Advice on conflicting fetishes

[shygirl08]

So, I've met some really amazing people here and in the chat room. I absolutely love chatting with them and most I've come in contact with have a foot fetish along with our shared tickling fetish.

I have nothing against feet... I'd love to tickle their's if they wanted! And I'm trying to be open to having my feet tickled: they are >EXTREMELY< ticklish. I'm just not sure how to indulge their fetish, but also mine as well. I mean we have the tickling in common which is huge, but it's hard for me to relate to the foot issue. I WANT to get on the same page with them because what's more fun than giving someone what they want and turning them on? And also because I care.

I think it would be helpful for me to have them explain what feet do for them and what it is about them that makes them hot, but then when I try to answer the question for my interests.. it's hard! It's just.. hot! lol Maybe if they could show me some clips/videos they like? That's another issue is that I've not had my feet tickled much in my life.. not sure really why but there it is.

My question is.. how do I communicate that I'd love to talk about that, but also talk about the spots I like.. without shutting down both sides? Any thoughts?

 

[Coda]

Reading this post seemed to do that adequately. Start by having your chat partners read it once. I'm with you -- I'm really just as fascinated to learn about other people's fetishes as my own, even if they're so different that my intuition can't even help me guess why others have them. So, it does a lot for me when people I chat with at least want to exchange attempts to delve and try to communicate about them, find common ground, and so on. If you can't find words, then sure -- if you're both open to it, starting with clips, pictures or stories that exemplify what you like could certainly provide a starting point and lead to specific questions.

 

[Freethought]

Asking these kinds of questions is a great way to start! I think a lot more women would be curious to explore these kinds of kinks if most of us guys were not so creepy and pushy about it.

Explain why I like feet? I wish I could. I grew up in a very strict fundamentalist home with absolutely no exposure to erotica, but I can remember noticing feet for...well, as long as I can remember.

 

[YouNeverKnow175]

I think what you just wrote does a great job at communicating what you want. So it seems you already know 🙂 Being curious about others' interests and needs is great, as long as they're curious and interested in yours too - and you can tell people that's important.

In terms of the specific question about feet - I mean, I think the tickling piece is the same...feet are really ticklish. In terms of appreciating their beauty - I agree, it's kind of one of those things - they're just hot, to me, and have been since I was a little kid (when I was three, I told my mom I wanted to be a foot doctor - when she asked why, I said, "So I can tickle them!").

I think there's something about feet being a "hidden" part of the body which is a piece of it - you don't see them all the time, people keep them private, so there's something about seeing someone's feet that is like having a secret part of them revealed. They're intimate in that sense. Also, they're generally soft, sensitive, very shapely - which are all erotic qualities. There's a book called "Sex Life of the Foot and Shoe" - which I've actually only read a little bit of....but it might provide some insights too.

 

[shygirl08]

Being curious about others' interests and needs is great, as long as they're curious and interested in yours too

I think this may be where I run into trouble. Once I get talking about feet with them, they're not interested in hearing about mine. *shrug* Maybe that's the turn off.. not sure.

Thanks for the insights though! These are helpful.. I can relate to the feelings even though the spot is different. 🙂 Cool.

 

[t.bone5863]

You've already expressed the most important quality: Communication. Open, honest, non-judgemental communication. That's the best place to start, and it will lead to understanding if not agreement.

As for my fascination with feet: Other people on this thread have explained it adequately, I believe. Although I would like to build a little on what YouNeverKnow175 said about feet being a 'hidden' part of the body: The worst thing about summer coming to an end is that sandals and flip-flops go back into the closet!

 

[ticklechambers]

Can I just add- NOTHING. haha everyone above covered it very nicely 🙂 You seem like a smart person so i'm sure you'll figure it out. *hug*

 

[BrightEyes1082]

I think this may be where I run into trouble. Once I get talking about feet with them, they're not interested in hearing about mine. *shrug* Maybe that's the turn off.. not sure.

Thanks for the insights though! These are helpful.. I can relate to the feelings even though the spot is different. 🙂 Cool.

If a guy only wants to talk about feet and nothing else, especially
the things you're interested in, I would not waste any time talking
to him. I've found that those are the guys who are only talking to
women for their own personal fodder, not because they're interested
in getting to know us.

 

[Ticklerguy4u]

I think you need to know your audience. Typically lees tend to desire their own feet where lers tend to have interest in other's feet.

 

[proud2tickle]

Once again I agree with bright eyes (it's to scary) let a guy get to know u for u. When it comes to feet i think each and every guy is going to be different. Me personally I have a tickling fetish that juts happens to encompass my favorite spot to tickle being the feet.... I am not solely (no pun intended) interested in a girls feet if they aren't ticklish. I do like to lick and bite a woman's feet but only if there is a chance it tickles them some..... To me underarms is my second favorite and I think they reason why I like both so much is a) ninja turtles April oniel got me set on tickling, b) those to are the most difficult places to tickle a Someone. I mean anyone can poke anyone in the side or grab a knee. Underarms are a little easier to get too but not as common, and to tickle someone's feet u really have to make an effort. And lastly I like to tickle them because u can really render someone helpless by tickling feet, even though they are so hard to expose once u have someoene feet helpless they cant really do much but beg and plead (if u don't gag then) and laugh. With just the slightest wiggle of a finger up a girls sole u can subject her to a painless torture that she never realized before how easily her feet could be used against her. Also u have to think some guys like nylon and some like bare. Me personally, I dont really care for nylons, I enjoy bare feet because I love to feel soft ticklish soles against my finger tips with skin on skin contaxg and I love using things like feathers and qtips and fake claws... Plus it's hard to floss someones toes with a shoe string of they aren't bare..... This might not have helped u at all. But it's all I got

 

[proud2tickle]

oh and on last thing people are gonna like different sizes, like i enjoy sie 7 to 11 to tickle because i always tickled older girls who i had crushes on and grown women when i was younger and a size 8 foot to a 12 year old is huge. plus once they get to size ten its fun to humilate your lee telling her she has the biggest most ticklish feet you have ever seen

 

[hockeygolf13]

You should for sure just not talk to guys who aren't interested in what you like. When I was single and talking to a lot of girls, I would tell them of my foot fetish, but ask if they had anything they liked. None of them really did, except for one that happened to love being tickled, but I still asked. Just keep being open to the foot thing and wait for someone to be genuinely interested in what you like.

 

[dr_random]

Glad to see that everyone is giving solid advice. Some of that advice I'd like to echo, like the one about ignoring, or at least paying less attention, to those who have the very single minded and somewhat selfish view of how chatting should go about. If they persist on only indulging themselves and not giving anything back, then you may be wasting your time. I'm sure there are plenty of men and women here who would have no problem sharing their fetish while at the same time allowing you to share yours. The trick, I guess, is to find them.
When you're chatting with some one, just bring up what you like, simple as that. If they ask about your feet or talk about feet in general, that's fine, you've mentioned you don't really have a problem with that. But you if you then bring up, and this is just an example, "Oh, by the way, I really enjoy having my underarms tickled." and they continue to ignore a simple, straight forward remark like that? Then it might be time to move on to the next person and maybe direct them to this thread.
Anyway, I've gone on long enough. Good luck!

 

[playfuldude]

Much has been covered well. I might add that feet as wel las the body as a whole sort of resembles a musical instrument. Pluck, or stroke the string and you get music. Poke, tickle, or rub the feet (feet being many folks on here's fav) or another part of the bod and you get "music" in the form of laughter, moans, oohhs, and aahhhs, and hopefully alot of smiles.. So in an entertainment aspect another man or womans body become an instrument of enjoyment, hopefully for both parties.. I also tend to think that like a nice lamp having a fitting or proportionate lampshade, or a car with nice rims; feet compliment the rest of a womans body to the point of just wanting to admire, and explore them further. Hope that makes a lil sense..

 

[Freethought]

I am really concerned about the growing number of mature, interesting conversations taking place on this forum😉

 

[shygirl08]

Okay, thanks to everyone who's trying to tell me what they love about feet. That isn't the point of this thread, though. Sorry.

The point is that *I* have no lack of interest in what other people's interests are, but they get on that subject, and just cannot get away from it. To the point that the guys I've chatted with here have really turned me off having my feet tickled altogether. Just totally. So, my suggestion to guys who want to enjoy that with their 'lee or 'ler, is to, yanno, think outside themselves a bit. 😉

 

[proud2tickle]

That Is completely contradictory to what u posted original

 

[shygirl08]

That Is completely contradictory to what u posted original

Hmm perhaps you should re-read what I posted originally?

I wasn't asking the forum what they like about feet. I was asking how to approach and understand someone I'm talking with about their fetish, and why there was such an extreme imbalance with the guys I've chatted with here in wanting to only talk about that, and not my interests. *Obviously* I've simply been chatting with the wrong guys. The first several posters said I really came up with the best ideas of approaching someone with this fetish to understand it, and I was asking for suggestions on that.

Somebody start a thread about what you love about feet so everyone who has that fetish can vent all they want about how much they love them. 😀

 

[Freethought]

So this probably a good time to ask...what are your unique interests when it comes to tickling?

And I think I do get what you are saying about some of us foot guys. It seems that far too often if a woman is actually cool enough to say that she enjoys attention on her feet or that her feet are ticklish...the guys then turn her into an object on which to project all their (often repressed) foot fantasies. And its like the conversation with the actual person has ended and something odd has taken its place.

 

[playfuldude]

Sorry about misconstruing the question. Reading comprehension was never my strong suit. 😛 I guess in a perfect world everyone would be as thought as yourself and be willing constructively discuss these things. For some others however a little reverse psychology may be needed. Statement like; "so I I see you are great at tickling feet, how well can you tickle <insert you fav spot here>. If he is just so overcome by feet to get passed talking about them, well it may be a lost cause. Course there's always the frying pan to the forehead too. Haa! Hope this help a lil..

 

[WorkInProgress]

Shygirl08: I'm going to do to this thread what I've done with scores of other threads over the years, and treat it as a relationship issue more than a fetish issue. This may be my personal bias, but I would assume that the people you meet up with for tickle play are also prospective friends if not prospective intimates. With that in mind, in any relationship, platonic or romantic, you should be able to expect the other person to show as much interest in your interests as you show in the other person's. It needs to be a mutual effort of finding out each other's needs and interests, and either being helpful to them or admitting that you're not compatible. It's not all that different from a relationship in which you're an actress and the guy plays hockey: if the guy wants you to go hockey games, he should be just as interested in going to plays. Of course, you may not be able to accommodate each other's recreational and avocational interests, or each other's fetishes. You have to talk it through and see, in the context of trying out the whole relationship.

 

[Alliekat]

Personally, I love anything to do with feet, but if they only want to talk about their interests, they probably have no interest in you and are probably wanking while chatting. Not worth wasting your time on guys like that