Are Many of You Weird?

[Journia]

No, I wouldn't say that a tickling fetishist, is more likely to be socially awkward because of their disposition. Are you Socially awkward? If not, then why did you join the forum? If so, then you are one of a number of cases. It all depends on how a person is brought up in their childhood, and their experiences throughout that period and adolescence, as well as da to day experiences in everyday life. Coupled with the personality of the person, it has the great possibility of making a person socially awkward, as you so well put it, or it can make the person better, more well rounded, kind, or sensible.

Just my ten dollars.

 

[firewindwater1]

i've met some pretty socially awkward softball players in my time

 

[Senshi1]

I'm pretty normal. I think most of us are. I'm not exactly bubbly, but I'll talk to people fine, and I'm usually okay at reading them.

 

[Kalamos]

I'm turning avatars off.

 

[mdizzle]

I come out of the bushes to post on threads like this. I have this theory of people who spend too much time on message board. The more posts you log greater the chance that you're rather weird/awkward (post per day is actually a better measure). Now you may post a lot on a video game or whatever board but I find it particularly disturbing that people log so many posts on a Porn board.. Sorry folks this is a porn board. Denial ain't just a river in Egypt 😀

There's my two cents about weirdness in this community.. Oh.. btw.. those gatherings they have with all those TMF guys.. I'm 21.. i'm not going with those 40+ people.. no way.

 

[brotherted]

To Journia: No, I don't think I'm socially awkward at all, the opposite in fact. So I'm acknowledging there are exceptions, like me and possibly you. But the existence of exceptions doesn't disprove a generality, does it?

To FireWindWater: Touché.... But the question is which group is more likely to offer misanthropes and misfits, not can they exist in either group.

To mdizzle: I understand why you'd be skeptical of the older crowd. My only revision is that for me (now that I'm out of my 20's) while there may be a loose correlation with age, it's not the main factor. In other works, freakish weirdo shut-ins can be any age, including teenagers. Meanwhile, fun, funny cool people can be any age too.

Brad Pitt is in now in his forties... if you got an invite to a party he threw (or substitute some other "cool" name... Ben Stiller, Will Ferrell) would you not go "with those 40+ people"? Just seems to me fun people or losers can be any age.

 

[mdizzle]

BrotherTed I agree that fun people can be any age. But have you seen pictures of these gatherings? Not exactly a hollywood function.

 

[FeatherDaemon1]

If weird is this...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oEg7yABxlVc

then maybe I fall into that catagory.

But honestly you wouldn't be able to pick me out in a lineup saying he's into tickling.

I think that someone who goes to social tickling events is simply an extrovert who is comfortable with strangers. Yet if there was a tickling club akin to say a YMCA where one could hang out and have some tickling fun in a "normal" social fashion then more would go to social events.

I would say that only a very small minority of us into tickling are perverted freaks who have no sense of public decency or morality. Yet then again you could say that about any social group who share an interest.

 

[brotherted]

I would say that only a very small minority of us into tickling are perverted freaks who have no sense of public decency or morality.

Feather:
Sounds like a straw man debate approach here... It's going too far to say "perverted freaks"... I'm just talking about your garden variety, poorly socialized people.

Let me be more specific:

I don't mean dangerous, criminal, homicidal, violent or deranged.
I mean dorky, awkward, nerdy, nervous or insecure.

Understand the distinction?

 

[Kalamos]

I don't mean dangerous, criminal, homicidal, violent or deranged.
I mean dorky, awkward, nerdy, nervous or insecure.

It's not about being a fetishist, then. It's about being a teen.

 

[jerryb1439]

Weirdos

Okay, so while it might seem like this was designed to invite a flame war, that's really not my intent. It's just an honest question, expressing a feeling that others might have felt.

While I'm very much into the whole tickling thing, I'm pretty sure I'd never go to a meet-up or live event because I have the feeling I'd encounter some strange, bizarre, tragically bohemian, psycho-talking, shut-in living, weird people. Not all, some. Or to be milder, maybe just some poorly socialized people. Not all, some.

But perhaps enough to creep out the vibe, if you will.

Now for my disclaimers. I know "weird" is in the eye of the beholder; I know some might think I'm weird (and no doubt have). I know if some of these "weird" people didn't exist, this website which I enjoy may have never been made.

Well, I will give my opinion. I have attended m/m tickle gatherings and I presume that the relative weirdness of straight gatherings is similar with one definite exception. My impression of straight gatherings is that there are fewer women attending than would be desired by the number of men in attendance (please correct me if I am wrong). Anyway, my experience is that any time you attend a sex play party, there will be a mix of desirable and undesirable people there. Don't necessarily judge people by their age or looks as some of the best players I have met are older. It is good to learn to value experience in kink play.

The question says more about the questionner than about the actual situations. I think that many people with a fetish for tickling are somewhat embarrassed by it. Therefore it is natural to project. "If I am weird, those other people into my fetish must be really weird." In fact I have found players to be very normal for the most part. Those who I have found to be "weird" had habits that got in the way of having fun. They obcessed too much on one aspect of play, or were too secretive or something. But for the most part I have found people into tickling to be normal people who shared my obcession for tickling. And sometimes these people were attractive to me and sometimes not.

So, do you avoid going out of the house so that you will not meet "poorly socialized people?" I hope not or you have some pretty weird problems yourself. You need to set your own boundaries in public and allow yourself to meet those who interest you and politely rebuff those who do not interest you. I'd also point out that any group of people who can successfully organize a sexual play party is very concerned about the mix of people and the success of the event. I wager they have a lot more social skills than you assume with your question.

There is one great rule for successful parties. People make a party. If you know the organizers and they seem like together people, take a chance and attend if you are lucky enough to be invited. But don't judge all parties by that one experience. With the right mix a tickling gathering can be very exciting. Or it can be dull with the wrong group of people. So what. Even at a dull party, you might meet someone you couldn't have met any other way. That can be a risk worth taking.

JerryB

 

[kopfhorer1]

As Frank Zappa once remarked about himself, I never set out to be weird. I'm into "out" music, movies, etc. because the mainstream kinds don't do that much for me. I was out of phase with the jocksters in my high school (I was one of those who hung out in the art room during lunch). I'm into tickling - just because. That's the way I was born.

I was once at a meetup for members of a USENET newsgroup, and it was largely copacetic. It was a bunch of regular people (well, mostly people from the IT industry, even though that wasn't what the newsgroup was about, but what the hey...). We had fun hanging out, doing meals, visiting area wineries (no, we didn't get smashed), and doing dim sum on the last day.

A TT meetup would be interesting, despite the fact that I'm an incorrigible recluse (all that time spent in front of a dang computer) and a bit of a social phobik. Is anyone else down with this idea?

 

[kopfhorer1]

Well, I will give my opinion.

(snippage)

There is one great rule for successful parties. People make a party. If you know the organizers and they seem like together people, take a chance and attend if you are lucky enough to be invited. But don't judge all parties by that one experience. With the right mix a tickling gathering can be very exciting. Or it can be dull with the wrong group of people. So what. Even at a dull party, you might meet someone you couldn't have met any other way. That can be a risk worth taking.

JerryB

What you said (the whole thing) has to be the most level-headed set of arguments I've ever heard here.

 

[TheChameleon]

Social Outcast...

When I think of social ability, i'm rather difficult to get along with, not because of any particular reason, I'm just always doing things that people say are crazy/weird/anything else.

"You just cut off that semi-truck?!"

"Yeah? I didn't kill us, did I?"

"You coulda though!"

"But... I didn't, did I?"

people find that hard to deal with, that kind of "dangerous" lifestyle, that, among other things, (circular reasoning, beautiful hair, a complete lack of motivation to do "cool stuff." (Clubs, Listen to music, "Ride Dirty," and go to college.)

But, i have a circle of freaks, which I keep around, and its a much tighter group than say... the "jock kids" who would drop each other real quick if they found out the other guy ALSO has a secret Justin Timberlake CD.

When I look back, kids remember me from Highschool, people I have no idea who they are. Does that mean i was "weird?"

Yeah, probably. But, does it matter that I was weird? Or... does it matter that I was remembered?

Heck, as long as your remembered for doing something that ISN'T bad, I think your okay.

 

[Plague Doctor]

hmmz everybody is weird in his or her own way because everybody thinks other people are weird

example :

I have a tickling fetisj (of course) my sister thinks that's weird but I think it's weird because she has a hand fetisj ( just an example I hope ^^)

But my point is this 😛

you're not weird only if you think you're weird yourself😛

 

[Midnight Circus]

I'm pretty damn weird. Then again, it's a biased opinion.

 

[Number 8]

While I'm very much into the whole tickling thing, I'm pretty sure I'd never go to a meet-up or live event because I have the feeling I'd encounter some strange, bizarre, tragically bohemian, psycho-talking, shut-in living, weird people. Not all, some. Or to be milder, maybe just some poorly socialized people. Not all, some.

But perhaps enough to creep out the vibe, if you will.

I feel this way too. I know they have "tickling convetnions" in a hotel and that one is called NESTS or something? If your into it fine but a convention for something to me that should be oh so private would lead me to the nearest exit, no offense to any of those who attend these conventions. :super_hap

 

[brotherted]

Jerry,

Your response was indeed well-written, but respectfully, I do have some problems with it.

Seems to me your "people are just people; generalizations can't be made about personalities in a group" (my synopsis) is not only politically correct, it's wishful thinking. What if we were talking about sadomasochism fetishists -- would you make the same forceful argument against any generalizations about their personalities? I don't think so. How about people who like to cut themselves? Would it be misguided to generalize about their poor socializations? Hardly.

Then the fair question becomes not whether generalizing ever makes sense, but whether ticking fetishists are the kind of group to which social dysfunction can be correlated (i.e. is tickling like a softball club, or is it like an S&M club, even a little bit?)

And at the risk of repeating myself, I don't feel I'm socially dysfunctional. And Jerry, I suspect you're not socially dysfunctional either. But is there a correlation between this community in general and social dysfunction? At all?

I suspect there is, and at least some people have been agreeing with me.

There is one great rule for successful parties. People make a party. If you know the organizers and they seem like together people, take a chance and attend if you are lucky enough to be invited.

That's just it, we wouldn't know the organizers, nor most of the people going. We're talking about a meet-up posted online, through this website or another, where the precise problem, and the genesis of this discussion, is not only that you haven't met the other people going, but the party throwers haven't either. In fact, by you invoking the standard "if you know the organizers," I can almost infer that if you don't know the organizers... you'd agree it may be problematic. In other words, it appears that by your own standard, I have a point. (And now that I clarified my scenario, maybe you'll agree.)

Once again folks, I'm not trying to start a flame war, or insult anyone personally. It is, however, something I've been thinking about and wanted to get a sense of the reaction.

Oh, and I wish I'd titled the original post, "Are Many of You Poorly Socialized" -- "Weird" was the wrong word as it triggers a kind of "Revenge of the Nerds" defense reaction which gets in the way, and just about everyone has at one time considered themselves weird (including me) -- while a tiny fraction consider themselves "poorly socialized." Poorly socialized is what I really meant anyway.

 

[SAUL1]

Hi:
I think maybe you should just try to think of this as another culture.In every culture you will see extremities in behaviour.You'll see deviations. and breaches of social contract/ etiquettes that are customary to what the tickling community is about.Examples:Are there not rabid football/soccer fans? Are there not good, down to earth, sincere,fun loving fans as well?
The same goes for here.
PA.

 

[Morpheus72]

Socially Awkward? Not as a Group....but....

Hiya,

I'll start out by saying that generalizing this community, or any group of people, is ridiculous. People should be judged on their own merits or lack thereof. That being said, I know three people personally from the community. Gender omitted, because I'm not here to be libelous. 😉

The first person is self-absorbed to the extreme, to the point of being repellent. I thought I would have a great deal in common with this person, tickling interests aside, but I found I couldn't spend five minutes with this person without feeling a profound desire to shoot myself. From what I have been told, many in the community feel the same way.

The second person is not quite as self-absorbed, but still reasonably painful to be around. This person, though, is popular in the community.

The third person has a more pleasant personality, and is fun to be around. This person also seems to live much more in the "real world", preferring to engage in more real-life activities with community members.

This leads me to think that the more well-adjusted people are ones who engage in more activites offline than some of the more socially-awkward people. For myself, I've found that dealing with people has become much more pleasant since I stopped spending ten hours a day online. Perhaps there's something to that. :super_hap

Finally, then, I'm of the opinion that there are socially awkward people out there, and there are well-adjusted people out there in the community. Some are well-liked, some not so much. Spend time with people you like, and leave the rest.

 

[Dr. Bill Kobb]

Plenty weird, here. Normal people scare me. Consensus reality is for wimps. Seriously. Many of the traits that we "take for granted" as human and "natural" are terrible. Give me the weirdos, the sinners, the saints, the poets and the artists. Hell with 'Joe Sixpack' and his wife-beating, knuckle-dragging ways. We gotta evolve, and quick! if it means embracing the weird, then so be it!