Howdy Folks...
For those who have wondered... no I haven't fallen from the face of the Earth... nor have I been abducted by aliens (although I wouldn't mind that about now).
You see... not only have I been wanting a change of scenery for the past two years... but things up here among my friends have been coming to a head. I saw it coming. It was like watching a storm build on the horizon... day by day the clouds grew darker and thicker and was coming closer and closer. I thought I was gonna make it out in time... I really did.
I wanted to be 2500 miles away when shit hit the fan. I wanted to be far away and saying... "Gee, that's too bad," and "Wow, I really feel for ya," into a telephone from a safe distance.
Unfortunately the Fates had something else planned for me.
During the middle of last month a dear friend of mine whom I regard as a son left his abusive wife after spending a year in Hell. It was a hard decision for him because his wife is pregnant and is not only abusive towards him but also her 3 year old daughter from a previous relationship.
While we, his friends, were happy to see him escape... we also were in a sudden panic because he was the only thing standing in the way of her abusing and neglecting her daughter.
There were those among us who were ready to turn her into CPS last year (some of us actually knew her longer than we knew him). When he came into their lives, he took care of her little girl and she started to thrive. This little girl who had been neglected and abused to the point of moderate starvation and dehydration among other horrors suddenly started to look healthy, he took the time to see to it she was fed, changed and bathed. He started teaching her words and read to her and saw to her medical needs... all of that which her own mother failed to do.
I mean... it was so bad... that when he got with the mother (we are still calling it a bipolar moment)... the little girl had resorted to eating and drinking from the cat's dish because that was her only source of nourishment. And folks... he even had a hard time keeping her out of the toilet. Apparantly... she was also using that as a means of getting liquids. The mother... (no matter how hard we protested and tried to counsel her) used a "snatch and jerk" method of picking the little girl up by one arm. We learned later that she has dislocated the little girls shoulder 3 times doing this (this is documented in the little girls files in the local hospital).
I figuratively had my finger on the trigger when he came into their lives. When I saw the change in the little girl... I backed off. She was obviously in better hands and was doing very well.
When my friend left her... for a time... I concentrated on the legalities of him getting some kind of rights to his unborn baby. Unfortunately, there is no law regarding paternal rights until after the baby is born.
The mother... at the moment is staying with a friend of hers. We know that while there... the little girl is alright... but the mother is planning on getting a place of her own soon.
We know that would place her again at jeopardy. Not to mention it would also mean the same for the baby after it's birth due sometime in late December.
So... after kicking myself in the ass for having done nothing last spring... I rallied all of us together. All of us who saw but did nothing. Let me tell you... we have all had sleepless nights over the abuse we allowed to continue... and we deserve every nightmare we have.
I talked to my counselor. I reminded him that by law... he had to report any abuse that was disclosed to him regarding the safety of a minor. I proceeded to fill up an hour and a half of his time... I told of horrors that brought us both close to tears. He reported this while I sat there.
The result... CPS went to the house where they were staying... took a look around... said everything looked in order and left.
That was not acceptable. Not acceptable at all.
So... I called the sheriff (I knew him since before he was elected sheriff 10 years ago). When he realized who I was talking about he said... "I just had some of my men there yesterday." To which I replied, "Uh huh... but you guys didn't do a damned thing. It's not what you can see on the surface... it's what's underneath. You folks looked for a cluttered house... what you needed to look for was an abused child."
I proceeded to relate to him some of the things we had witnessed. I told him, "No one is listening. Someone, somewhere is going to listen and I'm not going to stop until someone does." I told him that the father is in the Army and is in Iraq. I told him that if I had to... I would write to the father's Commanding Officer if need be. That I would keep going up the chain of command until someone paid attention.
He asked me if all of us were willing to write depositions regarding what we saw. I told him, "Hell Pete, we're willing to take you to lunch so you can hear it straight from us if that's what it takes."
This past weekend... we wrote our depositions. Mine was the longest at 10 pages (single spaced... size 12 font - and believe me when I say mine didn't cover it all because there were things that I hadn't witnessed but others had). I was so depressed afterwards. I found out later that each one of us went through depression as we wrote our stories.
This past Monday... I placed 4 of them on his desk. There are others coming... ones that couldn't get them done on such short notice, but they are being written... and will be added to the growing pile. It's a start.
The beginning of the month... another friend had to have female surgery, so... I took her to the hospital (nearest one that does her surgery is 80 miles away) and spent the night in a motel so that I could take her home the following day. I spent the next four days at her house making sure she wasn't doing anything she shouldn't, doing her shopping, cleaning her house and threatened to bitch-slap her if she tried to do anything that looked like it was too much.
At the same time... it has become possible for me to move ahead of the schedule I had originally planned.
My landlady has a teacher lined up for my house and asked (even though I am paid til the end of September) if I could be out by September 1st.
Lo and Behold... the money I wasn't expecting for another week or so came in this past weekend.
Since Saturday... I have talked to landlord's and secured a house in Ohio (sending them a cashiers check for a full years rent plus the deposit), talked to my landlords and told them of my impending move, have renewed my car insurance, gotten my tags for the next year, gotten all my prescriptions filled, have given all the utilities my shut off requests, reserved the U-haul trailer, made appointments to have my car serviced (bought all of the filters and fluids and parts) and made an appointment to have the frontend aligned and will take her Thursday to get a trailer hitch welded to her frame.
And because I never forget that I have been helped when I have needed it most... I have given one friend enough money to start his divorce and get a car... and have also given two others enough to get themselves vehicles... one is a man who has a family to support and recently had his vehicle break down making it hard for him to get back and forth to work.
In all of this I still have friends that I have known for 13 years to visit and say goodbye to...
and...
On Monday... August 14th... I'll be headed out of Washington and on my way to Ohio.
So... you see folks... I have a darned good excuse as to why I have been kinda scarce here on the forums.
Some of my online friends have taken my silence to mean that I no longer wish to talk to them although I have tried to keep them informed of why I can't talk to them as much or spend as much time on the net as I used to. These are the ones who feel slighted even though I have been extremely busy and occupied with my life outside of the net and the forums. To those... I am tiring of having to apologize to and I refuse to keep feeling guilty.
There are some however who have been very patient and understanding of the sudden, hectic pace that my days have been accelerated to. These folk have been nothing but encouraging and supportive and have in no way made me feel that they felt our friendship was in jeopardy just because there have been lapses in our communications. To these, I can only say that I appreciate your friendship even more, and thank them for not giving up on me.
Smiley, MasterTank, LovesHeels, Flock, Kered (among a few others)... You guys ROCK!
I hope to be back and posting (a little more than I have lately) soon after I get to where I'm going and get things turned on and hooked up.
If I can't seem to crawl back in here before I get on the road... I wish you all the best... I'll take pics during my cross country trip and give ya'll a pictorial update as soon as I can.
Big bear hugs all around...
Wishing you Grins and Giggles...
MZ
For those who have wondered... no I haven't fallen from the face of the Earth... nor have I been abducted by aliens (although I wouldn't mind that about now).
You see... not only have I been wanting a change of scenery for the past two years... but things up here among my friends have been coming to a head. I saw it coming. It was like watching a storm build on the horizon... day by day the clouds grew darker and thicker and was coming closer and closer. I thought I was gonna make it out in time... I really did.
I wanted to be 2500 miles away when shit hit the fan. I wanted to be far away and saying... "Gee, that's too bad," and "Wow, I really feel for ya," into a telephone from a safe distance.
Unfortunately the Fates had something else planned for me.
During the middle of last month a dear friend of mine whom I regard as a son left his abusive wife after spending a year in Hell. It was a hard decision for him because his wife is pregnant and is not only abusive towards him but also her 3 year old daughter from a previous relationship.
While we, his friends, were happy to see him escape... we also were in a sudden panic because he was the only thing standing in the way of her abusing and neglecting her daughter.
There were those among us who were ready to turn her into CPS last year (some of us actually knew her longer than we knew him). When he came into their lives, he took care of her little girl and she started to thrive. This little girl who had been neglected and abused to the point of moderate starvation and dehydration among other horrors suddenly started to look healthy, he took the time to see to it she was fed, changed and bathed. He started teaching her words and read to her and saw to her medical needs... all of that which her own mother failed to do.
I mean... it was so bad... that when he got with the mother (we are still calling it a bipolar moment)... the little girl had resorted to eating and drinking from the cat's dish because that was her only source of nourishment. And folks... he even had a hard time keeping her out of the toilet. Apparantly... she was also using that as a means of getting liquids. The mother... (no matter how hard we protested and tried to counsel her) used a "snatch and jerk" method of picking the little girl up by one arm. We learned later that she has dislocated the little girls shoulder 3 times doing this (this is documented in the little girls files in the local hospital).
I figuratively had my finger on the trigger when he came into their lives. When I saw the change in the little girl... I backed off. She was obviously in better hands and was doing very well.
When my friend left her... for a time... I concentrated on the legalities of him getting some kind of rights to his unborn baby. Unfortunately, there is no law regarding paternal rights until after the baby is born.
The mother... at the moment is staying with a friend of hers. We know that while there... the little girl is alright... but the mother is planning on getting a place of her own soon.
We know that would place her again at jeopardy. Not to mention it would also mean the same for the baby after it's birth due sometime in late December.
So... after kicking myself in the ass for having done nothing last spring... I rallied all of us together. All of us who saw but did nothing. Let me tell you... we have all had sleepless nights over the abuse we allowed to continue... and we deserve every nightmare we have.
I talked to my counselor. I reminded him that by law... he had to report any abuse that was disclosed to him regarding the safety of a minor. I proceeded to fill up an hour and a half of his time... I told of horrors that brought us both close to tears. He reported this while I sat there.
The result... CPS went to the house where they were staying... took a look around... said everything looked in order and left.
That was not acceptable. Not acceptable at all.
So... I called the sheriff (I knew him since before he was elected sheriff 10 years ago). When he realized who I was talking about he said... "I just had some of my men there yesterday." To which I replied, "Uh huh... but you guys didn't do a damned thing. It's not what you can see on the surface... it's what's underneath. You folks looked for a cluttered house... what you needed to look for was an abused child."
I proceeded to relate to him some of the things we had witnessed. I told him, "No one is listening. Someone, somewhere is going to listen and I'm not going to stop until someone does." I told him that the father is in the Army and is in Iraq. I told him that if I had to... I would write to the father's Commanding Officer if need be. That I would keep going up the chain of command until someone paid attention.
He asked me if all of us were willing to write depositions regarding what we saw. I told him, "Hell Pete, we're willing to take you to lunch so you can hear it straight from us if that's what it takes."
This past weekend... we wrote our depositions. Mine was the longest at 10 pages (single spaced... size 12 font - and believe me when I say mine didn't cover it all because there were things that I hadn't witnessed but others had). I was so depressed afterwards. I found out later that each one of us went through depression as we wrote our stories.
This past Monday... I placed 4 of them on his desk. There are others coming... ones that couldn't get them done on such short notice, but they are being written... and will be added to the growing pile. It's a start.
The beginning of the month... another friend had to have female surgery, so... I took her to the hospital (nearest one that does her surgery is 80 miles away) and spent the night in a motel so that I could take her home the following day. I spent the next four days at her house making sure she wasn't doing anything she shouldn't, doing her shopping, cleaning her house and threatened to bitch-slap her if she tried to do anything that looked like it was too much.
At the same time... it has become possible for me to move ahead of the schedule I had originally planned.
My landlady has a teacher lined up for my house and asked (even though I am paid til the end of September) if I could be out by September 1st.
Lo and Behold... the money I wasn't expecting for another week or so came in this past weekend.
Since Saturday... I have talked to landlord's and secured a house in Ohio (sending them a cashiers check for a full years rent plus the deposit), talked to my landlords and told them of my impending move, have renewed my car insurance, gotten my tags for the next year, gotten all my prescriptions filled, have given all the utilities my shut off requests, reserved the U-haul trailer, made appointments to have my car serviced (bought all of the filters and fluids and parts) and made an appointment to have the frontend aligned and will take her Thursday to get a trailer hitch welded to her frame.
And because I never forget that I have been helped when I have needed it most... I have given one friend enough money to start his divorce and get a car... and have also given two others enough to get themselves vehicles... one is a man who has a family to support and recently had his vehicle break down making it hard for him to get back and forth to work.
In all of this I still have friends that I have known for 13 years to visit and say goodbye to...
and...
On Monday... August 14th... I'll be headed out of Washington and on my way to Ohio.
So... you see folks... I have a darned good excuse as to why I have been kinda scarce here on the forums.
Some of my online friends have taken my silence to mean that I no longer wish to talk to them although I have tried to keep them informed of why I can't talk to them as much or spend as much time on the net as I used to. These are the ones who feel slighted even though I have been extremely busy and occupied with my life outside of the net and the forums. To those... I am tiring of having to apologize to and I refuse to keep feeling guilty.
There are some however who have been very patient and understanding of the sudden, hectic pace that my days have been accelerated to. These folk have been nothing but encouraging and supportive and have in no way made me feel that they felt our friendship was in jeopardy just because there have been lapses in our communications. To these, I can only say that I appreciate your friendship even more, and thank them for not giving up on me.
Smiley, MasterTank, LovesHeels, Flock, Kered (among a few others)... You guys ROCK!
I hope to be back and posting (a little more than I have lately) soon after I get to where I'm going and get things turned on and hooked up.
If I can't seem to crawl back in here before I get on the road... I wish you all the best... I'll take pics during my cross country trip and give ya'll a pictorial update as soon as I can.
Big bear hugs all around...
Wishing you Grins and Giggles...
MZ
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