ticklebug101
1st Level Red Feather
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Here's Amber's Christmas present. Now where was I? Oh yeah.............
"Gemma, what do you want for christmas? I'm making my list, is there anything you need?" Tyler brought me out of my own head with his question. He was good
at that. "I've no idea to be honest. I haven't been paying much attention over the last month or so. I think the kettle needs to go on again, you want a drink?"
He stood up. "No I'll do it," I said, knowing he was moving toward the kitchen, "I need to keep busy." He nodded and went back to his christmas list. "Think
about what you want won't you?" He called as I went to make the tea. "Will do," I called over my shoulder, "what time is it? My appointment is at three." Oh yes
that's something else I forgot to mention. Since I had been signed off work by the doctor, I had been going to see a counselor. He was a nice enough guy, I
would guess in his mid thirties or so, and of course my cousin thought she was helpng when she tried to ask if he was married. Rebecca had many talents, but
being subtle was not one of them. "You still have an hour," called Tyler, "do you want to find something to watch or maybe to read?" he asked. "Yeah I'll find
something in a minute," I replied, "you must be so bored, how do you keep from going nuts?" Tyler had been off work as long as I had, but his doctor didn't
think he needed to see a anyone to talk to about what had happened. "Oh I do alright," he said as I brought the tea in, "thanks. I borrow your laptop, read,
find things on TV. To be honest it's been nice to have some time off. I just wish it could have been under happier circumstances." I sat down with my tea and
replied, "yeah of course, I'm sure everybody does." When I had finished my tea, I told Tyler I was going to have a shower and change. "Suppose I had better be
half way presentable for my session," I told him on the way up to the bathroom. Looking in the mirror was always a mistake since it happened. It was painfuly
obvios that I wasn't sleeping. There were horrible black bags under my eyes, I wasn't leaving the house apart from to go to my sessions, and if Tyler
didn't make sure I ate every day, I would have been under weight too, because eating had been the last thing on my mind. I sighed to myself and after locking
the bathroom door, turned the water on and stripped. When I was done in the shower, I went back to the bedroom wrapped in a towel and dug some clothes out of
the wardrobe before laying them on the bed and getting dried off. When I had changed I went over to the window and looked out, not really seeing anything. I
don't know how long I stood there but my mind came back to Earth when I heard Tyler. "Gemma, time to catch the bus." I turned to face him. "Thanks Tyler, I just
need to pull my socks on." He smiled and left the room. I nearly missed my stop because my mind was still somewhere else when the bus pulled up. I got off just
in time and walked down the street to the office. The receptionist looked up and smiled at me, then buzzed through to the doctor's office. "Mr. Miller
your three o clock is here." I sat down as his voice came back through the intercom. "Ok thankyou Jamie, we're almost done." Jamie the receptionist smiled at me
again, then the phone rang. I turned my attention to the posters on the wall, leaving her to it. A few minutes later, Mr Miller buzzed the desk again.
"Jamie, my three o clock if you please." I looked to Jamie and she nodded, so I got up and lightly tapped on the door. "Come in," he said, so I did.
Mr. Miller was about five feet ten, with dark hair and blue eyes. He had a very caring nature, as you would expect from a counselor . As I walked in, he looked
up and smiled. "Hello Gemma. How are you doing?" I sat on the couch that ran along side his desk. "Not too bad," I lied, "I mean, I'm still having the
nightmares, but I'm starting to expect them now." As I talked to him, he nodded to let me know he was listening, but at the same time he had to look for his
notepad. "Ok, that's totaly natral, as we've discussed before. You've been through a very traumatic experience, I would be more worried if you wern't dreaming
about it. So tell me, if you can cope, what happened the last time Tom came p in one of your nightmares? Is he there for just seconds at a time or would you say it's
more like entire scenes?" I thought back to last night. That wasn't difficult, the details were still vivid in my mind. "Well, he came to me again last night.
"He and I were just talking, like we used to at work, and in the middle of the conversation he stops and freezes on the spot. Then his face turns blue. The
plastic bag that he was suffocated with comes out of his nose and mouth and I'm just forced to watch him as it's pushed down his throat and cuts off his air
supply." Tears spring to my eyes as I try to keep talking, "I couldn't move. I was so terrified, I tried to move my legs but I had to watch him, I had to-"
He finishes his sentence on his notepad and then he's beside me, kneeling against the sofa with a box of tissues. "I'm sorry," he says gently, "I know this must
be hard to talk about, but I have to know the details so I can help you get over this. I'm not saying it's going to be fixed in five or six weeks but I need you
to be brave and go through it for me. But if it gets too much, let me know and I'll change the subject until you're ready to talk about it again. Alright?" He
looked at my face as I dried my eyes. "Sorry," I chocked out, "it's just so hard to relive it all. I don't mean to act like a child but it's constantly on my
mind, it's like he dosen't want me to forget what happened to him or what it would have looked like if I was there." He pt his hand on mine. "No you're not
acting like a child at all," he assured me, "all of these reactions are perfectly natural Gemma." I nodded wrdlessly, allowing myself some deep breaths to calm
down and stop crying. "Ok now?" he asked, and I nodedd again. He stroked his thumb over the back of my hand a few times before he stood up and went back to his
desk. "Thankyou," I said, "I hate to get so emotional around other people but this is really twisting my mind up." He nodded. "Of course it is," he said, "you
ready to move on?" I blew my nose and nodded.
"Gemma, what do you want for christmas? I'm making my list, is there anything you need?" Tyler brought me out of my own head with his question. He was good
at that. "I've no idea to be honest. I haven't been paying much attention over the last month or so. I think the kettle needs to go on again, you want a drink?"
He stood up. "No I'll do it," I said, knowing he was moving toward the kitchen, "I need to keep busy." He nodded and went back to his christmas list. "Think
about what you want won't you?" He called as I went to make the tea. "Will do," I called over my shoulder, "what time is it? My appointment is at three." Oh yes
that's something else I forgot to mention. Since I had been signed off work by the doctor, I had been going to see a counselor. He was a nice enough guy, I
would guess in his mid thirties or so, and of course my cousin thought she was helpng when she tried to ask if he was married. Rebecca had many talents, but
being subtle was not one of them. "You still have an hour," called Tyler, "do you want to find something to watch or maybe to read?" he asked. "Yeah I'll find
something in a minute," I replied, "you must be so bored, how do you keep from going nuts?" Tyler had been off work as long as I had, but his doctor didn't
think he needed to see a anyone to talk to about what had happened. "Oh I do alright," he said as I brought the tea in, "thanks. I borrow your laptop, read,
find things on TV. To be honest it's been nice to have some time off. I just wish it could have been under happier circumstances." I sat down with my tea and
replied, "yeah of course, I'm sure everybody does." When I had finished my tea, I told Tyler I was going to have a shower and change. "Suppose I had better be
half way presentable for my session," I told him on the way up to the bathroom. Looking in the mirror was always a mistake since it happened. It was painfuly
obvios that I wasn't sleeping. There were horrible black bags under my eyes, I wasn't leaving the house apart from to go to my sessions, and if Tyler
didn't make sure I ate every day, I would have been under weight too, because eating had been the last thing on my mind. I sighed to myself and after locking
the bathroom door, turned the water on and stripped. When I was done in the shower, I went back to the bedroom wrapped in a towel and dug some clothes out of
the wardrobe before laying them on the bed and getting dried off. When I had changed I went over to the window and looked out, not really seeing anything. I
don't know how long I stood there but my mind came back to Earth when I heard Tyler. "Gemma, time to catch the bus." I turned to face him. "Thanks Tyler, I just
need to pull my socks on." He smiled and left the room. I nearly missed my stop because my mind was still somewhere else when the bus pulled up. I got off just
in time and walked down the street to the office. The receptionist looked up and smiled at me, then buzzed through to the doctor's office. "Mr. Miller
your three o clock is here." I sat down as his voice came back through the intercom. "Ok thankyou Jamie, we're almost done." Jamie the receptionist smiled at me
again, then the phone rang. I turned my attention to the posters on the wall, leaving her to it. A few minutes later, Mr Miller buzzed the desk again.
"Jamie, my three o clock if you please." I looked to Jamie and she nodded, so I got up and lightly tapped on the door. "Come in," he said, so I did.
Mr. Miller was about five feet ten, with dark hair and blue eyes. He had a very caring nature, as you would expect from a counselor . As I walked in, he looked
up and smiled. "Hello Gemma. How are you doing?" I sat on the couch that ran along side his desk. "Not too bad," I lied, "I mean, I'm still having the
nightmares, but I'm starting to expect them now." As I talked to him, he nodded to let me know he was listening, but at the same time he had to look for his
notepad. "Ok, that's totaly natral, as we've discussed before. You've been through a very traumatic experience, I would be more worried if you wern't dreaming
about it. So tell me, if you can cope, what happened the last time Tom came p in one of your nightmares? Is he there for just seconds at a time or would you say it's
more like entire scenes?" I thought back to last night. That wasn't difficult, the details were still vivid in my mind. "Well, he came to me again last night.
"He and I were just talking, like we used to at work, and in the middle of the conversation he stops and freezes on the spot. Then his face turns blue. The
plastic bag that he was suffocated with comes out of his nose and mouth and I'm just forced to watch him as it's pushed down his throat and cuts off his air
supply." Tears spring to my eyes as I try to keep talking, "I couldn't move. I was so terrified, I tried to move my legs but I had to watch him, I had to-"
He finishes his sentence on his notepad and then he's beside me, kneeling against the sofa with a box of tissues. "I'm sorry," he says gently, "I know this must
be hard to talk about, but I have to know the details so I can help you get over this. I'm not saying it's going to be fixed in five or six weeks but I need you
to be brave and go through it for me. But if it gets too much, let me know and I'll change the subject until you're ready to talk about it again. Alright?" He
looked at my face as I dried my eyes. "Sorry," I chocked out, "it's just so hard to relive it all. I don't mean to act like a child but it's constantly on my
mind, it's like he dosen't want me to forget what happened to him or what it would have looked like if I was there." He pt his hand on mine. "No you're not
acting like a child at all," he assured me, "all of these reactions are perfectly natural Gemma." I nodded wrdlessly, allowing myself some deep breaths to calm
down and stop crying. "Ok now?" he asked, and I nodedd again. He stroked his thumb over the back of my hand a few times before he stood up and went back to his
desk. "Thankyou," I said, "I hate to get so emotional around other people but this is really twisting my mind up." He nodded. "Of course it is," he said, "you
ready to move on?" I blew my nose and nodded.
