When do you learn to accept who you are?

[melanie2]

I'm not talking just this lifestyle, but when in your life do you finally accept who you are? It's taken me most of my life to finally accept who i am and to be happy about it..i've learned to accept the fact i'll never be a mother..i've learned to accept the fact that my mother couldn't help what she was..that her disease was as real as any physical disease, and that disease eventually killed her as any other type might..

I've learned to accept my body for what it is..for years i've obsessed over my weight..made sure i weighed no more than 110lbs..that changed when i turned fifty and nature took over..i'm not big, but i'm not 110 any longer..i exercise, i don't eat much, but i do drink..i just don't obsess over it anymore..what i am, i am..i've learned to accept being happy finally..it took mom's death to release the inner me that was just waiting to emerge..that sounds awful, but it's true..

I've learned to accept that i'm kinky..that i have always been kinky..in my mind..bondage and the idea of being dominated etc. is what turns me on..

I've learned to accept that my husband will never be kinky..that doesn't make me love him less..

I've learned to accept that i am a submissive..i have always been a submissive, even before i heard the term BDSM..

 

[QueenBeeBeeMari]

I have no idea.I don't think there is an exact age set since we don't all mature at exactly the same time,rate,age,ect.Some mature faster then others.Some are ready to leave home by age 18,others not until they are 21 and some as early as 16.It depends on the person themselves.

 

[Fallon]

I've learned to accept that I'm perfect the way I am. It's everyone else that needs work.

 

[Orichalcum]

I think I was able to do it after I had graduated from high school. It took me some times though.

I have no idea.I don't think there is an exact age set since we don't all mature at exactly the same time,rate,age,ect.Some mature faster then others.Some are ready to leave home by age 18,others not until they are 21 and some as early as 16.It depends on the person themselves.

True, and I guess I could say that experience also plays an important role in this matter. No matter how old you are, but if you've never learned, you won't be able to accept yourself and be accepted by the others.

 

[melanie2]

Let me make this clear that this is not an age thing...for me it took til now..but for others it can or could happen at any time of your life..it might have happened to me at a much earlier age, if i'd been more confident, stable, and less anxious..

 

[kopfhorer1]

I've learned to accept that I'm perfect the way I am. It's everyone else that needs work.

There ya go! That's the ticket!

And by the way, what is the difference between acceptance and resignation?

 

[melanie2]

hmm beats the hell out of me..lol

 

[QueenBeeBeeMari]

Okay,well,then it's a self esteem thing and some never do accept themselves.

 

[Rox_My_Sox1]

When you realize that unless you live long enough that you can either get a nanite injection to change your appearance, gender, or age your pretty much stuck the way you are.

 

[CellarDweller]

Wow.....I wonder if any really accepts themselves 100%. I know I accepted my sexuality at 27.

I'm 41 now, and there are somethings I accept about myself.

I'm gay.
I'm kinky.
I'm 41 and happy with getting older.
I'm balding and so what?

There are somethings I'm not accepting with, and trying to change. My weight is one, and I'm having success with that.

 

[CellarDweller]

And by the way, what is the difference between acceptance and resignation?

I'll take a shot at that.

Acceptance is when you are happy with something the way that it is.

Resignation is when you are not happy with something, but decide to stop trying to get change on the matter.

 

[Rubyfruit1]

It's a process, for me, anyway. For me, it has been a few things at a time, and I'm okay at that pace. Though it did take me a long time for me to say "I'm okay. This is part of me, and I'm okay" due to my upbringing in a really strict church environment where I was told, constantly, that I wasn't okay and I needed fixing.

But that's another rant.

 

[Journia]

The moment you learn to accept who you are, is the moment you learn to tell the critics to go sit on a tack, and actually mean it, and then not care about the situation afterward.

 

[idiot756]

I learned to accept the fact that no matter how hard I tried, fate simply did not want me to "fit in" with normal people (because the way that I think is drastically different than how most people do - as is evident in my likes and dislikes) when I was 15 years old. I did a lot of maturing at that age. I had a few "revelations" I guess you might say. I branded myself a social outcast and a loser, and I wore those titles with beaming pride. I stopped trying to fit in and decided to completely do my own thing - "If people are going to call me weird no matter what I do, they should at least know the real me", I said.

I ended up gaining the respect of a few other social outcasts in the high school for doing that, and I felt good about that. By my senior year, I felt like a wise mentor for the 11th graders who thought I was cool. At prom, when I walked in (alone of course - I had no date) during the senior march and my name was called, I got the loudest cheers, which really surprised me (in a good way). It also might have something to do with the fact that I was the nicest guy in school, but... *shrug*

Now I'm 21 years old, I see myself as "one sexy man" (thanks to my long hair) and I'm very proud of my individualism. I've never thought of myself as weird, but after I heard what people thought about me, I began describing myself as "eccentric" - the majority of smart people are. Although I sort of don't want to grow up and be an adult, I think I'm finally ready to start...but I think I'll always be able to relate to teenagers lol I know, I'll probably eat those words when I'm 40.).

 

[AnnoXanti]

The idea that I am forever trapped in this body and being is enough for me to accept myself from the start. It is an irreversible truth, while things can only improve depending on how one deals with own fate.

Self-acceptance get even better for me when I reached 20's.

 

[Relent<]

what i am?
well, it wasnt until i hit my current state of young adulthood that i started looking for the terms to match the definitions I'd acquired.
I never knew what to call myself other than "me", so everything else was just subsequent.

 

[Slaver123]

The idea that I am forever trapped in this body and being is enough for me to accept myself from the start. It is an irreversible truth, while things can only improve depending on how one deals with own fate.

Self-acceptance get even better for me when I reached 20's.

(Hold on- gotta stop my "Id" from saying something about your Gorgeous Female Body.....)

OK. "...forever trapped in this body and being..." I wish life were like science fiction where you can copy yourself or switch into artificial bodies or totally upload into a computer (NOT a windows machine!) But we can't. We're stuck.

(Warning, this gets weird)

But this limited lifespan CAN be eternal, in a way- even if there's no soul. Maybe we ourselves die and know nothing afterwards, but I believe our LIFE lives on- not just as some memorial or memory. It's hard to explain but I've seen it- certain actions and experiences are "eternal", you can almost see the reverberations go out into infinity. And I don't mean just the "big" events.

It's a little like "The Butterfly Effect" things happen that are connected to loose ends in the past and then once they happen it makes perfect sense, like they've always been set up that way. I've seen it happen to other people too, from the outside looking in; I've seen people experience something small that I KNOW becomes a recurring memory that lasts their whole life. (Example; I drove past 2 kids, brother and sister, having a catch in their front yard on a hill and it's like an "aura" was there. No way I can prove it, but I'll bet at least one of them remembers that day for 20 or 30 years from now as something special.)

Well, I'm sure that muddies the waters...

(This is one reason I like the new "Dr Who" series so much- I can relate to his non-linear perception of time)

And BTW Isabeau, you seem like the nicest person in the universe....

 

[HalfElven]

I think it differs for everyone, I know people who still don't like or accept who they are. Even sadder is the people I've known who have passed away not accepting or liking who they were.

As for me it was in high school, I was skinny with crooked teeth and curly frizzy hair. I was made fun of daily and to tell the truth I hated myself more than those who made fun of me. Then I met Gail, she was beautiful, smart, funny, and she chose me. Every guy in that school was after her, but she chose me. We only had two years together and then she was taken from me by a drunk driver. In the short time we had she taught me so much about life and about love. Two of the greatest gifts she gave me was, first and foremost her love. The second was the ability to accept who I was and even to like who I was, regardless of what anyone else thought of me.

" No matter how many friends you have, or how many people say they love you. You'll never be truly happy until you accept and love yourself."
Gail
1983

 

[Sadistictickler]

it happened somewhere on my way out of puberty. I made the decision that people had to accept me the way I am or simply get the hell out of my way. I'm not a normal person so I basically select people on whether they're open minded enough to accept that, and if they are, my door's open and we'll see what happens from there.

 

[tickle_fan031]

Hmmm I'm 24 and I haven't accepted who I am. I've been desperately trying to since the age of 14-couldn't wait to get older with the hope that things would get better for me-but as of yet things haven't. Coz of problems I had in my early teens I grew up pretty quick-which sucks now coz I missed out on my teenage years. Ho hum.
One day I hope to accept who I am. Not gonna loose hope anyway. Although I think it's pretty cool to hear or see other peole in real life accepting who they are.

 

[johndthe2nd]

Thought id add my bit to this....

I aswell as evidently many others have had a struggle to accept who I am, I ashamed to say that it has held me back in my teenage years. I assume we are talking about this tickle fetish environment?? What makes us tick etc. Anyway I do understand even if this is not directly what this is relating to, I have felt that because I am not the typical mainstream guy who is not entirely overwhelmed off breasts and sex, that im not normal n always worried about how I would ever have normal relationship with a girl, but im obviously im not alone, as there are many guys n girls here and everywhere that share the same experiences.

I dont have the answer, as I too still have troubles at times, if i knew i would still have all my friends i have now if they new about my personaly life n there werent really bothered, i would be alrigt them knowing, i think its the fear of being classed as a weirdo freak who likes feet, i can see it now lol

But no i take strength from communities like this, which lets be honest are fantastic, love this place n its free! I think finding a suitable partner in life is one key issue here, another is treating whatever makes u feel an outsider or different as not weird, ones mind is a dangerous thing, for me i feel alot of my troubles are self destructive.

 

[AnnoXanti]

Very introspective. Thanks.

Don't get me wrong, I don't have physical deformities to start with. I don't have so much misfortunes as well to throw away youth in both hands. It is my universal outburst when I mentioned being trapped in this body. It means I can only take care of what I have, make it better or watch it fall in oblivion or self-destruction.

I can see the depth of what you are saying and energies that make each person are more than physical. So much into it, but I'm just quite beat due to RL tasks lately. For all it's worth, even though realities are tough at times, it is more than tolerable at least. Life has always been satisfying and good. I'm an optimist, btw.

(Hold on- gotta stop my "Id" from saying something about your Gorgeous Female Body.....)

OK. "...forever trapped in this body and being..." I wish life were like science fiction where you can copy yourself or switch into artificial bodies or totally upload into a computer (NOT a windows machine!) But we can't. We're stuck.

(Warning, this gets weird)

But this limited lifespan CAN be eternal, in a way- even if there's no soul. Maybe we ourselves die and know nothing afterwards, but I believe our LIFE lives on- not just as some memorial or memory. It's hard to explain but I've seen it- certain actions and experiences are "eternal", you can almost see the reverberations go out into infinity. And I don't mean just the "big" events.

It's a little like "The Butterfly Effect" things happen that are connected to loose ends in the past and then once they happen it makes perfect sense, like they've always been set up that way. I've seen it happen to other people too, from the outside looking in; I've seen people experience something small that I KNOW becomes a recurring memory that lasts their whole life. (Example; I drove past 2 kids, brother and sister, having a catch in their front yard on a hill and it's like an "aura" was there. No way I can prove it, but I'll bet at least one of them remembers that day for 20 or 30 years from now as something special.)

Well, I'm sure that muddies the waters...

(This is one reason I like the new "Dr Who" series so much- I can relate to his non-linear perception of time)

And BTW Isabeau, you seem like the nicest person in the universe....

 

[melanie2]

hahaha me the nicest person on the universe...well being too nice can get you kicked in the teeth..but thanks Slaver for the compliment..and you guys amaze me..congrats on discovering this early...i wish i had..but it's never too late..

 

[kopfhorer1]

I'm cultivating a bad attitide. Not a gratuitously nasty one, mind you. I'm learning to stand up for myself and be just enough of a bastard to tell people who diss me for no reason to go piss up a rope (in a very polite and civilized manner, you understand!).

" No matter how many friends you have, or how many people say they love you. You'll never be truly happy until you accept and love yourself."
Gail
1983

Word.

I'm glad you had someone like Gail in your life however briefly, and it sucks that you had to lose her.

 

[Frost King]

Only afew friends of mine actually accept me for who i am but i don't care what others think i'm who i am and thats all that matters. and two of my heros have taught me to walk my own path not anyone else's so it was really two of my hero's that helped me accept myself and i thank them for it.