ichiBear has been posted

I know only too well the sacrifices one has to go through due to parental pressure.

I'm feeling for you...if you ever need to chat, I'm just a PM away.

Well I read it and and many more people will. It's what journals and blogs are for. Dump the brain trash to focus, ya know? Anyway, I feel for you in the situation you are in. I really respect you trying to make your parents happy, as I respect mine very much also. BUT, in the end you are responsible for making you happy hon. Trying to follow Islam, or some preconceived notion of what your parents "think" is best for you will not make you happy. Them maybe, but not yourself.

Having a grownup sit down conversation with them may be beneficial to you all, but if they are as strict and set in their ways as they sound, it may just end up making you feel bad for "letting them down". It's the parents job to teach their kid about the world and keep them protected growing up, but once the kid reaches adulthood, that is the time they make their way in the world. You are going to have to forge your own way. You have a strong enough sense of what you are starting to want for yourself, and more importantly, what you do not want. So start focusing on the ways to achieve what makes you happy. A boyfriend is not the only way out of that house. I don't know your situation as to whether you are still a student, or working, but a job would be a good start toward saving up to move out. That can entail finding a friend that you trust that is looking for a roommate, or just looking for a roommate in the area. If you are still in school, what is the dorm situation like?

The bottom line is, while pleasing our parents is a great feeling, sometimes our parents don't know what's best for us and in your case, you have an even stricter situation than most. Start finding the ways for you to achieve your independence, and with that, living "your own" life, independent of what they "think" is best for you. When you achieve that, YOU decide whats best for YOU, including love also. Good luck in your search for happiness.

That's why parents suck. But then you gotta do your own thing, which is why you move out of the country like I will!