Friend didn't react the way I'd hoped...

[TKLVR181]

Well, I did it. I came out with one of my best friends. I've known this girl since 6th grade, tickle her all the time, so I thought she'd be the best person to try this with.

So I emailed her a week and a half ago...she just called me today. She said, "I got the email, was kinda random." Apparently she didn't get it.

So I went into high detail. I even used the word "fetish" (took me thirty seconds to get that word past my throat lol).

She just started talking about other stuff. She said, "You can always tell me anything" when I told her it was hard for me to talk about this, but then after I was done, she just sorta...felt like she blew me off. My question is, does it sound like she blew me off or just hasn't assimilated the info yet?

~Karen

 

[TickledToDeath]

Well, I did it. I came out with one of my best friends. I've known this girl since 6th grade, tickle her all the time, so I thought she'd be the best person to try this with.

So I emailed her a week and a half ago...she just called me today. She said, "I got the email, was kinda random." Apparently she didn't get it.

So I went into high detail. I even used the word "fetish" (took me thirty seconds to get that word past my throat lol).

She just started talking about other stuff. She said, "You can always tell me anything" when I told her it was hard for me to talk about this, but then after I was done, she just sorta...felt like she blew me off. My question is, does it sound like she blew me off or just hasn't assimilated the info yet?

~Karen

I don't think she as assimilated it yet. Seems as if it bounced right off of her as if the conversation was in "passing" OR maybe she was purposely avoiding the question/conversation for some reason. If she is a friend of yours to the degree you mentioned, I dobt she would blatantly "blow you off".

 

[Senshi1]

In my experience, that's how they all act. I've come out to quite a few of my friends, and every single one (with the exception of one, who has an account here) reacted like that. It's kind of "Oh, okay. Fair enough. Anyway, I hear this rain isn't going to stop until Tuesday."

They just take it in their stride, which always puzzled me as it was always such a big secret to me. 😛

Anyway, congratulations - you're have hereby revoked your status as a lurker. 😀 For this, I award you a big, fat, purple

w00t!!1

 

[Excess]

Y'know why it could be. Because it's not as big of a deal to them as it is to you. Don't just assume the worse.

 

[TKLVR181]

Thanks guys🙂

Especially Senshi. I love wOOts*XD* *hangs big purple wOOt next to my other two in my thread*

 

[scorpionldr]

Well, I did it. I came out with one of my best friends. I've known this girl since 6th grade, tickle her all the time, so I thought she'd be the best person to try this with.

So I emailed her a week and a half ago...she just called me today. She said, "I got the email, was kinda random." Apparently she didn't get it.

So I went into high detail. I even used the word "fetish" (took me thirty seconds to get that word past my throat lol).

She just started talking about other stuff. She said, "You can always tell me anything" when I told her it was hard for me to talk about this, but then after I was done, she just sorta...felt like she blew me off. My question is, does it sound like she blew me off or just hasn't assimilated the info yet?

~Karen

yea, i think it just bounced. I remembered I talked to a friend online that I went to community college with for a while, and i remembered one time I sorta tried to bring it in with these one of those "you know what turns me on?" questions, and at first she thought I was just being funny. It wasn't until i made it explicit for her and showed her a few sites that she started to see that I couldn't possibly be joking about it.

 

[FeatherFeet]

it could also be that she already had guessed this and your not telling her anything new.

Ive come out to a bunch of people, they all know about it but they dont rteally make it a big deal. Its sort of like when one of my best friends first told me he was gay i was like "oh, aighty, thats cool" and he was like "does it bother you?" im like "why the crap should it, your still the same person?" and other sorts of thigns, but i didnt go into a high detailed convo about it. same thing applies on the opposite end i think.

 

[tickle_fan031]

Y'know why it could be. Because it's not as big of a deal to them as it is to you. Don't just assume the worse.

I agree.....that's the way it was with me.I remember chattin to Ex about it--was gettin my self in a right mess with worry and when I eventually came straight out with it she was just like "ok fair doos".I really wouldn't worry about it Karen.I'd say we're all just way too paranoid about it and your mate is probably wondering what all the fuss is about.

EDIT: Oh and well done chick for taking the huge step and actually come out to someone-such a great achievement! 😀

 

[LITickleree1]

dont worry about it, maybe she hasnt really taken it in yet, or doesnt care or lol already knew.

 

[Celtic_Emperor]

Its possible that she's done both, neither, or one of the two. Its difficult to tell without us hearing her tone of voice and how she said it.

My advice to you is that no matter what happens and what conclusions and feelings she comes to with your confession, that you respect that decision, those feelings, and that you don't get defensive about it. While it may hurt you that she may not accept this part of you (as many people would not) one must realize that this kind of rationale is normal. Its based on an unwittingly ignorant understanding of fetishes and how a fetishist requires this in their life or comes about developing it.

On the plus side though, you got if off your chest finally. I hope you feel relieved about that because you should. The only thing that remains is finding out whether she now minds that all those times you tickled her were not just because you were having fun, but because some part of you was satisfying a desire.

If she can accept that theres more to this than there is with the average person without the fetish, then I don't see why your friendship should suffer.

If it were me though, and I was a woman, I'd probably not be as physically interactive with her as much anymore. A part of me would feel uncomfortable touching her knowing that she knows it may be a wee bit more than just a touch whether she minds or not.

The obvious problem for anyone in this situation is "God, does my friend think I'm a perverted, sicko?! 🙁", but I would hope that given your relationship with her that its not over because of this. While its not fair for us to say "if she's really my friend she'd ignore what I told her and pretend its not there", or something like that, one could hope still that the friendship is not over because of it.

I think she deserves an explaination and you need a chance to explain. Thats where this needs to go from here. Give her time.

 

[mart]

Well, imagine that someone told you about a fetish they had which you really can't relate to - nothing seriously macabre but something like burping or gloves and told you in detail that they really got off on that.
You might neither judge them or even consider it particularly weird, but a totally sympathetic conversation would also not be an option, unless they were asking for help or something.
I can think of a number of such fetishes that would leave me fairly speechless, even if they did not make me think less of the person concerned.

 

[Snail Shell]

You also gotta remember Karen, this is the friend of yours who you tickled a lot as a kid, but also used to stick her feet in her face. I don't think it's that she doesn't care or anything like that. I think it's that you're friends and that she cares about you no matter what you do.

After all, you still care about me even after TLW, right? 😉

However, if it's the reaction you're looking for, ahem.... *gets all serious*

Wow Karen. That took a lot of guts coming out to your friend about something that's so personal and meaningful to you. I really appreciate how much you trust your friend, that really means a lot to her. You know that no matter what happens, you'll always be you and your friend will always care about you no matter what. We love you Karen and you can always count on us.

Snail Shell

PS - Those who have read the last paragraph have witnessed my good deed for the season, so I'm not due for another until at least the 22nd of December. 😉

 

[tickle_fan031]

You also gotta remember Karen, this is the friend of yours who you tickled a lot as a kid, but also used to stick her feet in her face. I don't think it's that she doesn't care or anything like that. I think it's that you're friends and that she cares about you no matter what you do.

After all, you still care about me even after TLW, right? 😉

However, if it's the reaction you're looking for, ahem.... *gets all serious*

Wow Karen. That took a lot of guts coming out to your friend about something that's so personal and meaningful to you. I really appreciate how much you trust your friend, that really means a lot to her. You know that no matter what happens, you'll always be you and your friend will always care about you no matter what. We love you Karen and you can always count on us.

Snail Shell

PS - Those who have read the last paragraph have witnessed my good deed for the season, so I'm not due for another until at least the 22nd of December. 😉

Well said SS and I want to repeat that last line......"We love you Karen and you can always count on us."You know where we are if you need us! 😀 😀

 

[TKLVR181]

Aww *huggles both SS and Helen* Thanks guys *teary*

And yes SS, I still care about you even after TLW, even if it does mean I have to hear about it ever post you make :tounge: *Says this in hopes that everyone will see I'm feeling much better*😉

 

[TheChameleon]

Karen 1 - Badguys 0

 

[P[a]pi]

Maybe she already knew you liked tickling since you tickle her a lot.

Also, I don't know if everybody knows what a fetish is. Maybe you could clarify and say, "tickling can be sexual to me and turn me on." I'm assuming thats what you meant by using the word fetish. If not, then I guess I don't know what it means. haha

Or maybe she was wondering why you were telling her. Maybe she was thinking, "alright, do you want me to do something and if so, what?"

Thats cool that you told her though. She is your friend, so you'll see her again and will be able to clarify anything and she might get curious and ask you about it sometime.

 

[Sockstickler]

I'd like to think that it's just because she might have already known about it too, or figured it out already. Besides, as Josh pointed out, this is the friend who has stuck her feet in your face, which is pretty much asking for tickling there. I don't really think there's a lot to worry about.
As I'd told you before, best case scenario, she's cool with it, and it's all good. Worst case scenario, you've still got a bunch of friends like me, Helen, and Josh, who are all cool with it, and you, and it's all good. Either way, it's a win-win situation.
That being said, what you did, coming forward and telling her about your love of tickling, took a lot of guts. I've got to give you a lot of props for that🙂