Ask the Turtle Anything!

[Tortuga]

Yes, Ms. Turtle, I have a question:

If God is all powerful, can He make a rock so big that He Himself can't lift it?

Oh Jesus Christ! (HAHAHA) Considering that I'm a non-believer, and how dare you ask me such a question! No I don't think "God" can make a rock so big that he can not even lift unless he has a body like the Rock.

Is it uncool that your radio co-host likes to fuck with your head?

well it IS cool that my dearest radio co-host thinks he can fuck with my head.

 

[slacker2114]

Will my peanut butter cookies be made with chunky or smooth peanut butter?

 

[Tortuga]

Will my peanut butter cookies be made with chunky or smooth peanut butter?

chunky

 

[slacker2114]

If 42 is the answer to life, the universe and everything, then what is the question?

 

[Tortuga]

If 42 is the answer to life, the universe and everything, then what is the question?

why haven't you mowed my lawn motha fucka!?

 

[slacker2114]

why haven't you mowed my lawn motha fucka!?

Hey, I'm the one asking the questions in this thread. YOU answer them.

And anyway, why haven't you whacked ma weeds, bitch?

 

[Tortuga]

Hey, I'm the one asking the questions in this thread. YOU answer them.

And anyway, why haven't you whacked ma weeds, bitch?

because YOUR the bitch

 

[slacker2114]

Why must you always make me threaten you with a good time?

 

[Tortuga]

Why must you always make me threaten you with a good time?

because it's my nature

 

[slacker2114]

When they first invented the clock, how did they know what time it was to set it?

 

[Tortuga]

When they first invented the clock, how did they know what time it was to set it?

they squeezed a donkey's balls.

 

[slacker2114]

Who would win a fight between an extremely pissed-off Hulk and Superman?

 

[Tortuga]

i'm gonna slap you....

neither they both die because i hate 'em both!

 

[slacker2114]

Do you have any idea how cruel it would be to me if you killed off the Hulk?

 

[Tortuga]

Do you have any idea how cruel it would be to me if you killed off the Hulk?

um...very?

 

[slacker2114]

um...very?

Exactly. Now why would you want to do that to me?

 

[Tortuga]

because you keep being a turd and asking ridiculous questions

 

[venray]

What do you think of Jeff's quote in my signature?

 

[Tortuga]

HAHAH! fuckin' brillant!

 

[slacker2114]

Fine, then here's a smart question...

How can a person go eight days without sleep?

 

[arion30]

if you kick the hulk in the balls who would hurt more, his balls or your foot?

 

[Tortuga]

Fine, then here's a smart question...

How can a person go eight days without sleep?

Food, Caffiene, and NoDose

arion30: if you kick the hulk in the balls who would hurt more, his balls or your foot?

His Balls, I don't care how strong of a man you are or how muscular you think you are, no matter what the balls are gonna hurt unless your balls are made of steel. Balls are Balls!

 

[McNoodle]

Do you have a special turtle dance that you'll bust out on occasion?

 

[Tortuga]

Do you have a special turtle dance that you'll bust out on occasion?

I sometimes break into dance or song, and just complete goofiness.

 

[C.K. Storyteller]

Is there a downside to TMF fame?