when do you tell?

[tickle00000000]

Hi,
I'm really into bondage and tickling. Since I haven't had a gf in a while I don't have much experience with it but i know i really like it. How long would you wait until you tell a girl your with that your into that kind of thing. Tickling you can kind of work in and it's more widely accepted, but should you tell a girl your into bondage right a way or wait a while. I kinda figure if shes not into that sort of thing it would be better to stop the relationship early then letting her get hurt by waiting to long. If there not into it there not going to change and start liking it will they?

Any ideas would be apprieciated.

-Cody

 

[dcbahr]

My thoughts are this:

If the girl is open, and you feel that you can trust her, you should tell her after awhile. I'm in a relationship where I told her relatively quickly because I trusted her to feel ok with it, she was hesitant, but you shouldn't break off a relationship just because they're not in to one thing. You need to compromise and communicate.

I wish I could say there is this exact time when you tell, but really it's just got to feel right, as vague as that is. The worst thing that can happen is that she says, "well it's not really my thing," in which case you shouldn't just let her go, but maybe persist a little bit. The persistance comes though after trust is initiated, if you two don't feel trust, and both have to feel it, then nothing will be gained from disclosure. It's not a general thing, purely individual.

I hope that helps a littl bit,
Dave

 

[Koshi]

My thoughts are this:

If the girl is open, and you feel that you can trust her, you should tell her after awhile. I'm in a relationship where I told her relatively quickly because I trusted her to feel ok with it, she was hesitant, but you shouldn't break off a relationship just because they're not in to one thing. You need to compromise and communicate.

I wish I could say there is this exact time when you tell, but really it's just got to feel right, as vague as that is. The worst thing that can happen is that she says, "well it's not really my thing," in which case you shouldn't just let her go, but maybe persist a little bit. The persistance comes though after trust is initiated, if you two don't feel trust, and both have to feel it, then nothing will be gained from disclosure. It's not a general thing, purely individual.

I hope that helps a littl bit,
Dave

Agreed. Good post. Even if they aren't completely into it, usually in relationships you just compromise and when fooling around, it's always good to be open about what the other person is into. Usually they're willing to try it out and let you have your fun occasionally.

 

[Aragon]

I usually start with the tickling first as well, less invasive. I like goosing the girl or maybe find an opening to tickle her armpits or feet. The reaction tells me more. The bondage, well, I slowly bring it up with a few other kinks, just to see if she likes that sort of thing. I make sure I guage her reactions. Just take it slowly and carefully.

 

[Redmage]

I think it's less about when than how. These days (like, for the last 10-12 years or so), I've met almost all of my partners through the kink community. So we both know from the get-go that we're into this sort of thing. But before then, what I would usually do was wait until we'd confirmed that we were sparking sexually (after we'd made out a time or two), then I'd pin her hands while we were playing. If she responded well to that then I'd suggest a little bondage.

Maybe I was just lucky in my choice of partners, but it worked pretty well.

 

[nitez_forever]

personal experience

i found with my ex that i didn't tell her about my 'fetish' for tickling until about 4 months into the relationship, but when i did it was great. she revealed she was into bondage and all sorts of doors opened up. im now with someone i care for a lot more and i told her about it after about 2 weeks, knowing i could trust her, she now endulges in it all the time and its great because shes vastly more ticklish than my ex!! lol. hope that helps cody

 

[scarface786]

I can tell you from my own personal experience that no one except yourself can tell you when it's the right time. Every person and relationship is different. But trust me you will know when the time is right. Good luck!