To Safeword or not to safeword...

[Gemini_Tickle]

Hi Everybody,

I have a general question. Ok so I love to be tickled and I'm really super ticklish pretty much everywhere on my body. I am usually only tickled by people I know and feel comfortable with so I've never bothered with a safeword.

So yesterday I had an awesome, incredible, CRAZY fun tickling session (and yes, I filmed it, but that's a different thread) and something that has never happened before happened. I really reached my breaking point. I just felt like I needed it to stop...but I was laughing so hard that I couldn't make it stop...plus I was roped...and I tried saying "uncle" but nobody took it seriously. They did stop a few minutes later and I was fine right away but today I am so incredibly sore...I have quite a few finger/thumb-print bruises and I am just so so achey...so now it's got me wondering if I went too far beyond my limits...

So obviously the easy answer is...have a safeword...but I'm kind of worried that if I have one I'll use it too easily and then I'll regret it after...does anyone have any advice?

 

[leafstk]

Hi Gemeni

It sounds like you found out why its probably a good idea to have a safeword, even though you're afraid you might use it too early. Before this experience, it sounds like you were good at going with it and never found the need for one. I think that will continue, but if it were to reach that level again you would have a safe out for things to stop. Nothing wrong with that

And hey... after a little break it can start all over again anyway, right?

Love your clips, btw!

 

[SilverHealer84]

I agree with leafstk. Or maybe you could use the "red, yellow, green" safewords, where red would mean to halt completely, yellow would mean to slow down, and green would be to continue?

I haven't been pushed past my breaking point yet, I don't think. I do burst into tears if my feet are tickled too long, though

 

[leafstk]

I do burst into tears if my feet are tickled too long, though

Duly noted

 

[Gemini_Tickle]

Thanks for the suggestions...yeah it was crazy...i love laughing and getting tickled but it was just SOOOOOOOO intense...

I like the red, yellow, green idea b/c that way I could get a break...most lers don't go as intense as Moe and TMJ...I think it was the combo...plus I had been having a rough day and so I think maybe I was just extra vulnerable...laughing that much and just the pure release of a bound tickle session really helped make it a better day...but man, I couldn't believe I screamed uncle!!!

It was fun and it's not that I wish it hadn't happened but I'm kind of worried about being so sore on a regular basis. Maybe I just need to toughen up!

And now...a really cute dancing kitten...

 

[BrightEyes1082]

My Owner doesn't allow me a safeword with her, so I have to endure
until she decides to stop. She can read me perfectly, and is in complete
control, although my opinion of when I've had enough almost always is
different than hers. However, she's trained me to use "red" when I'm
playing with other people. Last year I got gang-tickled when she wasn't
around while we were at a gathering, without her permission (or mine),
and I was unable to stop it. I never thought to say "red" because I didn't
have a safeword. I'd say you're probably safe to always use red, because
it pretty much is universal.

 

[thetmfobserver]

Two safewords is usually a good idea, or you could try having one that will get the tickling to stop, but it results in extra tickling once you've recovered. Of course, you might not want that, so just stick with the two.

 

[Angel77]

Nah, never regret using your safeword. Remember, it's your body and if you've felt like you've had enough, don't hesitate to say so. And just because you call out your safeword, it doesn't mean that the entire session has to stop. Just that perhaps you need a little breather

Love your clips too, btw!

 

[-Hari-]

Dammit!! its no good, I try to read your posts but cant take my eyes of your sig pic,

My generic answer to whatever this thread is about is, "yes"

*continues drooling*

 

[Gadilici]

I have never had a safeword as a lee myself.

And as a ler I don't assign any safewords per se. Too much to remember for the lee. I tell them if you can't breathe say "Air". I'll slow down for breathing. If it needs to stop, just say "Safeword". Easiest way I think to make sure you remember....lol It's almost never come up unless I was trying to break a lee. But still, just seems easier to keep in your mind.

Christopher

 

[tic30]

i dont use safewoeds although i need to....i like being tickled to the point of crying ive even fainted...i know it sounds crazy...i know im a freak lol... but i dont want to be able to stop the tickling thats the thrill of it....my husband knows to stop for a minute if he sees im in real danger...ive been tickled for 35 min non-stop no safe word it was hell...but i loved it..even though i wanted it to stop. believe me 35 min is a long time when you have feet as ticklish as mine

 

[rhiannon]

My opinion is - never ever go without a safeword, because there could always something unusual happen that your ler has never encountered before and can't read! You and YOU ALONE know when it needs to stop, you can't always count on the ler, no matter how much you trust!

To make sure you don't use it too soon just make it a bet. Set yourself a time limit. If you use it to soon, you have to do the ler a favor, if you make the time limit, the ler has to do you one!

 

[Gadilici]

I think I love you, tracy...lol

Christopher

 

[-Hari-]

I dont use them, as a ler I feel confident in my ability to monitor my lee`s safety, as long as the breathing is ok then theres no REAL limit to how much tickling someone can take, not really, besides, all this is talked about before hand and if they really want a safeword, they can have one, but it takes alot of the thrill out of it for me.

As a lee, I would only play with someone I can trust to make sure im safe, I dont use safewords in this position either and if that puts a ler off playing with me than we are simply not compatible.

As for other activities involving pain or anything that can cause damage to the body outside of the respiratory system, I always prepare a safeword.

Always important to also remember that a lee/sub cant always be aware of when theyve had enuf, so as a ler/top you should be aware of when they have had enuf and make the choice for them if need be, subspace can really cloud someones judgement. However this is less common in tickling ide imagine.

 

[maniactickler]

I ignore safewords.

 

[solescratcher99]

Depends on the girl and the situation. If she has a medical condition I take the safeword more seriously.

Other than that, I usually tell them safewords are only to be used for 1.) seriously not being able to breathe (not just getting short on breath), 2.) developing a really painful cramp (its not fun for anyone when that happens), 3.) if she's hyperventilating, having a panic attack, or feels like she's gonna black out (never had any of this happen though)

EDIT: Oh and the safeword I use is 'supercalifragilisticexpialidocious'.

 

[Angel77]

I ignore safewords.

 

[ticklemepls]

i am the same way- the only people who tickle me are those i fully trust... such as my owner...

it honestly wasnt until he and I had our first session i was introduced to safewords... never used them before, but then again, never really had a need to. Well- lets just say im glad he wanted to use one...

my concern was the same, use it too soon... however (and it could be different with my owner) i found that i didnt use it until i truely needed to... although, i have wondered doing a session without a safeword, just to see how long he could push me for... but in general, i think it relaxes everyone to know if you truely need it to stop- theres a way out and lee and ler can rest easy and know all pleas mean nothing unless you yell out the safeword....

just my thoughts...

 

[Gemini_Tickle]

Ticklemeples: Yes, good point about how having the safeword makes all other pleas meaningless...I always beg for it to stop before I really want it to...so having a designated word would be good...i think i'm gonna implement the yellow and red suggestions...

 

[milagros317]

Have a safeword and a slowword. You can use the slowword when you want to say, "I'm close to my breaking point so slow up a bit but don't stop."

It is best for both words to be one syllable for reasons that you discovered.

 

[TklDuo-Ann]

I've always thought of the potential of using safewords in a slightly different way...provided you let your ler(s) know this in advance. A safeword, used properly means that you "need it to stop". That could be for a variety of reasons, some more concrete than others.

Rather than the session coming to an end when the safeword is used, why not simply have the ler(s) check in with you? They pause and ask you what's up. If they know you well enough, they can then determine if you truly DO need it to stop or can enjoy/endure a bit more...even quite a bit more. It may be that you truly do need it to stop for the moment, but can then continue once the particular issue is dealt with.

That's just my own thought on the matter, anyway. Anything to avoid ending a session prematurely!

 

[ticklemepls]

I've always thought of the potential of using safewords in a slightly different way...provided you let your ler(s) know this in advance. A safeword, used properly means that you "need it to stop". That could be for a variety of reasons, some more concrete than others.

Rather than the session coming to an end when the safeword is used, why not simply have the ler(s) check in with you? They pause and ask you what's up. If they know you well enough, they can then determine if you truly DO need it to stop or can enjoy/endure a bit more...even quite a bit more. It may be that you truly do need it to stop for the moment, but can then continue once the particular issue is dealt with.

That's just my own thought on the matter, anyway. Anything to avoid ending a session prematurely!

very well said...... good point....

 

[TickledToDeath]

Gemini, I think the situation was handled perfectly. Safe word or no safe word debates will go on till the end of time and will more than likely be split down the middle for the most part. It is all up to the ticklee really. Trust is the key. If you trust the ticklers not to tickle you to "death" or to injury, then no safe word. If you or the ticklee has a condition that may hinder being tickled for a prolonged period of time, then some sort of safe word should be implemented, for instance, asthma. If the tickee has asthma, the lers should be given that knowledge for openers and if the ticklee feels as if he/she is about to have an attack due to prolonged tickling, then, asthma should be the safe word. Yes indeed a lee under normal conditions and normal health will use a safe word prematurely and the psychological aspect of the lee not knowing when the tickling will stop is also key in a great tickle session. Those little bruises and soreness goes with the territory of an intense wild tickle session.
Saying Uncle , knowing you have indeed reached your "breaking" point is also great especially if you want to be taken to that breaking point and a few minutes beyond after which your friends/ticklers stopped so in your specific case, everything went exactly as it should have.

 

[Gemini_Tickle]

Hey TickledToDeath...thanks for the thoughtful response!!! Now that the bruises have healed I'm glad they tickled me that much. It was FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, and you and me have the same birthday!!!!

 

[TickledToDeath]

Hey TickledToDeath...thanks for the thoughtful response!!! Now that the bruises have healed I'm glad they tickled me that much. It was FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, and you and me have the same birthday!!!!

You are most welcome and I knew you would be glad they tickled you that much! LOL.
Fun to be on either side of a tickling like that.
You mean literally, May 23rd? Kewl. I am sure however you are not a 1960 baby. ;-)

So, perhaps all of us should get together on our birthdays from time to time and celebrate together appropriately!?

TTD