Divorce

[Camel26]

After 6+ years together, and over a year of somewhat legal marriage, my wife has moved on and decided she doesn't want to be in a relationship right now...

So much for taking our vows to heart.

Regardless, to say that I'm completely crushed would be the understatement of the century.

I'm losing my wife, lover, partner, best friend, Ler, and the life that I had envisioned for us...

If I'm not around much over the next few months, please understand...I'm trying to heal...and lick my wounds privately...

I need love and support right now. And if anyone is in Pittsburgh...I need to not be alone (read: alone in the sense of personal space...I'm NOT looking for a new Ler or relationship anytime soon...friends would be awesome)...alone = thinking time...thinking = bad.

Thank you all who have been there throughout the last few months that I fought alone for my marriage...your support and love continues to be an incredible source of strength.

*wipes away tears*

To those who have been here...how in the world does this get better? How does the immense sadness go away? Advice would be incredible...

For now...I'm taking it day by day...it's all I can do...

I love you guys.

 

[Wade1]

Oh no!! Camel, I'm so, so sorry. I am not in Pittsburgh, but in the unlikely event there's anything I can do for you, I am so very at your disposal.

 

[Violetta]

Dear God, Camel... This is horrible news, and I wish this wasn't something you had to suffer.

The sadness will go away, but it will be some time before it passes. In a sense, this is much like surviving a death. Though a person hasn't died, the life you two might have had has been lost. You'll go through similar periods of emotion. At times you'll find yourself hating your wife for breaking your heart, and at others you'll find yourself feeling guilty, wondering what you could have done differently. Beware what these feelings can make you do, and you're right in that you don't need to look for a new relationship soon. That can drive you into some very bad decisions.

I pray that you do have a very good friend, or several would be better, close at hand. A good friend will let you lean heavily on them for support, and there's no shame in doing exactly that. Your life has had its legs kicked out from under it, and no one should rightly expect you'll be standing just fine right afterwards.

I'm sorry that I don't have a lot of more hopeful things to say, but it's the reality of it that I've found. In time, you will move on, and this will be a part of your past. For now, though, give living the priority. Spend time amongst people you know and trust and love. Take as much time for yourself as you need. And as someone who's been through a divorce myself, if you ever need anything from me, though we've not talked much in the past, my keyboard and phone are always close at hand if you need me.

You're in my prayers, Cammella.

 

[kopfhorer1]

I'm not too coherent at this hour, but I cannot sign off without telling you that I've been where you're at (more than once) and I know from whence you speak.Unfortunately, I live several hours away from Pittsburgh. I don't always come here every day, but please don't be shy about IM-ing me.

I agree with what Bella Donna has said here.

 

[Duke Diablo]

Let me repeat what everyone before me said, Camel: I'm really sorry things turned out this way.

It will take time for the pain to cease, but let me assure you: it is only hopeless if you allow it to be so. All those talks of 'be strong' might seem foolish but, if this girl broke your heart so, trust me, she's not worth you falling apart because of her.

I'm really far away from Pitt... a continent away, even, but if you wish to talk over IM, mail, or PM, I'm here.

 

[The_Crusader]

I wish I could say something more helpful, but what everybody has told you is true. I know nobody here knows me real well, but nobody should have to go through this kind of thing alone, and I think I speak for all of us here at TT when I say we're here for you.

 

[melanie2]

o Camel my friend..i'm so sorry..i wish i could make it up there and give you a hug or something...sighs..no i've not been there...however like any loss, it takes time...you will go thru steps like you do with grief..but you will pull through..i know you..you are strong..keep your chin up girl...we all love you..

 

[MistressValerie1]

I am deeply sorry to hear of this, my dear. I understand what you are going through; please feel free to PM, IM, or e-mail me any time if I can be of help.

All the best,
Valerie

 

[QueenBeeBeeMari]

Oh no,I wish I was near Pittsburgh I'd come sit with you.I am here for you if you want to talk sweety.I wish there was a magic cure for this kind of pain but only time can heal this kind of wound.Best of wishes.May the times get easier for you and your wounds heal soon.

 

[Frost King]

Thats awful news camel i'm so sorry.

 

[Budweiserbob!]

Wow... I never would have thought your relationship would end up like this. This is... damn... I'm kinda speechless. 🙁

I'm sorry to hear this and if there's anything I can do, don't hesitate in giving me a PM.

 

[jmpopov]

Very sorry to hear, Camel 🙁 I'm in da 'Burgh... and have a lot more free time now... my 3 year relationship recently ended, so I kinda know what you're going through. Feel free to drop me a line.

 

[vmandude1]

im so sorry * hugs * i wish i could say more.....if u want someone to talk to, let me know, im all ears....or eyes, as the case may be. id say how im going through the same thing since march and whatnot, but i doubt relating my expierience of being heartbroken would help, so i wont. just know that while the pain and sorrow will linger likely for as long as u live, eventually you will grow to be able to suppress the sadness and move on, be happy, and find someone better/more deserving of ur affection

 

[TKLVR181]

I can't say much more than I've already said, but if you need me, you know how to get in touch with me--I don't care if it's 2am. *hugs*

~Karen

 

[Camel26]

Thank you all for the love and support...it's much needed during these troubling days/weeks ahead...

This has been coming for months...she checked out of the marriage long ago...would have been decent of her to tell me she was done instead of stringing me along and hurting me for months...over and over again...she's made her bed. Good luck.

As for me, I'll land eventually. The next few months will be excruciating. But I will get by. I always do. And I have the love and support of amazing folks like you who, even though you haven't met me are making me feel so loved...

Though...I already got a PM from some insensitive douche biscuit about how he wants me to tie him up in a specific way and tickle him in a specific way that will make him pee within 15 mins...and I should put down towels first...no hello...no introductions...just that...some people have no class. The ink isn't even dry on my divorce papers yet...seriously. Tact is an art.

As for the rest of you, you're all amazing. JM--maybe after the holidays, I'll introduce you to the scene here. It's a fun group.

Happy Holidays and a Happy and a Healthy New Year to all!!!

 

[Budweiserbob!]

Though...I already got a PM from some insensitive douche biscuit about how he wants me to tie him up in a specific way and tickle him in a specific way that will make him pee within 15 mins...and I should put down towels first...no hello...no introductions...just that...some people have no class.

PM me his name and I will have a word with him. A serious word. >_>

 

[HOLLYWOOD]

camel26: the hollywood brother has known you for many years and has been very supportive of you all this time. the hollywood brother can not even begin to imagien the pain that you is in right now. there are no magic words or elixir or tickling enchaner that will make you better. there is no magic wand or soniccare that has the power to make you whole again. you have suffered a very bad loss. from the one time we met the hollywood brother knew right away what your wife met to you. The hollywood brother wishes that he could rub out the pain and the hurt for you. the hollywood brother wishes that he could transfrom the grey world your in right now and make it like a warm sunny jersey shore day at the beach. the reality is that it will be dark and painful for you for a while. there is no getting around that. however what you need to keep in mind is that there are millions and millions of the hollywood brother fans that support you and want the best for you. just remember that yes you are down and out right now. yes it is true that is is a bad time right now but you got to remember that you will survive. you will get better and you will go on. the hollywood brother believes in you camel and the hollywood brother knows that the type of person that you are you will love again someday. it will take a long time to get better but just keep the faith that it will get better. the hollywood brother always thought that you deserve love and happiness in your life and the hollywood brother will always want that for you. just hang in there and remember that just like in a rocky training montage you will get stronger and better. it takes a while but you will get your eye of the tiger back someday. also if it helps please remember that the hollywood brother is always availabe by private message and that the hollywood brother will always be in your corner

 

[gilmourwaters]

I am shocked and very saddened to hear about your break up. Yes It will be hard to cope with for awhile but I know you will come out of it on top! Just know that we all support you and are here for you if you need us! There is true love out there..and I have no doubts you will find it!

 

[FeatherDaemon1]

I really am sorry to hear this. Many of us have been there or are currently there with you. A little over a year ago my wife and I went our separate ways. You will heal, but it will take time. You are wise to ask for the help of friends in this. Too many people feel they need to go this alone. I feel that is a longer and more difficult path. Only the feeling of absence is magnified. Reaching out to your friends will help. It really helped in my case. We call people friends for a reason and that is to be at your side in times like this. Your soul will find the balm it seeks.

 

[CellarDweller]

Oh Cam,

I'm so sorry that you have to experinece this, it's such an awful feeling to go through.

When my former partner broke up with me, I was devastated. I burst into tears at the drop of a hat, songs would send me into sobs.

I went into therapy, and it was the best thing for me. I highly recommend it. You're not crazy, you've been thrown for such a loop, and it will be a rock for you.

I will give you 4 things to focus on, which my therapist gave me.

#1. Physical exercise. Whether it be jogging, cycling, yoga, whatever....something that will keep your physical well being intact.

#2. Spiritually. Whatever brings you peace, find it and practice it. Walks in the park, church, meditation, chanting, anything.

#3. Emotional expression. Write lyrics, songs, poems, stories. Pour your feelings out into a letter. Whether you share them or keep them private is up to you. However, don't hold them in and allow them to fester. Get it out of your system, and express them. It helps the healing.

#4. This is the hardest one. NO NEGATIVE THOUGHTS. Yes, you can say "I'm sad this happened." Don't say "It's my fault this happened.", or "If I wasn't stupid, I could've stoped this." or "I deserve this." You are an attractive, smart, funny woman. At one point someone who deserves you will see that. Just give it some time, and give yourself some time to heal.

Love you, sweetheart!

Chuck

 

[theteam1]

I'm sorry to hear this. I'm sure things will get better over time. Although it will be hard, keep positive and try to have fun.

Take care.