To those who want to give someone hell about something they post here

[Em Es]

Folks, some of us including me may have strong feelings about what people can say here. But this is a forum, where no one is asking for approval of their activity. If I dislike something I read, I move on unless I have something constructive to say as opposed to judgmental. People who fear getting criticized may hesitate to post honestly, which defeats the purpose of a forum such as this great web site.

Do you agree?

 

[BellybTickler]

I do, I do indeed.

 

[ticklishdanny]

Agreed, can't stand trolls though.

 

[milagros317]

Agreed. YKIMK,BYKIO.
(Your Kink Isn't My Kink, But Your Kink Is OK.)

 

[GEORGIATKLER]

I agree. Those mods acting all "I am a moderator of this very forum whose rules you agreed to follow"......***sends e-mail to Myriads to PLEASE reset username and password*** I guess the rest of us will have to have more selective filters and ignore buttons, or thicker skin except between the ears. To show there are no hard feelings, please only buy Amway and timeshares from me in the future. In the P&R forum we end up figuratively black and blue, no wait, red OR blue, but I enjoy reading the different points of view. Which media sources are legit makes finding true religion seem easy. We may not persuede the other side, but suede is kinda high maintenance anyway, so............

 

[ChicagoDavid]

I agree with OP. Georgia, I’m not sure what you’re saying! That’s not a criticism, just a constructive request for clarification.

 

[rhiannon]

People who fear getting criticized may hesitate to post honestly, which defeats the purpose of a forum such as this great web site.

In my opinion, people who fear getting criticized should post on a blog, not a discussion forum. What kind of discussion would you have without criticism or different opinions? That's right - none. As long as people stay civil and don't insult, I don't see why there shouldn't be any criticism.

What I disagree with though is if people are ridiculed because their kink might be slightly different from the common taste.

 

[OnnaOtaku]

In my opinion, people who fear getting criticized should post on a blog, not a discussion forum. What kind of discussion would you have without criticism or different opinions? That's right - none. As long as people stay civil and don't insult, I don't see why there shouldn't be any criticism.

What I disagree with though is if people are ridiculed because their kink might be slightly different from the common taste.

^^^THIS!!

 

[Ticklerguy4u]

I usually only get offended to those who personally know me as a person. Not as a bunch of words. When I post. I usually know I will recieve either positive or negative responses. Its why I post...to see both sides of the coin. There is no secret to me about that. Everyone has a opinion. I just filter out the ones that I deem are useful to me and ignore those that aren't.

 

[OnnaOtaku]

I usually only get offended to those who personally know me as a person. Not as a bunch of words. When I post. I usually know I will recieve either positive or negative responses. Its why I post...to see both sides of the coin. There is no secret to me about that. Everyone has a opinion. I just filter out the ones that I deem are useful to me and ignore those that aren't.

Same here. It's hard to offend me, but if it happens, it's because someone I care about is the one that offended me. The only opinions that matter to me are those of the people that I care about and what they think of me, which really isn't very many people. So, if some random poster on the TMF or anywhere else online says something, it pretty much just goes in one ear and out the other because I don't value their opinion anyways.

I wish there were more people like this.

 

[Cif]

In my opinion, people who fear getting criticized should post on a blog, not a discussion forum. What kind of discussion would you have without criticism or different opinions? That's right - none. As long as people stay civil and don't insult, I don't see why there shouldn't be any criticism.

What I disagree with though is if people are ridiculed because their kink might be slightly different from the common taste.

This lady, as always, is the voice of reason.

 

[ChicagoDavid]

This lady, as always, is the voice of reason.

But the key point of OP was, “constructive is okay, judgmental is not.” Often on this forum and others, when people disagree on something, they slam OP in a way that they never would if they were having a conversation in person. If they were in the same room, and would have to see each other in the future, say at work or through common friends, then they would find an infinitely more tactful way to make their point. Criticism is okay; OP openly acknowledged that. But I’d like to see people follow this rule: “would I say it this way if we are in a room together.”

Yes, you will be able to find rare examples where that rule does not work. So, think of it as a guideline.

 

[Speedbump]

I agree. Those mods acting all "I am a moderator of this very forum whose rules you agreed to follow"......***sends e-mail to Myriads to PLEASE reset username and password*** I guess the rest of us will have to have more selective filters and ignore buttons, or thicker skin except between the ears. To show there are no hard feelings, please only buy Amway and timeshares from me in the future. In the P&R forum we end up figuratively black and blue, no wait, red OR blue, but I enjoy reading the different points of view. Which media sources are legit makes finding true religion seem easy. We may not persuede the other side, but suede is kinda high maintenance anyway, so............

Wow.

Can someone clarify what's going on in this post?

 

[Phineas]

Do you agree?

In theory? I suppose. On the other hand, this community is home to a lot of rather destructive beliefs and practices that not only hurt the holder of said beliefs, but also the community as a whole. When that shit comes up, it needs to be slapped down. Hard.

Granted, I don't hang out in places like the Politics forum so I may be off-base on what prompted this message, but there is absolutely no way that a post about creepin' on people or plotting how best to get away with groping strangers should be tolerated. And some of us have been around here long enough that we have lost all patience with the resiliency of such annoyances. (Seriously, it seems like creepy people never actually try to improve their lot in life by, y'know, not being creepy. Their reaction to being shamed for some idiotic scheme is to usually work harder not to get caught. Which is even worse, TBH.

We get all surprised and offended when the media trots out some stupid story about a guy who broke into his neighbor's house to sniff her feet... but I can bet you dollars to donuts that he floated ideas like that as "just a fantasy I had" on forums like these for years until enough other clowns told him "man, I would totally do that" that he thought it'd be a good idea.

So, that brings up the question, of course, of who is the ultimate arbiter of right and wrong? I personally am aware of what I perceive to be absolutes versus my own personal viewpoints, and I try my damndest not to pass one off as the other. Still, I'd like to think there are some things we should all be able to agree on.

Now that I've said that, I'm off to post one of my own personal fantasies. It involves chloroform and my nine-year-old sister. Should go over rather well, don't you think? And if anyone has a problem with it, they can just refer back to the first post in this thread.

 

[Coda]

Disposition is particularly important in an adult forum since -- still, for so many people who just want to enjoy and explore their interests -- even choosing to post can take a great deal of courage. There main reason for commenting and talking with other members should be shared enthusiasm about something.

The only exception might be the general discussion forum or certain subforums dedicated to argument.

 

[Phineas]

There main reason for commenting and talking with other members should be shared enthusiasm about something.

Even if that something is a thing which they should absolutely not be doing?

Some of our members take great delight in putting their hands all over strangers in public. They certainly gain enthusiastic support from the peanut gallery here, and any woman who dares speak up and say "Hey, y'know, as a woman, I'm uncomfortable by this..." is shouted into silence. Assuming they don't simply quietly back away from the forum and stop coming entirely, that is.

But, hey - who needs women here anyway, right? Enthusiasm!

 

[april]

Sorry but I disagree. critisism can be helpful whether it is neggative or possitive. Some people post some pretty crazy stuff on here and if no one says anything, these people continue to push their unwanted behaviors on others. Some people outright ask for advice and that my friend is an open invitation to neggative or possitive critisism.

 

[Phineas]

By the by, good to see you again, April.