Girls Are Mean

[Biggles of 266]

No offence to anyone on the board who is lacking in any kind of male genitals, but damn! You guys can hurt sometimes! My (ex) girlfriend just shot me down so hard and made me feel so stupid for opening up and admitting that I loved her. I'm gonna go live on an island somewhere by myself. Seeya...

 

[Dave2112]

Been there, my friend! I feel for you, I really do. Yes, members of the fairer sex can be pretty emasculating at times, but please don't let this incident sour you to the wonderful things women can bring into your life. Yes girls can be mean, but so can we. Your problem is with this girl, not all of them.

Right now, at this very moment, there is a pretty young woman thinking the same thing about men. She's cute, she's sweet and she has a lot in common with you. She's going to laugh at your jokes, cry at your pain and understand the things you think no one else does. She's hoping against hope that she finds you someday, so that her life will be complete and she can be happy.

The problem is, she has no idea where your island is. So get off the rock and start looking for her, my friend! Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon. And do me a favor?

...let me know how you two make out, ok?😎

 

[Biggles of 266]

thanks man. I couldn't have wished for a better reply. Not only are you a great author, but a nice guy as well. Now, if only I hadn't broken up my raft...

 

[Dave2112]

Hey, anytime. I know it's hard to listen to people's advice at times when you are in that kind of pain. For all of the talk about mens' "toughness", we can be scarred pretty badly, and sometimes quite easily. Romantic pain can be the worst, I know. Nothing makes any sense, no one is right, and no one could possibly understand how bad it really is.

But it gets better. Every single time it gets better. Trust me. One day, you will look back at this, curled up on the couch with the love of your life, in front of a fire made from the pieces of your broken rafts...and thank God it happened.

Good luck, my friend and stay strong!😎

 

[Biggles of 266]

thanks mate. Whoever said Jedi are useless with romantic advice is obviously an idiot! Next time you're in Oz Dave, let me buy you a beer.

 

[TicklingIsLife]

I'll take a quote from Major League II:
"Women, cant live without 'em and they cant pee standing up."
😛 😛 😛

 

[guitman69]

I like the one from "Thrid Rock for the Sun" even better.

"Women, you can't live with them, and you can't have heterosexual sex without them."

 

[NYCity]

Let's not forget Norm from Cheers:

"Women. Can't live with 'em. Pass the beer nuts."

Hang in there, Biggles. We've all been there. Dave's absolutely right. Dave, very, very well said!

 

[Strelnikov]

Here's another constant. No matter how good she looks, there's a guy somewhere who's tired of putting up with her shit.

Strelnikov

 

[TickledToDeath]

I too have suffered the same as you my friend Biggles, IN fact I have been to that island too. Fact is that things do happen for a reason.
Her rejection of you was a furlough for your heart and soul to find the one who was MEANT for you and visa versa.
You will find, in looking back that it is usually better to be alone than with the WRONG one.
You WILL find each other and therein true happiness.

TTD

 

[QBWeaver]

I'm sorry you're hurting Biggles. As a non-testosterone member of this forum I know that pain from the other side of the fence. I bet just about everyone on this forum has been down that road and hurt severely either by a man or a woman.

It doesn't feel like it could ever get better but it Truly will. It just takes time. This is just an opportunity for a nicer lady to come into your life. Just don't jump into a relationship too soon. Take time to allow the grieving and to figure out what you want in the next relationship. She's out there. I know she is.

 

[evilqueen]

I just want to add...

for the record, girls are mean.

evilqueen😉

 

[Biggles of 266]

thanks everyone

Thanks to all the great friends on the tmf who took the time out to make a little fella like me feel a bit better. It's really great to know that people will go out of their way to lend a few helpful words and it really makes me feel better. You're all welcome on my island for some beer and loud music anytime.

Biggles

 

[Mischief]

Hello, biggles

"Sometimes you must be cruel to be kind." -- English proverb

I've always hated that damn proverb, but it has come to hold a great deal of significance in my life recently. I think it contains a plain truth-- both in the real world and the fetish world, too.

Of course, the real world is the more important one.
At least, I think it is. That's what my shrink keeps telling me, anyway. (g)

 

[Biggles of 266]

man, this sucks. It's saturday night, all my friends are busy and I know she's out at a party getting drunk and playing around with other guys.

How do I know this I hear you all asking...

That's why we broke up. Right at the high point of our time together she got pissed and screwed some guy at a party who she had never *even seen before*! She didn't even know his name!

It was the second time she'd done something like that to me. She said it was because she didn't feel loved. I totally worshipped her and everything about her. I don't wanna sound like a wanker, but compared to how I've seen some guys treat their girlfriends, she had it pretty damn good. I couldn't even think about another woman when I was with her. I dunno why I wasn't good enough or what I did to drive her to some faceless asshole and it's killing me.

(some) girls are mean

just let me know when you all get sick of my complaining and I'll shaddup and go find some other bunch of poor bastards to listen to me bitch. Loveya all,

Biggles

 

[Dave2112]

Yeah, it hurts, but you need to stop thinking about it. Yeah, I know....easy to say.

One of these days, she's going to be thinking the same thing about you. And if she doesn't, who cares.

I had a girl dump me after we'd lived together for three years. She also admitted that she was sleeping with the guy she left me for over the previous three months. I hit the bottle, quit my job, did nothing but play in the band on weekends, sleep in our studio and nail every "groupie" who came along. After a few weeks of that shit, I went to live with my grandfather for a while to get my ass straightened out.

Flash forward a few years.

She called me a few weeks ago. The guy she left me for divorced her, left her with two kids...she's gotten heavy and drinks a lot. All of her friends, the ones I wasn't good enough for, have moved away. She says she misses me and wishes she never left me. All of the things she thought she wanted turned out to be not-so-important, and she wishes she'd followed my advice.

Too bad for her, though. I'm happy, and if we'd stayed together, none of the things that have happened to me since would have happened.

Things have a way of working out. There is Balance in the Force, my friend...it just has a funny way of showing it at times.😀

 

[Biggles of 266]

dammit Dave, you're so freakin good at this! How come I never see you on Oprah talking about working through pain? Seriously mate, you have a great talent for knowing what to say. Use it for good instead of evil. Oh, why not, it's saturday night, use it for evil just this once! I owe you many beers Dave, let me know when you're on the Gold Coast

Biggles

 

[Mischief]

Biggles,

Wish I knew what to say, but there are no simple proverbs or words. It may not help, but my current situation isn't too different from yours-- so at least you aren't alone. I was shopping for a place where my GF and I could live together when I got dropped in a 20 second phone call. I won't go into all the sordid details of the stupid things we both have done afterwards as a result of grief and loss, but . . . I would like to recommend a book I have found helpful.

"Loveshock: How to recover from a broken heart and Love Again"
by Steven Gullo, Ph. D and Connie Church
ISBN 0-553-28592-X

Although it is currently out of print, I have been able to locate a copy through Amazon.com's used book resellers.

 

[Oddjob0226]

First of all, Australia IS an island - well done, you are true to your word!

Secondly - I'm going through something similar right now. I won't go into TOO many details, but suffice to say - I have been honset with this woman since the beginning..... I've spent most of my young life working or going to school and was never much to look at, so only within the last few years hve I really been going out socially and I want to date, meet new people and try new things. Sex was never a requirement, and, to be honest, I can do without it for the most part. I just wanted to meet her & get to know her, THEN see where it leads...( and she was even into tickling- having never really tried it she was willing to give and recieve out of curiosity and her wicked imagination!) She was honest too; she'd like to get married and have another kid (she has a son). So... we've been talking, never actually meeting....

Well, this weekend the bomb drops - she WANTS a daughter and she wants it with me! I told her her how I felt, told her I was always honest with her... even said, look, if we don't hit it off romantically ( which we won't.... the 'ultimatum' form of seduction doesn't do it for me...) we can still go out socially and I'll help he meet new people, including some of my single friends who are looking for something more permanant (she doesn't go out socially at all.) This got her mad...and.... aw.... I'll be joining you on that island.... You still have that Cane Toad problem?

 

[Biggles of 266]

sorry oddjob, that's a terrible situation.

on the bright side, you're welcome to come visit me down here. We do still have cane toads, but we also have beer and golf clubs (the only way to get rid of cane toads is to have a few beers and take a swing with a 5 iron)

on a side note, I thought my ex was into being tickled (first girl I ever met who was, it was great) but she said she was lying for my benefit. Ah well.

Biggles

 

[Oddjob0226]

The thing with my potential girlfriend... honsety still didn't make the situation better, and all she really wants is a sperm donar, but, for the oddest reason, she wants it from me like she can guilt me or change me from who I am and just say - "YES I want to be like you - just ahve a kid and stay home ALL the time with no freinds - I've seen the error of my ways! Your powers of seduction are too much for me!!!!!" If I don't do that, she gets mad. If i try to help her meet new people, she gets mad. She wants me, but not with my personality, likes, dislikes and experiences; just wants some kind of odd cardboard cutouit and I feel like a jerk if I don't give it to her.....

I can't believ your girl said she like tickling then lied! If at all possible I'd make her lay down in that bed she made..... aside from that, I knew about your beer, but had no idea about the golf! That and the toads sound like a new extreme sport! BTW, what's become of Jacko, the footballer/Energizer battery spokesman? Bet he's REALLY upset about the pink bunny usurping his position - OI!

 

[Biggles of 266]

Jacko makes his cash now by doing commercials for weight-loss programs. He used to be a fat, loud, annoying bastard, but now he's just a loud annoying bastard.

Girls are mean! OI!

 

[Biggles of 266]

this just fecking makes it all perfect...


last night she tells me she has a boyfriend, when the reason we couldn't be together was that she was thinking about school this year. Then when I talk to her this morning she tells me that every time she said 'I love you' she meant it as a friend. EVERY TIME. Bullshit.


When she kissed me for the first time then looked into my eyes and said 'I love you' in a tender voice. When she heard me cry on the phone coz I miss my dad, and she cried too because she felt my pain, then said 'I love you. When we sat on the beach at midnight kissing with our arms around each other and she said 'I love you'. Fucking bullshit.

I'm already gonna be in shit from my family (when she told me those lies this morning I broke a door. It's not something I'm proud of and I feel like a dickhead) and now this makes it even worse. She's destroing my life. Just when I seem to have pulled her knife out of my heart, she finds a way to twist it right back in again. I can't take anymore. Everyone that replied to this thread, thanks a lot. Seeya round.

Biggles

 

[drkjedi458]

biggles...there are some girls that knives are their specialty and they love to twist them. personally i wouldnt worry about another boyfriend cause more then likely he'll get stabbed with the exact same knife IF he exists at all. i feel for you man. iv had alot of luck with girls and its all been bad and iv broken more then one inanimate object in my time. the trick that works for me is to bury myself completly in my interests and hobbies (in my case that would be knife collecting...hows that for irony) and just refuse to think about anything else and i just dont come back out again until i can think about it without crying and start the hunt all over again. the pain dont go away easily but it does go away no matter how much we think at the time that it wont. when i bury myself in my hobbies thats my idea of a pain reliever and it works for me. it sounds to me like you treated her like a queen and got the shit end of the stick. thats her loss. she threw away a good thing and she'll have to live with it. there are alot of other women who would be more then happy to be treated in such a way and give that treatment right back to you....you just gotta give yourself time and breathing space dude

 

[Dave2112]

Biggles, this particular lass sounds like more trouble than she's worth. To pull the "I Love You as a friend" thing after the fact is a sure sign of a very insecure person. If it's not insecurity, it's just evil, so as I like to assume the best in people, let's go with insecure.

She has a lot of things to work out, from the sound of it. It's probably something you don't want to get involved in. I was with a woman back in the mid '80's who started out just like what you described. As it evolved over the course of two years, it went from mind games to physical attacks and property damage. (Her, not me.)

Make sure the door is the last thing you break. I can understand your frustration and anger, but you are giving her exactly the kind of response she wants. The more you pine away for her, the higher her ego meter goes. (Yeah, women have those, too...just the smaller dashboard model)

Hang in there, my friend, you're getting through the worst of it.😎