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Anybody else terrified of your friends and family finding out about your fetish?

I definitely used to be more so than now, but I'm still extremely private about it. Historically, people with a tickling fetish have been some of the more cautious and private people, as compared to many other kinks. That's just generalizing, but that's overwhelmingly been my experience in chatting with many over the years. It's not quite clear why that is, but I find it a fascinating observation. When I was a teenager, I would have felt completely destroyed by one of them finding out. That has slowly changed to feeling like it would be more of a very uncomfortable inconvenience. I think it has helped being married to a Ticklephile and being able to share those feelings and anxieties with her while building confidence and strength together.

Again, we both still feel very shy about it, but less so than before. But, I feel that even if we weren't that shy about it, keeping such a secret from most people in our lives would still feel fun and exciting.
 
To find out about it? I wouldn’t be happy. But for them to find out, they would have to snoop. For that, I’d be pissed! I’m a very private person in many areas, and I’d hope they would continue to respect that.

At once point, a family member was helping me move and asked why there were ropes tied to my bed frame (an older wooden slat style head and foot board). I very calmly said “what? Oh, yeah I got a splinter moving the bed after the kittens ran under there. The ropes make it easier to move and no splinters”. And while it was the partial truth, my foster kittens loved to run under my bed and I’d have to move it if they made a mess, it definitely wasn’t the whole truth lol.
 
My mom used to snoop through my phone as a teen and let me tell you, hardcore porn would have been easier to explain. As an adult a few of my close friends and my husband knows (he's got his own kinks so it's a give and take). They've all been pretty chill about it.
 
My parents never snooped once I got my own laptop. They respected my privacy. And regarding friends, or anyone in general, I never let them use my main laptop. I have a smaller one with nothing on it that I use for things like streaming services.

Past ex's of mine who I've engaged in fetish play with, they obviously know. Outside of that, the only other person who knows is my therapist.

I've been seeing her for a while now. About two years in, out of nowhere I began having nightmares about my fetishes getting out. I'd never spoken to my therapist at all about them prior. I thought they'd just go away, but they didn't. It wasn't every night, but it sure as hell felt like it at times. I went back and forth for a good while on whether to bring up the topic. Since she'd be the first person outside of a partner to know. The morning of this appointment, I promised myself that no matter what, I'd open up. But the whole drive there, I was trying my hardest to convince myself to not say anything. All the way until I was called back to her room, I was trying to talk myself out of it. But I did decide to open up. However, I was very particular about it. I didn't want to actually vocally state what my fetishes were, nor did I want my therapist to either. So I asked for pen & paper, and I wrote them down. I also wrote a number next to them, and asked for them to be referred to by number. 1. Bellybuttons, 2. Tickling, 3. Feet. I was that embarrassed.

Long story short, she was very supportive. I know that's her job and all as my therapist, but it was such a relief to finally get this out. Like I said, I'd been holding it in for a while. And I legit haven't had a nightmare since.
 
I think I'm more worried about the foot thing than the tickling. Tickling in and of itself is pretty normal I think. Sure, fetishists take it to another level, but tickling itself isn't weird. Liking feet, however, continually seems to be the butt of society's jokes. Foot fetishes are frequently made fun of in all forms of media, including with social media and influencers.

People don't quite look at you the same once they find out you have a foot fetish. I think my family found some of my stuff when I was younger and every time we were watching a movie together and a female actress was barefoot, they'd crack jokes about how nice her feet were and tickling her.

Hasn't been brought up in many years and frankly I stopped giving a damn, but it's not something I'd want to relive with anyone else.
 
My grandpa who made me and was a predator was never told. He never did anything other than tickle me as a kid, but he molested my mother and very much had the Cosby/Weinstein vibe going on. I did sort of bring it up only to find there appeared to be no malice that was ever directed at me. I think he just liked fucking with people.

My dad was the first to know and I think he thought I was coming out as gay and when I didn't I think he relaxed and was all the hippy about it that he was.

Other family have been told and they seemed to either think well that's cool and totally accepting and even understanding considering the situation with grandpa and how they knew him, or they have reacted with a pretty much meh response.
 
I’m definitely worried. It would definitely be embarrassing to friends or family. Only one friend not in the community knows I’m into tickling, but I’m not sure on the extent. I’ve tickled her many times before. I’m certainly not going to ask anyone I know if they know. My wife knows it’s a turn on for sure.
 
Not anymore. The few friends I have know. "T" who is still nominally in my life but on his way out, knows I have a foot fetish, but not about the tickling or that I belong to the site. My other immediate family, my Dad, uncle and aunt are old and have health issues, so they probably would not even care
 
Honestly, if they found out then they found out. I spent some of my 20’s being so scared that someone would find out, but then it was like a switch was flipped and now I don’t really care. I would prefer people didn’t learn about it and I’m certainly not going to flaunt it, but if they found out, oh well. We are all human and we all have our own likes. I’m just not embarrassed about it anymore, not ashamed either.
 
butterflytickles said:
Honestly, if they found out then they found out. I spent some of my 20’s being so scared that someone would find out, but then it was like a switch was flipped and now I don’t really care. I would prefer people didn’t learn about it and I’m certainly not going to flaunt it, but if they found out, oh well. We are all human and we all have our own likes. I’m just not embarrassed about it anymore, not ashamed either.
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In my opinion, when it comes to tickling, there’s obviously those of us that are into it, have a fetish, are sexualized about it etc. Hence this site. Theres also people that use it to flirt with others and/or thinking it’s fun. Co-workers, close friends, family members etc. The issue would be that I wouldn’t be able to even jokingly tickle someone if they knows it’s a turn on and not just me messing with them. I don’t constantly tickle women around me, but it could be taken a different way, even if I’m not meaning it to be taken that way.
 
Most of my family and close friends know. After the initial drama of my mother finding out, the humor in it was undeniable, and I'm glad I could be myself around her for more than 2 decades.

Most of my close friends are in kink spaces, so it doesn't matter to them. My life is slowly turning into pure vanilla. And I find myself leaning into it. I fear there will be nothing to find out about. 😐
 
Sometimes, I think if people just could read me and know, my life might be a lot easier. I'm always doing the mental Olympics trying to figure out how to tell something special but sometimes struggling to find the opportunity.
 
My Mom and my stepfather have an inkling but they don't really understand what the BDSM and tickle communities are at ALL and are under the false belief that all BDSM and legal adult porn are all done by kidnappers and rapists. We kind of have an unspoken understanding between us. They stay away from my GF and I about our sex life/fetishes and don't ask questions and in return my GF and I don't bring it up ever around them. My little sis knows and she and her wife are practitioners of BDSM and tickle play as well so they have no issue.
 
SoleHarvester said:
I don't think I could recover from the humiliation.
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My father found out when I was a youth (back when aol messenger was the norm.) He asked me, “what’s femfeet, son?” He told me I was a “good kid.” And didn’t make me feel ashamed. Never spoke about again.

Later in life, close friends heard my wife and I discussing our fetish with one another. I thought we had been disconnected from a chat that we were in (we had been gaming with them.) I took some heat after that for sure. It is still embarrassing to this day, though I’m sure they’re jealous!
 
No. I live by myself. At my old job I was sneaky in asking some of the ladies on the floor if they were ticklish.
 
I used to have an anxiety about friends or family finding out about my fetishes for feet and tickling. It's a very vulnerable thing to me. I generally don't tell anyone who's not somehow part of the kink/fetish scene. If I'm confronted about it, I won't deny it, and I'll likely feel shy and/or embarrassed for a moment at first, but I'll use my discretion on an individual basis to determine whether I want to continue a discussion about it or not.
 
If you'd ask me 4,5 years ago - sure.

Now? I don't really give a damn anymore... 🙂 If they would find out I'd be okay with that. I wouldn't be glad but I wouldn't feel bad about it whatsoever.
 
GarnettRose said:
My mom used to snoop through my phone as a teen and let me tell you, hardcore porn would have been easier to explain. As an adult a few of my close friends and my husband knows (he's got his own kinks so it's a give and take). They've all been pretty chill about it.
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Talk about an invasion of privacy. I'm glad you're on your own now.

BBGuy5240 said:
the only other person who knows is my therapist.

I've been seeing her for a while now. About two years in, out of nowhere I began having nightmares about my fetishes getting out. I'd never spoken to my therapist at all about them prior. I thought they'd just go away, but they didn't. It wasn't every night, but it sure as hell felt like it at times. I went back and forth for a good while on whether to bring up the topic. Since she'd be the first person outside of a partner to know. The morning of this appointment, I promised myself that no matter what, I'd open up. But the whole drive there, I was trying my hardest to convince myself to not say anything. All the way until I was called back to her room, I was trying to talk myself out of it. But I did decide to open up. However, I was very particular about it. I didn't want to actually vocally state what my fetishes were, nor did I want my therapist to either. So I asked for pen & paper, and I wrote them down. I also wrote a number next to them, and asked for them to be referred to by number. 1. Bellybuttons, 2. Tickling, 3. Feet. I was that embarrassed.

Long story short, she was very supportive. I know that's her job and all as my therapist, but it was such a relief to finally get this out. Like I said, I'd been holding it in for a while. And I legit haven't had a nightmare since.
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I'm happy you finally got that taken care of because it sounded like that was very mentally draining for you to deal with. Just out of curiosity, and don't take this the wrong way because I'm not looking to devalue and creep on your therapist by asking this, but if she's a young and beautiful woman, have you had tickling or foot fetish fantasies about her?

BlueLine7045 said:
I think I'm more worried about the foot thing than the tickling. Tickling in and of itself is pretty normal I think. Sure, fetishists take it to another level, but tickling itself isn't weird. Liking feet, however, continually seems to be the butt of society's jokes. Foot fetishes are frequently made fun of in all forms of media, including with social media and influencers.
Click to expand...
Same. I've learned to own my tickle fetish because most women I've met are fine with it once the discussion comes up, as they nothing wrong with tickling. However, my situation regarding my foot fetish was worse at one point because I can be socially awkward at times due to me being Autism. What's even more gut-wrenching is I've unfortunately made some women think I'm a creep after they caught on. Thankfully, as I've gotten older and became less impulsive, anxious, insecure, and socially awkward, I'm able to mask it a lot more easier. Thanks to the sex positive movement, I'm less afraid of people finding out about it, but I'd still rather keep that private.

cletus said:
My grandpa who made me and was a predator was never told. He never did anything other than tickle me as a kid, but he molested my mother and very much had the Cosby/Weinstein vibe going on.
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That's disturbing she went through that, and I'm surprised he legally still has any contact with your family now. Not to get off-topic, nor am I looking to argue over it, but I'd hope you go by what's been documented in the court cases when talking about Weinstein and Cosby.
 
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Most of my family know, because I decided to tell them years ago. I was tired of it being a secret. They were totally supportive and unphased. I also told a therapist a while back, who thought it was endearing that I was uncomfortable about something so benign.
 
Elyos said:
If you'd ask me 4,5 years ago - sure.

Now? I don't really give a damn anymore... 🙂 If they would find out I'd be okay with that. I wouldn't be glad but I wouldn't feel bad about it whatsoever.
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Yea, you realize eventually that none of it really matters in the long run. You might as well live your life liking what you like irrespective of what anyone else thinks.
 
DebonairDavid said:
I'm happy you finally got that taken care of because it sounded like that was very mentally draining for you to deal with. Just out of curiosity, and don't take this the wrong way because I'm not looking to devalue and creep on your therapist by asking this, but if she's a young and beautiful woman, have you had tickling or foot fetish fantasies about her?
Click to expand...
It was indeed very draining.

And to answer your question, yes I have. She wears open shoes a lot. She did it long before I revealed my fetishes to her. I'd love to give her a foot massage. I'd also love for her to make me worship her belly/bellybutton during a session. This one time, again, long before I told her about my fetishes, she was reaching up for something and I saw a little bit of it.

I don't know her age, but if I had to guess, I'd say early to mid 40s. But she's cute. She's about 5 ft 7 if I had to guess, and she's a blonde with long hair.
 
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