How "strange" is a tickle fetish considered?

[moondog83uk1]

Hmmmm...

Hey all,

Some great responses! Interesting to see how these things digress,grow and progress. Also, it is nice to see that there are plenty of intelligent people here in our community - evident in the elloquence of the replies.

I just gotta say that really this thing isn't weird. Stuff all who think so. What's normal anyhow? We call a healthy body normal. So becuase I have Crohn's Disease does that make me weird, or abnormal? It's rhetorical - so don't answer that. You're NOT weird.

By personal experience, I've found that tickling is not a bad fetish to have really! I mean, by comparison (yes, I've asked), most my mates are really put off by BDSM and stuff like that. And golden showers and that stuff is most certainly out! But interestingly, most my male mates tickle my female mates playing about and all (or maybe more than playing 😉). Coincidence? I dunno... I think it's just a shame that some people out there make us feel that it's abnormal. EVERYONE has a perk or seven. All I'm saying is that, by personal experience, I've found the majority of people either like tickling, or don't mind it, and that it's moderately well accepted. I can only offer my personal experience - because it's all real and true. I only know ONE mate who hates it (she's 1 out of about 12). Haha, anyhow look at us all here. Nigh on 24,000 strong! We like it! Chin up, chief!

I really hope that everyone just has fun and is able to be comfortable. Best of luck everyone, and happy tickling! I've babbled enough!

Moondog 😀

 

[MistressValerie1]

Well... *I* would love to tickle a domme, since I am a rebel at heart, and I dislike hierarchy even if it is part of a sexual game... 😉 😉 😉

... but in an established Dom/Sub relationship it would probably be unacceptable.

....
Tickling has none of these rules or behaviour codes.

Those behaviour codes, "safe, sane, and CONSENSUAL," are why the mainstream BDSM community is taken more seriously, and is better-regarded, than the tickling community. We tend to shun those who are unruly and disrespectful of limits.

That's pretty much why I don't do tickle play with any men other than my husband, not even online. It gets tiresome to keep explaining that no really does mean no.

Peace,

 

[Kalamos]

If a person has been raised around it or has seen alot of it, then it is only natural that they will eventually take to doing it themselves it can go to be the same for anything in life, be it tickling or anything else you may have, for example : if a family raises their child to go to church every week, then it is obviously going to take effect later in that childs life and come to be completely normal to them - I believe if a person is used to it or doesn't see it as being an uncomfortable situation - then it is not a fetish.

If I recall well, this used to be called behaviourism.
While a person exposed to certain stimuli or conditioning could react in a set way, there is no surefire way to predict the outcome of a given education.

If family and environment contributed alone to mould personality - and in our case, fetishes - then society would be set in stone: poor people, exposed to violence or crime, would necessarily grow up to be violent criminals, while rich people, groomed and bred by the best teachers, would be paragons of virtue.
But such is not. 🙂

There are more variables in the system, and natural disposition plays a big role in shaping the individual.

Tickling is a special case, since it is [still] only a demi fetish. Lacking formalized rules - and requiring no setting or special equipment [except for fingers and a good excuse to start tickling... 😀 ] - it really floats between the two worlds.

You can tickle a non tickle-fetishist. But it is harder to convert the next-door person to - say - bondage, or sadomasochism or any other complex fetish.

Those behaviour codes, "safe, sane, and CONSENSUAL," are why the mainstream BDSM community is taken more seriously, and is better-regarded, than the tickling community.
We tend to shun those who are unruly and disrespectful of limits.

Let me point out that "safe, sane and consensual" are good rules for any relationship, even vanilla ones. 🙂
I wouldn't consider them hallmark of BDSM.

I'd also like to point out that BDSM *needs* to mantain a good rep: taken lightly, bondage can seriously damage the sub, so there is little room for improvisation.

Vanilla tickling [that is, without bondage or special tools] on the other hand can be applied more liberally, with less risks for the involved parties.

...

Oh, about shunning the unruly... I wouldn't expect any less. 😉 😉 😉

Just joking. 😉

That's pretty much why I don't do tickle play with any men other than my husband, not even online. It gets tiresome to keep explaining that no really does mean no.
Peace,

I think the light hearted nature of tickling tricks people into considering it less intimate or less serious than other forms of domination/submission.

I'd like to further elaborate this, and suggest a different perspective. 🙂

Whether tickling is a full fledged fetish or not, and whether the involved parties consider it akin to sexual intercourse or only a funny pastime, it is always a good idea to follow common sense [in a safe, sane, consensual way].

Respect is towards the individuals - and goes beyond rules, that can be bent or followed by the word, not by the spirit. 🙂

So, "no is no" not just because rules say so, but because it is not nice to press people, because I wouldn't like to be pressed or harrassed myself, and because I wouldn't like to alienate people from me. 🙂

And I would do so not just because I am a tickle fetishist, but because I am a sane, safe [and consensual? 😀 😀 😀] individual.


Long live and prosper. 😉

 

[tukano_2]

I would rephrase that: "weird" is not the best fitting word. "Uncommon" might be.
And I suspect the whole "fetish" concept should be reconsidered.

Why?
...
On the whole tickling might be considered a "demi-fetish" - but I realize it is just another big word that will only scare people away.
My humble opinion is we care too much, and tickle too little.

Just keep in mind: everybody needs a sexual catalyst, and ours is not something to be laughed at lightly. 😉 😉 😉
...

Chapeau! Also for your last post on the matter: it was very well written, coherent and smart as always and I completely agree.
Just one thing: what is "vanilla sex"?!?

About the question if one become or is born ticklephile, I was definitively born like that, tickling was something quite extraneous to the environment in which I was grown up, no traumas or other involving tk I can remember of, plus, it was always linked to sex from its first appearance (4/5 years old, maybe before). I can tell that most of us in this forum were born like that. Simply because our stories are so similar, even if with a wide range of different environmental elements: the post of Nessonite on this thread about her first feelings of a tickling interest in her childhood matches mine own experience very well, and I have read HUNDREDS of stories like that from ticklephiles. Our first feelings of hard to explain excitement about it as children, experiences of embarassment in front of tickling "openly" performed by/on others or in media, collecting scenes of tk in movies, searching for the word "tickling" in dictionaries of your own or foreign language, etc.
My guess is that there should be some kind of "pattern" (genetic?), triggered god only knows how, in new born, that makes them like tickling, with thousends of nuanses, of course, but tickling is the root.
I personally feel tickling as being a fundamental part of me (yes, I'm freak to that extent! :->), like a good friend of mine, unfortunately now dead, once said, and without tickling I would be a total different person (maybe better... but that depends only on me :->)

One word about tk, feet and domination: in general foot fetish world I often hear that men who like female ft are generally considered as "submissive", since they are not supposed to like the feet in themselves, but them as a symbol of the superior position of women. Even if there are a lot of male who are primarily ticklees and fit very well in this escription, I am sure that the interest in female feet of the VAST majority of the male members of this forum (even many of those who are mainly ticklees) has a total different connotation... Much more "dominating" than submissive (in a way), even if numberless of us, me included, love switching.

 

[maxamum_sumthin1]

I would rephrase that: "weird" is not the best fitting word. "Uncommon" might be.
And I suspect the whole "fetish" concept should be reconsidered.

Why?

A fetish is what psychology calls an uncommon sexual catalyst: something - be it an object, an outfit, a role, or a whole scene - that is arousing to the subject.

Anything that isn't classified as traditional genitalia or "vanilla" sex usually qualifies as a fetish.

Occurence and acceptability are the key here - and they vary a lot depending on the involved parties.

For example, sadomasochism/bondage is more widely accepted as a fetish than tickling.
It requires ropes and tools, it has a dress code, and involves uncommon practices and pain - so in theory, it should be less common. Even shunned because of the submission thing.

It is not: people proudly bear SMBD symbols and come out about it more freely. Tickle fetishists are shy, instead.

As it's been already said, tickling is usually seen as childish or mischievous, so its sexual appeal is not immediately apparent.

It doesn't require - nor has, yet - a complex conduct code that formalizes it into a full blown underground culture: tickling requires a ticklish person and a willing tickler. No latex involved. Just laughter. 😉

Also, tickling often overlaps with more widely known and established fetishes: foot fetish comes to mind.

Finally, light tickling can be incorporated into sexual intercourse without even giving away its nature: if the partner liked it, he/she might not even realize tickling is a fetish at all. It just felt good.
Try being discreet about a "golden shower" fetish. 🙂

Since tickling isn't as flashy and widely known as SMBD, many fail to see it as something originally alternative, and just consider it mundanely weird. 😉

On the whole tickling might be considered a "demi-fetish" - but I realize it is just another big word that will only scare people away.
My humble opinion is we care too much, and tickle too little.

Just keep in mind: everybody needs a sexual catalyst, and ours is not something to be laughed at lightly. 😉 😉 😉

Reg's.

Indeed. i agree 🙂

 

[Jaynin]

Bleh, curse my tardiness in replying. Almost all the intelligent things to say have been used up.
Not really, just a bit of lightness before I begin... in regards to what Nessonite and a few others have said, I too believe that there's a bit of genetic hardwiring going on in what causes a tickle fetish. Almost all of the things that have been mentioned - repeatedly looking up "tickle, ticklish, tickling" in the dictonary and learning it in other languages (hacer cosquillas, kusugutaii), feeling extremely awkward and embarrassed whenever tickling was mentioned or performed in a public setting, I have had all of this happen to me. The initial responses of fear and shame that accompany this could be the result of a natural human tendency, namely to ask "Why am I different?" At a younger age, some can feel, as I did, that seeing or hearing of tickling provokes a different response in oneself than in others. Lack of understanding about this different response, such as "Why does it happen?" or "What am I feeling?" can contribute to the awkwardness people feel even much later about "confessing" to having a tickle fetish. Memories that evoke strong emotions even without distinct circumstances can still have a powerful effect on people many years later.

 

[nessonite1]

Almost all of the things that have been mentioned - repeatedly looking up "tickle, ticklish, tickling" in the dictonary and learning it in other languages (hacer cosquillas, kusugutaii),

hahaha I didnt realize how universal this was. I can't tell you what a freak I felt like doing this. 😀

 

[TickleSoldier]

Aww Ness,your not a freak ^_^ don't think that, hehe

 

[tickleking]

In terms of the original question (How "strange" is a tickle fetish considered), as well as responses from other posters, I think it depends on how you share the information. If you set the person day with the "I have something to tell you..." routine, then yeah, it probably _will_ be considered strange. If you just share it in ordinary conversation, like "I don't know what it is, I have just always found it fun..." I think you have a better chance for success in avoiding the strange label. That doesn't mean this will always work, but it seems like I see a lot of posters asking for advice on how to share the information.

I love tickling, and I also love Jack Benny and grilling...but I don't feel the need to have conversation to share this information. Tickling is no more weird than the other two mentioned. I think our own hangups are what cause us to fear it is "strange". Can you imagine that conversation, "Listen, I have been meaning to mention to you, there is a Jack Benny marathon on this weekend, and well...you better sit down..."

I have even asked my wife, who although always indulging me, is not into tickling at all, is extremely straight laced, (at least until I get her shoes off 🙂) if she thought it was weird. Her response has always been, "Why would it be?"


Regards,

TK

 

[Ticklekiller1]

Well, there really isn't much left to say as far as how strange it's considered. Kalamos and a few others managed to clear that up pretty well with all of the precision of a team of seasoned psychologists so, if there is anything left to comment on I supose it would be the "born with it" argument-for me anyway.

I too took on a sexual interest to tickling at a very young age. My earliest memories regaurding the act are of my elder brother lying on the floor, on his back, bare bellied, pretending to be a lifeless robot in need of repairs. My role was to be the scientist who would remove imaginary, burnt-out lights from his abdoman and replace them with new ones. Needless to say it was a fun and funny game! My brother would try his best not to laugh but, you know how that goes... Furthermore he insists that when I was about 3 and he 11, he would talk to his bycle while working on it and ask it such things as "Does it tickle?" which I -according to him- found very funny. Though I have no such memory of that I must say that it does sound somewhat familiar. Also growing up I seen a great many cartoons both old and new as well as shows like the three stooges and the little rascals most of which have displayed instances of tickling at one time or another. I have always loved Warner Bros., Hannah Barbarra and MGM cartoons and was heavily exsposed to them as a child. Tickling happened in a lot of these as most of you are well aware so, I need not go into detail to reinforce the point which I'll be getting to very soon-I hope. Later at the age of 4 I was constantly harrased by a few teen girls (probably cousins) who when they would visit would chase me down and tickle the living daylights out of me if I wastn't quick enough to scurry behind the couch where I would be safely out of reach. It was quite scary I must admit and they were all so enthused that the look in their eyes wasn't far from the malevolent lear of raving lunatics. Anyway, shortly after that I discovered "Toe Socks" in a most curious way and around that time my tickling fetish was awake and to this day my hunger for tickling often makes *me* feel like a raving lunatic. I don't think that I was born with any tendencies toward tickling but, rather a strong sense and drive of sexuality. I truely believe that being born with an overdose of sexual energy can often lead to the sexual fascination of almost anything especially something that strikes us as new or funny at a young age whether it be a curious action/reaction or an interesting object. As far as being able to back-up this belief, all I have left is that even today at the age of 32 I have been diagnosed with having a low enough level of testosterone that I have been prescribed to use androgel to prevent me from developing osteoperosis. However I do not use the androgel even though I know that doing so would increase my strength, stamina and restore my bone durability it would also place my sex drive at a level that would be nearly unbareable and even now I would like a decrease. This may sound funny but, it's true. I've even asked my doctor -more than once- if there is anything that can be done and there seems to be know answer. It's almost feels like a curse. I *hate* it.

-TK

 

[MistressValerie1]

It's almost feels like a curse. I *hate* it.

-TK

I felt that way from childhood up until I met someone who shares my own unconventional sexual tastes. Even now, I refer to being a compulsive ler as "The Dark Gift." It certainly has its fun side, but the dark side (society's condemnation, legal persecution of pro-domination, etc.) is always present as well.

Best regards,

 

[-Kunoke-]

In terms of the original question (How "strange" is a tickle fetish considered), as well as responses from other posters, I think it depends on how you share the information. If you set the person day with the "I have something to tell you..." routine, then yeah, it probably _will_ be considered strange. If you just share it in ordinary conversation, like "I don't know what it is, I have just always found it fun..." I think you have a better chance for success in avoiding the strange label.

I totally agree with that. Pulling someone aside like that and saying "I have something...to tell you" is like....you're coming out of the closet or something and its like...what? But if, say you tickled someone for a long time at just some random chance and they ask you about it, you should just calmly say that you've always found it fun or something and it will seem perfectally normal.

 

[nessonite1]

True...it's like the difference between
"Oh my GOD I lost my job! We're RUINED!"
and
"Great news, honey! I'm able to make that career change I've always wanted!"