What's up with Fetlife?

[kopfhorer]

I hear that they've all but banned depictions of certain extreme but not illicit acts. I also hear that they've deleted a boatload of user content. And they have lost their ability to accept credit cards (it's true - I checked it out).

Has anyone got more info about what's going on with FetLife? Personally, I'd hate to see it go, and I hope it never comes to that. In a world of sleaze and spambots, they're a class act.

 

[Nedstacey2]

I'm not sure either as I'm hardly a FL insider, but here's a post from apparently one of the most popular writers on there that has several internal and external links and seems to address all the topics you mention.

1,790 "loves." Yet still a paltry figure compared to the 6K+ friends Upstate N.Y.'s own foot and TK goddess NurseLizzy has there.

 

[cloudgazer2k]

For those needing a tl;dr: With the possibility of the "decency" police being reactivated, stricter anti-porn laws being enacted, and credit card companies enforcing decency policies, Fetlife has had to make huge changes to try and stay online. Things like consensual nonconsent and anything related to bloodplay has been removed from the site, from photos to the clickable fetish descriptions.

 

[porcelaindoll2]

https://fetlife.com/groups/311/group_posts/10326706

 

[porcelaindoll2]

A user who was pretty famous on there and well thought of got accused of raping a woman. The owner knew this would bring attention to FetLife, so any fetish or group that hinted at or said nonconsent (Rape, Forced, Hypno, and Consensual-Nonconsent to name few.) All got deleted out of the blue without a word. You also can't create new groups right now.

The no blood now rule was due to a merchant account that allowed them to process credit cards on FetLife. They randomly were told one of there banks would no longer process credit cards and were told they had to stop showing blood.

 

[duderino84]

I think porn should be less the focal point and sexually socially networking replace that. after a while, there's just images that are too over the top and too imaginary to "go back" and have an average happy sex life.

a bit off topic? sure. do I care? lol. ...

 

[cloudgazer2k]

...wut?

 

[duderino84]

I never really got to give fetlife a good shot because usually I see more pictures on people's profiles of their sexual achievements or getting whipped or bloodied or whatever than I really do see them. or like I said (or tried) previously. ..the porn aspect makes the networking aspect play secondary.

 

[porcelaindoll2]

I'm not getting what you mean by not really seeing them. I feel those pictures are showing you who they really are, that they are having kinky/sexual experiences, and let's you see what they are into.

It is a social networking site and the best description I can give is Facebook for kinky people. It was never really meant to be a dating site at all, but many have treated it that way. Since it is a networking site many professionals in the sex work industry use it as well.

 

[duderino84]

who is anyone "really"? I mean, power to the people or whatever, but sites like collarme already have a sort of negative reputation online (if only for leaving profiles out in the open) and I feel like fetlife isn't far behind.

people looking to explore themselves might just get the impression that being "kinky" is more or less everything the BDSM image is to people and get turned off. looking at what's out there in the tickling fetish, that's an even smaller blip on the map compared to the other fetishes.

it's generally not very active (for me at least) on fetlife other than message boards. all in all, maybe a little censorship might help stimulate the community and balance things out. I mean, that's the idea right? figure out how to generate traffic on a website and promote it?

I'm just speculating.

edit: as for the Facebook, I think old school myspace did things a lot better.

 

[chicago]

I guess people should reserve judgment of bdsm and kink until they have a better idea. Is it up to fetish sites to cater to non kinky folk?

 

[kopfhorer]

I'm not sure either as I'm hardly a FL insider, but here's a post from apparently one of the most popular writers on there that has several internal and external links and seems to address all the topics you mention. ...

That posting is a pretty solid read. Scary and informative all at once.

As an aside, would the forces of so-called morality want to shut down even sites that deal with something as seemingly innocuous as tickling? I'd put nothing past them.

 

[cloudgazer2k]

Maybe not tickling, per se, but anything with a kidnap/abduction element would probably be targeted first. If it even seems nonconsensual, even with a model signing a release form, any of the credit card companies that process the payments can call it a breach of ethics or somesuch and pull support.

 

[duderino84]

I guess people should reserve judgment of bdsm and kink until they have a better idea. Is it up to fetish sites to cater to non kinky folk?

This smacks of elitism. I'll clarify. So if someone's into tickling, they're into slapping, abrasian play, or anal beads? How about cuckold relationships? See where I'm going here? Why so open for basically no reason? A lot of the time I'm browsing fetlife is a lot of the times that I'll also see flesh hooks, genital piercings, etc. What I'm trying to say is as a whole it'd be healthier for a group that broadcasts itself as a "fetish network" if the extremes weren't seemingly all there were to see. Just because I'm into tickling doesn't make me want to know every other corner of the bdsm world. It's up to all websites to streamline content. It's not a bad idea for fetlife. In the past several decades we've opened up on the internet to a point where really the only way to go is backwards and learn how much is "too much"; just an opinion.

 

[chicago]

I understand the opinion. Its why I dont browse fetlife much lol Though what other folk are into largely doesnt bother me minus the really depraved illegal shit. If they had maybe a better search / filter function, Id be down for that.

 

[GEORGIATKLER]

I've never been to NEST, but have read here on TMF about the 100% consensual(and even overbooked) "kidnapping" role plays. Will the morality dragnet catch those eventually? I applaud the work done to stop underage sex traffic on Backpage. I know censorship when I see it, but having the power to counter it is key.

 

[duderino84]

I understand the opinion. Its why I dont browse fetlife much lol Though what other folk are into largely doesnt bother me minus the really depraved illegal shit. If they had maybe a better search / filter function, Id be down for that.

That would welcome creepers....I remember someone somewhere down the line developed some add-on or something for a browser that could do that.

Whatever happened to the age of meeting people randomly that wanted to go out and learn something about someone? IDK. That's what Facebook kind of took away with it's emphasis on privacy (and how companies also abused that same privacy).

 

[LurkLurkLurk]

That would welcome creepers....I remember someone somewhere down the line developed some add-on or something for a browser that could do that.

Whatever happened to the age of meeting people randomly that wanted to go out and learn something about someone? IDK. That's what Facebook kind of took away with it's emphasis on privacy (and how companies also abused that same privacy).

They brute-force guessed web addresses (which worked well due to FetLife's URL structure). Details on The FetLife meat market.