Would you let your 7 year old boy become a transgender?

[drew70]

I saw a rather disturbing video at www.cnn.com which told the story of a seven year old boy who wanted to be a girl. The parents resisted at first, but at the age of 7 they let him become a girl. Now I don't want to insult anybody who's undergone such a transformation, but in my opinion, seven years old is way too young.

I couldn't see any way to post that video here, but if you want to see it, go to www.cnn.com and look around the middle of the page for a section called Watch Video.

 

[ViperGTS]

There is not option of 'letting' him/her be what he/she is.

 

[Capnmad]

When I was seven, I told my parents I wanted to be a whale.

They stuffed me full of krill and brine shrimp, stripped me naked, threw me in the ocean, and drove home without me.

Interestingly, these events were unrelated.




...I sooo need a Steven Wright DVD right now...

 

[PainTrain]

Absolutely ludicrous. Parents seem to be a sandwich short of a picnic, eh?

 

[Iluv2Btickled]

Things sure have changed....


When I was 7, I was trying to figure out how I could be a mail box for Halloween.

I wanted to be a great musician when I got older....still do

This boy wants to change his sex. Well they must have money to do that and must truly want a daughter instead of a son. Oh well.

 

[NavelTickler75]

He/she was far too young to do this, and his/her parents should have made the child wait, while supporting the fact that he/she was really a female, until the child came of age. Then they should have done this.

 

[911]

I would pray to God that he grows out of it. But no a seven year old can't make choices like that.

 

[Knox The Hatter]

Uh...

Absolutely
NOT!

 

[maniactickler]

Id beat his ass first.

 

[Azrael]

Is there a genetic element, here..?

It is possible for a visible "boy" to in fact be predominantly, genetically, female. Childbirths of indeterminate gender are rare, but they do happen, and they can take many forms. A child might have outwardly visible signs of both genders, or they may appear predominantly male or female but in fact, genetically, be split down the middle (or even more inclined towards the opposite of what they appear).

I know a person who lived the first three decades of their life as something they, literally, weren't supposed to be; it's been a difficult transition for them, to say the least.

If there is in fact a physical / genetic element to this, I'd say that fixing the problem while the kid is still a kid is the best way to go.

If there isn't, and it's just a seven-year-old boy saying he wants to be a girl..? Well, when I was 7, I wanted to be an elf, a knight, an astronaut, a superhero, or a fireman, depending upon what book I was reading. I'd say that isn't the best input to base a gender switch on...

But, then, the whole idea sounds so utterly ridiculous, that I can't help but think there's simply got to be more to the story.

 

[brianspencer66]

I too saw the report on the national news about this child. And well it seems this child was born with some sort of gender disorder. This child is very distressed at the idea of being born with a penis and indeed wants to be a little girl. Im told this condition is called Dyshoria and is detemined by a odd mixture of genes and hormonal imbalance.
I would honestly not know how Id handel somthing like this with a 7 year old but if it was a consistant serious wish coming from a child that age a parent would be able in most cases to spot it as oppossed to wanting to be a cowboy or power ranger or some nonsense.

 

[kered]

A seven year old is, in my opinion, not mature enough in body and mind for that sort of dramatic life changing event. I wonder what sort of mental and physical problems that kid will encounter as the body matures? Counseling and hormone therapy is tough enough for many adults, I've heard. I'm also wondering about this kid's parents. Would they have gotten this seven year old a nice new Buick to drive if he begged enough?

 

[milagros317]

Seven years old is just nowhere near mature enough to make such a decision.

 

[lk70]

If in fact this is a case of legitimate gender disorder then I think they did the right thing.

 

[goddess_nemesis]

I doubt this was just a passing fancy of a child wishing to be something they're not like a superhero or whatever. There's more to this story than what we see and hear.

How long has this child expressed his need to be a girl instead of boy? How many sessions with the doctor to determine if the child truly did have a gender disorder? How many nights the parents have spent awake, racking their brains if it's best to do this now or to wait? None of you really know.

I don't know what I would have done in the place of the parents, but I trust that they've done everything they could, talked to doctors and other professionals, and have done what is best for their child.

 

[lespieds]

I'm also wondering about this kid's parents. Would they have gotten this seven year old a nice new Buick to drive if he begged enough?

This statement really bothered me but I will be as civil as possible - Buicks are for old farts, and to subject a 7 year old to one is going to ruin his chances of socialisation. hahahahahah!

Anyways, yeah, maybe they should hold off on any drastic moves right now.maybe when he is in his teens if he still feels strongly about it...

 

[NavelTickler75]

If in fact this is a case of legitimate gender disorder then I think they did the right thing.

I'd likely disagree. They should support what their child is, but wait till the child is older, to go through the surgery. We don't know what this will do mentally to the child.

Note that of course mentally the child would be a mess in school had they not and growing up, but we're talking a major surgery here.

 

[kered]

This statement really bothered me but I will be as civil as possible - Buicks are for old farts, and to subject a 7 year old to one is going to ruin his chances of socialisation. hahahahaha

Old farts with money. This old fart polished his with Mother's Paste Wax.


As for this seven year old boy, if his doctors thought there might be something seriously physically wrong and the operation was really needed then there might not be much for the parents to decide. If the kid wanted to be a girl for any other reason I'd take him to other help. Once the operation is done there will be no going back.

 

[lk70]

I'd likely disagree. They should support what their child is, but wait till the child is older, to go through the surgery. We don't know what this will do mentally to the child.

Note that of course mentally the child would be a mess in school had they not and growing up, but we're talking a major surgery here.

Really? You think having gender reassignment surgery is LESS traumatic during or after puberty? I don't know- there has to be a medical certainty on this, otherwise, why not just let the kid dress female til then? Who'd know?

 

[Scared]

I'd likely disagree. They should support what their child is, but wait till the child is older, to go through the surgery.

Despite the fact that it is so much easier to make the transition before puberty? For adults, the amount of pain and trauma is much greater -- the electrolysis alone takes several sessions a week for over a year and costs thousands, not to mention the other secondary sexual characteristics.

We don't know what this will do mentally to the child.

On the other hand, we DO know what growing up in the wrong body will do to a child . . . and it is NOT good.

We're talking a major surgery here.

The World Professional Association for Transgender Health (often considered frustratingly conservative) says the following about transgender children:

Phenomenology. Gender identity disorders in children and adolescents are different from those seen in adults, in that a rapid and dramatic developmental process (physical, psychological and sexual) is involved. Gender identity disorders in children and adolescents are complex conditions. The young person may experience his or her phenotype sex as inconsistent with his or her own sense of gender identity. Intense distress is often experienced, particularly in adolescence, and there are frequently associated emotional and behavioral difficulties. There is greater fluidity and variability in outcomes, especially in pre-pubertal children. Only a few gender variant youths become transsexual, although many eventually develop a homosexual orientation.

Commonly seen features of gender identity conflicts in children and adolescents include a stated desire to be the other sex; cross dressing; play with games and toys usually associated with the gender with which the child identifies; avoidance of the clothing, demeanor and play normally associated with the child's sex and gender of assignment; preference for playmates or friends of the sex and gender with which the child identifies; and dislike of bodily sex characteristics and functions. Gender identity disorders are more often diagnosed in boys.

Phenomenologically, there is a qualitative difference between the way children and adolescents present their sex and gender predicaments, and the presentation of delusions or other psychotic symptoms. Delusional beliefs about their body or gender can occur in psychotic conditions but they can be distinguished from the phenomenon of a gender identity disorder. Gender identity disorders in childhood are not equivalent to those in adulthood and the former do not inevitably lead to the latter. The younger the child the less certain and perhaps more malleable the outcome.

Psychological and Social Interventions. The task of the child-specialist mental health professional is to provide assessment and treatment that broadly conforms to the following guidelines:
1. The professional should recognize and accept the gender identity problem. Acceptance and removal of secrecy can bring considerable relief.
2. The assessment should explore the nature and characteristics of the child's or adolescent's gender identity. A complete psychodiagnostic and psychiatric assessment should be performed. A complete assessment should include a family evaluation, because other emotional and behavioral problems are very common, and unresolved issues in the child's environment are often present.
3. Therapy should focus on ameliorating any comorbid problems in the child's life, and on reducing distress the child experiences from his or her gender identity problem and other difficulties. The child and family should be supported in making difficult decisions regarding the extent to which to allow the child to assume a gender role consistent with his or her gender identity. This includes issues of whether to inform others of the child's situation, and how others in the child's life should respond; for example, whether the child should attend school using a name and clothing opposite to his or her sex of assignment. They should also be supported in tolerating uncertainty and anxiety in relation to the child's gender expression and how best to manage it. Professional network meetings can be very useful in finding appropriate solutions to these problems.

Physical Interventions. Before any physical intervention is considered, extensive exploration of psychological, family and social issues should be undertaken. Physical interventions should be addressed in the context of adolescent development. Adolescents' gender identity development can rapidly and unexpectedly evolve. An adolescent shift toward gender conformity can occur primarily to please the family, and may not persist or reflect a permanent change in gender identity. Identity beliefs in adolescents may become firmly held and strongly expressed, giving a false impression of irreversibility; more fluidity may return at a later stage. For these reasons, irreversible physical interventions should be delayed as long as is clinically appropriate. Pressure for physical interventions because of an adolescent's level of distress can be great and in such circumstances a referral to a child and adolescent multi-disciplinary specialty service should be considered, in locations where these exist.

Physical interventions fall into three categories or stages:
1. Fully reversible interventions. These involve the use of LHRH agonists or medroxyprogesterone to suppress estrogen or estosterone production, and consequently to delay the physical changes of puberty.
2. Partially reversible interventions. These include hormonal interventions that masculinize or feminize the body, such as administration of testosterone to biologic females and estrogen to biologic males. Reversal may involve surgical intervention.
3. Irreversible interventions. These are surgical procedures.

A staged process is recommended to keep options open through the first two stages. Moving from one state to another should not occur until there has been adequate time for the young person and his/her family to assimilate fully the effects of earlier interventions.

Fully Reversible Interventions. Adolescents may be eligible for puberty-delaying hormones as soon as pubertal changes have begun. In order for the adolescent and his or her parents to make an informed decision about pubertal delay, it is recommended that the adolescent experience the onset of puberty in his or her biologic sex, at least to Tanner Stage Two. If for clinical reasons it is thought to be in the patient's interest to intervene earlier, this must be managed with pediatric endocrinological advice and more than one psychiatric opinion.

Two goals justify this intervention: a) to gain time to further explore the gender identity and other developmental issues in psychotherapy; and b) to make passing easier if the adolescent continues to pursue sex and gender change. In order to provide puberty delaying hormones to an adolescent, the following criteria must be met:
1. throughout childhood the adolescent has demonstrated an intense pattern of cross-sex and cross-gender identity and aversion to expected gender role behaviors;
2. sex and gender discomfort has significantly increased with the onset of puberty;
3. the family consents and participates in the therapy.

Biologic males should be treated with LHRH agonists (which stop LH secretion and therefore testosterone secretion), or with progestins or antiandrogens (which block testosterone secretion or neutralize testosterone action). Biologic females should be treated with LHRH agonists or with sufficient progestins (which stop the production of estrogens and progesterone) to stop menstruation.

Partially Reversible Interventions. Adolescents may be eligible to begin masculinizing or feminizing hormone therapy as early as age 16, preferably with parental consent. In many countries 16-year olds are legal adults for medical decision making, and do not require parental consent.

Mental health professional involvement is an eligibility requirement for triadic therapy during adolescence. For the implementation of the real-life experience or hormone therapy, the mental health professional should be involved with the patient and family for a minimum of six months. While the number of sessions during this six-month period rests upon the clinician's judgment, the intent is that hormones and the real-life experience be thoughtfully and recurrently considered over time. In those patients who have already begun the real-life experience prior to being seen, the professional should work closely with them and their families with the thoughtful recurrent consideration of what is happening over time.

Irreversible Interventions. Any surgical intervention should not be carried out prior to adulthood, or prior to a real-life experience of at least two years in the gender role of the sex with which the adolescent identifies. The threshold of 18 should be seen as an eligibility criterion and not an indication in itself for active intervention.

I had to look up Tanner Stages, so here's that information, too, for males:

Stage 1 (Prepubertal)
1. Height increases at basal rate: 5-6 cm/year
2. Testes
1. Smaller than 4 ml or long axis <2.5 cm
3. Pubic Hair
1. No coarse, pigmented hair
4. Penis Stage
1. No growth

Stage 2
1. Height increases at basal rate: 5-6 cm/year
2. Testes
1. Size 4 ml or long axis 2.5 to 3.2 cm
2. Age 11.5 years (age 9.5 to 13.5 years)
3. Pubic Hair
1. Minimal coarse, pigmented hair at base of penis
2. Age 12.0 years (age 9.9 to 14.0 years)
4. Penis Stage
1. Earliest increased length and width
2. Age 11.5 years (age 10.5-14.5 years)

Stage 3
1. Height increases at accelerated rate: 7-8 cm/year
2. Testes
1. Size 12 ml or long axis 3.6 cm
2. Age 14.0 years (11.5-16.5 years)
3. Pubic Hair
1. Coarse, dark curly hair spread over the pubis
2. Age 13.1 years (11.2-15.0 years)
4. Penis Stage
1. Increased length and width
2. Age 12.4 years (10.1-14.6 years)
5. Other Changes
1. Gynecomastia may occur (age 13.2 years)
2. Voice breaks (age 13.5 years)
3. Muscle mass increases

And, for completeness, in females:

Stage 1 (Prepubertal)
1. Height increases at basal rate: 5-6 cm/year
2. Breast
1. Papilla elevation only
3. Pubic Hair
1. Villus hair only
2. No coarse, pigmented hair

Stage 2
1. Height increases at accelerated rate: 7-8 cm/year
2. Breast
1. Breast buds palpable and areolae enlarge
2. Age 10.9 years (8.9-12.9 years)
3. Pubic Hair
1. Minimal coarse, pigmented hair mainly on labia
2. Age 11.2 years (9.0-13.4 years)
4. Modifications based on increasingly earlier Puberty
1. White: Stage 2 changes may appear one year earlier
2. Black: Stage 2 changes may appear two years earlier

Stage 3
1. Height increases at peak rate: 8 cm/year (age 12.5)
2. Breast
1. Elevation of breast contour; areolae enlarge
2. Age 11.9 years (9.9-13.9 years)
3. Pubic Hair
1. Dark, coarse, curly hair spreads over mons pubis
2. Age 11.9 years (9.6-14.1 years)
4. Other changes
1. Axillary hair develops (13.1 years)
2. Acne Vulgaris develops (13.2 years)

There are more stages, of course, but one to each side of the cited stage should help you pinpoint it.

That said, this was an opinion question, originally. Viper's right; it's not a choice. Treatment options are the real question. Given professional opinion on the matter, I would not countenance surgery on a seven-year-old. I can, however, see why many TG people see the system as the enemy; there's very little respect for the patients there.

I would allow the child to wear clothing appropriate to her real (rather than apparent) gender, however, and change the name if necessary. If I were sending the child to school, I would fight for recognition of her real gender there, and teach the child how to fight that battle. I would not allow the child to move faster than the experts require, but I would not require her to move slower, either . . . and if she disagreed strongly enough with the restrictions, I would support her in lobbying and/or protesting within the law. I would be prepared to discuss the advantages of staying closeted (more likelihood of 'passing' as the real gender) or not (one can't lobby from the closet, and societal realities force most TG adults to remain closeted).

Of course, I would hope it was a passing fancy, but if it's not, denial won't make it go away . . . and I'd rather fight on the side of my child than against her, and I'd do almost anything to avoid the sort of thing that happened to Brandon Teena.


Related link: http://www.transkidspurplerainbow.org/pdf/10questions.pdf

 

[NavelTickler75]

Really? You think having gender reassignment surgery is LESS traumatic during or after puberty? I don't know- there has to be a medical certainty on this, otherwise, why not just let the kid dress female til then? Who'd know?

That is something I MIGHT do, let him dress female, till he came of higher age.

 

[Azrael]

I'd likely disagree. They should support what their child is, but wait till the child is older, to go through the surgery. We don't know what this will do mentally to the child.

Note that of course mentally the child would be a mess in school had they not and growing up, but we're talking a major surgery here.

Based upon previous cases that received widespread publicity, I'd see this as a very bad way to proceed. If the child is genetically more female than male, this being the presumption upon which this statement was made, it would be far more damaging to have them live as something they are not, and deal with the massive social and societal repercussions they would be bound to face... not to mention personal insecurities, anxiety, and other psychological issues.

If a child had a golfball-sized tumor on the side of their head that was not, otherwise, harmful, would you make them live through their teenage years with it because surgery is traumatic? In ten years, this seven-year-old won't remember a surgical procedure, but if he's still being made to live as a boy... parental acknowledgement, or not... there's going to be real damage.

(Again, this statement assumes that there is some genetic involvement here, which it sounds like there -may- be)

 

[NavelTickler75]

Despite the fact that it is so much easier to make the transition before puberty? For adults, the amount of pain and trauma is much greater -- the electrolysis alone takes several sessions a week for over a year and costs thousands, not to mention the other secondary sexual characteristics.


On the other hand, we DO know what growing up in the wrong body will do to a child . . . and it is NOT good.


The World Professional Association for Transgender Health (often considered frustratingly conservative) says the following about transgender children:


I had to look up Tanner Stages, so here's that information, too, for males:

And, for completeness, in females:



There are more stages, of course, but one to each side of the cited stage should help you pinpoint it.

That said, this was an opinion question, originally. Viper's right; it's not a choice. Treatment options are the real question. Given professional opinion on the matter, I would not countenance surgery on a seven-year-old. I can, however, see why many TG people see the system as the enemy; there's very little respect for the patients there.

I would allow the child to wear clothing appropriate to her real (rather than apparent) gender, however, and change the name if necessary. If I were sending the child to school, I would fight for recognition of her real gender there, and teach the child how to fight that battle. I would not allow the child to move faster than the experts require, but I would not require her to move slower, either . . . and if she disagreed strongly enough with the restrictions, I would support her in lobbying and/or protesting within the law. I would be prepared to discuss the advantages of staying closeted (more likelihood of 'passing' as the real gender) or not (one can't lobby from the closet, and societal realities force most TG adults to remain closeted).

Of course, I would hope it was a passing fancy, but if it's not, denial won't make it go away . . . and I'd rather fight on the side of my child than against her, and I'd do almost anything to avoid the sort of thing that happened to Brandon Teena.


Related link: http://www.transkidspurplerainbow.org/pdf/10questions.pdf

Well no aruments there, I just would wait for my child to come of age. I've always believed in home school anyway, so no teasing from that point of view, and let him or her do sports in little league, so there's that.

 

[drew70]

I keep reading phrases like "wrong body" and "gender disorder." I personally don't believe there's any such thing, apart from birth defects in which children are born with both sets of genetalia. In this kid's case, they went entirely by his effeminate preferences such as dresses, dolls, and the color pink.

I couldn't help but feel bad for Dad. That silly twit Paula Zahn did her best to paint him as an intolerant prick because he objected to the idea. Yeah, like every Dad is supposed to be exuberantly enthusiastic at the idea of his son wearing dresses and playing with dolls.

If you're born with both genetalia, then you can choose which to keep. But if you're born with just one set, THAT's what you're supposed to be. You've already got the right body, you just need to accept it and go with it.

 

[Knox The Hatter]

Scared's reasoning makes sense.

I wonder if the child's parents already had frontal lobotomies...