two female roommates,i tickle their feet. thoughts.

[Em Es]

Mark

Do the sisters need you to say the words regarding your feelings in order for the frivolity to commence? If not, why say so and risk scaring them? Your actions speak for themselves anyway; complicating the situation with words such as "I have a foot fetish" or "I have a tickling fetish" is not necessary.

It sounds as though you have already broken the ice with the tickling and other touching of the girls' feet. If they are cool with it so far, then more power to you. Upping the ante could change that, so don't pile on too much too soon.

Keep testing limits. A woman will be quick to let you know when you are out of bounds. Good luck and let us know what happens!

 

[rhiannon]

comparing something so harmless to watching unsuspecting women in dressing rooms

I fail to see the difference! Would you explain?

 

[april]

Well let me give you an example. If some attractive woman gives me a hug, or I give her a hug, it might turn me on. I don't believe that makes it unethical to hug.

Or another example - don't we all tend to stare at people we find attractive? Isn't this "taking advantage" of them for our own sexual fulfillment? I don't think this is unethical.

I also don't believe that blanket statements like "It's not. Ever." help much in ethical debate - it's very subjective. I think just the fact that you and I disagree on this shows that it is.

Your view on what is ethical is completely scewed. Hugs are hugs UNLESS you have a hug fetish. Tickling is just tickling UNLESS you have a tickling fetish. Sure, someone may get turned on by a hug but its unnintentional. When someone intentionally...note the word intentional, does something SEXUALY to another person that clearly turns them on and the other person is unaware, it is unethical. This is not a situation where someone just stares at someone, your physically touching someone for sexual gratification. The fact that this person does not want to tell (or cant bc it would clearly freak them out) the girls he's doing this too is a sign that its not right. Why hide it? If its not wrong why hide it? You know exactly why. Its obviouse that you would rather have your sexual gratification than look at something for what it is...wrong. Your talking about something akin to sexual nonconsent...which is not ethical. I wont argue with you any further. I also wont seek to befriend you bc as a female, I am wary and frankly freaked out by your kind.

 

[DontAskJusTckle]

Here's my advice.

Don't tell them, no matter how much you might want to. If they are okay with you rubbing and occasionally tickling their feet, it's consensual, period. If you tell them it excites you, there's a possibility they may feel obliged to withdraw.

No matter what anybody tells you on this forum (and that of course includes me), you are under no obligation whatsoever to confess your sexual interest. That's your business and nobody else's. Neither are you under any ethical obligation to cease this activity. They enjoy it. You enjoy it. Life is good.

 

[rhiannon]

If you tell them it excites you, there's a possibility they may feel obliged to withdraw.

You mean there is a really good possibility that they will feel uncomfortable and won't allow it anymore.

 

[april]

Ugh, all this thread has done is to reinforce my fear of men. Some of the advice here is plain scary

 

[rhiannon]

It amazes me that some guys here don't want to see the problem! You know, if someone has sex with a woman who is passed out drunk, it is rape, and it doesn't matter if she remembers afterwards it happened or not...

It is illegal to watch women in dressers, and it doesn't matter if the women realize it or not!

And these scenarios are no different from tickling a woman who has no idea that it is sexual to the person who does the tickling!

 

[DontAskJusTckle]

You mean there is a really good possibility that they will feel uncomfortable and won't allow it anymore.

I mean no more or less than what I said, Rhiannon. She either consents to be touched and tickled or she doesn't. She can't say with any degree of reasonability "You can touch me as long as it doesn't excite you." How much he internally digs it is none of her business, unless the tickler acts on his excitement by introducing behavior that goes beyond that to which has been consented, i.e. groping, exposing himself, etc.

Ugh, all this thread has done is to reinforce my fear of men. Some of the advice here is plain scary

Surrre...because women are all so open and transparent about the true nature of their motives and interests, right?

Look, I'm not bashing women. The truth is that there is nothing new or insidious about this. Men have long been known to cop cheap feels, and women have long been known for their feminine wiles. I say viva la difference!

 

[Adapt]

Here are my .02, not that it matters. I only tickle women I am attracted to, and they KNOW I am attracted to them. It's not like a secret. Tickling for me is not static in sexual nature. A quick tickle is like a wink, or a flirty remark. More intense tickling is like making out. She knows I am turned on because my body reacts like a man turned on.

Now I can see tickling someone, being turned on and not telling them, at first... Now personally I couldn't do this for a long period of time because for me tickling means I want this person. Meaning I want a relationship with them.

I guess what I am saying is that I think it's ok to do a quick tickle as a flirty thing. I think it's ok to tickle someone without telling them it turns you on IF you are already involved with them, just to see if they like it or not. If they don't like it, well then they might not be the right person. If they don't mind tickling, or are turned on by it, then I tell them it turns me on.

I guess I am against tickling people, getting turned on, and just keep doing it without any thought of letting them know.

 

[Adapt]

Oh, also. There might be some guys who can tickle a girl, get turned on, and not umm "show" it. I'm not one of those guys lol... If I tickle her for more than a few seconds, she KNOWS i'm turned on lol. If it wasn't clear on my above post, I only tickle a woman I am involved with.

 

[rhiannon]

She either consents to be touched and tickled or she doesn't.

Simply not true! If you agree to being touched and tickled, you agree to being touched and tickled innocently without anything sexual behind it! Most women don't wish to be an object of sexual gratification without them even knowing!

There was an example with hugging earlier; let's say there's a guy that I am not interested in sexually and I think it's vice versa; I hug him when I meet him, and one day I realize he gets a hard-on from that. I can promise to you that I would never hug that person again.

It's the same with the girls who get tickled, and you guys know very damn well it's the case!

I remember there were two guys in my clique who would always act gay; you know, sitting on each others laps, dancing gay with each other, grabbing ass and that kind of stuff. One day, one of them outed himself - he was actually gay.

The other guy cut off the friendship afterwards. Not because he was gay, but because he felt tricked and used.

 

[Adapt]

I remember there were two guys in my clique who would always act gay; you know, sitting on each others laps, dancing gay with each other, grabbing ass and that kind of stuff. One day, one of them outed himself - he was actually gay.

The other guy cut off the friendship afterwards. Not because he was gay, but because he felt tricked and used.

Best example against tickling and not telling it turns you on right here.

 

[rhiannon]

Best example against tickling and not telling it turns you on right here.

And the gay guy probably wasn't even turned on by all the stuff they were doing...just because he was gay didn't mean he was into every guy coming along!

 

[DontAskJusTckle]

If you agree to being touched and tickled, you agree to being touched and tickled innocently without anything sexual behind it!

Simply not true! You have jurisdiction over who touches you where and how. You don't have jurisdiction over the mind of the toucher.

Most women don't wish to be an object of sexual gratification without them even knowing!

First of all, you don't know most women, and are ill equipped to speak on their behalf.

Secondly, even if you could somehow establish that as true (which you can't), it wouldn't matter. Women have no say so over who is attracted to them or regards them sexually. Men don't either.

There was an example with hugging earlier; let's say there's a guy that I am not interested in sexually and I think it's vice versa; I hug him when I meet him, and one day I realize he gets a hard-on from that. I can promise to you that I would never hug that person again.

So what? That's your decision to make for yourself, but let's not pretend you get to make that decision unilaterally for women everywhere. If it were me hugging you, Rhiannon, I can promise you would never know whether it's just a hug for me, or something more, because quite frankly it's none of your business.

It's the same with the girls who get tickled, and you guys know very damn well it's the case!

What I know is that it's my business alone how much I like something, someone, or some activity. As long as I internalize it and don't give any deliberate evidence of it, she's got no legitimate complaint.

I remember there were two guys in my clique who would always act gay; you know, sitting on each others laps, dancing gay with each other, grabbing ass and that kind of stuff. One day, one of them outed himself - he was actually gay.

The other guy cut off the friendship afterwards. Not because he was gay, but because he felt tricked and used.

Same principles apply. The queer was under no obligation to tell the straight how much he enjoyed the ass-grabbing. The straight operated under a false assumption, that his buddy was also straight. If he doesn't want guys grabbing his ass, he never should have consented with it to begin with.

Here's an example. I'm straight. I don't want other guys sitting on my lap or grabbing my ass whether they are queer or not. To me that is a little too homoerotic for comfort.

On the other hand, I don't regard tickling as a sexual activity. Consequently, I tickle and get tickled by men and women alike, gay and straight alike. Do any of them get a sexual thrill from it? What do I care? That's their business and I'm happy to keep it that way.

 

[NonConTickler]

I fail to see the difference! Would you explain?

The guy watching unsuspecting women undress is risking being arrested if he's found out. The OP isn't. You're familiar with my posts, so you know I'm not concerned with what's "morally" right or wrong, or what's "creepy" or not. One action is illegal the other isn't.

Most ignorant statement ever. But you seem to be the Queen of those .. still.

You do realize I'm a guy right?

 

[rhiannon]

First of all, you don't know most women, and are ill equipped to speak on their behalf.

Maybe you didn't notice, but in threads like this, it's usually women who say it's wrong and guys who just don't care as long as they get what they want. That should tell you something.

That's your decision to make for yourself, but let's not pretend you get to make that decision unilaterally for women everywhere.

Why doesn't everybody who wonders if they should tell their unsuspecting lees that they have a fetish make a start and tell them they have a fetish and see how they react! Then we could actually hear the reactions! I say it again, there is a REASON why people are so unsure about telling, and why these threads pop up here every few weeks!

Because even though a lot of people don't want to hear it, they KNOW that the people they tickle would not approve and not allow it anymore if they knew that it turns them on!

Women have no say so over who is attracted to them or regards them sexually.

True, but they have a say so over who they allow to touch them sexually. And if they are not aware of it, they are robbed the chance of saying no!

One action is illegal the other isn't.

Don't be so sure! This could still run as sexual abuse or sexual harrassment!

 

[Em Es]

DontAskJusTckle

"Don't ask, just tickle!" Four words, great advice!

 

[rhiannon]

"Don't ask, just tickle!" Four words, great advice!

...which can get you to loose a tooth or two.

 

[solescratcher99]

I'm a guy, I love sports, pretty active, a nerdy jock ha, love tickling and female feet. I live with two sisters that are gorgeous. They walk around barefoot often. High arch dirty feet. Footguys know the scene, regardless one sister knows I like rubbing her feet. I tickle them playfully if we're just sitting around. I also tickle the other sisters feet too. I'm wondring if before our lease ends on a drunken rage night if I should tell them how much I love female feet and tickling them. I mean the one sister knows when I'm just goofing off, but I haven't flatout said "I have a foot fetish."

Should I tell them? Have any other guys or gals been in this situation before? Thanks.

Besides the fact that this DID come off as weird and joking about going on a drunken rage just reinforced the weirdness, I'm going to stick up for this post.

Women aren't as stupid as most people are making them out to be on here. You know how a lot of these situations unfold? The guy says something about it during or afterwards and the girl says, "I can tell" or "I kinda figured."

These processes take place NON-VERBALLY! Very rarely is anything ever explicit like they are in a Catholic confessional. Get over it or become a nun if you liked my Catholic confessional analogy.

Please get out into the real world and interact with people. Why does it not surprise me that the SAME PEOPLE who became so offended at these topics almost a year ago are still HEAVILY active on the forums?

Get a life!

(I know. Now, I'm gonna get such crap for shitting on people who never get off the internet.)

I remember there were two guys in my clique who would always act gay; you know, sitting on each others laps, dancing gay with each other, grabbing ass and that kind of stuff. One day, one of them outed himself - he was actually gay.

The other guy cut off the friendship afterwards. Not because he was gay, but because he felt tricked and used.

"I'm cutting off our friendship." Are you sure this guy isn't gay? That sounds pretty gay to me.

If this really did happen (yes, it's that transparent), he "de-friended" someone because he didn't realize he was flirting with a gay guy?

What a dick.

Assuming your friend is an adult, he should know the difference between someone flirting and goofing off by now; otherwise, he's just insanely stupid. In fact, he (the gay one) probably didn't say he was gay because A.) he assumed the other guy knew (or might be too) or B.) was just getting comfortable with his sexuality... that is, until some jerk probably drove him back into the closet with his odd and equally gay "I'm cutting off our friendship!" tactic.

Nice going!

Of course, this whole thing probably didn't happen, so it's moot point.

 

[Adapt]

Lets be honest here. How many of you let a person of the opposite sex rub your back, or feet, or tickle you that isn't someone you are attracted too? (other than a family member or something)... Yes there is such thing as friendly hugs, or maybe even a shoulder rub from a member of the opposite sex, but in most cases any extended physical contact is done to form a physical relationship... Holding hands, kissing, neck rubs, tickling... These are things done when people are attracted to one another.... Sure rubbing a womans neck won't give me an erection, but I do it for two reasons. 1. To make her feel good. 2. Because I want to touch her because I am attracted to her and want too.

So if someone is not related to you, or you have one of those close friendships that both people care about each other but don't want anything more, you can be sure that back rubs, tickling, or whatever are being done because of attraction (some level of sexual satisfaction).

 

[rhiannon]

What a dick.

I did never say he was a great person or especially smart. I'm just saying that he felt betrayed....personally I believe the reaction was way over the top, but when it comes to sexual things, a lot of people tend to react very sensitively.

Of course, this whole thing probably didn't happen, so it's moot point.

It did. I could even show you pictures of the guys, but I don't really feel the need to justify myself.

 

[april]

Theres two sides to this as far as I can see. And it depends on the situation. Ill admit that the OP, for me, came off as a bit creepy and thats what made me wary. And then several others posted egging him on that again, to me, amped up the creep factor. Its all about intentions. If its someones intent to gain sexual gratification from someone who 1)Is unnaware of these intentions and most importantly 2) Its not a situation where said person is attracted to and would never consider doing anything sexual with the one taking sexual advantage.

I admit to tickling guys who did not know about my fetish. They either started it as in a flirtation type deal, we were tottaly into one another and they saw it turned me on or I was in an actual relationship with this person. I am now completely open with my fetish and I tell everyone that Im interested in tickling. These situations will happen...not everyone is open with thier tickling fetish. But the example given in the original post just doesnt sound right. Again with the intent. Im disturbed by the intent. What Im hearing is "Go ahead and get your rocks off by a couple of girls who arent interested in you sexually. Dont tell them bc then it will creep them out bc in real life, they wouldnt want you doing this to them. But tickling is innocent right...at least it is for those that dont have it as a fetish so its ok. As long as they dont know your inacting your ultimate fantasy out on them theres no fowl play." See how it sounds when its not sugar coated?

 

[Speedbump]

I for one think people put too much thought into morals regarding sexuality. If you get turned on by something, you get turned on - forcing yourself not to is just a giant pain in the ass.

It's not whether you get turned on or not... shit, I can get turned on just sitting around doing nothing, or playing a video game and not even thinking of anything remotely close to sexy... but it's how you react to it.

If you feel aroused and suddenly start trying to feel the girl up (stranger or friend) because somehow to you a hug or quick tickle meant you guys were gonna fuck, then that's a little different. If you're just giving a quick tickle, hug, or whatever, just for the sake of doing it, and she either has fun with it, or doesn't seem to mind (and if she does, you know not to do it again) then what does it matter?

If you get aroused by something, that's natural. You're not "pushing your fetish" on anyone by giving a quick tickle here and there and getting a little aroused by it. You're not doing anything wrong, despite the people with sticks up their asses telling you otherwise.

If we weren't meant to get aroused by things, then it wouldn't be happening. All there is to it.

 

[phant0m]

Ugh, all this thread has done is to reinforce my fear of men. Some of the advice here is plain scary

Totally. I'm a man and every time I consider delurking and trying to be part of the community I read a thread like this and I'm convinced I'm better off dealing with my fetish alone.

 

[april]

Totally. I'm a man and every time I consider delurking and trying to be part of the community I read a thread like this and I'm convinced I'm better off dealing with my fetish alone.

Aw, dont be scared off by a single thread that has been overcrowed by those who cannot seperate fantasy from reality. Its natural to have fantasies about these exact situations but actually going through with it (when its not consentual) can get mixed up with ethics and morality. You shouldnt be alone in your fetish. This honostly is an open minded community. And theres no reason why you cannot experience your fantasies...theres gatherings all over and perhaps you will meet someone on here. Try fetlife as well. Ive met a whole community of people in my hometown through fet that have happily cattered to my tickling fantasies. Ive also been to gatherings through the tmf. Your not alone