I happened to see a personals ad from a 20 year old asking for advice. Here's what I wrote- perhaps others might find it useful.
First, pat yourself on the back and/or thank your Supreme Being/Sky Fairy that you're not into little boys or little girls, stealing panties from clotheslines or necrophilia.
Then: Circulate. Be sociable. Make female friends. Ask them nicely. Get turned down. Feel like an idiot. Lick your wounds. Try again. Join the Kink Society at your university if a student, or attend munches if not. Pretend you're not ashamed. Realize they're talking about you. Recognise that some will find the prospect very interesting but will be too shy to say so or let you know. Make an honest page for yourself on Fetlife and include a nice headshot in the gallery.
Go to a few shibari classes to learn safe ropework. Or go online and get some tutorials from Youtube- 'Two Knotty Boys' is a good place to start. Buy your own braided (NOT twisted) nylon rope at a hardware store until you feel secure enough to invest in jute or hemp- which strictly speaking isn't necessary.
Learn to cut your losses. Don't get involved in long and pointless email correspondence if she won't Skype/Facetime/whatever within four emails- just let it go and assume 'she' is male. And don't buy a session from a 'model'. It's her business to tell you how wonderful you are no matter how awful you are and you'll learn nothing about women except how to spend large sums of money uselessly.
And always remember it's a numbers game. Every rejection means you're one step closer to a 'Yes' from someone else. You are going to fuck up more than you succeed for a while but you will have some successes. That's a promise.
Now get out here and pay your dues. If you keep at it you will get what you want.
Be decent about it.
First, pat yourself on the back and/or thank your Supreme Being/Sky Fairy that you're not into little boys or little girls, stealing panties from clotheslines or necrophilia.
Then: Circulate. Be sociable. Make female friends. Ask them nicely. Get turned down. Feel like an idiot. Lick your wounds. Try again. Join the Kink Society at your university if a student, or attend munches if not. Pretend you're not ashamed. Realize they're talking about you. Recognise that some will find the prospect very interesting but will be too shy to say so or let you know. Make an honest page for yourself on Fetlife and include a nice headshot in the gallery.
Go to a few shibari classes to learn safe ropework. Or go online and get some tutorials from Youtube- 'Two Knotty Boys' is a good place to start. Buy your own braided (NOT twisted) nylon rope at a hardware store until you feel secure enough to invest in jute or hemp- which strictly speaking isn't necessary.
Learn to cut your losses. Don't get involved in long and pointless email correspondence if she won't Skype/Facetime/whatever within four emails- just let it go and assume 'she' is male. And don't buy a session from a 'model'. It's her business to tell you how wonderful you are no matter how awful you are and you'll learn nothing about women except how to spend large sums of money uselessly.
And always remember it's a numbers game. Every rejection means you're one step closer to a 'Yes' from someone else. You are going to fuck up more than you succeed for a while but you will have some successes. That's a promise.
Now get out here and pay your dues. If you keep at it you will get what you want.
Be decent about it.
