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Ask Alchemy

Bouncy eggs.

We need boucy eggs.

If you drop a chicken, it will bounce.
If you drop a chick, she will prolly kick you in the nads. Or maybe not.
If you drop a habit, it wasn't a good habit to begin with.

Bouncy habits make for inconsistent addicts.
 
the questions go on and on...and on

Vladislaus Dracula said:
Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

Tricky....
However, I can give you a definite answer...to the great question of the chicken and the egg...but I will have to think about it...
How long, well, for a question as grand as this one it shouldn't take any longer than seven and a half million years...I should have an answer for you then.
Until then, I recommend staying away from poultry (just trust me on this one). 😎
 
Timewarp said:
Now on to the next question: If two trains were flying to New zealand, dropping of 235 people on a dessert island of cannablelistic sand and collided into each other at 3pm pacific standard time on a wensday in june of 1368, what are the chances that the stars will call up their marshmellow friends on a planet inhabbited by weird trees on crack while being able to keep their tredmills from launching a barrel of grass onto a barbershop's customer's head?

I work in a betting shop, so I know the chances of this one happening. 😀

It's 4 to 7. :weird:
 
Heh i have another question for the buddy christ, actually its a movie quote, hopefully u can answer it with the answer given in the movie

"Whats the fastest land animal on earth"
 
Tiptoe through the questions

goodieluver said:
If you drop an egg, it cracks\splatters

So how come if you drop a broken egg, you dont get a new egg

also, what theory\question is this?

Well Johnny B. Good, it's kinda obvious that you already know both of these answers. Remember from the Bible: "Thou shalt not tempt the lord thy God"? Hmmmm? Remember that? Anyway, I know what to do with this question...hmm...now where is that damn delete button...

Ok, so, the delete button seems to only delete what I've just typed...so it's pretty much useless. Eggs? No, a better question is why the delete button on a computer doesn't delete anything....or doesn't delete what you want it to delete. I mean, with all the technology...and the bytes...and the screen, someone should have something like this on they computers by now...or at least as an add-on.... You should be able to go to...computer world or something and say "I want a delete button..with plenty of awesome delete power" and some computer nerd would stare down at you through his coke-bottle glasses and say something like "We don't have any, and you couldn't afford one anyway...glayvin." Yeah, that's how it should be. Lets face it, anything has to be better than using a black sharpie. Have you ever tried to clean it off of your computer screen when you are through marking through things? 😎
 
Not a question, I'm a free man

Vladislaus Dracula said:
If a man crosses a violent river, is he expected to build a bridge?

Is it me, or does it feel like NOVA in this thread? Oh well...

Oh sure...maybe some losers would want him to, but the answer is...NO, OF COURSE NOT! If you were awesome enough to make it across a violent river, half the fun is then watching all the really sad, sucky people get washed away...which is what they get for trying to copy you and your wicked conquering of the river. I mean, if you saw this really beautiful girl about to get swept away, you could...throw her...a stick....or just anything lying about really...a tire...whatever. 😎
 
Mmm..these questions taste like chicken

wk23 said:
Yeah, and while we're on the subject of eggs and chickens....Why the hell did the chicken cross the road??
I've actually experienced a moment in my life where I honestly wanted to know. I was driving to work, and I was late, and as I got to an intersection that leads to the freeway entrance starting to make a right hand turn, 2 chickens walked out in front of my car and crossed the street. I had to slam the brakes, and the car behind me almost hits me from behind! And without thinking about it, I yelled, "why the hell are these chickens crossing the road!!!" Then I actually started cracking up once it hit me. True Story!!

Oh man, wild Ketchup, like the same thing almost happened to me once. I was 19, and I was driving to college, and I was going down the street, and I was watching the road but not really, and a squirel ran out in front of my car, and I hit the brakes, and I was like "What the hell you stupid squirel!" and I swerved, and I didn't hit it.
As far as chickens go Ketchup, there is a reason why we eat these things quite a lot. When you think about it, chickens are pretty dumb...but put some batter on them and they taste pretty good. 😎
 
?????????????????

Timewarp said:
Ahhh...yes. The old "chicken crosses the road" ploy. Well I just explain it like this. Why do stupid people do stupid things? Cause they are stupid. Hence chickens cross roads cause they're chickens.

Now on to the next question: If two trains were flying to New zealand, dropping of 235 people on a dessert island of cannablelistic sand and collided into each other at 3pm pacific standard time on a wensday in june of 1368, what are the chances that the stars will call up their marshmellow friends on a planet inhabbited by weird trees on crack while being able to keep their tredmills from launching a barrel of grass onto a barbershop's customer's head?

Ahhh...yes. The old "try to piss off the Alchemy" ploy. Damn useless delete button.
I'd say it's about 1 to 1 that you will see actually see all of this crap occur. It's also about 1 to 1 that you are a shoe-in at the Betty Ford clinic (or the closest low-income equivalent). Drugs are bad m'kay. 😎
 
And the Questions come in the NIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!

GEORGIATKLER said:
If You Could Assemble Any 5 Past Or Present Musicians For A Jam Session, Who Would They Be? *testing 1..2...3* P/s Yes, I Am Available! Lol!

Well Georgia, here is a quesiton I can sink my teeth into.
I'd say my five would be:

Jimi Hendrix
Eddie Van Halen
Yngwie Malmsteen
Nicolo Paganini
Eric Johnson

Yeah, that would ROCK!!! 😎
 
Faster than a speeding quesiton

goodieluver said:
Heh i have another question for the buddy christ, actually its a movie quote, hopefully u can answer it with the answer given in the movie

"Whats the fastest land animal on earth"

Richard Pryor running down the street. 😛
 
alchemy said:
Oh man, wild Ketchup, like the same thing almost happened to me once. I was 19, and I was driving to college, and I was going down the street, and I was watching the road but not really, and a squirel ran out in front of my car, and I hit the brakes, and I was like "What the hell you stupid squirel!" and I swerved, and I didn't hit it.
As far as chickens go Ketchup, there is a reason why we eat these things quite a lot. When you think about it, chickens are pretty dumb...but put some batter on them and they taste pretty good. 😎

You know the Research and Development Division of Kentucky Fried Chicken recently managed to breed a new variety of chicken that has four legs, to answer the demand for drumsticks.
(Here's where you ask, "How do they taste?")
They don't know yet. They haven't been able to catch one.
 
alchemy said:
Richard Pryor running down the street. 😛


Ha, i was quotin AIRPLANE II when people are going to the information desk

people asking about business\lfight stuff then one guy goes
"Whats the fastest land animal on earth?"
"The cheetah, next?"
 
alchemy said:
Well Georgia, here is a quesiton I can sink my teeth into.
I'd say my five would be:

Jimi Hendrix
Eddie Van Halen
Yngwie Malmsteen
Nicolo Paganini
Eric Johnson

Yeah, that would ROCK!!! 😎
Yeah, buddy...Paganini would fit right in! So would Franz Liszt, I expect. (You've got to have a good man on keyboard!)
 
F.L. Atlanta said:
What is a cure for boredom Alchemy?

I know it isn't my place, but I'd say that the answer to this question is "reading this thread is a cure for boredom"! 😛
 
If tin whistles are made of tin, what do they make fog horns out of?
 
nessonite said:
If tin whistles are made of tin, what do they make fog horns out of?
Yeah...or bullhorns, for that matter? Or French horns? Or baby grand pianos?
 
And she's buying a stairway...to questions...

nessonite said:
If tin whistles are made of tin, what do they make fog horns out of?

Tin whistles? Tin whistles?! Hello, I'd like to welcome everyone to 1837. You know...where there are plenty of tin whistles, moon pies, stripey-candy, steam, rocks, fire, dirt.... 😛
Ok, so, if tin whistles are made out of tin, fog horns should be made out of fire right? Wrong! First of all, you don't make fog horns, they must be tracked, hunted, killed, gutted, dryed, skinned, and then coated with a protective seal to ward off any moisture, or scavengers that may damage the beast. No one is quite sure how fog horns came to be used in this manner, but such is the case with a lot of animals that we depend on. For instance, the cow. Who was the first person to say "I think I'll drink whatever comes out of these things when I squeeze em"? You see? On a possitive note, the population of the majestic fog horn has been up in recent years since travel by ship has given way to traveling by aero-planes or motorized carriages (or popularly known as automobiles).
Keep those questions coming and ROCK ON! 😎
 
The questions strike back

nessonite said:
To be or not to be?

Hmmm...to answer or not to answer? I would definately say "to be"...because I mean, I certainly want to be, but for others, I often want them "not to be." I would say that, if you are you, "to be" is what you want, however, if you are someone who is other than you, "not to be" is the way to go. Furthermore, in order to be or not be, it is presupposed that one already "be". However, if post-modern philosophy has taught us anything, our ability to prove that we, in fact, actually "be" (or exist) is based upon a series of absolute presuppositions. We presuppose that we exist, so therefore, we wonder why we exist. We then get so wrapped up in trying to find out the why of existence that we completely ignore the fact that we never proved that we actually exist. I mean, if something never existed in the first place, for it to sit around and ponder the why of it's existence is absurd. So in other words, we never proved our existence and we never proved the nature of our supposed existence, yet we wonder questions like "to be or not to be." Now, for those of you logically deducing that we must exist for us to have the ability to quesiton our existence, you are forgeting what, in fact, our supposed existence is truely made up of. Through our scientific research on the brain (which is also built upon absolute presuppositions), we have discovered that the 5 senses (our only tangeble methods for defining our supposed existence) are all nothing more than electrical signals interpreted by the brain. Everything that you taste, smell, see, hear, and touch (or tickle) is nothing more than a bio-electric reaction in our brain. That was the point of The Matrix, our perception of reality is superficial at best; therefore, we have no real connection to our supposed reality...and therefore, it is absurd of us to question the why of things.
The answer then is: To be...but very carefully. 😎
 
LOL!
I'll stump you this time, I know it.

If a tree falls in the woods, and no one is around to hear it except for a few squirrels and some guy who passed out drunk, does it make a sound? Or does it simply not bother cause no one's going to pay attention to it anyway?
 
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