Do Men like a "Take Charge" kinda girl?

[LindyHopper]

When a woman asks me out I say to myself 'I wonder how many other men she asks out?'

Do you think the same thing about any woman willing to have sex with you? "I wonder how many other men she puts out for?" Your statement suggests some strange intolerance of women controlling their own fates, not to mention some confusion about what initiative means. I mean, as you suggest, a pretty girl can sleep around left and right without ever asking a man out. Is that better somehow?

Much as I enjoy the assertive attentions of a confident man who's interested in me, I just can't get behind the idea that we should just sit around at let the men decide who "deserves" to get a date.

 

[Bugman]

If a lady asked me out,i would most likley pass out from shock hehe.

 

[CitY of MicA]

Anyway, there are a lot of reasons a woman can/should approach a guy that have nothing to do with shyness. He may just be passing though and just not have noticed her at all. Maybe he wrongly assumes that "friend" she's with is actually her s/o. Maybe it's in the workplace and he fears the ol' sexual harrassment boom might be lowered. (I've passed on making an overt first move in that situation before.) Who knows? So I just think of it as she's more of a 'carpe diem' kinda gal. Fun, fun, fun! 😀

Well Reasoned, Mr P. I like when it happens myself. Sometimes, when I was in school, it came from someone unexpected, whom I only knew peripherally. A couple times, in bars or cafes, someone approached 'cold.' We hadn't even made eye contact- it took a lot of guts. But one of the main reasons I like it is because I know the girl has interest. And why shouldn't woman be able to create their own opportunities and happiness with whomever they wish (you don't have to answer that)?

 

[Knox The Hatter]

Biker's got a very old fashioned way of looking at things. There's a certain kind of woman he likes to pursue, and he probably only pursues a woman who likes being pursued. That's his world, and I have no problem with it, really...

As for me, it never mattered all that much. When I was young, I always questioned those old fashioned customs, anyway, like I questioned everything else. I enjoyed it greatly when a woman asked me out for a drink, or a date, or whatever. I thought there was too much energy expended worrying about who does what.

 

[Mitchell]

I'd love if a nice girl persued me, and asked me out. My philosophy about asking out is much the same as it is about tickling. I am a switch, and like to take turns. I would have no problem at all if a nice girl got the ball rolling with me. This having been said, I wouldn't want a "take charge kind of woman" , who would attempt to control everything we do on the date, or in the relationship, or marriage, if it got that far. I need input, too, and need to have my preferences heard, considered, and hopefully taken into account. A relationship to me is just that, a partnership, but, that being said, if someone wanted to make the first move on me, I'd be like:" Sure, go for it"

Mitch

 

[kurchatovium]

I like when a women asks me out. I have no problem with it. I wish more women would do it. 😀

 

[Avenger314]

Frankly, I'd love it if girls pursued me, flirted with me, asked me on dates, etc. More accurately, I'd have loved it if they did that when I was single.

Seriously though, I see no reason why that would be a problem. In fact, it would have been quite preferable. I don't mind asking a girl out, but I don't want to create a reputation of going through a lot of women. (A girl who heard I asked out someone else would have been a lot less likely to say yes to me).

I hate 'the chase.' I have respect for myself, and I like other people to have respect for me as well. I don't like people playing mind games with me and I don't play them with others. Ever hear that expression, "The only man worth your tears is the only man who will never make you cry?" Well... the only woman worth chasing is the woman who's already there for you anyway.

 

[Tamia78]

Well said, everyone! Thanks for the responses!

--T

 

[BikerBadBoy]

last post on this

O.K. I'm wrong and everyone else is right. I guess I can't have an opinion. The questions was asked regarding preference and I answered my way. If questions are to be asked where there are tow answers don't argue with me about mine. You all feel one way, I feel another. If we all felt the same the world would be too vanilla. I am who I am as Popeye said. I on't like a woman asking me out. I believe a woman is precious and all are deserving. That is what I meant. A man should go out of his way always for something he wants. Show the woman she is wanted and worth it. So go ahead everyone. I know I must have said something wrong in this post as well so bash away. Not taking it personal. Used to being out on a limb - by myself. I am a loner after all.

 

[Ticklerguy4u]

Personally I think a guy that doesn't like a woman to be a little aggressive can't handle them. All they want is a mindless drone. What the hell?! IF she likes me then SPEAK UP.

If a woman ask a guy out is no different then a guy asking a woman out. I see don't them no different. I think to myself.."well she certainly knows what she wants...ME."

It's much better that way anyway. Guys are always confused with mix signals anyway its time both genders felt the humilation of rejection.. 😛

 

[Tamia78]

O.K. I'm wrong and everyone else is right. I guess I can't have an opinion. The questions was asked regarding preference and I answered my way. If questions are to be asked where there are tow answers don't argue with me about mine. You all feel one way, I feel another. If we all felt the same the world would be too vanilla. I am who I am as Popeye said. I on't like a woman asking me out. I believe a woman is precious and all are deserving. That is what I meant. A man should go out of his way always for something he wants. Show the woman she is wanted and worth it. So go ahead everyone. I know I must have said something wrong in this post as well so bash away. Not taking it personal. Used to being out on a limb - by myself. I am a loner after all.

NO, NO, NO! It's fine to have your own opinion, that's what a discussion is for. You didn't say anything wrong, and no harm in stating what you like. No one's bashing anyone here.

--T

 

[Ticklerguy4u]

O.K. I'm wrong and everyone else is right. I guess I can't have an opinion. The questions was asked regarding preference and I answered my way. If questions are to be asked where there are tow answers don't argue with me about mine. You all feel one way, I feel another. If we all felt the same the world would be too vanilla. I am who I am as Popeye said. I on't like a woman asking me out. I believe a woman is precious and all are deserving. That is what I meant. A man should go out of his way always for something he wants. Show the woman she is wanted and worth it. So go ahead everyone. I know I must have said something wrong in this post as well so bash away. Not taking it personal. Used to being out on a limb - by myself. I am a loner after all.

you don't need to feel sorry for yourself dude. It just sounds like you want to be the dominant person in your relationship..controlling the situation. If she asks you out..so what? whats the big deal? Maybe you didn't act fast enough for her or maybe she liked you the minute she saw you and doesn't feel like playing the waiting game. Or are you a guy that is attracted to someone, waste no time in asking them out and therefore if a woman has time to ask you out..it's only because you never gave them any signals and consider her unattractive.

 

[terorizer]

Actually I like that, because that tells me she knows what she wants. I like a woman with initiative, ambition

good question Tamia

Agreed and agreed.

Also, I tend to be dumb when it comes to subtle hints, so a woman could TOTALLY be off my radar, for no other reason than my mind's just somewhere else or hasn't gone there to think to ask her out.

 

[BikerBadBoy]

Opinions

O.K. This is my last post on this definitely. Only becuase I was PERSONALLY attacked by several members. First and foremost, don't EVER question my make up or personality. TicklrGuy4U said "maybe a guy can't handle" an agressive woman. I'm only going to say I haven't talked about anyone specifically and I expect the same. I can more than handle ANY woman and I could turn that around and say that a man who likes a girl asking him out is a wimp because he oesn't have the guts to do it himself. If anyone wants to challange me - bring it on! I have an opinion and that's it. End of story. If you don't like it - go sit and sulk somewhere. I'm sure some girl will approach you and comfort you in your sorrow. After all, you "sensitive men" need attention too.

 

[thx10050]

Well, for me, it's been a bit of a mixed bag. My fiancee was too nervous to make a move, in terms of letting me know she was interested in getting together as a couple. But since that time five years ago, she's basically initiated everything else that's...personal. It doesn't mean I haven't taken the initiative in some things, but yeah, most of the time... Quite frankly, I think that's awesome and she surprised me every time really.

Anyways, I completely agree with what Tamia wrote earlier, in that both the man and the woman in the relationship should be willing to go out of their way for each other. In my opinion, relationships are a two-way street and should remain as such.

 

[isabeau]

Look, a question was asked and people stated how they felt. Biker stated how things are for him and he has that right to do so, without getting attacked or questioned about his beliefs. Even if one doesn't agree with what he said, especially considering what he said seems to have offended many here, i think we should respect his opinion..I know i respect his opinion. And what he said took courage to state so openly.

 

[DannyMc]

We all have our ways of seeing things and we all have our ways of doing things . This thread in my eyes showed all that , and since it is a forum the opinions will differ and interact . Sometimes seeing one way doesn't give the sight of seeing another . I 'd say many things were brought out and things learned . I don't know if any opinions will be changed
but atleast it so seems that different ways have a way of working for people .

 

[Tamia78]

TIME OUT!

Geesh, I didn't think crap like this is going to happen without people getting all emotional and shit. I posted a question. Simple as that. I wanted to know opinions........people gave me their opinion. Thank you to everyone (and I mean everyone) who contributed. I got my answer. Some feel one way, and some feel another. But then again, that's what happens when you have different personalities. I expect that.

Perhaps it was misinterpretation of wording in some of the posts that caused those (probably including me) to respond negatively.


So....Everybody get along....or ELSE! (DON'T make me turn this car around! )
--T

 

[BikerBadBoy]

Put this to bed already

So true Danny. Your post was short and to the point. Couldn't have said it better myself (cause I usually don't).

Yes. You too isabeau. I do appreciate your post to this thread.

A badboy finds comfort in a good girls understanding arms.

 

[just4fun618]

True, men are more dominant most of the time.

I have to disagree; men are overtly dominant, but females are more covertly dominant, using subtle hints at first to see what type of strategy she want to use to control every expect of the relationship; much like a cat toying with her prey before killing it slowly.

Ladies travels in group for safety , the group lay in wait for a simple minded man to step into their lair. Allowing him to think that he’s will be able to separate the weak one from the rest of the collective . But little does he know that he just step into their plan. and just like a pace of rabbit wolves they rip him apart.
😱

 

[Tamia78]

I have to disagree; men are overtly dominant, but females are more covertly dominant, using subtle hints at first to see what type of strategy she want to use to control every expect of the relationship; much like a cat toying with her prey before killing it slowly.

Ladies travels in group for safety , the group lay in wait for a simple minded man to step into their lair. Allowing him to think that he’s will be able to separate the weak one from the rest of the collective . But little does he know that he just step into their plan. and just like a pace of rabbit wolves they rip him apart.
😱

You are silly....of COURSE we don't do that. *dispatching my female minions to "take care" of the zealot*

 

[just4fun618]

You are silly....of COURSE we don't do that. *dispatching my female minions to "take care" of the zealot*

that type of pictures you showing on your sig?

 

[LindyHopper]

O.K. This is my last post on this definitely. Only becuase I was PERSONALLY attacked by several members. First and foremost, don't EVER question my make up or personality. TicklrGuy4U said "maybe a guy can't handle" an agressive woman. I'm only going to say I haven't talked about anyone specifically and I expect the same. I can more than handle ANY woman and I could turn that around and say that a man who likes a girl asking him out is a wimp because he oesn't have the guts to do it himself. If anyone wants to challange me - bring it on! I have an opinion and that's it. End of story. If you don't like it - go sit and sulk somewhere. I'm sure some girl will approach you and comfort you in your sorrow. After all, you "sensitive men" need attention too.

Oh, quit your bellyaching, you haven't been attacked. You expressed your opinion, and other people expressed their opinion about your opinion. That's not an attack, that's called "discussion."

When other people disagree with me, or ask me questions about why I feel as I do, I perceive it as an opportunity to think more deeply about my position in order to refine and clarify it. Fielding other people's questions or objections enables me to gain a better understanding of what I think, and the underlying emotions or assumptions that may be behind it. Of course, I would also be free to keep repeating and reiterating my opinion without supporting it, and simply whine when other people disagree with me. However, that would neither persuade them to my way of seeing things, nor advance my own self-understanding.

To summarize:
Asking questions / commenting on someone's opinion = discussion
Calling someone nasty names or criticizing them as a person = personal attack

Please let me know if you need any further clarification about what goes on in a "Discussion Forum."

 

[thx10050]

You obviously didn't read past that post of his. No need for another post that could be interpreted as a personal attack.

 

[LindyHopper]

You obviously didn't read past that post of his. No need for another post that could be interpreted as a personal attack.

Yes I did. Ticklerguy4u was speaking in general terms, about "a guy that doesn't like a woman to be a little aggressive." If BikerBadBoy didn't feel that that generality applied to him, he was free to explain why not. In any case, as far as I'm concerned, Ticklerguy4u expressed his opinion within the constraints of the Golden Rule, and if somebody takes it personally, that their problem, not his.