Why is Father’s Day (on June 15th) mostly ignored?

[Arob]

I don’t know anybody that takes this special occasion seriously. Most years i don’t even think to call my Dad on June 15th ...

A good father and son combo shouldn't need a ceremony to acknowledge their bond - there's no cake or ice cream required and no gift cards are ever exchanged. Possibly some power tools are returned, but that's about it...

But this year I'm taking Pop to see Mongol which is a historical epic that begins with the story of a father and son in outer Mongolia in 1162. They had a bond - the boy grows up to be Ghengis Khan.

What are you going to do on Father’s Day?

 

[BrightEyes1082]

I don't make a huge deal out of Father's day because my dad has never really been a dad to me, even when my parents were married. He's never cared that much about my brother or me. We still reach out to him occasionally, especially on Christmas and Thanksgiving. We do reach out on Father's Day too, but last year he was too busy with his latest man-toy to be bothered by a Sunday afternoon with his kids. So this year, I don't know that I'll do anything.

I do, however, have a great relationship with my mom. I make a huge deal out of Mother's Day, and always have. For the last four years, I've taken my mom to Hilton Head Island for Mother's Day weekend. I get a ritzy resort hotel or condo, and treat her to an awesome few days. She loves it, and I love that I can provide it.

I'm not griping about my parents, because as lousy as my dad is, my mom is better than most peoples' parents combined, IMO.

That's great that you're doing something special for your dad. I hope you both make some great memories.

Amanda

 

[CrystalLight]

The difference's between Mother's Day and Father's Day are huge..

Yes, for the most part it is equally celebrated...but you need to remember:

Who carried you for 9-10 months?
Who fed you, breast or otherwise?
Who went through X amount of hours in labor to bring you into this world?
Who did you run to (again, for the most part) when you we're hurt or scared?
Who cared for you when you we're sick?
Who put their needs behind them to make sure you grew OK?

....The list really goes on.

For the most part, MOM will be the answer to those questions..

Although situation's with many are different.. But it all come's back (In my opinion) to the process of carrying a child, forging a bond with him/her before she/he even enter's the world.

For most that run's deeper then a father's care or love.

 

[Saeria]

I guess in my world father's day has a split meaning. My dad has always been great, weird but great. Just recently, after a series of years of being severed from my parents, i have started talking to them again and i can't even begin to express how awesome it's going to be to spend father's day with my dad for the first time in almost 8 years. He is a man that truly deserves a day in his honor.

My daughter's dad, on the other hand, well, that's a different story. All animosities aside, i just can't see celebrating someone who has spent the entirety of his child's life ignoring her. It's really something when a 6 year old says "i made daddy a present, but he never likes the presents i make for him, can i give it to you instead?" The "my dad is a dead beat scum" trend is really growing, i guess. Perhaps this is the reason why Father's day gets to be overlooked sometimes. Too much anger directed toward too many poor fathers. It would make it much clearer as to who we were celebrating if we referred to it as "Daddy's Day". Clearly there is a difference between a daddy and a father.

 

[Goodieluver]

Because like the legal world, theres a bias towards the mum instead of the father

 

[subZer0]

Well, I hope this thread doesn't descend into a slanging match about whether a dad is better than a mum.

Crystal - we know about who carried us, etc etc, and for that I'm very grateful to my mum, and my wife for my boy. But my dad has done things for me in my life that my mum simply could not. He taught me to weld, fix cars and bikes, home DIY, the value of money, the list goes on. The way I see it; it balances out (as long as you've got a good mum and dad) in the long run. I know that I owe my dad a great debt of gratitude, and will honour that again this year.

Father's Day is overlooked somewhat because, like me, I would prefer for it to be another day that I spend with my boy, and not a 'titled' day. It's far too pink and fluffy for my liking, and I reckon I'm not alone. I simply don't like being made a fuss over.

 

[subZer0]

Because like the legal world, theres a bias towards the mum instead of the father

I agree with you to a certain extent, Goodie - still, every case has to be judged by its own merits.

It's sad, but it also appears that more men are bad fathers than women are bad mothers. It's those that have ruined it for the rest.

 

[Stevereeno]

Society probably doesn't celebrate father's day much because everybody still blames the fathers for their problems... wives blame their husbands for the unhappy marriages and divorces. Most mothers get custody of the kids in the divorce settlements and then they poison the young minds by telling them how shitty their fathers are. There's lots of unnoticed misandry going on. Take a look at all those TV shows that portray husbands as stubborn ignorant fuck-ups that don't ask for help.

Even though women have become more independent, lots of men still take on the role as a workaholic thinking money is what it takes to attract a woman. Lots of men missed the memo on a sense of humor, flirting, great sex, emotional adventure, and on how a relationship takes time and effort to develop.

 

[venray]

The difference's between Mother's Day and Father's Day are huge..

Yes, for the most part it is equally celebrated...but you need to remember:

Who carried you for 9-10 months?
Who fed you, breast or otherwise?
Who went through X amount of hours in labor to bring you into this world?
Who did you run to (again, for the most part) when you we're hurt or scared?
Who cared for you when you we're sick?
Who put their needs behind them to make sure you grew OK?

....The list really goes on.

For the most part, MOM will be the answer to those questions..

Although situation's with many are different.. But it all come's back (In my opinion) to the process of carrying a child, forging a bond with him/her before she/he even enter's the world.

For most that run's deeper then a father's care or love.

Mother's day and father's day are psuedo holidays like many others set up by retailers and wholesalers to sell goods...

We should not need a day set aside to honor those that brought us into the world and saw to it we were cared for...

(I did all of the nightly feedings for all of my kids and took care of them when they were sick....)

It isnt just mom who is the caregiver these days......

 

[slap'n'ticklee]

First off, I don't really agree to these 'special days' as really we should appreciate and celebrate our family every day and not just on a specified date each year to sell goods, (well of course this is if you've had a good family as I know a lot of people haven't).

Actually Fathers Day is not ignored by me, my Dad means a hell of a lot to me as does my Mum and sister. I buy my Dad gifts and a card on Fathers Day and he tells me off as he says not to bother, he's like that and the sort to tell me to spend my money on something more worthwhile (when how can something be more worthwhile than my own Dad or parents lol). But I know what he means, but I love buying gifts for loved ones, especially as I know that mostly its something he's wanted, even (at that time), if its a marketing tool on the heart strings by the manufacturers and advertisers.

I appreciate all that he does for me and I hate to admit it that I don't tell him nearly enough. I must change that.

 

[KrazieDog]

Who carried you for 9-10 months?
Who fed you, breast or otherwise?
Who went through X amount of hours in labor to bring you into this world?
Who did you run to (again, for the most part) when you we're hurt or scared?
Who cared for you when you we're sick?
Who put their needs behind them to make sure you grew OK?

....The list really goes on.

For the most part, MOM will be the answer to those questions..

Although situation's with many are different.. But it all come's back (In my opinion) to the process of carrying a child, forging a bond with him/her before she/he even enter's the world.

For most that run's deeper then a father's care or love.

I totally agree on most of the points. That bond is closer in my opinion, pre forged in the womb. And that mom connection (assuming no strained relationship) is usually tighter and always is. It is for me also.

With that being said, my dad is the freaking man. I respect that and love that guy for everything he is. Other than carrying and giving birth (which isn't his choice to make) my dad fulfilled every one of those other points.

He bandaged boo boo's many a time, including the bad ones that required a trip to the hospital, looking into split open wounds smiling about it, reassuring me that they were nothing and I'd be ok, instantly comforting me in my own mind that I wasn't going to die.

He did back breaking work for a looong time when he could have done something else to make sure my brother's and I were taking care of and had everything we needed. Never ever complaining about it, and still finding his free time to do a lot of things with us.

I can't count the times when I had a really high fever and would wake up in the middle of the night to him coming in to check on me, or waking up to him sitting on my bed reading and keeping an eye on my sickness with a cold compress even thought he had to leave for work early in the morning. Now my mom did this as well, and a lot of times they did it together, but he is as good as husband and he is a father.

Beyond all that, as SubZero said, he taught us sports, hunting, fishing, automotive, gun and tool safety, was at every event I participated in, school or sport, when he wasn't at work, etc. The list goes on and on. Does he expect or want anything done on Father's Day? No not really. It's just how he is and I think a lot of fathers are like that. He wants us to do it for mom on Mother's Day, but could really care less for anything more than a phone call on FD.

So in closing I agree 100% that mom is Mom, the greatest person on earth, and always will be. I also know a lot of my friends have strained relationships with their dad or are part of divorced homes and never made that connection, and it saddens me. I wish everyone could experience a great dad. I just wanted to point out that there are some outstanding ones out there, and they do a job right up there on par with mom, and are content living in the shadow of the smiles of their kids. I can only hope to be one just like them. Now I'm getting all misty and have to go call my pop.

 

[CrystalLight]

Oof..I stepped on a Daddy Nerve..let me fix..

Everything that I listed and spoke about was simply in my opinion, and all I could pull from that.

As much as fathers play an extremely influencial role in a childs development, the only reason I could think of as to why Mothers Day MAY be more celebrated then Fathers Day is due to the deeper connection a mother and their child have, that is forged way before birth.

I can't much relate to the topic of Fathers Day.

 

[maniactickler]

I think cause most dads could give two craps about that holiday. or most holidays for that matter.

 

[Strider]

My relationship with my dad is strained at the best of times, so, needless to say, Father's Day has never held much of a glow for me.

 

[chicago]

I think for the most part, many people see dads as getting off easy when it comes to having children. I mean, they don't go through the physical pain of carrying and having a child and in many societies, including ours, the mother is responsible for raising the child, with the dad right behind her in certain disciplinary circumstances.

And for many, their dads run out on them, never to be seen or heard from again.

I commend all the good dads out there who care for children, whether it be their own biological kids or ones they've adopted in one way or another, and while I pretty much just met my dad two years ago, I won't be forgetting him this June.

 

[RobAce]

Father's Day is not so much ignored as it is not a big "seller".
Mother's Day is a chance to sell flowers, clothes, take Mom out to eat since she cooks, jewelry, etc....

Dad, not so much. Maybe some power tools, meat so he can grill out. Thats about it. I know place like Home Depot and Lowes make a big to do about Fathers Day. Not to mention when fall arrives, Dad has two days every week. It called college and NFL football season.
And of course for most fathers the biggest holiday of all....Super Bowl Sunday.

And I do understand where Crystal is coming from about that special bond between a mother and child, but never underestimate that bond with a father and his children also. I was the father who talked to them, sang to them every night when they in their mother. They reacted to my voice when they heard it. And me and my little girls have a deep bond as well. Different but by no means any less significant. I was the first to see them and hold them in the outside world. And many other things I did during and after have strengthened that bond.

Again, to me with my children...the bond they have with their mother and myself is equally strong, just in different ways.

Rob

 

[steph]

Same here. Ain't no thang...By the time he figured out what I was worth and wanted back in my world, I was long gone, in every sense of the word.
XOXO

My relationship with my dad is strained at the best of times, so, needless to say, Father's Day has never held much of a glow for me.

 

[Mitchell]

When I was younger, my family used to get together with my grandfathers for Father's Day, and with my grandmothers for Mother's Day.

Father's Day actually means little to me, because, as most forum members know, I have been estranged from my father for a long time. I havent spent Father's Day with him since 2002. He always makes a big deal out of it, like "OMG, Father's Day, so you have to kiss my crown". Well, Father's Day to me is just a celebration of one day, for someone who is father 364 other days out of the year. My father doesnt get that. He feels he has to be sucked up to unconditionally. Not gonna happen.

For myself, when I have kids, I'm the type who doesnt like everyone to stop their lives for me. If they asked me what I'd want, I'd probably be like "Get me a little gift if you want to, and have one meal with me that day, even breakfast, and if you want to, and your friends are available, go about your business". I plan for my kids to mean everything to me, and however they would feel comfortable acknowledging me on Father's Day, would be okay with me. They'd have my love, unconditionally, forever anyway.

Mitch

One other important point, on a more general, non personal, note. I think Father's Day is often ignored, because, unfortunately, many fathers arent very close to their children, or even in their children's lives at all. I'm sure there are some very, very loving and caring fathers out there, but when you think about how many divorces there are, and fathers who dont see their children, it is usually the mothers who are present to nuture the children. For this reason, I think Mother's Day is a much more acknowledged day than Father's Day,

 

[Namie]

My Dad was good to me, my Mom and my siblings. He worked a lot so he wasn't there all the time, but he was as good a father as I could ask for, and I always looked forward to Father's Day to tell him that I loved him and to celebrate his commitment to our family.

 

[Ferbtones]

in my family its not really ignored. we give my dad cards, and a present but we dont force him into things he dosent want to do (lunch, a family party) most years he spends it with us, maybe at a lake or the beach then to a nice resturant, or other years he likes to go on a boat and reminsince about his own father.

yet on mothers day we always alwayss take my mother out to brunch, then to my aunts house.

idk. maybe its just celebrated differently.

 

[subZer0]

Oof..I stepped on a Daddy Nerve..let me fix..

Everything that I listed and spoke about was simply in my opinion, and all I could pull from that.

As much as fathers play an extremely influencial role in a childs development, the only reason I could think of as to why Mothers Day MAY be more celebrated then Fathers Day is due to the deeper connection a mother and their child have, that is forged way before birth.

I can't much relate to the topic of Fathers Day.

I do understand where you're coming from, Crystal. I'm just a tad too sensitive when it comes to things like this - I don't want men to be thought of as any less, for any reason. I suppose it's an inferiority complex born out of bearing the brunt of ill feeling towards my gender brought about by the crimes and other shameful things almost always associated with them.

It's difficult for me to stop being sensitive to this, but it keeps me determined to be thankful for the opportunity to do things right for my boy and any other kids we might have, and in doing so, erase just a little bit of prejudice, and also be thankful to my dad and step-dad, both of whom are owed a great deal.

Deep, I know. Oh well, I hope we can all swim!

(Free armbands to all...)

 

[KrazieDog]

Oof..I stepped on a Daddy Nerve..let me fix..

Everything that I listed and spoke about was simply in my opinion, and all I could pull from that.

As much as fathers play an extremely influencial role in a childs development, the only reason I could think of as to why Mothers Day MAY be more celebrated then Fathers Day is due to the deeper connection a mother and their child have, that is forged way before birth.

I can't much relate to the topic of Fathers Day.

No worries Jo, I never took it as a dig at all fathers, as I've seen you speak on your relationship, or lack thereof, with your dad in the another thread. I understand where you are coming from, and I agree with your opinion on the topic as to why MD is more celebrated than FD. I was more or less giving a shout out to the upstanding ones out there. I know you of all people take parenting seriously and don't take cheap shots at great parents regardless of who they are. I have a deep a respect for good parents, especially those who have to play both rolls and step to the challenge to the best of their ability.

 

[DimpleToes]

I think it is awsome for those fathers who do have a good realtionship with there children.. personally I never knew what a father was untill I got married.. My father in law was the best... Charles Ingales on Little House on The Praire.. he tought and showed my husband what it is like to be a father.. it is a shame that we are not able to have our own children to pass on that knowledge and love of what a father is..

 

[unclebill]

There is alot of dad trashing in this thread, and I am sad for all of the members who have little or no relationship with their fathers. I am one of the lucky ones who has a wonderful mom and dad. I am forever grateful to my dad for all he did for me. He worked six days a week when I was a youngster to better provide for the family since my mother was a stay at home mom, and still found time to teach my brothers and I to ride bikes, play ball, work on cars, etc. And like Venray and Rob, I have been there for my two daughters from day one. Carrying a baby for nine months is hardly the criteria for being the better parent.

 

[CrystalLight]

There is alot of dad trashing in this thread

There is no Father Trashing occuring in this thread, Hon.

Just friendly Discussion.

And like Venray and Rob, I have been there for my two daughters from day one.

That is very commendable of you. Really.

Carrying a baby for nine months is hardly the criteria for being the better parent.

Nobody implied that it made the mother a "better" parent..It just was an attempt to shed light on the question as to why many might Assume that Fathers Day tends to be a bit more under-celebrated then it SHOULD be.

I can understand your confusion.

Hope that helps.