Ladies and gentlement, I would like to take a moment to apologize to you all. On May 13, 12:41PM, I made an incredibly offensive, rude, immature, and horrible remark. I said that foot tickling never actually tickles anyone. It was wrong of me, and I am sorry. You see, I was going through a tough time in my life. About a day before the post in question, my wife had recently tickled my mother to death and then divorced me. She took half of our savings even though I worked hard to earn that money (I am a professional tickle-slave and get paid for it). After that, my father disowned me when he found out I have a job with tickling (he wanted me to get a water-bondage job instead). Finally, my children cooked and ate my pet dog.
Anyway, my statement was foolish. I know that I implied that I tickled every foot in the known universe, but it was simply untrue. I have only tickled the feet in the Milky Way Galaxy. And even then, most of those feet were at least somewhat ticklish. My comment was completely uncalled for, offensive, and was completely unfounded by any data. In fact, my studies reveal that the opposite is true. I am sorry for my lies to this wonderful community.
I hope that you all can forgive me. I meant you no harm with my foolish statement. I just hope that one day, I can call you guys my....friends. I love you all. I am sorry.
Anyway, my statement was foolish. I know that I implied that I tickled every foot in the known universe, but it was simply untrue. I have only tickled the feet in the Milky Way Galaxy. And even then, most of those feet were at least somewhat ticklish. My comment was completely uncalled for, offensive, and was completely unfounded by any data. In fact, my studies reveal that the opposite is true. I am sorry for my lies to this wonderful community.
I hope that you all can forgive me. I meant you no harm with my foolish statement. I just hope that one day, I can call you guys my....friends. I love you all. I am sorry.
