Do you believe in Santa?
Duh
Fill in the blanks: If I had a dime for every time I heard
"You're not ferocious I would be
a bajilliontyaire
Is it true that you love Rock N’ Roll?
I love Elvis.
If oranges are called oranges, and peaches are called peaches, why are bananas not called yellows?
Because orange is the only color amazing enough to have a fruit named after it. Peach isn't a color - iz a flavor. The color people call "peach" is hideous and needs to be destroyed.
What are your favorite meals?
Blueshell craaaaaaaaabs
Do you like Pop Tarts?
Lil' bit.
Do bees drink?
Bees are like miniature flying devils and I hate them.
Do you like Simon and Garfunkel?
Eh?
Do you know what movie this line is from? “I have a hankering for some Switzerland chocolate, and a good smoke.”
No.
If we evolved from apes, what the hell did they evolve from?
Littler apes?
If I said, “There she was, just a walking down the street”, what would you say after?(From a song)
DOOOO A DIIIIDDY DIDDY DUM DIDDY DOO!!!
What band sang, “Paranoid?”
Dunno
Why is there no gum on a damned “gum tree?”
Do you believe that every problem has a solution?
Hmm...probably. But it doesn't have to necessarily be a solution that you like.
Why is it so hard? What? You were expecting more?
Because in the end it's so worth it.
Who said, “If I were two faced, why would I choose this one?”
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH - somebody ugly probably.
Have you ever broken out in song?
LMAO - yes, yes I have. This comes to mind...
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When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
"MEEEE"
Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety one?
I have wondered that same thing believe it or not...
If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea does that mean the fifth one enjoys it?
Yes, and I am that one.
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Succeed!
Why is it that when someone tells you that there’s billions of stars in the universe, you believe them. But if they tell you there’s wet paint somewhere you have to touch it?
You can't touch the stars or you would try.
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
Jimmy can crack corn all over the fucking carpet for all I care - FUCK YOU JIMMY!!!
Why does mineral water that has “trickled through mountains for centuries” go out of date next year?
The mountains keep it fresh
What color would a Smurf turn if you choked it?
Hooman color
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but never at their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
I do that...
Why isn’t there a special name for the tops of your feet?
I'm sure there is, we just don't know what it is, mebbe?
Do you love a good back scratching?
Iz kay - I'm a ***** for backrubs, though.
Lastly, Do you know that you have been mini bombed by Texas Tickler?
I noticed LOL