What if we lived in a world full of lers?

[jj82277]

I have a question for all the lers out there...

Can you stand to be around someone sad or in distress?

i mean really. I think that the way that we respond to other people's emotional states in conventional interaction (like consoling the sad, listening to those in distress, calming those who are anxious, making people laugh throguh jokes and conversation...) can tell us a lot about why our subconscious has created this shared desire to tickle others in nonconventional scenarios (flirting, sessions, foreplay, intercourse...)


Often times i have an undying compulsion to make sure that everyone around me is happy and in a generally good state of mind. I wonder if anyone else out there like me is like this? i can't wait to see how everyone feels...

 

[Aimee]

I'm not a ler ... okay, I kind of am ... but is the question you're asking is if people around you are sad you should tickle them to make them feel better? OR when people are sad you think tickling will make them feel better?

I mean this is in tickling discussion so I assume it has to do with tickling somehow. I think I'm just confused.

 

[jj82277]

i was loosley asking if people who identify with having the natural proclivity to tickle someone (which creates endorphins and laughter etc.) would also have a more general psychological need to make people happy through conventional means like conversation comforting etc.

as far as tickling is concerned, i think that it fundamentally speaks to the larger general question of why we all are the way that we are and i would at least hope that in a group of people who have the same question knawing at their brain it would bare fundamental relevance to the shared proclivity that unites us all, but maybe i am reacing?

 

[rhiannon]

Lers want to make other people happy?? Wow. I don't think that is the motivation for MY ler!

 

[Feathery]

I am the type of ler who enjoys it most if the lee I am tickling either completely loves it, or at least has a love/hate relationship with it. The ultimate (for me) is a lee who is sexually turned on from tickling, so I suppose, by virtue of this I would be making her happy!

 

[ViperGTS]

As long as I am reasonably convinced that tickling the (female) friend will not only exacerbate the situation, yes, I am inclined to throw out random tickles to try and cheer her up.

 

[rhiannon]

If I am in a bad mood, tickling will do anything BUT cheer me up!

 

[Forest Fairy]

I have a question for all the lers out there... Can you stand to be around someone sad or in distress? i mean really. Often times i have an undying compulsion to make sure that everyone around me is happy and in a generally good state of mind. I wonder if anyone else out there like me is like this? i can't wait to see how everyone feels...

not sure I understand

 

[jj82277]

not sure I understand

i wam sorry, this is what i get for writing in a state of emotional vulnerability...

i have a natural love of tickling and am as ler as ler gets...

also, in GENERAL i like to make people happy when they are sad and ensure that everyone around me is having a good time and it really knaws at me when people don't seem enthused when i am around.

what i was saying is that i think my love of tickling is derivative of a need or intense deisre to make others (or in that case a female signifigant other) happy.

i was wondering if other lers have the same basic fundamental tendancy aside from tickling.... but i wrote it poorly.

 

[OmahaTickler]

As I've said before, I believe, as a tickler, that I'm a pleasure giver. I crave the feeling of pleasuring someone through tickling touch, and I think most ticklers have this, to some degree. Others may simply get off on a power trip or something.

 

[rhiannon]

I really seriously do not think wanting to make people happy and liking to tickle people has anything to do with each other. Most people I know will NOT get happy if you tickle them, they will get irritated and tell you to stop.

In my opinion, it's two totally different things which are more contradictory than anything.

 

[DimpleToes]

for me it would depend on the situation or the person if I even want them to tickle me. If it is someone I am not comfortable around or who is not part of TMF who is trying.. that would make me a bit uncomfotable and I might not react. I had someone in another group I belong to at a munch come up to me and grab my sides.. of course I jumped but saw who it was and smiled to not be rude and moved away from them for I did not want them to touch me.. EVER.

 

[Forest Fairy]

i wam sorry, this is what i get for writing in a state of emotional vulnerability...

i have a natural love of tickling and am as ler as ler gets...

also, in GENERAL i like to make people happy when they are sad and ensure that everyone around me is having a good time and it really knaws at me when people don't seem enthused when i am around.

what i was saying is that i think my love of tickling is derivative of a need or intense deisre to make others (or in that case a female signifigant other) happy.

i was wondering if other lers have the same basic fundamental tendancy aside from tickling.... but i wrote it poorly.

thank you for clearing that up. I have to admit that I think ticling people to make them happy is gonna get you nothing but smacked and a lot of very UNHAPPY people. Most people are simply not accepting of casual touch in any setting, much less in such a public one. Maybe that is why people seem unhappy around you (?).

Even if you do not give in to your urge to tickle, do you stand too close to pleople for comfort, etc and so forth. (I am simply looking for physical type cues here)

I think it is charming that you approach life with the idea of sharing joy and happiness with others but I think that means you have to be ultra careful about how you approach people and that you need to remember..

what brings you joy and happiness might royally anger someone else.

Melinda
(just thinking out loud)

 

[jj82277]

just top clarify again...

i wasn't talking about tickling people to make them happy...

i was talking about consoling those who are crying and generally cheering up people who look sad.

i am not and was not talking about going up to strange people and touching them in a familiar way or invading anyone's space PHYSICALLY.

what i was talking about is my general desire that everyone around me be happy and my need to express that by means other than poking them in the side...

i was wondering if other lers out there were like this (and once again i mean people who like to make people in general not by tickling them) and if it was a common root for the obvious shared enjoyment of tickling people which i think fundamentally represents causing joy in the most direct fashion, but again i was asking about people's interpretation of the world and the way they treat others not just if they had a random desire to tickle others...

and i wasn't insinuating that others are uncomfortable or unhappy BECAUSE I AM AROUND... just the fact that i feel likes its my job to make sure everyone enjoys themselves in life...

and these are the memoirs of a tragically misunderstood recovering psychology student....

 

[CrystalLight]

I like to see those that I'm close to happy and smiling, sure. But I'm not really sure that tickling can and will always be the best solution. Dependent on the issue at hand, sometimes the last thing they want is to be tickled and it could very well make a situation worse or uncomfortable if they are tickled without desiring it.

 

[rhiannon]

He isn't talking about tickling people to make them happy! He is talking about making people happy IN GENERAL. By, I don't know, buying them flowers or whatever will work!

 

[jj82277]

we even went so far as to ammend the original post...