Is it wrong to warn my fellow men on here about an imposter?

[chode]

Is it wrong for me to warn the other guys of this forum about someone who missrepresents themselves and their sex? I would think is a public service anouncement.

 

[Comfort Eagle]

what do you mean? Like a dude pretending to be a chick and vice-versa? Well, thats the risk you run talking to people online... :wooha:

 

[Celtic_Emperor]

I think in matters where innocent people's dignities are at stake by being associated with imposters, something like this should be revealed, but to the appropriate parties and letting them handle it (ie- the mods).

 

[TickledToDeath]

Hmm, interesting question since the forums here and elsewhere have been chock full of.......impostors. Guys pretending to be chicks in chatrooms especially. The logic I presume is that they are deprived and desperate for cyber tickling let alone any tickling but to them cyber fantasy is about as close as they get most if not all of the time and to pretend they are females makes it a damn near sure thing that they will have tickle conversation and a cyber tickle session. A guy going in there and appearing that......desperate and in need of tickle talk with a female straight out is less apt to happen to the degree that some of those guys want. In a way that is simple and somewhat harmless deception. Nobody is really getting....hurt in any way. HOWever, if it is a guy pretending to be a woman and he/she is attempting to MEET others and the deception is of a malicious intent, that is another story and should be brought to someones' attention INCLUDING the person being accused and through PM and NOT publically until it is 100 percent proven that the accused guilty of what he/she is being accused of or has a chance to fade out quietly without incident and or be who he/she truly is and knock of the impersonation.
IF the act is not malicious, then no harm no foul I would guess. There could be a "the ends justify the means" scenario going on too. One must know the Intent of the accused before casting the stones at them.

Just a thought or three.

TTD

 

[nessonite1]

I'm with TTD there...if this is someone who is just getting their jollies from pretending to be something they're not then it's not a bad thing. If this is someone who is seeking more personal relationships and getting someone else emotionally involved in their alter-ego then it certainly is worth telling the other party that the person they are talking to is not what they seem to be. No point in publically addressing it unless it is some sort of malicious act being perpetrated.

 

[asutickler1]

As I saw someone else say once:


"Welcome to the internet; where the men are men, the women are men, and the children are FBI agents..."

 

[MistressValerie1]

"Welcome to the internet; where the men are men, the women are men, and the children are FBI agents..."

LMAO! 😀

On a serious note, I agree with what Vlad, TTD, and Nessie said, and that's the advice I would give as well.

Best of luck,

 

[amywood]

LMAO! 😀

On a serious note, I agree with what Vlad, TTD, and Nessie said, and that's the advice I would give as well.

Best of luck,

I would also advise "Be sure". I had a problem where a few people decided to dislike me. As a result, I was deleted from two groups because of the lies from these people. I managed to convince enough people that I wasn't a bad person and was re-instated in the groups but it's difficult convincing new people that there is nothing wrong with me. They want to believe the lies and instead of learning who I am. I feel like I'm whining when I say, "Ask him/her what they think of me". A few wrong words can ruin a good reputation so, please, "Be sure".

 

[steph]

I'm with the rest babe. Just be sure first. These places are full of losers pretending they are chicks. A guy, especially, needs to be cautious. 😉
XOXO

 

[wendyandpeter]

Another take on the subject ...

I respectfully disagree with my fellow posters.

I don't think it's harmless for a male to pretend to be a female in a chatroom or in a forum. Those of us who have been involved in the community since the days of pay-per-minute AOL know that "imposters" cause all sorts of trouble and ill will. Imposters are one reason why I don't visit chat rooms anymore (haven't for years).

Just because lots of men do it doesn't make it right or any less obnoxious. It's about honesty. I do realize that in our brave new post-moderninst world, concepts like honesty are sometimes perceived as "fuzzy," but usually that's when someone ELSE has been misled or duped in some way.

So what's the harm? The harm is that these "men" are lying to others in order to get something from them. It's kind of like fraud. And since it's rampant, there are people who have been in the scene a very long time and have lots to share with us who have long ago given up "doing chatrooms," the forums, even the pervy side of the Net altogether. I know plenty of honest kinky folks who never participate in that side of the web (save for perhaps pay-per-view) because they have had enough of the bullsh*t. Imposters have helped to lower the credibility of online interaction so much that it has pretty much been relegated to loser status by many people who absolutely are the real deal. A shame, since those are the very people we WANT in chat rooms, posting to fora, etc...

I hope it's clear where I'm going with this -- if we CAN do something about it, we should. Just like dealing with flamers. Why not let the mods take care of it? In a perfect world, the mods WOULD take care of it. If you think about it, the technology exists to deny "opposite sex" user names and profiles, which might not take care of all of it, but would take care of some of it for sure. Why don't websites do that? Some do, but most don't .. especially free ones, because the site owners want participating bodies. Understandable. But that leaves us to police ourselves. And that's fine too, so long as we can do it responsibly.

SO--- "I" say -- if you have proof positive that the person you are speaking of is indeed a man pretending to be a woman and is actively lying about it (i.e, engaging well-intensioned folks and leading them on), then by all means, post that information. But make absolutely sure you are correct, 'cause once you wrongfully accuse one person, your own credibility will be shot.

 

[TickledToDeath]

I respectfully disagree with my fellow posters.



So what's the harm? The harm is that these "men" are lying to others in order to get something from them. It's kind of like fraud.
I
SO--- "I" say -- if you have proof positive that the person you are speaking of is indeed a man pretending to be a woman
(i.e, engaging well-intensioned folks and leading them on), then by all means, post that information. But make absolutely sure you are correct, 'cause once you wrongfully accuse one person, your own credibility will be shot.

There lies the two points that would make the "impostor" malicious.
Lying in order to "get something" from them.
"Leading them on" in a personal manner for an intent to "hurt" in some way.

The reason is the key.

HOWever, I do agree about men posing as women in chat rooms engaging in personal conversations etc. . That is not cool.

TTD

 

[chode]

Well i could just cut and past from my yahoo messenger archive the conversations i had with this person. How would that do. I would leave it up to all of you to make up your minds.

 

[MistressValerie1]

It would be best to obfuscate the user's Yahoo ID unless you have permission to post it here, just so we don't end up with another flame war.

 

[Magician1]

I strongly believe that pretending to be someone else is pathetic and whoever does it is obviously a coward.

 

[shark]

Warning them is not only perfectly acceptable, but many would prefer to know about it. Both parties have some sort of investment in the conversation, even if it is just a few minutes of their time. One party having the sole "return" on the conversation can be compared to your dog humping your leg...how many people allow that? At least the dog isn't BSing you about its intentions or status.

 

[Headspin]

There's a lot of this kind of thing going on. I don't go into chat rooms all that much but I was in the TMF one the other day where a girl who was also from the UK wanted to chat (not cyber.)

Within 10 minutes she offered to send me a photo without asking for one in return which seemed a little fishy.

When she sent it she told me it was taken in her flat in London. It showed a cute blonde girl sitting in an armchair and looking coyly at the camera. However I could see that the electrical appliances in the pic had 2-pin plugs whereas we have 3-pin plugs over here so I figured it was all bogus. The devil is in the detail! This chat thing, it's a minefield I tell ya 🙂

I guess if people are just looking to get off on some cyber tickling then no-one really gets hurt but as others have said, if they are "grooming" people to facilitate a meeting then that is a much more serious matter.

 

[ladybird27]

I happen to agree that fraudulently representing oneself on a forum or in a chat room is cowardly and just downright creepy. The only thing is though, if you break someone's cover, what's to stop that person from just signing back in with another user name, and another and another? I know of one person in particular who lurks around these chatrooms, using a number of ids and aol screne names to get pictures and personal information from people. He doesn't obfiscate his gender, but he has been known to stalk people that he's become "friends" with, calling them all the time and showing up at their jobs. One person I know had to change his phone number...the whole works. My point is that scary people are out there, and if you blow their cover once they'll just change their id and come right back. Unless there's a way to block that person's ip address, I don't really think there's much we can do beyond being on the lert for creep-os and being very, very careful about the nature of the relationships we get into online.

 

[Timewarp]

I feel that frauding yourself is wrong. However I see no problem in keeping info from anybody. Sometimes we can't trust those we associate. It would probably be better to withhold info than makin up gobbady gook. That said, any info people need to know should be on a need to know basis.

I'm probably not helping here so I'm going to be quiet.

 

[sole seeker1]

Warning them is not only perfectly acceptable, but many would prefer to know about it. Both parties have some sort of investment in the conversation, even if it is just a few minutes of their time. One party having the sole "return" on the conversation can be compared to your dog humping your leg...how many people allow that? At least the dog isn't BSing you about its intentions or status.

You, sir, are damn swift! I agree completely and I think your analogy is right on the money!

The only thing is though, if you break someone's cover, what's to stop that person from just signing back in with another user name, and another and another?

Nothing will stop him, but I read the number of posts a user has under a given name as an indication of trustworthiness. It's not foolproof of course, but people who've kept the same identity get kind of "known" after awhile. Reflex, TickleKing, Nessie. MistressV - lots of others, I think I would probably have caught them in any big lies they were trying to perpetrate regarding who/what they are.

 

[NJShore]

Being pretty internet-experienced from the last 10 years, I've learned to spot potential frauds pretty regularly, especially from my AOL days. It seems that anyone who claims to be 18-21, blonde/blue, an athlete and/or stewardess, and who claims that their English is "not very good"...well, odds are whoever that "woman" is would get into big trouble if his mommy and daddy found out what he was doing online. (Unless this person is, say, 35 years old, which is also very likely. Still living at home, too.)

Unfortunately, this is just something that comes with the internet territory, especially when it would come to a community such as this. The best advice I'd give: chat carefully. Regarding the community as a whole, if the person wishes to pretend to be someone he isn't, as long as no one's getting hurt by it, let him have his fun. It's probably the only thing he has going for him self-esteem wise.

Case in point, and this is an honest-to-God true story just from days ago: I've mentioned in another thread my ticklee friend, Suzanne. She belongs to an alternative-lifestyles personals site. She received a message a few weeks back from a couple. The female was supposedly an early-20's blonde/blue ice skater. However, she only ever talked to and saw photos of the guy, and he creeped her out. So she stopped corresponding. A week or so later, the "female" contacted her. Supposedly the couple broke up but she still wanted to talk with Suzanne. And yes, her English was "not very good". Suzanne wasn't too sure so she asked my opinion, and I told her to get her phone number or photo, and if you decide to meet "her" out, make it very local and very public, and I'd even be there as a "stranger on the other end of the bar" to keep her safe. That made her feel comfortable, so she decided to first ask for a phone number (since the other person already claimed to have no photo). Since then, she hasn't heard from the person. We've been having fun laughing about this ever since.

Now I realize I'm less than a week into this community myself and no one here probably knows me from Adam, but I just figured I'd comment on the topic. It wouldn't surprise me to know that many on here are not who they say they are...but we're smart enough to figure out who's legit and who's not. It's the same reason we can discuss and be a part of this community comfortably: we're adults.
===========
NJShore
===========

 

[lollercaust]

However I could see that the electrical appliances in the pic had 2-pin plugs whereas we have 3-pin plugs over here so I figured it was all bogus. The devil is in the detail!

Now that, good sir, was some quality detective work.

I'm with the ones saying to blow the whistle loud and now. IF you have irrefutable proof (that's a major if), then the world at large needs to know about it. The guilty parties lost any right to privacy the moment they invaded other people's privacy by misrepresenting themselves - both from a moral standpoint and a legal one.

I'd even go so far as to say that it's the original poster's civic obligation to tell people. If I was talking to a girl, and found out she wasn't a girl, I'd be pretty upset, and I'd be a thousand times more upset if I knew that OTHER people knew (s)he wasn't a girl and kept their mouths shut about it.

 

[Magician1]

I'd be a thousand times more upset if I knew that OTHER people knew (s)he wasn't a girl and kept their mouths shut about it.

Now that is a damn good point if they are doing the same to someone else it is DEFINITELY your duty to expose the fraud to the nation and if needed have the cowardly scumback hung by the neck until they are dead, dead, DEAD.......Alright hanging them may be over the top but i feel we have a right to know who this freak is.

 

[Smade1]

Why not post what info you have and let people decide for themselves in the matter?

 

[chode]

Hey, i would be all for it. I actually did on sunday on the TMF. But my thread was deleted by a mod and then my use of the forum was revoked for a week. If you all would like the info i will post it exactly as well as my yaho messenger archived conversations, which arent long. Just give me the word.

 

[BigNorm]

it's my opinion, that if someone suspects someone of falsifying ANYTHING, including age, sex, etc. should be reported to the mods, where they can find out for sure. then the mods can make the public service announcement on if they believe a person has falsified information, and what proof they had.

i would not want anyone knowing someone is an opposite sex and not let anyone know, but we can't have a "witch hunt", either. but not to let others know would be an injustice. it would suck if you fell for a "woman" for weeks and weeks, only to have someone hold back info that "she" is a "he".