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method11236
TMF Master
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- Sep 10, 2002
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- 883
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As long as the TMF is on the internet, it will be subject to spam, misleading personals, guys who think with their dick, pornography, false advertising, flaming, and everything else that the internet brings. The only way to clean up a personals/meeting site is to charge money to access it. The money spent is a signaling mechanism that lets others know you're serious about really finding compatable people and meeting them in real life. Look at the two ends of the spectrum: craigslist (get kidnapped, raped and killed) and eharmony (fall in love and get married and have a million babies).
Meth
Meth
daddy
Verified
- Joined
- Apr 25, 2001
- Messages
- 1,383
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- 38
Well, no matter what, you will always have those amongst us that will ruin things and scare people off due to their selfish nature. The chatroom was and still is a big problem for me and that is why I never go into what should be a wonderful place to hang out. Heck, I even get PM'd by guys as soon as I enter the room, and when I tell them I am a dude they will then start with the "do you have a girlfriend, is she ticklish, where is she tickilish, how often do you tickle her?, and so on. Man...give me a break! It's not that I don't mind talking about tickling stuff...that is why I am in there, but overkill just ruins it.
As for the personals section, the way it is will never really work. For it to have a chance at working, it needs to be set up just like the big boyz sites do it like matchmaker or eharmony, but of course with tickling being the central theme. The mods should get together and have pre-defined questions that every person who wants to be in the personals has to answer. Therefore we would get screenings of people that would light up a more overall picture of the person and not just the tickle stuff.
It would be hard work, but I think it would work alot better that way.
peace out,
daddy
As for the personals section, the way it is will never really work. For it to have a chance at working, it needs to be set up just like the big boyz sites do it like matchmaker or eharmony, but of course with tickling being the central theme. The mods should get together and have pre-defined questions that every person who wants to be in the personals has to answer. Therefore we would get screenings of people that would light up a more overall picture of the person and not just the tickle stuff.
It would be hard work, but I think it would work alot better that way.
peace out,
daddy
Morpheus72
TMF Expert
- Joined
- Oct 7, 2005
- Messages
- 408
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- 0
Agree with Bad and Artoo, et. al.
I'll agree with Bad and Artoo, among others....
To start with, I just re-read Billy's post, and I think the best way to accomplish the "getting to know you" process on this site is to post, respond, use the chat room, maybe even go to gatherings, and, most of all, be patient! Now, I'm not someone with a lot of posts (the only time I care about feathers is in the bedroom!) and I'm not in the chat room all the time, but I've met, and gotten closer to, several nice people in my limited time.
It's not difficult, really. You do, however, have to wade through the cesspool of desperation and stalking behavior to show folks that you're a good person. It's NOT going to happen "with a picture and a paragraph", as they say on eHarmony. There's just too much fake stuff in the personals, and most of the people who are not desperate/stalkerish have given up on that route.You could write the "gold standard" of personals, I think, and it still would be ignored.
On the one hand, you've got the men on here who see women as a pair of feet, a belly, or just a tickle object. On the other hand, you've got the uber-desperate, overly-polite, suck-up dudes. They all think that a common interest will make up for profound creepiness/dorkiness and a lack of social skills. It's not going to happen -- that's obvious -- but it makes it more difficult for the rest of us.
In short, there aren't any shortcuts...especially here, where women have no doubt been burned and are wary.
Morph
I'll agree with Bad and Artoo, among others....
To start with, I just re-read Billy's post, and I think the best way to accomplish the "getting to know you" process on this site is to post, respond, use the chat room, maybe even go to gatherings, and, most of all, be patient! Now, I'm not someone with a lot of posts (the only time I care about feathers is in the bedroom!) and I'm not in the chat room all the time, but I've met, and gotten closer to, several nice people in my limited time.
It's not difficult, really. You do, however, have to wade through the cesspool of desperation and stalking behavior to show folks that you're a good person. It's NOT going to happen "with a picture and a paragraph", as they say on eHarmony. There's just too much fake stuff in the personals, and most of the people who are not desperate/stalkerish have given up on that route.You could write the "gold standard" of personals, I think, and it still would be ignored.
On the one hand, you've got the men on here who see women as a pair of feet, a belly, or just a tickle object. On the other hand, you've got the uber-desperate, overly-polite, suck-up dudes. They all think that a common interest will make up for profound creepiness/dorkiness and a lack of social skills. It's not going to happen -- that's obvious -- but it makes it more difficult for the rest of us.
In short, there aren't any shortcuts...especially here, where women have no doubt been burned and are wary.
Morph
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cakepaladin
Registered User
- Joined
- May 25, 2007
- Messages
- 49
- Points
- 0
Billy,
This is a good topic of conversation, but you need to take "Internet Forums" for what they are worth---especially BDSM/Tickling/Spanking/etc related sites.
There is a population of probably 95% guys on it and another percent pretending to be women (yes guys pose as women and even post pics) and a smaller percent that are women. I've been around tons of forums and met many groups out for gatherings. They're good people by and large, but most of the women are not there to meet people. A lot are there because they have a huge male audience (in a safe armchair environment) to get attention from. They get lots of attention from a bunch of males who think that if they befriend them on the forums that they will be able to hook-up with them...lol...ummm...yeah. That might make some people mad, but it's the truth. Ohh well. I've known a couple women who have done it and who currently do it. But they would never meet anyone out for BDSM or tickling. Very few would do this. They like to talk about it on the Internet and get all worked up, but that is as far as it goes for most. I'm not saying that there aren't 1 or 2 women out there who wouldn't (I know one personally who does), but the likelyhood is very very very rare. It might sound like I am being harsh, but I'm not trying to be. I've been on the old alt.binaries and such since 1994-ish and have seen most of this stuff come full-circle. There ain't nothing new under the sun.
Finding a partner into BDSM, spanking, and even tickling is a pot-shoot. You just have to get out there and play the odds (which is what you are and I commend you). But you gotta be informed of the odds. Personally I like to goto BDSM gatherings where I can see the people and weed out the posers. ALT.COM and a few others have large groups of people that meet out regularly. This group has the NEST gathering (that I couldn't attend this year).
Just my two-cents.
Cake
This is a good topic of conversation, but you need to take "Internet Forums" for what they are worth---especially BDSM/Tickling/Spanking/etc related sites.
There is a population of probably 95% guys on it and another percent pretending to be women (yes guys pose as women and even post pics) and a smaller percent that are women. I've been around tons of forums and met many groups out for gatherings. They're good people by and large, but most of the women are not there to meet people. A lot are there because they have a huge male audience (in a safe armchair environment) to get attention from. They get lots of attention from a bunch of males who think that if they befriend them on the forums that they will be able to hook-up with them...lol...ummm...yeah. That might make some people mad, but it's the truth. Ohh well. I've known a couple women who have done it and who currently do it. But they would never meet anyone out for BDSM or tickling. Very few would do this. They like to talk about it on the Internet and get all worked up, but that is as far as it goes for most. I'm not saying that there aren't 1 or 2 women out there who wouldn't (I know one personally who does), but the likelyhood is very very very rare. It might sound like I am being harsh, but I'm not trying to be. I've been on the old alt.binaries and such since 1994-ish and have seen most of this stuff come full-circle. There ain't nothing new under the sun.
Finding a partner into BDSM, spanking, and even tickling is a pot-shoot. You just have to get out there and play the odds (which is what you are and I commend you). But you gotta be informed of the odds. Personally I like to goto BDSM gatherings where I can see the people and weed out the posers. ALT.COM and a few others have large groups of people that meet out regularly. This group has the NEST gathering (that I couldn't attend this year).
Just my two-cents.
Cake
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Stevereeno
Guest
- Joined
- Jul 23, 2003
- Messages
- 466
- Points
- 0
Men blaming other men for their own online impotency with women isn't going to improve the personals. Women with sexual profiles complaining how men want to get sexual with them aren't going to improve the personals either. Cutting down on sexual innuendo and stimulating conversation doesn't seem like the answer to improving the personals. Men and women both want sex... so eliminating stuff that makes a sex life won't work.
Do the men and women that post in the personals even like the opposite sex??
Do the men and women that post in the personals even like the opposite sex??
BlackestLily
3rd Level Green Feather
- Joined
- Mar 8, 2008
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- 4,562
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Well, I'm not sure how much my opinion is worth, but I won't even look at or respond to personals if the guy is looking for some quickie. I'm not looking to be a one night stand or their sexual fullfillment for their fetish on the sly.
ParanoidChant
TMF Master
- Joined
- Dec 26, 2007
- Messages
- 666
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- 0
Ya know, I really don't think we need to spend the money on an eharmony-esque filter system (which would probably have somewhat limited results, in all honesty). I mean, we have a pretty solid way of getting to know people here:
THE ENTIRE FORUM ITSELF.
Look, obviously not everyone's going to participate in general discussions or whatnot, but you get a pretty good feel about who the people that do are. I mean, most of that 'clique' nonsense from the other week seemed to be targeted at the people who became very good friends via this forum.
Hell, look at the radio chatroom. Everybody there have very strong bonds, and that was mostly done without the personals section.
My advice to people who want meet ticklephiles of similar interest: start threads about your interests and get to know the people who respond.
THE ENTIRE FORUM ITSELF.
Look, obviously not everyone's going to participate in general discussions or whatnot, but you get a pretty good feel about who the people that do are. I mean, most of that 'clique' nonsense from the other week seemed to be targeted at the people who became very good friends via this forum.
Hell, look at the radio chatroom. Everybody there have very strong bonds, and that was mostly done without the personals section.
My advice to people who want meet ticklephiles of similar interest: start threads about your interests and get to know the people who respond.
DimpleToes
2nd Level Indigo Feather
- Joined
- Mar 23, 2007
- Messages
- 6,406
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- 0
the forum or the chat room is like anything else in life.. you have to get to know a person.. male or female to form a friendship first... as a woman, I want to be treated as a freind first..get to know me and allow me to get to know you... trust is so very important. if both parties trust each other from having freindship come first then tickling will be a plesurable thing for everyone.
It is a big turn off when I go into the chat room and get 10 pm's right away... follow the rules.. ask first.. and I dont hide the fact that I am married.. come on.. that does not mean I will not meet you one day for some play time... but friendship first.
I dont want to make it sound like all men/women are pigs... alot of men and women in the chat room are very sweet once you get to kow them.. I have made so many friends and am blessed to have you all in my life.. you bring a smile to my face and a hug in my heart.
HUGSSSSS/Lisa
It is a big turn off when I go into the chat room and get 10 pm's right away... follow the rules.. ask first.. and I dont hide the fact that I am married.. come on.. that does not mean I will not meet you one day for some play time... but friendship first.
I dont want to make it sound like all men/women are pigs... alot of men and women in the chat room are very sweet once you get to kow them.. I have made so many friends and am blessed to have you all in my life.. you bring a smile to my face and a hug in my heart.
HUGSSSSS/Lisa
lilyisticklish
TMF Expert
- Joined
- Feb 11, 2008
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- 552
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Ok I am not complaining that men want to get sexual with me. Frankly I like the attention. However I do not like the way that most of the guys go about bringing up the sexual or the tickling with me. The instantaneous do you wanna cyber? requests really get on my nerves. People I hate to break it to you but I do not cyber.... Period. Like DimpleToes said I like people to get to know me before trying to get intimate with me.
I doubt the solution is once size fits all beyond basic courtesy
And maybe basic courtesy is the starting point. Ask permission. Learn and acknowledge boundries and go from there. Whether in the chat room or personals, ettiquette is indispenible. Learn it. practice it. And expect the other side to put you mute if you don't. Nuff said. Now if we could only get all ticklephiles to stop calling their interest in tickling a fetish! That would be an accomplishment!!! 🙂
Tom
And maybe basic courtesy is the starting point. Ask permission. Learn and acknowledge boundries and go from there. Whether in the chat room or personals, ettiquette is indispenible. Learn it. practice it. And expect the other side to put you mute if you don't. Nuff said. Now if we could only get all ticklephiles to stop calling their interest in tickling a fetish! That would be an accomplishment!!! 🙂
Tom
tickmankyle1
1st Level Orange Feather
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- Oct 30, 2006
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i agree once i had a friend over on yahoo chat it was 8 years ago she used her id and logged on i was not used to getting any pm's she had tons and tons of pm's cause she was a women. it was almost harrasment. i know when i go into the chat room as a man even most of the people just want to cyber tickle. i do hear alot of women complaining. it just sucks that a few mess it up for the many happy tickles to all who get them ugly kid joe
QUOTE=badreligion;1697390]honestly i think alot of it has to do with the way girls get treated here by guys , the reason girls dont respond is because half the time they get bombarded with PMs on the forums or unwanted PCs in the chat room asking the same questions " so r u ticklish on your feet?" " can i see your feet?" "wanna cyber tickle me while i play with myself?". Then there are some people on this site who are just plain creepy the way they go about talking to girls so of course they arnt gonna get the responses they want cause *and im not sayin every guy * but a majority of guys on here are rude and creepy , im not gonna name names but i know a few off the top of my head who have driven a girl off this site , now he will claim that he didnt cause he " talks " to her but hes lying threw his teeth .
so to answer your question , theres nothing wrong with the personals , theres something wrong with the way guys go about talking to girls on the site . Granted it is a fetish site , but its still real life , you wouldnt go up to a girl in the mall and ask her all those questions if you didnt know her, would you ?
So im sure there are guys on here who post in the personal section who are just normal guys looking to meet someone but if your a girl and you experience this from otheres what would make you think this guy would be any different ?[/QUOTE]
QUOTE=badreligion;1697390]honestly i think alot of it has to do with the way girls get treated here by guys , the reason girls dont respond is because half the time they get bombarded with PMs on the forums or unwanted PCs in the chat room asking the same questions " so r u ticklish on your feet?" " can i see your feet?" "wanna cyber tickle me while i play with myself?". Then there are some people on this site who are just plain creepy the way they go about talking to girls so of course they arnt gonna get the responses they want cause *and im not sayin every guy * but a majority of guys on here are rude and creepy , im not gonna name names but i know a few off the top of my head who have driven a girl off this site , now he will claim that he didnt cause he " talks " to her but hes lying threw his teeth .
so to answer your question , theres nothing wrong with the personals , theres something wrong with the way guys go about talking to girls on the site . Granted it is a fetish site , but its still real life , you wouldnt go up to a girl in the mall and ask her all those questions if you didnt know her, would you ?
So im sure there are guys on here who post in the personal section who are just normal guys looking to meet someone but if your a girl and you experience this from otheres what would make you think this guy would be any different ?[/QUOTE]
FeatheryOctopi
TMF Expert
- Joined
- Sep 8, 2006
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- 514
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- 0
I think this has mostly been covered, but what the hay, I'm still working for my feather. 😉 I agree with Paranoidchant the forums are filled with people leaving clues about themselves in their posts, and we all like tickling here right? Courtesy, openess, and originality are your best choices for making friends. But the matter at hand is the personals section, my ideas: Show people who you are, and what you want. The personals now are like picking from a line of people with paper bags on their heads.
If you want a response, try posting a picture, listing hobbies, education, career, why you like tickling, and most of all, what you are looking for. Thanxxx
If you want a response, try posting a picture, listing hobbies, education, career, why you like tickling, and most of all, what you are looking for. Thanxxxticklesenseless
TMF Poster
- Joined
- Nov 23, 2003
- Messages
- 137
- Points
- 16
I actually met a lady through the personals here and we had a few great sessions where she tickled me. We had discussed my potentially tickling her and even tried to arrange a session with another couple but life got in the way as it tends to especially when people live hours apart.
I think people do need to work on the ads they post, I know I need to, and I think people need to be respectful when contacting someone.
Hopefully in the past, I haven't rubbed any ladies here the wrong way but if I have, I apologize.
I should probably post another ad here myself, but I do have a rope lover coming over in a few weeks to introduce me to her ropes and she is aware of my love for being tickled.
I also hope Rob has received my SAT application and that a number of people in the North Georgia area will attend so those of us with similar interests in the area can get to know each other and perhaps form a local community that meets from time-to-time. I think that is a great thing that Rob and others are doing.
I think people do need to work on the ads they post, I know I need to, and I think people need to be respectful when contacting someone.
Hopefully in the past, I haven't rubbed any ladies here the wrong way but if I have, I apologize.
I should probably post another ad here myself, but I do have a rope lover coming over in a few weeks to introduce me to her ropes and she is aware of my love for being tickled.
I also hope Rob has received my SAT application and that a number of people in the North Georgia area will attend so those of us with similar interests in the area can get to know each other and perhaps form a local community that meets from time-to-time. I think that is a great thing that Rob and others are doing.
TheAceOfCakes
TMF Poster
- Joined
- Jun 1, 2008
- Messages
- 105
- Points
- 0
This post kind of got my ideas in order.
People looking through the personals sections are often looking for different things entirely. Perhaps the personals could stand a further division?
Split it into two parts. One would be for one-time gatherings, looking for a tickle partner, etc. Sometimes people just want to hook up with someone for a night and maybe see where it goes. Others may just want a casual gathering of tickling fans. This part would be for them.
The other would be more like a standard personals section. A place where members looking for a serious or long term relationship - with someone who happens to share their interest in tickling - can post about themselves in the hopes of finding someone special.
Many of the vague entries seem to be from these guys looking for "quickies." Unfortunately there's no way to get around this, and the casual gathering forum would probably end up spammed up with them again. On the other hand, maybe some of those seeking said quickies (the ones who are at least legit) might actually have a little more success if everyone looking for the same kind of encounter is looking in that forum.
Meanwhile the relationship personals, while they'll undoubtedly end up with their share of fakes and poseurs as well, can all be found in one place. I understand the arguments made earlier in the thread about not limiting the search for love to the forum, and I don't necessarily disagree with them, but this would allow those who still wish to pursue love within the community to do so.
It's not a perfect idea, nor is this the only way it could be done. Others may be able to work this into something better, or just have a flat out different idea that would work better. But it's an idea, and I figured it couldn't hurt to throw it out there, even if it meant bumping a thread a little.
Very simply and well put.
Common courtesy isn't that common nowdays I'm afraid, and a lot of the adds in the personals refect that. It seems to be nothing more than a "here I am, come and get me" thing, with a lot of the adds posted.
Also when I go into the chatroom, which isn't that often anyway nowdays, I go there to talk to my friends and make new ones. Not to "pick up" so to speak. Which is another seemingly growing problem.
Like others have said, things would naturally improve if some of my fellow men would stop thinking with their libido. It's sad, but true. I can try to assure every female on this forum that I'm a good guy, but given the fibs others tell, they can't know that for sure. In my mind, the best way to truly develop strong, trusting relationships with others into tickling is to take advantage of the gatherings. And yes, before anyone says it, I have not done so yet. Call it a recent realization. 😉
