main tickling forums are big fans of his. And that's somewhat understandable. I have to admit that his work is impressive. It's just that I don't think what he does is right, or even legal.

 

[dvnc]

Wow. That this has yet to turn into a fight is pretty remarkable.

Some observations:

1) Tickling IS a paraphilia here for many.
- For some, it's ONLY a paraphilia. Only sexual. Can't be otherwise.
- For the rest, it's like kissing. You kiss mom differently than your lover, your friend, etc. In THAT case, yes, tickling is just a playful act for some situations.
- Most sexual deviancies are lumped into the "fetish" category. BDSM, which can be done ENTIRELY without objects beyond rope, isn't a fetish in the truest sense. Fetish requires objects on which to focus, like feet, objects of clothing, etc. It's an old discussion. We call it a fetish like people call BDSM a fetish. Sado-masochism needs no object. We deal with it, 'cause it's not changing anytime soon.

2) You'll find a few folks here who ARE only fascinated by tickling. I say "only" because it's the rare exception of folks visiting a board with obvious sexual content.

3) There's absolutely nothing casual or funny about pedophilia. Please drop that. I know too many here who suffered such, and they deserve respect, and to have their interest separated from that destructive tendency.

4) Some people HATE being tickled. Polar opposite end of the people here. No matter HOW well you introduce it, it's not welcome. Still doesn't hurt to approach the concept with some initial sensitivity (some folks don't want sensitivity, either, after all).

5) According to the volume of downloads from the site from folks who DON'T participate in discussions, there are people here who ARE visiting, at least initially, because of the sexual gratification they receive from the videos, stories, and/or interactions between people. There are diverse reasons for attendance. Some just want to belong, and feel they fit here. Good on 'em!

6) It seems that the thread was started so as to suggest "normalizing" this interest. In THAT sense, it's not a bad notion to call tickling "an interest". "Our interest" becomes like "Cosa Nostra". Our thing. It's true, too.

It's an interest for all here, else they'd be somewhere else, then. People hit this at various stages of development, personally. Some get here at 50 or later (met some of these back before TMF was Psycho4048's baby). It's GOING to be different for everyone, to greater or lesser degrees.

Referring to the interest as an interest will catch on, more and more, like Max's 'lee and 'ler. Makes it discussable in public.

My $0.02. Now play nicely and please lose the pedophilia discussion, alright?
Thanks.

 

[The Last Laugh]

There's absolutely nothing casual or funny about pedophilia. Please drop that. I know too many here who suffered such, and they deserve respect, and to have their interest separated from that destructive tendency.

Who said it's funny? Some of us as just a little annoyed that the original poster is making some kind of link between ticklephilia and pedophilia, if only by name. It's a ridiculous notion, and frankly, I find it very insulting.

 

[dvnc]

That's the point, Francois.

As many parents have said to their kids, "If he jumped off a bridge, would you?"

I am guessing that the use of the suffix "phile" caused the problem for that poster. I'm also going to suppose that, regardless of one poster's personal fears/concerns/beliefs/whatever, there's not a positive result FOR THIS FORUM in using such discussions and/or comparisons.

It was a colloquialism indicating that associating those terms is not only not accurate for this forum, but is not going to get us any positive results from viewers. We're NOT associating with anyone even looking at underaged folk in any fashion here, well beyond the normal limits, SPECIFICALLY to avoid this.

Clearer? Good.

 

[drew70]

vsa7a brings up a valid point...

...and one that's been discussed before, more or less. I'm in total agreement with the opening post (except for the ticklephile part). Unfortunately there are too many people who can't or won't differentiate tickling from sex. And then there are even those who refuse to even discuss tickling without dragging us through the sticky gooey details of every orgasm, whether or not tickling played a part.

Don't get me wrong, the best sex I have and have had usually involves tickling, but I try to show a little more consideration than to subject people to the messy details of the bodily functions involved. I know I have no interest in reading such accounts any more than I'd want to hear in detail about somebody's bowel movement, which would show about as much class.

 

[GuldenVleugel]

The sound symbolism of the word ticklephilia is just ugly, I find. It's not the same as francophilia, which sounds neutral. I have no explanation for it other than that is sounds ugly. Acarophilia of Knismolagnia sound less ugly, but the compound of an English word (to tickle) and a Greek one (philein, to love), doesn't mix that well.

 

[dvnc]

This is why many of us use "the interest" and talk about "great play" in an "event" or "gathering" and how one "'ler" had this "'lee" really going...

Saying such in public won't even have an effect on the unfamiliar. You can spot one of US in a heartbeat there, though.

Picture that discussion versus this:
"I had no idea that the tickling fetish was so big. Those tickling play parties are a blast, and that guy tickling that lady had her laughing so hard..."

You'd have a LOT more attention in that discussion.

So long as this discussion remains civil and avoids errantly characterizing this forum as having ANYTHING to do with unpleasant illegalities, it's all good.

 

[areenactor]

you're using the wrong ending

The sound symbolism of the word ticklephilia is just ugly, I find. It's not the same as francophilia, which sounds neutral. I have no explanation for it other than that is sounds ugly. Acarophilia of Knismolagnia sound less ugly, but the compound of an English word (to tickle) and a Greek one (philein, to love), doesn't mix that well.

the correct ending is "phile" not "philia" . big difference.
phile DOES roll off the tongue.
drew, i agree to a large degree with you about the sharing of intimate details. i also acknowledge that i have done it in the past, but will try to refrain in the future.
dvnc, i am one of those on here that was molested as a child, that is why i was trying to make excuses for the original poster, and to try to distance the two terms.

steve

 

[TimToes38]

I agree.. tickling and great sex

Why do I get the feeling in this board that so many people here are ashamed of their own sexuality?

I sincerely can not recall making love to a woman without including her feet and/or tickling in some way... maybe i have dated the "right" girls but i have always stroked a girls feet while having sex, or ran my fingers over her sides; and as a finale i love to toe suck and this always gets a great moan or arching of her back; strangely my last G/f liked me to rub and tickle her feet as she made love to me on top, but giggled and said "that tickles" when i put her toes in my mouth, or nibbled her feet.

Apparently my fingers on her feet were ok, not my tongue. In fact, concerning the same girl, one chilly night last winter we went to bed and she still had sox on... as foreplay this time, I began to stroke her foot as i kissed her all over, and she immediately pulled off the sock of the foot i was stroking, apparently wanting the ticklish sensation on her sole... that alone was incredibly sexy to me. She likes her feet tickled!

Yes, she knew what I liked... but she never tickled me... in bed.

tim

 

[dvnc]

dvnc, i am one of those on here that was molested as a child, that is why i was trying to make excuses for the original poster, and to try to distance the two terms.
steve

Fair to state, and thank you for the bold honestly, Steve.

Were it not a legally clowned situation to invoke upon the forum in general, you KNOW I enjoy an intelligent debate, whether or not I agree. I just don't want the inevitable mess to do the inevitable explosion. That particular aspect not only sucks mightily to those who suffer it, and challenges those of us who have the brains to back our friends who suffered, but it really can damage the forum.

Clowned that something can keep hurting, and hurt so pervasively in so many ways.

Them terms are different. Enjoyin' ticklin' is legal and ethically unquestionable between consenting adults.

Thank you for the respect you show in such honesty. I respect that a great deal.

 

[vsa7a]

Well Put Dvnc!

areenactor i respect your bold honesty but please that really wasnt necessary to admit that or even bring up to begin with. thank you for your effort.

thank you dvnc for making that great analysis out of your observations. good job man. and i will drop that subject of disdain

as for the rest of yall good on a few of you guys who saw my point

and finally for the rest of you other than that few dont get me wrong but...

I am NOT trying to insult or denouce the word "ticklephile" or anything like that. i only thought we may need a better or more dictionary definition "denotation" for it including if the term were used and it gave someone not knownly a bad impression and cause that person to give false alarms about it. its kind of like for example calling this guy "gay" to mean he's happy but to someone else it's like okay that guy is a homosexual or that guy is using BenGay® and then.. you see my point? (i know this might be a bad example but its the only one i can think of right now so sorry i do apologize no offense to anyone) unfortunately times have changed to bring more attention when such words or any part of that word is said and used including such suffixes that word has that especially draws everyones attention. i do think dvnc really did a good job putting out that point.

Tickling, porn or not maybe posted on this forum but it just seems that it is no longer the first subject and then its something else or even non-existent.

 

[Mehstra]

The issue that I still have with your argument, vsa7a, is that ticklephile is a perfectly accurate term for anyone who enjoys tickling. "Tickling fetish" is a reasonably accurate term for most of the people here. (Though, of course, as has been pointed out, it's not truly a fetish because there's no specific object involved.) Regardless of what false impressions someone else might infer from the use of these terms, you can't deny that they are accurate terms.
Maybe I'm just an idealist who believes that one should not obfuscate the truth because of what someone might think, or maybe I'm just a paranoid guy who hates the concept of redefining words out of a fear of living in a world predicted by George Orwell. Either way, I just can't get behind "deglamorizing", which I see as a redefined word for redefining. (Ooh, irony, I love it.)

 

[LItickleree]

This sounds like one of those religious threads, where someone tries to convert everyone and says we need to move to a more moral standpoint. Etc Etc. Um for your information, in most of the world, tickling IS just tickling. Most people do not know it is a fetish, even some people who like tickling dont consider it a fetish or a bad creepy thing. I really think your just over reacting, maybe you had some bad experiences like everyone thinks your creepy or something. But most of the world is not like that. Alot of the time, tickling is flirting, to most people or playful fighting. I'm sorry but lots of things that havent been considered sexual, will become seen as sexual as years to come. Who knows in like 20 years they'll be something new....why cause as this world becomes more open and people get more freedoms, people will be less scared to come out with things. If you dont want it to be creepy, dont be creepy about it. Or find people who dont think its creepy. Or just accept who you are, forget about the people who hate and go on with your life. Everything doesnt have to be accepted by everyone, and everything never will. Plain and simple