I, like others who have responded, understand completely where you are coming from. I began experiencing tickling desires in my early teen years....desires which I knew were different from the typical mainstream "norm" and which I couldn't really explain why I had them....I just did, and eventually I knew that they wouldn't change...it was just going to be who I was. I had no Internet access at home in my early teen years (early-mid 90's)....it wasn't until college that I had a Internet access and found that sites actually existed which were catered to tickling fetishism....and those were mainly just pic sites back then...neither TMF nor Fetlife nor other similar "social media" type forums existed back then. I also went through some failed dating attempts due to incompatibility with my tickling fetish. Instant messaging services like AIM and Yahoo Chat eventually led me to hit-or-miss discovery others who were either directly into the fetish or open to the idea of it. Even then, nothing really happened in real life for me until I was 22, and that was far and few between type encounters. After years of searching and discouragement, I finally met someone else who was into tickle torture and who I was able to have long-term regular tickle torture sessions with when I was 25, and it was and still is truly wonderful.
It's an entirely different world for you now...one where sites dedicated to connecting tickle fetishists (like Tickle Theater) do exist, and where you can share your desires directly with. You also live close to Philly, which seems to be sort of a hub for tickling fetishism with NEST and all. Hang in there...you are young and cute and motivated. It will happen for you. Just remember that you can't change who you really are or what you are really into deep down. You just keep doing you, and you will fulfill your desires that exist now....and eventually others that you had no idea even existed within you, stemming off of what you desire right now. 🙂
