Uhhgg Terrible-ness!! love sum helpfull thoughts.

[TeNNis_MAn]

Hey whats up guys.
I've been talkin with / dating a woman i work with for a couple of months now. Things are pretty good. Any how.. I've been scemeing to work in tickling to the bedroom scene. All i've been doin is just light pokes and quick stuff.... aannd shee HATES it. The last time i did, literally only for 4-5 seconds she freaked out and told me she feels panicked when she gets tickled...

WTF guys! lol. I mean its not changing our relationship. Just lookin for some thoughts and ideas here.

 

[GEORGIATKLER]

You may want to offer her a foot massage when you are both vertical. Try some tickles and talk to her about her reaction. She apparently is either off the charts ticklish, just can't stand it, or has had some very bad tickle experiences in the past. If she REALLY hates tickling, you can talk to her about it, but I do not know a way to make her like it. There have been some other threads on this topic. Maybe they will give you some other ideas. Good luck to you both.

 

[giggle-maker]

What GEORGIATKLER said!

I always break a new vanilla girl in by first communicating with her. You HAVE to man up and speak. The best thing is when you ask her "how would you feel if I could take something you hate and turn it into something you crave?" Make sure you use the word "CRAVE" and explain this in the best detail you can.

Once she understands the whole thing, you can start the 'break-in' process with very gentle foot tickling. As GEORGIATKLER suggested, start with a foot massage and make absolutly sure she knowes you are going to tickle her and knowes the motive is to get her to enjoy the tickling. She has to be ready to 'give it a try'.

Good luck!

 

[Inverse]

Tickling for some brings back early experiences of loss of control. Usually by people who don't really know what to do with it. People who don't care about limits, or who they're tickling. They just wanted a response. She may not really trust you, or~ she may not really trust herself.

Either way, something needs to be built between you two, and maybe being clear why you tickle her may be a way to go. Knowing why, your reasons behind the touch, behind the tickling, could show her that your desire isn't the same as any other tickler before you. Depending on how she knows you, likes you, tickling could be something she understands allows her to be closer to you.

Instead of something that makes her want to pull away.

I'm no master at this kind of thing, but I think communication is the first step to understanding between people, whether through words or some other means, something can't be real without understanding... with clashing realities, you can't expect your touch to really communicate what it is you feel, love, want out of tickling her. Do you just want to push her buttons, or do you want her to know it pushes yours? <3

 

[Marquis De Sade]

Try telling her, really sweetly, how SHE turns you on when you tickle her and make her laugh. Tell her it's the laugh in her voice, something in her eyes, how sexy she looks when she moves, how cute it is when she jumps or giggles, whatever. Just make it really sweet and make it very clear to her it's everything SHE gives you as a reaction to tickling her that you find a turn-on. Not that you get a kick out of it only. This is one very powerful form of changing one's mind about something because you're making them re-asses the power exchange without them even being aware it even is a power exchange. You're not taking anything away from her, she's giving something to you. With this very subtle suggestion, she might very possibly re-evaluate how she feels and how comfortable she is about it because she becomes aware that her reactions are hers to give and those reactions turn you on.

As in, she's in possession of something that gets you going. You find her tickled state more attractive, it gets you going. And those reactions are hers. It's a form of inception.

Yes. The movie.

But it works in most cases. Give it a shot. Try it next time she's in bed. Tickle her a little, playfully, quickly. And before she has a chance to protest, tell her all the above. Not in a long speech but something simple. "My GOD you're sexy when you laugh, when you move like that." Then stop. Don't do it anymore until the next time. She'll remember. She might even ask you for it.

EDIT: Yeah. The last line of what Inverse wrote. Brilliant.

 

[Inverse]

See, Marquis knows what he's talking about. :3

 

[giggle-maker]

make it very clear to her it's everything SHE gives you as a reaction to tickling her that you find a turn-on. Not that you get a kick out of it only.

Oh, this is soooo fucking on point! Best advice I think I've ever heard or read on this subject!

 

[-Hari-]

Be prepared for the worst, it may be that she will never accept it, ask yourself at this early stage if you can handle that? if the answer is yes then enjoy what you do have in common, if no then its time to make a break or its unfair on both of you.

 

[rhiannon]

You have to talk to her about it. About the reasons why she feels panicked by it. Haribish is right, if it really is that bad, she might not be able to tolerate it.

 

[DontAskJusTckle]

Most people who hate tickling have never had any good experiences with it. They've always been tickled against their will, and beyond their endurance level. Hence, in their mind all tickling sucks.

What you need to do, is to find that threshold of endurance, and work within it. By doing this you can create fond tickling experiences with her that will give her more pleasant associations with it.

Then you can work together to expand that threshold. Trust is key, so you'll have to resist the overwhelming temptation to go hog wild on her feet, ribs and armpits.

 

[Em Es]

Read between the lines

When a woman tells you, "I hate that," all it means is she hates it when YOU do it. She will let a guy she wants to please more than she wishes to please you will get away with it; she may even learn to like it if he is important enough to her.

 

[LD_Tickler]

When a woman tells you, "I hate that," all it means is she hates it when YOU do it. She will let a guy she wants to please more than she wishes to please you will get away with it; she may even learn to like it if he is important enough to her.

Well damn, Em, don't sugar coat it. Tell us how you really feel.

 

[Mattyyy]

Dude, i went through a similar experience just recently (involving my foot fetish and her fear of having her feet touched) and sometimes it simply comes down to a difference of preference - you can find my thread on this issue and alot of members gave me some excellent advice nd feedback. It may just be that she really desn't like being tickled and if this is the case then maybe you two aren't right for each other. Thats a reality i had to face with the girl i was dating. However, you may be lucky and she might come around, all you can do is tell her wht you like and see how it goes from there

 

[Marquis De Sade]

Well, yeah. There is all that too. The whole she really, really hates it part. But what Mattyyy said is more hopeful.

 

[TeNNis_MAn]

haha thanks a ton for the advice! It will be helpful.
All of your angles were really on point, and were really well said. I was impressed anyway. So thakns

@DontAskJustTickle- Enjoyed the irony between your name and your comment haha

@Em Es- Cheer up homi. She's still in my bed. Honeslty think yours is a pretty solid point, but short of a girl stripping and saying do me how you want, we'd have to read between the lines all the time by that definition.

@Inverse and Marquis - Brilliant stuff.

 

[rhiannon]

When a woman tells you, "I hate that," all it means is she hates it when YOU do it. She will let a guy she wants to please more than she wishes to please you will get away with it; she may even learn to like it if he is important enough to her.

Sorry, but that just doesn't work! Maybe it would go well for a while for, I don't know, Brad Pitt, but if she actually really doesn't like it, she will not endure it for long. If I know one thing, then this: if you are doing something you don't like in the bedroom, no matter for who, you will end up despising the whole experience.

Seems like you can't accept that there is some stuff that people truly don't like doing!

TeNNis_MAn, keep us posted how it went. I'm really curious about the outcome. However you go about it, be gentle ans respectful, that should do the trick if she does not truly, really hate it.