Are you meant to be monogamous?

[Wolf]

Well how well do you think someone is doing at being monogamous if they're ogling someone other than their partner? I'm just saying there's some people that just aren't into going the full mile with a relationship and would rather think a strong friendship fares better than trying to smother one another with affections.

You have a pretty strange perception of what monogamy is like, if you think it's people wearing blinders, refusing to even look at other people, and "smothering one another with affections". That's not even Hollywood, that's Hallmark Channel crap; and it'd be exhausting, constantly showering your partner with affection while constantly worrying they're going to leave you because they find someone on TV attractive. You and I have crossed swords about this before, and I have no intention of making this an argument. I think your strong friendships/FWB concepts are just as valid. I don't think monogamy is better for anyone but me. My wife and I probably wouldn't be monogamous if we weren't with each other.

 

[Alliekat]

I think that is for every person to decide for themselves. Some people are terrible at longterm relationships while others thrive in them. Some couples prefer monogamy, while others embrace the poly lifestyle. Whether or not someone is "meant" to be a certain way or not is way out of my wheelhouse, but I think consenting adults are capable of making that judgement for themselves.

That is my opinion, anyway

 

[Wolf]

I think that is for every person to decide for themselves. Some people are terrible at longterm relationships while others thrive in them. Some couples prefer monogamy, while others embrace the poly lifestyle. Whether or not someone is "meant" to be a certain way or not is way out of my wheelhouse, but I think consenting adults are capable of making that judgement for themselves.
That is my opinion, anyway

Right! I think that saying any certain type of relationship model is how we are "meant to be" is presuming a lot.

 

[Rickytickly]

Yeah. I just haven't found anyone yet; I'm still alone. Any girl I was ever with has initiated, meaning I'm too shy to make the first move, and they were always seeing other guys at the same time. That's probably one reason why these relationships didn't work, because these girls were the more aggressive types and weren't really right for me.

The solution would be for me to try getting out and about more and meeting more people. I don't think it's really a matter of "making a move" on someone, but more just getting to know more people in general, as friends, and the ones I click with, if there's any potential for romance, then things will happen, naturally.

 

[duderino84]

You have a pretty strange perception of what monogamy is like, if you think it's people wearing blinders, refusing to even look at other people, and "smothering one another with affections". That's not even Hollywood, that's Hallmark Channel crap; and it'd be exhausting, constantly showering your partner with affection while constantly worrying they're going to leave you because they find someone on TV attractive. You and I have crossed swords about this before, and I have no intention of making this an argument. I think your strong friendships/FWB concepts are just as valid. I don't think monogamy is better for anyone but me. My wife and I probably wouldn't be monogamous if we weren't with each other.

Funny how the hallmark channel ties in, of course previous interests were a fan of that channel. IDK, I've been trained to just anticipate a shit-show when it comes to dating. When I find the right one there won't be questions to be answered.

 

[Rickytickly]

Seems like there's a debate here about what monogamy actually IS, but all I can say is, it obviously doesn't work for everyone, and likely there's different levels OF it. Of course no matter how monogamous we are, we are all human and there will always be temptation, but then this is all part of what it's about, and I think it's a matter of desire; meaning if you love your partner enough, and you have the DESIRE to have a monogamous relationship, then that is what's most important, even if we may make some mistakes along the way. And there's always going to be the glances at others, etc., I think this is just natural.

 

[loves2TK]

I think Wolf said it exactly right. Monogamy works for some people and can be awesome and extraordinarily fulfilling. For others - it doesn't and who is anybody to judge? So long as people are open and honest, who's business is it?

 

[Rickytickly]

I think Wolf said it exactly right. Monogamy works for some people and can be awesome and extraordinarily fulfilling. For others - it doesn't and who is anybody to judge? So long as people are open and honest, who's business is it?

I agree with that totally.

 

[Rickytickly]

....actually I think I was meant to be mahoganous. MAHOGANY. Self contained, like a chair....