Is it worth giving up?

[duderino84]

Stream of thought post. If it's depressing, sorry.

So, I've been into tickling since the early 2000s. That's when I discovered this forum.

As a guy, each year, it seems like less opportunities present themselves to explore "tickling". Many people don't get it. They don't want to get it, and that's fine with me, because "hey, why live a lie?".

Tickling has always been in my personal order of operations in terms of finding a partner. If they can't handle that, then I feel like there's multiple other areas we won't match on.

Everyone talks wistfully about the "joys of being ourselves", but the closer I look for more qualities in people, the less I find.

Have you ever just walked away from this life? Just gave up on tickling? On trying to date? Just be incognito?

 

[luvgirlsfeet]

I understand where you’re coming from with this and I’ve questioned myself and I don’t know what to do. It’s a catch 22 situation

 

[duderino84]

I think part of it is the combination of knowing the number of "false starts" I've had with people, along with knowing that a large number of people I've generally (being really liberal here) been able to call "friends" have gotten married/ had kids and moved on.

I try to keep a chin up and use Facebook dating here and there, but the way I grew up (not just being into tickling but like being musical/ working with bands/ trying to gig and diversified with interests) looking at partners... they're freaking boring a lot of the time.

So it's not just about tickling, but life itself.

 

[Libertine]

I'm afraid life in general is boring, which is quite frightening/annoying when one considers the alternative.

As far as persisting goes, as General Carl von Clausewitz said when his book, titled 'On War' was published posthumously in 1832, 'Even when the likelihood of success is against us, we must not think of our undertaking as unreasonable or impossible, for it is always reasonable if we do not know of anything better to do'.

And if all's fair in love and war, I suggest you just get on with it somehow, even if you honestly think you can go no further. Because I assure you, you can. And always remember that success will come in the strangest way, when you least expect it.

Attention, present arms, and forward march, old man!

 

[duderino84]

I can move on, I just believe many people are overly superficial.

I can see how I'm lucky to be alive, not with any substantial debt caused by people or other partners. I've just had a stressful go of it since 2023 (career woes) and lately flashbacks of the "good old days" (or maybe the "bad old days" when you get better mental vision) come back. I had more people to relate to, I was still doing the things I'm naturally good at; I just had one too many incidents that pushed me in a corner to stop.

Trying to move past that, in my opinion, is of higher value than busting the nut. Looking for any modern value in the things I enjoyed got more difficult and it has a weight when you don't know what to tell yourself to...carpe diem.

 

[WickedTouch]

I don't know you, but I have some thoughts. In the end, this is a cost-benefit analysis for the individual and the individual alone. If I could make it be otherwise for you, I would!

I've had many seasons of good and bad in relationships and tickling. Too many bad ones can cause the bitterness of uncertainty to dominate one's thoughts. Some years ago, after a long-term relationship ended with emotional scars, I took a while to get back into the idea of dating again. For a long time even the thought of it was very painful. I reflected a lot on what I might want in a future partner with fresh perspective. One thing I realized was that my previous relationship, which had little or no tickling in it, now helped me to realize I didn't want to compromise so much my love of tickling. But I also started a list of values and things I'd want in a future partner. It sounded like a good idea, but I'd find over and over it was nearly impossible to satisfy that list. I didn't even feel like I was being that picky, but the statistical probability of getting all those things to line up in a single person was...well, I might as well of played the lottery. I got somewhat depressed and gave up for a while, mostly just talking with people online in the community and being friendly to them. I got closer and closer with a particular girl who wanted to meet me. I liked her a lot. The thing was, she didn't check many of the boxes on my list, but when I met her, I realized that the list, which contained a handful of useful values, has mostly junk. We fell in love with each other and are now married. I never would have imagined many of the things that happened to me since the "dark ages," but especially marrying someone from the community.

My point in sharing the story is not to say that this to will happen to you for sure, but that there is an X factor in much of life that is totally unaccounted for. Luck, depending upon how you define it, happens to people. Luckiness is not a thing that defines how your life will go going forward–it more describes the past. You won't know how lucky you will have been, until enough of the past has passed. Luck is not everything. There is also effort, approach, attitude, among many other factors. But in the end, only you can determine if what you are putting in is worth what you may get out.