What's your opinion about artificial insemination?

[GirlWhoLikes2Laugh]

My Mom recently told me (she may not be accurate) that a lot of women are getting artificially inseminated (hope I spelled it correctly) to have children without men. I think there are advantages and disadvantages to this because they'd be raising the child alone unless they married after doing so. The advantage is that the women get to have a child who have not yet met their
Mr. Right and their biological clock is ticking.

What do other people think of this? Looking forward to all your replies.

 

[milagros317]

If a woman who is not in a committed relationship with a man wants to have a child, then it is an obvious alternative to adoption. Adoption can be very expensive and it sometimes difficult for prospective single parents.

It will be her own child, too, which is important to some people.

 

[GirlWhoLikes2Laugh]

If a woman who is not in a committed relationship with a man wants to have a child, then it is an obvious alternative to adoption. Adoption can be very expensive and it sometimes difficult for prospective single parents.

It will be her own child, too, which is important to some people.

I agree with you milagros.

 

[kered]

Not all women want a child without a man. Sometimes a couple, for whatever reason, can't conceive. My daughter is the result of artificial insemination for a couple very close to me. Of course, we haven't decided quite what to do if the question ever comes down to something medical regarding her. I'd give her whatever she needed if it came to that, but the cat would be out of the bag so to speak. Still, if she were in danger of that sort there would be no hesitation on my part and the secret be damned.

 

[isabeau]

welll said Kered...not all people who look for this option are doing it just because they don't want a husband..after i lost my last baby...some years later, my sister offered to do the artificial insemination..i turned her down as she has MS..and pregnancy was difficult enough for her..it's a lovely gift for someone who either cannot conceive, or who cannot carry a live baby to term..which was my case..

 

[the wiz]

The problem I have with this issue is; the fact that another child will grow up without a father. What going to happen when that child wants to know where his/hers father is, who he is; and why he doesn’t come to see them?

What will the mother say? “Sorry, you’re a test tube baby I just went to the store and pick out some sperm. To be honest, you’re a combination of about 5 different types of sperm. Oh, but it was very high quality sperm; nothing but the best!!!”

Just because we can do something like this doesn’t mean every one should. In case of the death of the child’s father, I agree; but just because some woman don’t want to deal with a man; I totally disagree.

Hell, we already have enough males rounding around confuse, dazed and bewildered

 

[goddess_nemesis]

My Mom recently told me (she may not be accurate) that a lot of women are getting artificially inseminated (hope I spelled it correctly) to have children without men. I think there are advantages and disadvantages to this because they'd be raising the child alone unless they married after doing so. The advantage is that the women get to have a child who have not yet met their
Mr. Right and their biological clock is ticking.

What do other people think of this? Looking forward to all your replies.

It's seems be the trend where women want to have a child, but haven't found Mr. Right. Particularly in Hollywood, the women don't care if they're married or not when it comes to being a mother. Look at Halle Berry, she's been unlucky in love, says she won't marry again, and is pregnant by her boyfriend.

As for artificial insemination, it's not just for single women who want a child if though they haven't found a guy to marry. But if a woman wants to do it that way, it's her choice.

The problem I have with this issue is; the fact that another child will grow up without a father. What going to happen when that child wants to know where his/hers father is, who he is; and why he doesn’t come to see them?

What will the mother say? “Sorry, you’re a test tube baby I just went to the store and pick out some sperm. To be honest, you’re a combination of about 5 different types of sperm. Oh, but it was very high quality sperm; nothing but the best!!!”

Just because we can do something like this doesn’t mean every one should. In case of the death of the child’s father, I agree; but just because some woman don’t want to deal with a man; I totally disagree.

Hell, we already have enough males rounding around confuse, dazed and bewildered

That's harsh, wiz. And you can use that same example for lesbian couples or gay couples. Heck, you could use a similar style for adopted children after they learn that they're adopted and want to know about their birth parents. 'Oh, your mother was a 16-year-old girl who got knocked up because she couldn't keep her legs closed but didn't want you.'

Some people want to be parents no matter what. That's what matters the most. If a woman wants to have a child by artificial insemination because she has the desire to be a parent, then how she raises that child is most important.

A lot of kids grow up without fathers, without mothers, and/or without both. Mothers and fathers are important in a child's life, yes, but without one or the other or both won't damage them as long as the child's parent raises them right.

 

[chicago]

With most people getting divorced these days, one sane parent is better than two too-preoccupied-with-their-own-problems-to-deal-with-their-kids-parents.

I think artificial insemination is a good choice for a woman who can handle the single-parent lifestyle.

Also, something to think about... there are thousands of other cultures that do things differently than we do, and still manage. Many other civilizations have one parent that handles the children, while the other is off doing a number of other things.

Just because our culture emphasizes the "Leave It To Beaver" type of living, doesn't mean it's the only way to live.

 

[tickledgirl]

I kinda think it's not a great idea myself. But my reasons are somewhat different from Wiz's/

All other things being equal, the healthiest way to raise a child with two parents. Sometimes that's not an option, and you do the best you can as a single parent. But choosing to raise a child as a child as a single parent seems irresponsible to me.

I can certainly understand the desire to have a child. But I strongly believe the most fundamental rule of parenting is that your children should come first. They have to be the most important thing for you. This is starting out by putting your desires ahead of the child's wellbeing.

 

[the wiz]

Sorry, I still disagree

I have family members and friends who lives a gay life style; they also have kids. it's hard enough on the kids to deal with their peers when their parent/ s is in a same sex relationship. however, they still know they have or had a father and mother. if that parent dies, the child/ren at least knows the parent did not abandon them.

But, a test tube? How do or when do you tell the child you were created from a tube? Unless there is a physical problem with one of the parents which make it easier for them to understand.

The child will always want to know the other parent.

Ex: I have a co-worker who just found out that his play uncle was really his father. He was born in the early 50's when having a baby out of wed lock was taboo. So, his mother never told him; but, he knew he was not like the other kids. he looked different and act differently than his brothers and sisters. it wasn't until he had a stroke at 50 that he decided to find out the real true.

Still his mother didn't want him to know until she had died; and was pissed that he persuade the issue until he found out. But, by the time he did; his father was dead.

His occupation is to help fathers build and keep relationships with there kids; but, he still have this big hole in is soul because his mother didn't tell him the truth.

It's seems be the trend where women want to have a child, but haven't found Mr. Right. Particularly in Hollywood, the women don't care if they're married or not when it comes to being a mother. Look at Halle Berry, she's been unlucky in love, says she won't marry again, and is pregnant by her boyfriend.

As for artificial insemination, it's not just for single women who want a child if though they haven't found a guy to marry. But if a woman wants to do it that way, it's her choice.



That's harsh, wiz. And you can use that same example for lesbian couples or gay couples. Heck, you could use a similar style for adopted children after they learn that they're adopted and want to know about their birth parents. 'Oh, your mother was a 16-year-old girl who got knocked up because she couldn't keep her legs closed but didn't want you.'

Some people want to be parents no matter what. That's what matters the most. If a woman wants to have a child by artificial insemination because she has the desire to be a parent, then how she raises that child is most important.

A lot of kids grow up without fathers, without mothers, and/or without both. Mothers and fathers are important in a child's life, yes, but without one or the other or both won't damage them as long as the child's parent raises them right.

 

[Bugman]

Some people want to be parents no matter what. That's what matters the most

Have to disagree on this one luv.That to me seems a rather selfish outlook on things.Look at Tony Randall the actor who fathered a child in his 70's.He did it in the normal manner as far as i know but i think thats a rotten thing to do to a kid.I seem to remember a woman in Italy who had artificial insemination done when she was in her 50's because she had always wanted a kid.Again a selfish act in my opinion.If someone cant get it done the natural way before that age i have to wonder why.I admit these are extreme examples.I also see what wiz is trying to say.Just because something can be done does not make it right in all cases.

 

[Vae]

Ultimately, it's up to the woman to decide. I don't think it's good for a child to have one parent (although I am perfectly aware that lots of single parents rear fantastic children). I think it's good to have two perspective growing up; it helps with well-roundedness. However, if a woman wants a child, and has no man in her life good enough for the position, then I see absolutely no problems with artificial insemination.

Really I see no problems with artificial insemination period. The above only references WHY a person may want artificial insemination, rather than the traditional method. I mean, I'm assuming lesbian couples do it a lot. Or people who are having trouble becoming pregnant. The reasons for the choice just need to be right; I don't see any issue with the process itself.

 

[tickledgirl]

Ultimately, it's up to the woman to decide. I don't think it's good for a child to have one parent (although I am perfectly aware that lots of single parents rear fantastic children). I think it's good to have two perspective growing up; it helps with well-roundedness. However, if a woman wants a child, and has no man in her life good enough for the position, then I see absolutely no problems with artificial insemination.

Really I see no problems with artificial insemination period. The above only references WHY a person may want artificial insemination, rather than the traditional method. I mean, I'm assuming lesbian couples do it a lot. Or people who are having trouble becoming pregnant. The reasons for the choice just need to be right; I don't see any issue with the process itself.

I'd agree with that. I have no problem with artificial insemination as a process. It's the goal of being a single parent that I have a problem with. I was a single parent for quite a while. Believe me, it's more than twice as hard as being part of a two-person team.

Ticklishgiggle, you mentioned that it was okay for people who can handle the single-parent lifestyle. How do you know if you're such a person? There's really no way to describe how your life changes when you have a child. You have to experience it. What happens if you have a child, and it turns out that you're not??

 

[goddess_nemesis]

Have to disagree on this one luv.That to me seems a rather selfish outlook on things.Look at Tony Randall the actor who fathered a child in his 70's.He did it in the normal manner as far as i know but i think thats a rotten thing to do to a kid.I seem to remember a woman in Italy who had artificial insemination done when she was in her 50's because she had always wanted a kid.Again a selfish act in my opinion.If someone cant get it done the natural way before that age i have to wonder why.I admit these are extreme examples.I also see what wiz is trying to say.Just because something can be done does not make it right in all cases.

Even though the woman would make a great mother and raise a terrific kid. How you become a parent shouldn't matter as long as you are a good parent and raise your child right.

And limiting a single woman's choices to only adoption like milagros said, you still have to explain to that child why he or she doesn't have a father.

A woman could get pregnant the natural way. Have sex with the same guy or multiple partners and hope to God that she gets pregnant. She doesn't have to tell the guy that she's pregnant and that he's the father. She can keep the child and raise him/her by herself without the guy. And she would still have to explain to the child why he/she doesn't have a father.

Artificial insemination would just be a little bit less messy.

 

[drew70]

I've always looked at artificial insemination as akin to being fed a chocolate sundae intravenously. You get all the negative side affects but miss out on the pleasurable part of the experience.

 

[steph]

Every once in awhile old fashioned values rear their ugly head for this proud feminist. I grew up in a home with a father who was present but shouldn't have been and a "stand-in" mother who sucked just as bad while my real mom, thousands of miles away, would have been a great influence if not for the distance.
Bottom line: I think HOW you get here (petrie dish or what have you) is MUCH less important than the life you live out after you've arrived.
I think a strong role model, BOTH M & F is essential for raising an emotionally healthy child, whether they're related by blood or not.
XOXO

 

[cloudgazer2k]

artificial insemination also holds a good possibility for a couple to have a child if the gentleman in question has weak sperm or is, for one reason or another, infertile. the few couples i know that did go through the process did it because the Mister was not capable of producing strong-enough sperm to fertilize.

 

[tickmankyle1]

i have thought about that for having a kids cause i would love to be a dad and i feel that i'm getting out of my years of being at my prime of being able to take care of i kid. i don't want to be 40 before i have my first kid. i think jen is like me i could be wrong but feels like they will never get married and want a kid and if being a single mom to have a kid is what you have to do then so be it. i could be wrong and i'm not trying to put words in someones mouth but that is what i feel. i here it every day from my parents when are you going to get a ft or get married or have kids. i just kinds want to inpragnate if i spelled that right a women so i can have a kid cause i'm the last male in my family to pass on the family name and that means alot to me.
i think if you want to do that it is a great option for people who want kids who the mom or dad can't or just like me single and wanting a kid. later kyle

 

[Fire_Sprite]

While I sadly lack the vocabulary to articulate it as well as Kyle, I do agree that its a perfectly viable option to have a kid. Though in my opinion you are better off consummating one naturally. Even if its only for one night and your kid never even meets their father, they'll want to know who he was. Even a bad answer is better than no answer at all. While knowing they were born from a loveless science experiment might not be emotionally crippling, you can bet that it will certainly have an effect on them.

 

[GirlWhoLikes2Laugh]

I just think that if a woman is say somewhere in her 30's and has not yet met Mr. Right, she might consider getting artificial insemination. I mean she may get married buy hey, there's no guarantees in life. I guess it depends on how important it is to the woman to have a child.

 

[DLazarus]

Hi again Jen,
I see no problem with Artificial Insemination. If the lady wants a child and doesn't have the opportunity to get pregnant naturally, the AI is a great choice.

Don

 

[GirlWhoLikes2Laugh]

Hi again Jen,
I see no problem with Artificial Insemination. If the lady wants a child and doesn't have the opportunity to get pregnant naturally, the AI is a great choice.

Don

Thanks for your support Don. I think that some of the women who get A.I do it because they want to have a child and for what ever reason hasn't found their Mr. Right. It's not that they don't want to be with a man but us ladies do have a biological clock while that's one problem that guys don't have. I think that especially women who are only children would more likely get A.I if they really felt their biological clocks ticking and they want to have kids rather soon.

As for later on explaining to the child as to why they don't have a Dad, well that's just something the Mom would just have to deal with later somehow. I mean life isn't perfect but it can still be very good.