Why do people "come out" about their tickling fetish?

[SpiffyTickler]

Now, don't get me wrong. My question isn't why don't people just keep their fetish locked up in a closet somewhere. But why is this something that people feel they need to "come out" with? Something worth making an announcement to their SO about like it's big and momentous?

Is this something that people feel can't naturally come out on its own in their sex lives? That you can't just start slowly incorporating tickling during a makeout session, or as a thing you do after introducing them to bondage, and so on, where it just naturally takes on a prominence in your sex life as something you like to do instead of something you have to do a press conference about?

I've never had to sit anyone I've dated down and explain to them clearly that I'm into bondage and tickling. It just naturally comes out through sexual play. And I don't think that the reason is that I've just been lucky and had a long string of girls that were against all odds into this stuff. It was just never an issue, and even if some girls weren't completely into it, they were still fine with it to a degree.

Now, if you're dating someone that's very sexually inexperienced then I can understand why. But otherwise, I'm a little miffed at all of the threads on here about people coming out, or seeing their therapist because no one will accept their tickling fetish, and I have a feeling it's because people are either placing far too much importance on the idea that this is a thing you have to verbally come out about, or are just really bad at selling the idea to whoever their dating.

 

[Mane'o]

Different strokes for different folks.

 

[mustang]

I think for most it isn't a matter of wearing one's fetish on his sleeve for all to see. It is a matter of not hiding and feeling shame about our fetish. No one should get a bullhorn and shout that they have a tickle fetish from a street corner. For most, I think, coming out is a psychological catharsis. It has been said that we are as sick as our secrets. There is something to that. In my own case, I just don't try to hide it. If the subject comes up I just say, 'Yeah, I like to tickle feet, so what?' It is a matter of being psychologically free. Before I was willing to come out, I was very neurotic about being discovered. Now, that I am willing to come out when the occasion comes up, I feel much more free...nothing to hide. For instance, sometimes at social gatherings my wife says that I love to tickle her feet. Before I came out this would have mortified me. Someone will always say something like,'What's up with that?' I just say that I have a fetish for feet. The best thing about it is that no one cares.

 

[chicago]

Some people are into it on a different level than a playful makeout thing and for me, I don't wanna deal with forming a relationship for weeks or months or years only to find out after feelings have developed, that this person just isn't into it at all. I'd rather get it out in the open early on so I can keep it movin if we just don't mesh.

 

[robmic]

Some people are into it on a different level than a playful makeout thing and for me, I don't wanna deal with forming a relationship for weeks or months or years only to find out after feelings have developed, that this person just isn't into it at all. I'd rather get it out in the open early on so I can keep it movin if we just don't mesh.

I can relate to your feelings concerning tickling. I have tried relationships while hoping for the best, only to have them sour when tickling doesn't fit in. So, like you, I would bring it up early one way or another, and see what happened. Some times it flew and some times it didn't. Usually, when it did, it was great. Otherwise, I would move on.

 

[Raytheon]

Id say its on the same socially suicidal slate as your hobby being train spotting (mines not btw ) How do you tell the sexy girl in your bed whos way out of your league that you want to put on a yellow anorak and go sit in the rain on a bridge for hours on end writing down the identity numbers of choo choo trains. So you sit her down on the edge of the bed, you get all nervous and squeamish she asks you 'whats wrong darling', you say theres something you've got to tell her, she thinks 'oh god hes got chlamydia' ... you clam up and bumble those words quietly out your mouth 'i like train spotting' she looks at you says 'seriously? is that all it was? i thought you were breaking up with me' and then you take her to your favorite local steam gala and spend a romantic day playing tongue tennis at the back of a private carriage.

 

[AudreyL13]

Well since I just posted something similar to this I will share.

The last boyfriend I had was the first I had told about my fetish. I told him I liked to watch videos and he made fun of me and called it my "tickle porn" and would chastise me. I now have a different boyfriend who I have told that tickling turns me on but I haven't told him that I actually watch videos on it and read stories...

As someone earlier said it can be a hard topic to bring up because of the fear of someone thinking that you're "weird" or different because it is a fetish that isn't openly talked about in normal conversation like if you are an ass or boobs man. At least thats my take on it based on personal experience.

 

[Mane'o]

there is probably a positive correlation between how much tickling is a part of one's intimate, sexual identity and sharing love of tickling with others. If tickling is just something one enjoys with no sexual connection "coming out" may be less of a problem or maybe not even considered. Hope your current bf reacted in a supportive way when you told him Audrey.