I can think of at least two reasons why I shouldn't even be browsing this section of the TMF, much less posting in it. The first (and foremost) reason is that I'm married, incompatibly so, but still married. The second is that I've got HUGE trust issues when it comes to strangers, men in particular. I won't bore the crap out of you with all the psycho-babble, just know that it takes awhile to get passed my defenses. If you're not a patient guy, this ad definitely isn't for you.
So why is a married, somewhat paranoid, 40-something year old woman, posting a personal ad? The short answer is that I've reached a point in my life where I'm tired of never getting what I want. It's my carpe diem years (I'm pretty sure that's Latin for "fuck it, why not" lol), and I want to have some fun for once.
Since our definitions of "fun" might vary wildly, I'll explain what I mean. I'm NOT looking to have a romantic relationship, a sexual affair, or a lot of emotional entanglements. I just want a friend I can meet up with once a month (or so) for some tickle play. THIS WILL NOT EVER LEAD TO SEX , nudity, or anything other than playful tickling between friends. That is a line I'm not willing to cross for as long as my marriage lasts (no matter how charming you may be, lol). It may seem silly to you to draw that line since I'm over here typing up a personal ad, but I've never had sex with anyone other than my husband for the last 25-years, and I'd like to keep it that way. I guess it makes me feel slightly less horrible for doing this 😉
I assume you're okay with all of that because you're still reading this ridiculously long personal ad, so let me tell you what I'm looking for in a playmate. Here are some qualities that draw me in and make me want to play - some of them are negotiable, and some are not:
Non-negotiable ones include:
- You are male. I just don't enjoy being tickled by girls.
- You are between 35-55 years old. Some wiggle room on either side of that age range is ok, but if you're in your 20's, sorry I just can't. My daughter is about to turn 20-years old and the thought of playing with someone around her age is something I could never do. I already feel bad enough about myself for posting this, so I don't need to feel like a pedophile on top of being a cheater 😉
- You have a great sense of humor. Life is WAY too serious most of the time, so I need someone who can make me laugh even when you're not tickling me 🙂 If you were labelled the "class clown" that no one thought would amount to much back in high school, email me, lol. When being tickled, I have an annoying habit of trying to hold in my laughter - I don't know why I do it (maybe control issues?). So having a guy who can make me laugh with stupid wisecracks or jokes is a MAJOR bonus.
- You live close to Long Island (preferably ON Long Island). I don't want long-distance play friends because getting together is often this HUGE deal to coordinate. It would be great if you can host, but I'm not willing to travel anywhere further than NYC. If you can't host, but getting a hotel room for us to play in is something you can afford, then that's cool too. I can't host for obvious reasons.
Negotiable qualities, but preferred:
- You have a dominant, confident, outgoing personality. If you have no problem meeting people in a crowd of strangers you're what I'm looking for in a playmate. I'm kind of introverted by nature, so I need some help coming out of my shell. Once I know you well, you'd never believe I'm an introvert (none of my friends do), but during that initial getting-to-know-you stage, I'm usually pretty shy - I spend most of my time trying to unknot the tongue inside my mouth when I first meet people.... I fail miserably most of the time. If I start talking about the weather to fill the awkward silence , just smack me. Please.
- You feel most comfortable playing 'Ler, but you're willing to switch. Not willing to play switch isn't a deal breaker, it's just something I think would be fun. I'm really in this to be tickled, but if I can get some revenge tickles in too, it would be awesome. [UPDATE 1/10/19: since beginning sessions and getting the opportunity to play switch, I found out a startling fact about myself that I never saw coming - I'm NOT a switch. Playing 'ler was fun for a little while, but I'd rather stick to being the 'lee during a session. Sorry to all you switches!]
- You've spent the better part of the last couple of decades honing your tickling skills and can usually turn a girl into a giggling mess without too much trouble. I tend to be a tough-nut to crack during play (did I mention I'm stubborn as hell?), so having a guy who knows what he's doing as a 'Ler is helpful.
- You're at least 6-foot tall. Okay, I'm aware that this one is shallow as hell, lol. But I'm not a little girl (I'm 5'7"), so I'd love it if the guy I play with is significantly taller than me. I just love the feeling of being overpowered by a big guy (playfully, of course). Obviously, if you've got the bulk of the qualities that I'm looking for, height doesn't matter at all. But I figured that while I'm over here building a wish-sundae, I may as well ask for the cherry on top 😀
Good thing I didn't post this ad in the personals section of the newspaper - this shit would've cost a fortune!!