Ask the third world Swedish Guru a question

[Carsomyr]

This looked like fun, so... As you might have heard I am the shaman of my tribe in backwater Sweden, but we will reffer to me as "The Guru" henceforth. I actually AM all-knowing, although I was given this position because bastard sons may not be warriors, and I wasn't born a slave (I am the illegitimate offspring to Ulvhilde the Hairy and Harald the rapist). Since my tribe is currently out pillaging I have some free time, so ask me anything!

 

[Mister Scruff]

Your country is shit. Explain.

 

[Carsomyr]

Your country is shit. Explain.

Don't talk down on shit! We build huts with it! :O

 

[Mister Scruff]

Is it true that Sweden's number one export is Henrik Larrson?

 

[Carsomyr]

Soccer sucks. Next question! 😀

 

[Mister Scruff]

What kind of fool ARE you?! :-o

 

[Carsomyr]

I am an uneducated viking. I'm sorry, but we don't do that "sock-errrrrr" ritual up here, too much ice and we cant afford a ball! 😛

 

[Mister Scruff]

Good lord!!1!


Do you see mooses often? Are mooses in Sweden?

 

[Carsomyr]

Moses? Moses was a man... at the beginning of the Bible... I think...

Well yes, actually, when I was in 2nd grade a moose ran around at our school. All the children had to stay inside! 😀 Them mooses also have a habbit of walking into peoples gardens.

 

[Skipadeedoodah]

Do you know that a gymnasium is something you play basketball in?

 

[Carsomyr]

Not over here it isn't! 😛 Just in silly America-land!

 

[Bugman]

Great Guru,what is the meaning of life?

 

[RUNOFFSTAGE]

Dear mr Guru, how come I've never experienced such a sucky part of Sweden as the one you're living in? 😉

 

[General Zod]

Do you like Swiss cheese?

 

[Carsomyr]

Great Guru,what is the meaning of life?

Read the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy! 😛

Alright I'll make it simple for you. The meaning of life is 42.

Dear mr Guru, how come I've never experienced such a sucky part of Sweden as the one you're living in? 😉

Because you are a peasant living out in the middle of nowhere. You can't stand our relative civilization here on the west coast. 😀

Do you like Swiss cheese?

No, but I like Swiss Clocks!

 

[Bugman]

Alright I'll make it simple for you. The meaning of life is 42.




Thank you for clearing that up.Someone told me it was 78 but i never believed that.I want my own Viking ship to sail on Lake Travis.Can you build one for me?

 

[Carsomyr]

Thank you for clearing that up.Someone told me it was 78 but i never believed that.I want my own Viking ship to sail on Lake Travis.Can you build one for me?

I could ask Goeran the Ship-builder to help you out, but this ancient technology you speak of has been lost. Will a wooden raft suffice?

Oh, and I just consulted the town elder. He does not know where this Lake of Travis is located. Is it many moons away?

 

[Bugman]

I could ask Goeran the Ship-builder to help you out, but this ancient technology you speak of has been lost. Will a wooden raft suffice?

No,i want a true long boat with a dragon head on the bow.


Oh, and I just consulted the town elder. He does not know where this Lake of Travis is located. Is it many moons away?

I would say it is indeed many moons away from Sweden unless you catch a plane.😉

Is it true that all Swedish women are six foot tall,blond and look like Heather Locklear?

 

[Carsomyr]

All dragons live in Norway I'm afraid, including the guys who sculpture those heads. We only have trolls and giants around here.

Actually no, not all Swedish womenz are like that. 😛 We have a lot of blonde ladies though, lol, not necessarily six foot tall but still!

 

[Bugman]

All dragons live in Norway I'm afraid, including the guys who sculpture those heads. We only have trolls and giants around here.

Actually no, not all Swedish women are like that. 😛 We have a lot of blonde ladies though, lol, not necessarily six foot tall but still!

Well rats!I really want a dragon head.

Ok,i'm willing to settle for oh say 5'7" or so.Beggars can't be to picky.

Where is the best place there to catch some salmon?

 

[Mister Scruff]

What's it like living in a country where the Daily Mail doesn't exist? It must be fantastic.

 

[Carsomyr]

Well rats!I really want a dragon head.

Watch out! Those Norwegians will steal all your hard-earned monies if you hire them! 😱

Ok,i'm willing to settle for oh say 5'7" or so.Beggars can't be to picky.

Sure. Will it be alright if I paint Sanna's hair yellow and mail her to you?

Where is the best place there to catch some salmon?

The sea! Duh! 😀

 

[Carsomyr]

What's it like living in a country where the Daily Mail doesn't exist? It must be fantastic.

Yeah, who needs news? 😀

 

[punkrockergirl]

wouldnt a guru spell the right in the heading instead of he

 

[Carsomyr]

I did it to see if anyone would notice! 😀

Well not really... I guess my day was so full of win that it needed some fail to keep the balance. Mods may correct if they ever see this XD
Because I can't 🙁