Chuck Norris

[Tamia78]

Chuck Norris wears ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.

 

[Lazarus]

To see that Chuck Norris kicked ass up until the very end of his life, just watch "The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny"...

I heard it was done in one take.

😉

 

[natural tickler]

Chuck Norris is the only man to walk on the moon without a spacesuit

His mother was molested by Bigfoot, and Chuck is their mutant offspring

 

[Tamia78]

My favorite one!

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

 

[tickleterror]

Chuck Norris once ate an entire ream of rice paper and shat out 20 life size origami swans and Mister Miyagi from Karate Kid.

 

[Tamia78]

Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.

 

[tickleterror]

Anacondas are actually the Chuck Norris sperm that got away, incidentally he doesn't need them as he can impregnate women by pointing his finger and saying Booyah, also using the same finger he once shot a plane down by pointing and saying bang.

 

[kered]

Chuck Norris drinks Bud Light and pisses Gin.

 

[Ticklerguy4u]

Because of hollywood. Chuck Norris had to shorten his name. It's actually..

Chuckahead Noralla Risbin

 

[Strider]

Chuck Norris does not go hunting because hunting implies the possibility of failure; Chuck Norris goes killing

 

[Tamia78]

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

 

[Strider]

Chuck Norris once lost his keys and beat himself up until he remembered where they were

 

[tickleterror]

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

 

[Tamia78]

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

 

[tickleterror]

Chuck Norris Once Ripped Out His Grandmothers Throat For Forgetting His Favorite Pie At Chirstsmas, Shortly After Norris Found Out She Was Playing a Joke On Him And Had Actually Brought The Pie, Norris Ressurected His Dead Grandmother By Round House Kicking Jesus.

 

[Tamia78]

When Chuck Norris was denied a Bacon McMuffin at McDonalds because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a KFC.

 

[tickleterror]

Chuck norris ordered a big mac at burger king and got one.

 

[Tamia78]

Omg! THAT was good! Can't stop laughing....

If Superman and The Flash were to race to the edge of space you know who would win? Chuck Norris.

 

[tickleterror]

Chuck Norris goes to KFC and orders the bucket on the roof then gets it.

 

[Tamia78]

Tee Hee!

Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Never.

 

[tickleterror]

He did blink once after taking a whole bottle of elephant tranquilizer.

 

[Tamia78]

*roundhouse kicks tickleterror in the face for calling Chuck Norris a liar* 😛

 

[tickleterror]

......................... *the only thing going through tickleterrors mind right now is Chuck Norris' foot*

 

[tulipangel]

lmao now THIS is a funny thread!

 

[tickleterror]

Theres a video floating on the net somewhere of chuck norris reading his ten fave chuck norris jokes.