How do I tell my gf?

[Ghst]

I’ve been struggling with “coming out” as a tickle fetishist to my gf/soon to be fiancé (or fiancee?). She is extremely ticklish and is okay with me teasing her here and there, but I would love to have a conversation about having an actual session, just don’t know where I would even start in introducing that idea to her or how to convince her. Any ideas or someone who has had similar issues with advice?

 

[natscott6282]

I’ve been struggling with “coming out” as a tickle fetishist to my gf/soon to be fiancé (or fiancee?). She is extremely ticklish and is okay with me teasing her here and there, but I would love to have a conversation about having an actual session, just don’t know where I would even start in introducing that idea to her or how to convince her. Any ideas or someone who has had similar issues with advice?

ye start by telling her ur sooo into tickling and ask her how she feels about tickling and ticklishness

 

[FFT32]

If you love each other enough to be considering engagement, then you should be able (in my humble opinion) to talk about anything. Tell her you love her, keep your cool and camly open up to her.

 

[ohthatiscool]

As an older experienced guy, best to be upfront and honest. The fetish is so strong, it will stay with you forever, it's not something you can hide. You'd be surprised how much of a big deal it is in your own mind compared to reality. If she loves you, knows you this won't turn her off you. Most people are aware of kinks. She may open up and have a few kinks of her own. Worst thing you can do is keep it to yourself. Be brave and tell her.

 

[C4urself85]

I would suggest after next time you're intimate and you're relaxed and laying together, you suggest that you want to talk about kinks. I think a casual setting is better than a "hey we need to talk" or "I have something to tell you."

Just take a deep breath and go.

 

[DebonairDavid]

While making out/having sex, tickle her so it's more intimate. Afterwards, tell her that you purposely did that to make it more intimate and you enjoyed the physical intimacy from it. She shouldn't respond negatively if you put that way, considering its a way to spice up the bedroom. Like @ohthatiscool said, she might have kinks of her own as well.

 

[P[a]pi]

Sorry if my response sounds harsh. What does "having an actual session" mean to you? If it means bondage and intense tickling where a safeword would usually be used, then I think this is something you should be up-front about pretty quickly with any gal. If she is a soon to be fiance, then I'm gona assume she has been your gf for a yr or 2. I would tell any gal within the 1st 1 or 2 months.

It is possible that she will not want to have a session. It is possible that you 2 could have a session and she doesn't like it. If you are here on tmf then you probably need tickling in your life from your partner.

So my advice is to tell her everything asap. Be 100% honest about what you would like her to give you. A lee is giving a lot in the average tickling session; trust, torture, their body, etc. You gota get this question nailed down asap. Definitely do it before marrying/proposing to her.

Of course, if you don't care about tickling that much, and a session would just be you poking her some then disregard what I said above lol.

If you are 100% honest with her and yall don't work out, you still did the right thing. I wish the best for you both 🙂

 

[DebonairDavid]

Sorry if my response sounds harsh. What does "having an actual session" mean to you? If it means bondage and intense tickling where a safeword would usually be used, then I think this is something you should be up-front about pretty quickly with any gal. If she is a soon to be fiance, then I'm gona assume she has been your gf for a yr or 2. I would tell any gal within the 1st 1 or 2 months.

It is possible that she will not want to have a session. It is possible that you 2 could have a session and she doesn't like it. If you are here on tmf then you probably need tickling in your life from your partner.

So my advice is to tell her everything asap. Be 100% honest about what you would like her to give you. A lee is giving a lot in the average tickling session, trust, torture, their body, etc. You gota get this question nailed down asap. Definitely do it before marrying/proposing to her.

Of course, if you don't care about tickling that much, and a session would just be you poking her some then disregard what I said above lol.

If you are 100% honest with her and yall don't work out, you still did the right thing. I wish the best for you both 🙂

I agree OP should come out of the closet about this, especially when this is his girlfriend/soon to be fiancee. While sessions don't require stocks or other bondage, they aren't simply "poking" the lee to see their ticklish reactions. If she doesn't like being tickled intensely because of how extremely ticklish she is, then he could always go back to lightly tickling her here and there, as he said originally. Hopefully she'll warm up more to tickling knowing he has the fetish and she loves him regardless.

 

[retry0]

I don't feel entitled to advice anyone about relationships, but I really hope what I have to say may be helpful.

I think in a case like you described, I believe would be wise to increase the tickling little by little and observe her reactions, and if she tickles back, and if she is actually trying to stop you

Personally, I've had sexual relations with two women who were ticklephiles, and a serious relationship with one of them. So it was my girlfriend who instigated the tickling at the beginning, and I gave clues and openess. We actually never actually made an verbal agreement. We had tickle fights, lots of verbal teasing, and soon we were tickling each tied up. If you date a ticklephile for a while, you will know it. Period.

Now, I had a long relationship with a woman who liked tickling in a flirty, but not sexual way. In this case, I kinda of went along the ride observing her reactions. If she tickled me, I'd tickle her back. It's curious, because she could bare to be held down and tickled for a while, and she had a considerable bdsm fetish, but she would never enjoy to be tickled while restrained. Curious, right? (I think women has more "shades of grey", because I have female friends who admtly enjoy tickling, but it seems in a more natural way) We didn't do "tickle porn stuff", and it was cool anyway.

So, the thing is, tickling may not be a "popular" fetish, but it's not pee or fart or whatever. People who don't have the fetish may enjoy it in certain levels, specially with loved ones. Light sensual tickling can be very pleasant. Don't consider only the scenario with stocks and safeword or whatever.

 

[robmic]

My best advice is to try to convince them that you want to give then the best orgasm possible and to do it it requires you to tie them down so you can edge them. Then let them know that being tickled contributes to their helplessness and helps build up the intensity of the orgasm!

 

[hefophre]

Why does so much of this advice have to be pertaining to sexual in nature. Why cant people just enjoy tickling for the sake of it?

Wants, needs, and desires should be brought up EARLY on in getting to know each other. The first day might be a bit much, but it depends how things are doing. I cant imagine investing weeks or months, building a connection, and then letting them know a non negotiable, which they may not care to take part in, and the relationship then having to end because of it, after you've already developed feelings. It should be established upfront.

 

[WickedTouch]

Sorry if my response sounds harsh. What does "having an actual session" mean to you? If it means bondage and intense tickling where a safeword would usually be used, then I think this is something you should be up-front about pretty quickly with any gal. If she is a soon to be fiance, then I'm gona assume she has been your gf for a yr or 2. I would tell any gal within the 1st 1 or 2 months.

It is possible that she will not want to have a session. It is possible that you 2 could have a session and she doesn't like it. If you are here on tmf then you probably need tickling in your life from your partner.

So my advice is to tell her everything asap. Be 100% honest about what you would like her to give you. A lee is giving a lot in the average tickling session; trust, torture, their body, etc. You gota get this question nailed down asap. Definitely do it before marrying/proposing to her.

Of course, if you don't care about tickling that much, and a session would just be you poking her some then disregard what I said above lol.

If you are 100% honest with her and yall don't work out, you still did the right thing. I wish the best for you both 🙂

I don't think this sounds harsh at all and it is a very good answer. Other than this, I don't know enough about the OP and GF to recommend more specific ways of talking about it. The best person to know how to talk to the GF about it is the OP, as they know her better than anyone here. To emphasize an important point, if you are going to marry someone, you should feel like you can share anything with them. If you for some reason do not feel that way, I strongly advise reflecting on why that is and resolving that before becoming engaged.

I wish you the best of luck!

 

[DebonairDavid]

I don't think this sounds harsh at all and it is a very good answer. Other than this, I don't know enough about the OP and GF to recommend more specific ways of talking about it. The best person to know how to talk to the GF about it is the OP, as they know her better than anyone here. To emphasize an important point, if you are going to marry someone, you should feel like you can share anything with them. If you for some reason do not feel that way, I strongly advise reflecting on why that is and resolving that before becoming engaged.

I wish you the best of luck!

You always have wise and well-worded thought processes 😀

 

[james01]

I’ve been struggling with “coming out” as a tickle fetishist to my gf/soon to be fiancé (or fiancee?). She is extremely ticklish and is okay with me teasing her here and there, but I would love to have a conversation about having an actual session, just don’t know where I would even start in introducing that idea to her or how to convince her. Any ideas or someone who has had similar issues with advice?

You could say something like, "I really love how you light up when we’re playful together — I actually find tickling super special and meaningful to me, and I’d love to share that side of myself with you more intentionally.

Make it a conversation, not a pressure thing — and be super open to her feelings, whether she's curious or a little unsure at first.
And no matter what, being vulnerable and trusting each other more will only make your bond stronger.

 

[Maneo]

You're going about it the right way. Relationship first, intimate stuff in good time. I am assuming you like this woman aside from tickling. If all you want is tickle sex, different set of circumstances. But let's assume there is mutual interest in a relationship.
Keep talking, getting to know one another. Eventually sex or intimacy or whatever you two are comfortable with will be art he top of the discussion list. Tell her when you feel it's the right moment.
I've been married twice to vanilla women. When we started getting intimate, I let them know about my passions. In both cases they accommodated my tickling desires. And no, my first marriage didn't end because of tickling.
Be bold. Take a chance

 

[luvgirlsfeet]

If she lets you tickle her here and there, take it as a win. I don’t think you need to tell her about your tickle fetish. She might think that you only want to be with her because of how ticklish she is

 

[U.N.Owen]

One thing I would strongly recommend is that when you do talk about it, make it part of a broader conversation about kinks and likings and ask her what she is into that you might not have talked about so far. She may well have unrealized fantasies too - and if you're sensitive to her desires, she's more likely to be open to experimenting with yours. (It's also just the right thing to do in an intimate relationship with someone you want to share your life with.)