Fetish or not?

[wishfoot88]

hi guys, first time posting in quite a while.
i've kinda got another weird topic. i class myself as Asexual, and yet i have a "fetish" for feet, tickling, bondage etc...
i find it hard getting my head around this, let alone explaining it to other. i have zero interest in any form of sex, be it hetero, homo, bi, whatever. and when i think about feet and tickling, i get the usual sexual response, but my fantasies don't involve any form of sexual contact. it's just tickling. no foreplay or anything else, just plain old tickling of the feet and upper body.
alot of people tell me that "it's just a phase" and the only reason i don't want sex is because i've never had it, but i know that i'm interested in other things, and even then it's sensual more than anything else.
anyone else get like this?
i'm literally the only person i know who has no interest in sex, which is not exactly easy, especially when practically everyone i know is also a tickle-footphobe.

 

[Myriads]

Asexuality is not uncommon, often it exists due to physical reasons, hormonal systems not working etc, but it can be pulled as a psychological response to… well a lot of stuff. It's a rejection of practiced sexuality at it's base.

Paraphilia form up when you are still in your sexual maturation phase, and predate a functional sexuality. They are basically triggers that get pre-loaded into you that will function as sexual cues.

So it's not surprising that you have a paraphilia (Tickling) but it's out there hanging, because your greater sexuality and it's responses have been muted by the asexuality that has come into force rather then a more normative sexuality.

In short your body is physically cued up to respond to tickling with arousal. You are also set up to have no place to put that arousal. It's a vestigial echo of your sexuality.

On the plus side it shows your asexuality is probably not physical, but psychological.

Think of it as if you smelled something super yummy smelling right after you ate a huge meal. Your body says "WANT!" but it also says "FULL!" and you have nothing to do with the WANT! feeling.

Myriads

 

[Franky]

First off, you are not the only kinky asexual or asexual with a fetish running around. I've met a few at kink events.

Ok, now that I got that out of the way if you haven't been to AVEN yet you might want to check it out I know a few years back a thread was started up about fetishes and kinks. And on fetlife there are some asexual groups too and there was a very recent thread about a new kinky site called Acefet. I haven't checked it out yet. <- Internet proof that you are not alone, but there may or may not be others around you.

Anyways, I haven't had any troubles with negotiating play dates/scenes with other kinky people that only involve the kinky stuff and no sex. Though, it does help to be in an area with a large and diverse group of people.

 

[TripleH1]

Asexual with tickling fetish right here as well.

 

[Jasonish]

I think im the same!

Sent from my GT-I8160 using Tapatalk 2

 

[wishfoot88]

thanks for the replies, nice to know i'm not alone on this. always thought of myself as being a more sensually focused person, though the notion of a relationship hasn't been appealing for a good long while. friendships are easy, even ones with friendly playful tickling, but as soon as things get even close to a serious relationship, everything gets too complicated.
i think Myriads hit the nail on the head. thanks to you dude, never had such a full and understanding answer to a question before. i've tried relationships before, but things fall apart when they get to "that" point. i've always been in a fairly vanilla environment. in my area, sexual attraction is binary, you're either straight or gay. not even bisexualism seems to be accepted. and while i've been open about my kinks with friends, and they have been understanding, i always get the sense that they don't quite understand it, and that it will always be regarded as weird.
but anyways, thanks to all for letting me know that others like me exist. always thought of it as a unlikely mix of likes and dislikes, glad to see i'm wrong

 

[Studious_Hustler]

Wishfoot, I'm assuming you can orgasm from thinking about tickling and other things that excite you? I'm no expert on human asexuality, but from what I understand, asexuals can orgasm perfectly as well as sexual people do. Which leads me to wonder--what's the difference between an asexual person who can orgasm from tickling and a "sexual" person who only orgasms from tickling because they have an extremely limiting paraphilia?

Is it just a difference in what you call it? Does it come down to one person wanting to be in a romantic relationship, and the other one not wanting that? But I've met a self-described "panromantic asexual" before, so how does that fit?

Interesting topic, Wishfoot. It makes me think!

 

[wishfoot88]

i guess it's hard to define down to a simple word. i have no desire for sexual contact, or a relationship that involves any kind of sexuality. yet, tickling, feet, etc, all bring the usual sexual sensations. i tend to think that i am more sensually orientated, and that acts of sex aren't necessary.
this is why i have trouble using the word "fetish", since it denotes a sexual interest. that word suggests that the act is equal to sex, or involves it in some way, while my interest never really has.
also, glad to have brought a thought provoking thread along, not sure why this train of thought popped into my head recently, but it's been confusing me a bit, and i've been interested in seeing other people's views on it

 

[FeatherEndeavor]

Well the word fetish means having sexual feelings or being sexually aroused by a body part or act that is not usually associated with sex (ex. feet and tickling). So I think the word still applies to you even if it turns out you are asexual.

Just curious. Are you very attached to the area you live in? From the things you've said in your threads it sounds like you live in a place where most of the people have a very traditional mindset. Sounds like you have good friends that want to support you but don't really get you. Would you ever consider moving somewhere where people are a little more understanding? A little more accepting of differences?

 

[Franky]

Actually it can be easy to define it down to a simple word(s), if you think of the word sex like a recipe and the ingredients are what define the sex. And many people are going to have similar ingredients, but not all the ingredients are always going to be the same. Like how fucking, quickies, and making love are used to describe different types of sex. But, they all involve some form of penetration in a minimum of one participant. The act of penetration can include, but are not limited to, penises, fingers and dildos. While the orifice being penetrated is also not limited to vaginal there are of course the anus and mouth. While things like foreplay, kinky elements, or indulging in a fetish before or during the penetration is not required for sex, but for some it is the difference between good and bad sex.
Now for some indulging in foreplay, kink, or fetishes with no penetration will not make sense to them since that would be the pre-requisite that needs to lead to penetration for them. And there are others who can indulge in foreplay, kink, or fetishes without it leading to penetration all the time and for a few potentially never.

Here is another way to look at it;
Are you indulging in foreplay, kink, or fetishes to cause a state of arousal to lead to penetration?
Or
Are you indulging in foreplay, kink, or fetishes that usually leads to a state of arousal with the intention that it will lead to penetration, but it may not happen?
Or
Are you indulging in foreplay, kink, or fetishes regardless if a state of arousal happens with no intention of it leading to penetration?
So, now you can ask yourself which one best describes you. And keep in mind that these three categories are very basic, so feel free to adjust as needed to best describe yourself.

 

[wishfoot88]

Well the word fetish means having sexual feelings or being sexually aroused by a body part or act that is not usually associated with sex (ex. feet and tickling). So I think the word still applies to you even if it turns out you are asexual.

Just curious. Are you very attached to the area you live in? From the things you've said in your threads it sounds like you live in a place where most of the people have a very traditional mindset. Sounds like you have good friends that want to support you but don't really get you. Would you ever consider moving somewhere where people are a little more understanding? A little more accepting of differences?

i would say that my area is pretty traditional. most people are pretty vanilla about most things, not limited to sexual orientation. i don't really have an intention of spending the rest of my life here, and yes, i would seek a more understanding area. i've always thought about meetings and munches, just never really had the money or opportunity to go through with it. at the moment i'm pretty content with my friends and whatnot. relationships ain't possible because i'm not a straight guy who's out clubbing and drinking every friday night looking to get laid, and sadly thats exactly how things work around here.

Actually it can be easy to define it down to a simple word(s), if you think of the word sex like a recipe and the ingredients are what define the sex. And many people are going to have similar ingredients, but not all the ingredients are always going to be the same. Like how fucking, quickies, and making love are used to describe different types of sex. But, they all involve some form of penetration in a minimum of one participant. The act of penetration can include, but are not limited to, penises, fingers and dildos. While the orifice being penetrated is also not limited to vaginal there are of course the anus and mouth. While things like foreplay, kinky elements, or indulging in a fetish before or during the penetration is not required for sex, but for some it is the difference between good and bad sex.
Now for some indulging in foreplay, kink, or fetishes with no penetration will not make sense to them since that would be the pre-requisite that needs to lead to penetration for them. And there are others who can indulge in foreplay, kink, or fetishes without it leading to penetration all the time and for a few potentially never.

Here is another way to look at it;
Are you indulging in foreplay, kink, or fetishes to cause a state of arousal to lead to penetration?
Or
Are you indulging in foreplay, kink, or fetishes that usually leads to a state of arousal with the intention that it will lead to penetration, but it may not happen?
Or
Are you indulging in foreplay, kink, or fetishes regardless if a state of arousal happens with no intention of it leading to penetration?
So, now you can ask yourself which one best describes you. And keep in mind that these three categories are very basic, so feel free to adjust as needed to best describe yourself.

i get what you mean here, quite a good way to classify things. i suppose the final option would sum me up, since no form of penetration is desired.

 

[duderino84]

Well the word fetish means having sexual feelings or being sexually aroused by a body part or act that is not usually associated with sex (ex. feet and tickling). So I think the word still applies to you even if it turns out you are asexual.

Just curious. Are you very attached to the area you live in? From the things you've said in your threads it sounds like you live in a place where most of the people have a very traditional mindset. Sounds like you have good friends that want to support you but don't really get you. Would you ever consider moving somewhere where people are a little more understanding? A little more accepting of differences?

hi guys, first time posting in quite a while.
i've kinda got another weird topic. i class myself as Asexual, and yet i have a "fetish" for feet, tickling, bondage etc...
i find it hard getting my head around this, let alone explaining it to other. i have zero interest in any form of sex, be it hetero, homo, bi, whatever. and when i think about feet and tickling, i get the usual sexual response, but my fantasies don't involve any form of sexual contact. it's just tickling. no foreplay or anything else, just plain old tickling of the feet and upper body.
alot of people tell me that "it's just a phase" and the only reason i don't want sex is because i've never had it, but i know that i'm interested in other things, and even then it's sensual more than anything else.
anyone else get like this?
i'm literally the only person i know who has no interest in sex, which is not exactly easy, especially when practically everyone i know is also a tickle-footphobe.

I don't think I'm "asexual", I just have very little interest in actual sex! Tickling and my secret hair/hairjob fetish are my sexuality. It's been that way since I was 10.

I would also consider moving.... Conquer the land around you!

 

[toyou444]

I have met plenty of people who loved tickling and being tickled that were totally sexual...but the tickling had nothing to do with their sex life.

So it works the other way too.

I always said my one friend just had a "healthy interest" in tickling. She clearly loved all aspects of it and thought it was fun, but her sex life (which I, unfortunately had been informed of) had zero tickling in it at all.

In book as long as you are enjoying yourself without hurting someone else its all good.

~ toyou

 

[FeatherEndeavor]

I don't think I'm "asexual", I just have very little interest in actual sex! Tickling and my secret hair/hairjob fetish are my sexuality. It's been that way since I was 10.

I would also consider moving.... Conquer the land around you!

What does a hairjob fetish involve? I've never heard of that.

 

[duderino84]

Ok....part of the reason I'm socially anxious is whenever I see a girl with "big hair"......I end up staring and imagining a girl taking her hair and using it to tease/tickle my balls and shaft. And then I basically go "not today" and walk away without approaching. I think honestly online dating has made the whole scene squeamish of real life encounters anyhow.

It has phases too. I used to just like really long straight hair....than I got into thicker, and started getting into girls with curls, or girls that can rock Afro/natural hair....sometimes I like girls that go dye crazy with it as well.

Idk. It's a curse lol.